Yeag
EXPECTATIONS
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@voidcats
Yeag
Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later
if i made a video game where you get to pick the gender of the player character i'd make both the options be nonbinary and you can either have they/them or it/its pronouns. those are your only options
harry dubois would end death note in one episode. he'd be unkillable bc he has no fucking idea what his name is and then he'd go drink driving and accidentally run light over and the killings would mysteriously stop
Harry: Kim, what's following that kid?
Kim: ...
Harry: What?
Kim: What are you talking about?
Inland Empire [80%]
Looks like you're the only one who can see it.
Harry: The... bone monster?
Kim: The bone monster.
Harry: Yes. The bone monster.
THE BONE MONSTER - As you approach it grins, watching you watching it.
THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Good morning officers."
YOU - Continue looking at the bone monster.
THE BONE MONSTER - It tilts its head to the side quizzically at you.
YOU - Tilt your head in response.
THE BONE MONSTER - It begins leering over you, grinning even harder.
THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - The kid turns towards you.
PERCEPTION [LEGENDARY: SUCCESS] - For a moment he looked at the bone monster, and then to you.
THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Is there a problem, officers?"
KIM - "You will have to forgive my partner, he has quite an active imagination."
THE BONE MONSTER - "You hear that? I'm just a part of your imagination."
INLAND EMPIRE - I don't think he's a part of your imagination.
This man... He can see Ryuk? But how? The only explanation is that he touched my Death Note, but I've had it with me all day! Did he sneak into my room last night while I was asleep? But, all my security measures were intact... And he seems confused, is he putting on an act? Let me see if I can...
"Pardon me officer, I don't think I caught your name?"
"Uh, well that's the thing, I, uh, don't actually remember it at the moment."
Damn him! He knows I need a name to kill, and now he's taunting me! He can see Ryuk, too, so one wrong move could end me! I might have to make the eye deal at this point...
---------------------------------
LOGIC [Medium, failure]: This bone monster is obviously Kira. You are fucked.
Try to make Kim see the bone monster. [Suggestion, Legendary]
Attempt to arrest the bone monster.
Put yourself between the bone monster and Light.
Ask Light for some money.
Try to play it off as a joke and leave quickly. [Composure, Formidable]
> Attempt to arrest the bone monster
PERCEPTION [EASY: FAILURE] - You can't tell what gender it is.
YOU - "Excuse me, sir-- or, uh, madam?-- Bone... person..."
THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs, a deep, gutteral sound, like air escaping from the lungs of a corpse. As its jaw moves, you can see rows upon rows of sharp teeth inside its gaping maw.
COMPOSURE [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS] - You stand your ground and manage not to freak out.
YOU - "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the police station. You... uh, match the description of a suspect... I think."
THE BONE MONSTER - It lets out a loud, phlegmatic belly laugh. "What are you going to do, arrest me?"
AUTHORITY - Damn right you are. Cuff him.
YOU - "Yes, as a matter of fact, I will. You are under arrest on suspicion of being Kira. Put your hands forward, wrists together."
KIM - "How exactly are you going to handcuff a hallucination, Detective?"
THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs again, like this is the funniest thing in the world, before obediently sticking out its arms.
THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - His eyes go wide and his face goes pale as you place the cuffs on the monster's wrists, before his gaze darts to Kim.
KIM - He is staring at the cuffs. He looks bewildered. "Are those handcuffs... floating?"
-----------------------------------
Shit! Ryuk, why did you have to comply?! Is this a game to you? No matter... They still don't realize that I'm Kira, not Ryuk. All I have to do is stay calm and act surprised. I'm sure Ryuk can just escape later, once he gets bored. And this other cop obviously can't see him, so it seems it's only the first one who has touched a Death Note... I just need to make it seem that he's the only one who can see Shinigami. Then I'll seem innocent, and he'll be the suspicious one!
"How did you do that? Is it some kind of magic trick?"
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SHIVERS [Heroic, Success]: As intimidating as it looks, the bone monster isn't the real threat.
Deduce who the real Kira is [Logic, Godly]
Ask Light what he knows about the bone monster.
Tell Kim I-told-you-so.
Convince Light you are a sorcerer [Drama, Impossible]
Ask Light if he has any cigarettes.
I don't know shit about Harry's universe but I wanna see where this is gonna go. I vote cigarettes next.
As usual, sharing the redraw 💪🏽 I like taking old art I’ve drawn and trying again. It’s really fun to see what skills I’ve learned and what has generally stayed the same.
I do wish I went with a more pinkier tone in the 2026 version like how I did back in 2022, but the gold seems to work fine enough 🙂
Fuck it, post lamb stew slow cooker recipe
How high was I last night?
How much lamb stew did I want to make??
1,814¾ lbs of Lamb????
>960 cups beef broth >2 bay leaves
the unfathomable power of bay leaf
PTSD? You got pussy taste speldiferous disorder???
i don’t even know what to say here.
you know what. yes. i do got pussy taste splendiferous disorder.
local matchmaker losing it over yet another unrealistic demand from the clientele 🤣🤣
Translation by me. :))
“Even a slightly increased possibility of summoning rain is still an ability to summon rain” is such a good point
Autistic humor be like "let me continue this hypothetical to a comedic extreme while playing it straight the entire time only to break character and say 'don't be ridiculous' at a random moment no more ridiculous than any of the other moments in this hypothetical, and the contrast between playing the other ridiculous aspects of the hypothetical straight and treating one specific thing as ridiculous creates an entertaining moment"
Which. Btw. This is like one of the funniest fucking things to me. This is not criticism. Please keep doing this
Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker
someone on reddit explained 😭
That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.
En Anglais, on ne dit pas “quatre vingt dix neuf”, on dit “ninety nine” qu'on pourrait traduire comme “Hurr durr, regardez mois, j'ai un système de numérotation fonctionnel” et je crois que c'est magnifique.
花怜(2025)
When cats walk up to you all "hi can I perhaps interest you in me, kitten boy? I'm literally warm and soft"