hey quick PSA but “reading before bed to wind down” only works if you’re normal about books btw. if you aren’t you are going to end up awake at 2:52am after finishing the whole book just trust me on this one
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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art blog(derogatory)

#extradirty

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@tymberbelle
hey quick PSA but “reading before bed to wind down” only works if you’re normal about books btw. if you aren’t you are going to end up awake at 2:52am after finishing the whole book just trust me on this one
Lily Mayne really wrote a 600 page monster erotica where the Na'vi and LoTR's Elven lovechild falls for a Billy Hargrove-esk sunshine — complete with hot pink short shorts and cut off T-shirts and unironic use of the word "rad." And then had the audacity to make it SAD.
why are people even questioning obesity in america
why is your tea liquidised?
….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?
ENGLAND. WHERE IT IS IN A BAG AND YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.
like what do you do with already liquid tea? Microwave it?
No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold
WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???
HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?
so i reblogged this from a british person and i’ve been laughing at their tags for 600 years
England, you stole tea from China. You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+. Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.
[skeletons ooh-ing]
Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.
#INTO THE HARBOR
Englad doesn’t own anything
except that time we owned most of the world
If I stop reblogging this, I’ve gone to the other side.
I have only seen this legendary post in screenshots, so today is a blessed day.
HAH
BOSTON TEA PARTY PART 2
HOLY HELL I FOUND IT
And this is why I love Tumblr
Drinking cold tea is like drinking cold hot chocolate. Sure, you *can* do it, but you *really shouldn’t*
Behold concerned Brit. Chocolate Milk
I only see this on pinterest omg….
OMFG
@riverwriter
BEHOLD THE GREATEST TUMBLR POST
“world war tea” is the best play on words i’ve heard in weeks
this post is a wild ride from start to finish
I haven’t seen this since chocolate milk was added. Is that really just an American thing? You’re missing out guys!
😂😂😂
Cold tea
Cold hot chocolate aka chocolate milk
Cold coffee
I mean, do yall even know about cold water or is that an American thing too???
YOU GUYS DRINK COFFEE COLD AS WELL???
Does the rest of the world not use ice cubes? Do y'all not have freezers? What is going on?
Just thought I’d put my 2 cents in this post, it’s iced tea and not sweet tea. Idk what Americans r smoking 💀
I’m relatively new to Tumblr but it seems like sort of a big deal that I found this post so I’m gonna reblog
Imagine not liking iced tea- actually im gonna go drink some now
I don’t even know what to say…
i drink iced tea every day >:)
Iced tea is brilliant but hot tea is nice too
@dazzling-rubabe
Behold concerned Brit
World War Tea Situation
This post is a relic
Me seeing this for the 14th time in my 5 years on tumblr and seeing more notes and comments but still reblogging it since it’s literally a World Heritage Post
date of origin: November 5th, 2013
The legend has crossed my dash.
I have ADHD so I’m immune to podcast
stealing this from @chefpyro 's tags cause same
always thought that it was crazy other folks with adhd couldn't focus on podcasts when i was totally immune from that issue then quarantine happened, i stopped driving long distances every day, and you will never fucking believe what I learned I can't do
Wait. Do people just sit down and have a podcast without any other sides, like it's a full meal? Podcast is something you ADD to other activity. That's like eating a bowl of cilantro and going "mmm yummy salad"
One of the funniest failures of US school system is the fact they are legally obligated to teach us all the states but they never actually show how big Alaska is like I have actually had teachers tell me that Texas is the biggest state. We have all just convinced ourselves that Alaska is that small shrunken down thing on most US maps and the people that know it's the largest state can almost never accurately describe how large it is.
For context here is a picture
It has a national park that’s bigger than maine. Or Switzerland. A park.
I lived in Alaska for two years and I will never get over the sheer overwhelming bigness of it.
Nights where the sky is clear you can see clusters of stars or the Northern Lights dancing. When the lights are rippling especially strong and fast you can hear a static crackle in the air. When the moon is out after it’s snowed, you don’t need flashlights to see. Everything glows and glimmers like polished quartz.
But when the sky is clouded over so you can’t see the stars, you can kind of almost sense the mountains towering over you and helping to block out the light, these giant monoliths acting like this void darker than your soul. I’ve never experience night like Alaska night.
Everything is big, the mountains, the sky, the valleys.
And the dark.
what the fuck
Home ♥️
The Dracula line about the old centuries having a power modernity cannot kill reminded me of my original fantasy British sadboy Nicholas Sayre who strode confidently into the superstitious countryside armed with modern scientific rationality and promptly got possessed by the Horrors.
I’ve had this half-formed fanfic in my brain for a while about Nick going south for a diplomatic mission except he can’t take a train because it breaks
let’s try a car oooohhhh why is it falling apart
maybe a steamer? nope now it’s steamin in the harbor
so he hears about a ship built to precise medieval standards, filled with medieval-style supplies, just hanging out close to the Wall and goes to see if they can take him to Corvere except
the boat was built by a very Excited yet Logical scientist who’s learned that technology has problems north of the Wall and is lowkey preparing for an expedition by sea. so lowkey he hasn’t gotten permission from anyone. or told anyone. look there’s a lot of naysayers in academia okay??? so what if he took money from “smugglers”, they’re the only one interested in TRUE SCIENTIFIC INQUIRY
mon capitan is definitely up for a few weeks at sea so he can pick Nick’s brain. after all Nick is a well-bred Ancelstierran with a good scientific education who’s spent a lot of time up north! he should be able to explain the backwards customs of the natives and whatever odd characteristics of the soil and air that destroy mass-produced items. surely it’s not /all/ mass-produced objects, most likely it breaks down the chemical treatments for paper and cloth and perhaps the bessemer process introduces the same susceptible compounds into iron and steel production?
yeah so Nick has to spend a week trying to explain in painful detail and emphasis why, no, there’s no chemical compound, it really is magic and- yes magic is real and- no I have NOT just been brainwashed by my wife and- no it’s not a cult mark it’s a real thing that connects me to- yes there’s another land north of the Old Kingdom it’s called the Empty Lands but you can’t survive- hold on why are you asking me so many detailed questions about the Old Kingdom?????
the epilogue is after he’s had to clean up the whole mess and he just goes to Sam to apologize for himself 3 years ago
The forging of a magic sword requires a human sacrifice, and for the newest and most powerful one, a retired general renowned for many victories was chosen. However, the makers of the sword didn’t know that out of disgust for the horrors of war he had seen and inflicted, he became a pacifist.
The kingdom called for a sacrifice of blood, and I answered the call.
I was fourteen when I was drafted, a quiet farm boy with strong arms and a desire for greatness. I would plow the fields tirelessly, dreaming of the day that I would do something important.
But I did not know what greatness meant. I fed my family. Fed my community. The feats I performed with a hoe in my hand were important, much more so than any I performed with a blade later on.
My mother cried when I left, holding on to the hem of my shirt. Perhaps she knew, at some level, that we would never see each other again. Perhaps she just feared for her too young son, marching off to war. I’ll never know. I only know that my final memory of her were of her tears.
The kingdom called for a sacrifice of blood, and I answered the call.
War… blood, pain and terror. Fighting for my life in a foreign land, and never knowing why. I came close to death many times, a blade swipe that scraped instead of maimed, an arrow just a bit too shallow to take my life. Fear became my constant companion, my ever-present shadow.
A man named “Scout” took me under his wing. Taught me to fight, shared his limited store of food. They called him what he was, the greatest scout in the army. I once asked him for his real name, and he patted my shoulder with a sad expression
“My grave will be blank either way, farm boy. And so will be yours. Names matter little out here.”
He died pushing me to safety, taking the blade meant for me. He died in my arms, a look of relief on his face. “Hopefully I won’t be hungry anymore.”
The kingdom called for a sacrifice of blood, and I answered the call.
The right place, the right time, the wrong mission. I took out the enemy general, a fools golden luck. So many died to get us there, so many sacrificed just to take one life. I should have died, a thousand times over. But instead I survived, with nights filled with nightmares and a slight limp left over to help me remember.
They gave me a medal.
people I still want to stab over a decade later:
Creative Writing Professor at a former college: Welcome to creative writing! By the way, you will not write fantasy, ghost stories, pranormal, or science fiction in this class, as this is a creative writing course.”
What the ever loving fuck is with “creative” writing professors who think that speculative fiction of any stripe ISN’T CREATIVE?
I still remember my own creative writing teacher telling me this because he saw the Terry Pratchett book on my desk and got this smug smirk on his face like “aha, gotcha”. He had the nerve to pick it up and call it “popularist fiction”, like somehow being popular and easily accessible made it less inherent in intellectual value.
I had it in my back pack because I did my final thesis on the evolution of mythology and folk tails into fantasy and sci-fi and the societal importance of telling stories (before anyone asks, no I don’t have it, I lost it when I moved continents), and I used Terry Pratchett because there wasn’t a single humanitarian issue the man did not touch on.
Which I told him. And then he kind of floundered and went “ah, well but, it’s…well I mean it’s not exactly high brow”, like neither the fuck was Shakespeare or Dickens you self-important turnip. Dickens was literally selling his stories by the chapter. He was the popular author of his time. Shakespeare was too, he fucking made up words and phrases all the time because the language he needed to express himself didn’t exist in the way he needed it too.
Intellectual elitism is nothing more than a hold over from class warfare and the belief that only certain people should get to be truly educated. And it needs to be smashed.
What if you were dating a moth prince and living in his kingdom and he knew how out of place you felt so he made you dozens of silk dresses and blankets and gave you lots of fuzzy shawls and scarves so you wouldn’t stand out so much and always said you were so beautiful you were glowing and occasionally bump right into your face because it was a little joke and he would pretend you were a light bulb and give you tiny kisses
Half of me is like “what the fuck am I looking at” and the other half finds this inexplicably adorable and good.
the human urge to ask the people around you a question you have before googling it
it's about the process of reasoning through a question and connecting with the people around you but it's also about seeing who's right. good sportsmanlike fun.
I cannot believe my dash did this.
Tumblr is now adding persistent ads that follow you when you scroll down. If anyone from @staff is actually reading this i hope you lose your job you sleazy greedy piece of human waste
There's a lot of discourse about what the label "bisexual" really means so I'd like to clarify that "bisexual" means that it occurs twice per sexual, NOT once every other sexual.
the news is bad sometimes
Okay but what’s the phone
As advertised:
thats what cain used to kill abel
Okay but for real think of the possibilities.
People in remote areas (both recreationally and living) - hiking or dangerous areas if they’re lost, hurt, or scouting ahead
Homeless people
Disabled people (to alert for help or contact vital services
Areas of extreme poverty (see all above)
Lost people (either urban or rural) able to call for help
Somebody close to death able to record all final thoughts (either injured, terminal, trapped, or unable to have constant medical care)
Children always able to call for help
Abused people - hiding a phone without worrying about it needing to be recharged
it isn’t bad at all, we’re just so used to phone companies trying to make paper thin phones with no battery life cause it’s good for business
Support for the thick boi
Concepts like sex magic and fertility deities in fantasy are actually really interesting to me as a person with a lot of interest in anthropology and mythology like Yes I am curious about the weird sex that elves have but its pretty much exclusively explored by authors who are Weird Horny Dudes and forget about putting that stuff into a d&d campaign
Oh we’re talking about sex in fantasy settings are we?
Oh, famed fantasy author Ed Greenwood! So good to see you, we’re having our panel down here in my wine cellar,
WAIT I HAVEN’T FINISHED TELLING YOU HOW THE DROW MATRIARCHS DISCIPLINE THEIR UNRULY MALE CONSORTS
This is funny and I don’t even know who that is
Let him speak.
I love the “it’s okay and not horny that I want to explore weird sex mythology but it is when men do it” mentality
me when I can definitely read
You want weird D&D sex stuff? Here’s some for you. Goblins are like Tribbles. Any goblin with enough food and space will just spontaneously become pregnant, that’s how you get so damn many of them so fast. Technically this means they’re all clones, but (like Tribbles) they have a really high rate of mutation so a lot of them end up with assorted deformities and birth defects, but sometimes you end up with a really stable variant that has distinct advantages like Hobgoblins or Bugbears and then those are self-replicating too.
# THOUGH WOULDN’T THAT TECHNICALLY QUALIFY AS WEIRD D&D NON-SEX STUFF?
Alright fine how about this: there’s no such thing as a Human. Or rather, human is a word from some ancient obscure dialect that roughly translates as ‘hybrid’ or ‘mutt’.
You ever wonder why all the really ancient civilizations, the ruins and stuff, are all dwarven or gnomish or snake people or whatever? Why Human empires are always the new kids on the block, usually with no explanation where they came from, while the elves are inevitably from an ancient culture with a million years of traditions who used to rule the planet but have been declining for longer than the GM bothered to write history for? Why human stats are always the average, with everybody else’s characters defined by which direction they deviate from that in?
Well, in any of the major races, you can divide people roughly into two groups.
The first group keeps to themselves. Maybe they don’t feel any need to leave home, maybe they prefer the company of people with similar characteristics to themselves, maybe they believe that their race is the greatest in the universe, whatever, point is they pretty much keep their culture self-contained and their bloodlines pure. I’m gonna call them ‘xenophobes’ for the sake of convenience, even though it sounds unfairly judgemental and most of them are perfectly nice folks just living simple quiet lives.
The second group feels the need to go out and explore the world (or conquer it), or maybe just wants to meet new people. Ima call them ‘xenophiles’; again not totally accurate in all cases but it’s a convenient term for the moment. And when they meet similar explorers from other cultures, they make friends. And then they make more than friends. And then they fuck. Sometimes nothing happens; an elf and, say, a lizardman or a kobold or whatever is too different, completely incompatible. But it turns out that an elf and a gnome can have kids just fine. And then one day, that gnelf falls in love with a dorc, and the resulting child comes out pretty damn close to a modern human.
Fast forward a thousand years. You have some rebel kids in any given ancient traditional culture group who want to strike out into the larger world, and some explorers who ultimately learn that what they really want is to settle down back in their ancestral lands, but in general all the xenophobes become more, well, xenophobic with their secret forest villages and sealed mountain fortresses and their racially-homogenous warbands. And on the other side, the xenophiles keep on fucking whatever can talk intelligibly enough to consent. Eventually they devolve into a sort of undifferentiated genetic slurry, which we call humanity.
The “average” human is probably mostly elf and orc and dwarf and gnome, but also has small but significant amounts of dragon, demon, angel, elemental, giant, merfolk, fey, and whatever else you care to imagine flowing through their veins. The half-elves and half-orcs and tieflings and aasimar and genasai and such are all still “human”, but with some specific part of their lineage displaying strongly enough to affect game stats some.
[”Halflings” arose from a similar process, but randomly stumbled into a sort of ‘local maximum’ of hybridization, where they ended up with a combination of traits that caused most of them to not want to bother with all that nasty ‘adventure’ business and instead form small, tight-knit communities around comfortable burrows, lavish meals, and high quality weed, so most of them sorta ‘returned’ to the xenophobe lifestyle. There’s some variation between them, like Tallfellows have more elf blood and Stouts have more dwarf blood, but nowhere near the degree of bizarre diversity you see within the main human population]
Oh, so you mean something like this:
yeah kinda except that a mix of elf, dwarf, and halfling would be tiny. Humans have gotta be like, ¼ orc on average.
Also where do gnomes fit into this? You gotta account for the gnomes.
I remember seeing a post on /tg/ years ago, where someone sprung a surprise on their group in a game they were running. This particular part of the game had a plot that revolved around an elven prince who was in love with an orc woman, and the players were helping the two lovebirds get together. The players eventually succeed, with the elf prince marrying the orc and bringing her into his kingdom officially, with them eventually deciding to have kids. The players go on to do other things in the setting, but eventually enough time passes that the child is going to be born, and the players receive and invitation to come see the kid as soon as it’s born, since they were integral in its conception. It is eventually revealed that the union of an elf and an orc produces a human, a fact that had been lost to the sands of time in the setting the DM had created, due to the long standing hatred between the two races.
We need HOAs or some idiots will paint their house purple or put tractor tires in their front yard. If you want tractor tires, don’t move to a HOA neighborhood.
I couldn’t even fathom how horrifying it must be to live somewhere there are...purple houses and and yucky stuff in people’s yards. Thank God I don’t have any real problems like that.
listen my Nonna and Nonno live right by a purple house (it’s a nice lilac) and as a kid I was fucking obsessed with it because purple is my favorite color. I’d go nuts whenever we passed by it. Also it had a purple mailbox to match and it blew my mind.
No more HOAs. More purple houses.
imagine trying to control what someone else can do with or on their own property just because you don't agree with their taste in decor
NO MORE HOAs MORE PURPLE HOUSES
Related, becuase I just had to move: “just don’t move into an HOA” Do you know what a PAIN IN THE ASS it is to find NON-HOA Housing? Very nearly everything in the CO front range that isn’t a rental has an HOA these days!
Short list of the Shit the HOA at my pervious house tried to pull:
Banning personal and community food gardens (The reason the tag for my garden is “The garden of earthly HOA violations”)
Banning people from using thier personal yards as Native Plant Restoration microzones, something that looks gorgeous and is extremely helpful to the local ecology
trying to get the city council to remove protections on adjacent city Open Space/Native Plant restoration zone so they could mow it.
mandating the use of ONE landscaping company in the neighborhood, coinicdentally owned by the HOA president’s son
Mandating the use of an unecessary water purification company on all properties.
suing city animal control for collecting lose dogs and cats and returning them to the addresses on thier collars. You know. that thing animal control does so the animals don’t get run over or disemboweled by the coyotes or catch and spread rabies. The thing that’s illegal to let your pet do out here for those reasons Karen.
Suing the city council to remove a city bus stop in the neighborhood that was heavily used by many residents. They damn near got away with it becuase the HOA meetings were always in the middle of the day on a weekday. You know, when the residents that use that stop are working.
Sending people letters threatening to fine them for having “Out Of Season” holiday decor. Specifically targeting my Indian neighbors who were celebrating Diwali, not Christmas and the Jews with visible Menorahs.
Fining people for doing thier own appliance and car repair on thier own personal property
Fining people for operating a business out of thier house, specifically targeting a disabled neighbor that does comission tailoring and garment repair out of her home. never bothered a soul except the one snoopy bitch who didn’t like that her clients were allowed to park in the tailor’s designated and otherwise unused parking space.
Trying to fine a neighbor for flying a Pride Flag
HOAs are invasive, bigoted, corrupt and cruel institutions that should never have been allowed to be created. If you live in and HOA area, showing up at the meetings to tell people what the fuck is wrong with them, Joining your HOA board to protect your neighbors and possibly organize the dissolution of the HOA is one of the best things you can do to protect the marginalized members of your community.
FUCK HOAs AND LONG LIVE THE PURPLE HOUSES AND TRACTOR-TIRE GARDENS OF THE WORLD.
Are y'all telling me this shit is actually LEGAL?
Here’s how to get an HOA to leave you and your purple house tf alone
cant stop thinking about this post. 😔
direct action
HOAs, IN THEORY, could be such a force for public good, and that’s what’s maddening. Imagine if an HOA was like “well we’ve got all these houses and this one empty lot, pay your HOA dues and we can install a community food garden!” or “leave your contact information on the HOA residents-only webpage if you’re willing to be an after-school dropoff for children in our community who may not have a parent at home” or “hi, Sally, we’ve noticed your yard’s gone rather hogwild and things weren’t like that before your husband passed last year, do you need some help? We have some folks in the HOA who can help you with maintenance, no charge.”
Instead they choose isolation over community in the name of a unity that’s in image only, and that’s really, really sad.
Friend of mine bought a small house, an old one in an old neighborhood. She had no idea it was an HOA neighborhood until the day she moved in. They arrived with paperwork she "had" to sign or things would get "complicated", aka do this or we're gonna make life hell for you. She immediately told them no, she has no desire to be part of the HOA, and they about blew a gasket. Went from civil to wtf real quick. They tried sending her violation reports, demanded she pay fines, threatened her, etc. What they didn't know is she's petty and gives zero fucks. She also lives keeping paperwork nice and tidy.
Shit hit the fan when she installed a wall around her property. A 3 feet tall 2 foot wide wall around her yard. Topped with gorgeous iron work with sharp points that make climbing dangeous. Think Addams Family Lite. They tried to stop the construction because she was using the /wrong/ company (a mutual aid group she worked with). Send her fines and fees, and made the mistake of sending a copy of the HOA contract with a forged signature.
Ooooo...it got so ugly! She remembered the HOA post here about that happening to others and, well, the HOA broke up because of other fuckery on top of this. But it was mostly due to her dragging them in court for fraud, harassment, disturbing the peace, trespassing, stalking, and a few other things. She was petty about it too, looked into every fucking thing she could to destroy them.
I was informed that you not, in fact, obligated to sign the HOA contract. It's not a legal requirement. When you look for a home, make sure to ask about the possible HOAs, and look at the details of your homeowner's contract. Sometimes HOAs have that shit written into the purchase. If you see it, change the contract, put your initials and date in the changed sections, and see how the real estate agent handles in. This is legal, btw.
Don't sign the HOA contract, learn the laws regarding yard stuff (did you know you can apply to have your yard declared a wildlife reserve?), and be petty af when the nosy neighbors won't mind their business.