Not today Justin
blake kathryn
Xuebing Du
Product Placement
titsay
almost home
Today's Document
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
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official daine visual archive
#extradirty
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TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
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macklin celebrini has autism
occasionally subtle
YOU ARE THE REASON
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NASA
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@wmissy38
Is Less Actually More?
Is Less Actually More?
Been a long time interwebs. I thought, probably daily, about how I should come here and write, update, vent, whatever. And every time I found a spare minute, I found a reason not to. To say I’ve done a 180 personality wise might be an understatement. 2017 – so crazy to believe in 2 years my baby will be graduating high school and that she will get her license this year. Many moons ago, when…
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You Say It Best, When You Say Nothing at All
You Say It Best, When You Say Nothing at All
Helllloooooo blog world – it’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted anything of substance. Nearly everyday I stop and think “I need to blog tonight”. The day passes and I end up passing out with Will lol. I know I’ve said this in a past blog (or at least in my head), but I understand why entertainers and writers and performers never treat their mental demons. I write so much better when I’m in…
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But My Words Like Silent Raindrops Fell
But My Words Like Silent Raindrops Fell
I really wish my brain fired the way it should. Was a long, rough week that followed what appeared to be a never ending onslaught of long, rough weeks. I’m in a rut. Hamster on the wheel, groundhog day every day. And the darkness on the periphery of my vision … extending it long bony fingers. Beckoning me to be his partner again in a dance I’ve done too many times. So my diagnosis and treatment…
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Love is Not a Victory March ...
Love is Not a Victory March …
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah … This song always haunted me. Now it knocks on the door of that pain and darkness like nothing else can. And this is, by far, one of my favorite renditions. My goal? To be able to listen again and enjoy its haunting beauty, without feeling the pain tied to it … or perhaps, on the flip…
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Cluster B
That’s me. Well my official diagnosis. I’m a case of Cluster B Personality Disorder because I don’t fall cleanly into one of the types in this cluster. Borderline, histrionic, narcissistic and antisocial. I laughed. If I didn’t I would go the opposite direction and, well, that isn’t good. Cluster B are the erratic, emotional, dramatic types. Could be worse. Cluster A is delusional and…
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I’ll Take It! On the path to healing me, I've learned how important it is to celebrate the small victories.
Broken
There is no longer one good thing I can say about you and each day I despise you more and more. There are so many portions of my life I’ve shut the door on it’s like I jumped from 24 to 35 to 39 to 42 and so it goes. Maybe I didn’t really love you because your feigned bliss sickens me. I’ve blocked you every way I can online because I once never crossed paths and now I can’t stop seeing things –…
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Mea Culpa
Sigh. This is one of those raw, honest posts so if you’re not up for it scroll on by. Somewhere along the way, I seem to have given people the wrong impression. People claim I’m strong, and optimistic, and patient. These past 7 days have proven it all wrong. It’s been a long time since I’ve been based out of the house with Will. As he ages he is more involved in things like school and camp.…
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42 Years Down
Hit me this morning, laying in bed with my bud, today I’m 42. So what about that made me pause? Well the significance of 42, if you’re a fan of sci-fi. So what is 42? The Almighty Answer to the Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything. No pressure. So on this first day of my 42nd year on the planet, it got me pondering. On this day my baby girl left for her first day as a sophomore in…
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Lifting the Veil
Ok kids, grab a cup of joe (or wine), this one may get long. I’ve vague booked enough and I hate that shit, but I needed to make 100% sure where this path and my heart were leading me. And it’s not without back story, of course. From the time Will was born, he spent most of his life surrounded by adults mostly. Doctors, nurses, me, teachers, therapists, intervention specialists, sitters, his…
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Because … Lang Leav … She just gets me .... Been quiet, lots on my mind to weigh and consider. Hopefully clarity coming this week then I'll have lots to say!
The Road We Walk
The Road We Walk
Laying here in the dark next to my sleeping angel and big furry love, I realize how scary and emotionally taxing today was. I can feel the salty tears begin to sting my eyes. There’s something about kids with Angelman and this amazing ability to go from playing and laughing to literally in a hospital on death’s door … and completely rebound to do it again somewhere down the road. And each time…
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Just Gonna Leave This Here
Heavy Heart
I haven’t said much of Facebook because, well, I’m not really sure what to say. I’m sorry feels so inadequate at times like this. In the past week, two kids with Angelman have passed due to unfortunate accidents. This isn’t the first I’ve encountered and I know it won’t be the last. But it does stir up thought, worry, anxiety I try my damndest to push down. I’m truly unsure what the stats are…
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Weight of the World Finally Off My Shoulders It took two excruciating years, lots of tears, meds, therapy and self evaluation. And while I still feel sick to my stomach at times when I see you, the above words are FINALLY true. The Phoenix has risen. I'm so good. I'm content. I'm at peace. I'm free.
Table For One? A friend said it best- sometimes it's better to have all the ammo you'd need, but to sit back and watch karma work. Karma is real my friends, what you do to others comes back to you. I've watched it twice now. And, yes, evil me enjoyed it.
Lightbulb Moment I really do feel I'm at the very edge of let it healing and ready to let go. It's my time, it's my turn to be happy.