That's not a spell that's an MCR song

(I corrected him wisely)

[rotyolk]

ok last batch

[pengychan]

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

[pengychan]

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

[battlships]

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he'd have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

[saintsideways]

Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar

[fieldbears]

[dreg-heap]

God could you imagine how mad geologists must have been to slowly watch the "hey all the continents kinda fit like puzzle pieces :)" guy get proven right

[madnessofmen]

It was a woman that did it!

[talldarkandautistic-deactivated]

I love girl talk, especially when it’s complex geological theory

[kkoraki]

@iamthepulta​

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[lostsoullover]

Why would you hide this in the tags?

[tumbwr]

[kitty-c4t]

[budugu]

[agnosticblowjob]

[msburgundy-but-worser-deactivat]

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

[luimnigh]

Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.

[instantromanticfloor]

2008 Gmail promotional soap

[evilsexy]

[toothsalad]

[silver-tongues-blog]

get into furry art so a heart surgeon will exclusively commission you for thousands of dollars to draw fox and falco bigger than a city and buff as hell like a noble becoming the patron of a renaissance artist

[kim-jong-chill]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

[mattheuphonium-blog]

fabulous 

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

[counterpunches]

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

[catchymemes]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[zmeyel]

Though it can seem daunting, a range of noted thinkers from Karl Marx to Ice T agree that in such scenarios it is necessary to hold your friend to account for their misdeeds. Both for their own sake and for society writ large.

[funnytwittertweets]

[notajerusalemcricketd-deactivat]

[unscheduled-excursion-0000001]

[matrixonvhsanddvd]

Sorry bro this thing doesn’t look terrible and shitty enough for me. I only fuck with things that are terrible and shitty

[alchemisoul]

[nitewrighter]

I was about to make a post about like… how my family has this lemon tree out front, and one of the funniest things about having a lemon tree is occasionally I’ll be out in front doing whatever and I’ll see someone walking past and quickly grab a lemon off the tree and stuff it in their pockets as quick as they can like they’re shoplifting. 

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of… them…

[pretentioussongtitle]

I’ll admit it, OP. As soon as you mentioned your family had a lemon tree in their yard I wanted to ask you how they were dealing with the whore infestation.

[mapsontheweb]

Passenger trains in US vs Europe (image is making the rounds among U.S. transit advocates today)

[ilikeit-art]

[skaiandestiny]