I'm broke as shit yo

[pixelizedprince]

HA! HOW VERY GLIB

Yes, it is a bead keychain of Gaius' entire elevator speech from Praetorium. It took me, a ... lot of hours, is roughly 400+beads, and is about 10 feet long.

[cutesexyrobutts2]

[onlytwitterpics]

[catoverlord]

[iamonlykidding-deactivated20210]

[ouchmyworm-deactivated20190708]

[verdeinvolumes-deactivated20190]

[braetsch]

[star-cocks-deactivated20181217]

[pastelburrito]

[jojomangaedits]

[rainbowgazes-archive]

[gamerphobic-deactivated20200727]

[thewomenandthechildren]

It’s time to activate it…

Bites The Dust! now this entire post will be reversed!

[aliiiiiiice]

[avocadosfromfigaro]

[beebugger]

Am I having a fucking stroke

[best-of-reblogs]

[memewhore]

[papasmoke]

Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release

[papasmoke]

[verminsblood]

what kind of sixth sense do american have to recognize fbi agents that easily

[demonius-darkblade]

to paraphrase her, its always the shoes.

[pedro-martines]

americans please explain to a foreigner, he looks like some random dude to me

[imnotafeddammit]

1. They all have the same haircut, almost everybody in law enforcement and the military have the same haircut due to regulations.

2. They all wear the same shoes. Same boots, and same overpolished dress shoes.

3. They act different. Shifty eyed and always on their own.

4. They’re kinda really bad at their jobs. I’ve encountered plenty of “undercover” cops outside of bars that ask questions no regular person in their right mind would ever ask. “How are you getting home?” “Who did you come here with tonight?”

5. America is a police state on a budget. Most officers are poorly trained, fbi agents require a 4 year degree (I think), but lord knows how much training they actually get. And the dumb kids from your high school always become cops.

It’s always the dense as a brick kid, with something to prove that becomes a cop. The kid that mouth-breathed and couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time.

[derkartoffelkonig]

Their shirts are never form fitting so they can conceal a weapon and cuffs.

Always look at the watch, it’ll be expensive but in neutral tones (uniform standards strike again).

They will always sit where they can see their target and the nearest exit.

They will have a partner who is less obvious but wil point a recording device (phone or camera) at you. Check elevated positions, it gives them the clearest view to track you and keep an eye on their partner at the same time.

[jimmyfury]

One time when i lived in phoenix, I was driving home through residential streets from Panda Express on April 20th and there was a 40something year old white man standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the fucking road wearing a brand new straight from the store weed jersey (jersey #420 with a big pot leaf), a wornout old raiders hat, regular-fit straight leg jeans, and cop shoes. This man proceeded to try to wave me down to stop since I was driving slowly (again, residential neighborhood) and as he did so fully yelled “You buying bro? You buying? 420 bro 420 you buying?”

I almost choked laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop myself from just yelling “NO THANK YOU OFFICER” as i drove by him.

[brunhiddensmusings]

for the past 60 years law enforcement, military, and even literal espionage/intelligence based organizations have assumed that rigid conformity to dress code was more important then actually training how to go undercover, blend in, or understand what the fuck theyre doing largely because the ‘we are infallible’ mindset is too strong for them to consider they might not be doing very good

[official-lucifers-child]

shoutout to the two “undercover cops” who were at my school to monitor the student body for a week, acting like “substitute assistants” and literally all of the kids immediately recognised them as cops and everyone would address them only as “officer” which annoyed the hell out of them because “we aren’t cops” like sir you literally have your badge in your back pocket and a taser what fucking substitute assistant would have an actual police badge and a whole ass taser??

[crazy-pages]

Just a casual reminder that this is what secret police are. Like, this is the literal definition. Police who are (badly or otherwise) pretending to not be police.

[swampgallows]

i know this has eight billion notes already but i love sharing these images

[chaoticchickengremlin]

This thread reminds me of this story lol

[felcemartello]

This sounds bonkers to me because in Italy it’s forbidden for cops to bait you to commit a crime, if they do and you cave in they end up in jail

[3liza]

it is 100% legal for cops to lie to you in the united states, about anything they want to, at any time during any contact with you. they do plenty of illegal stuff too but never get in trouble for it

i got one of these guys one time responding to an internet ad to buy something (maybe Craigslist? i cant remember). he tried to bait me into prostitution and when i said no and “are you a cop?” there was the longest, most awkward pause you have ever seen before he just said “….no.”

they can lie to you about being a cop too, the thing you see on tv about “cops have to tell you they’re cops” is bullshit, i only asked because i wanted to see how he acted. anyway yeah this is why Americans seem so squirrelly to Europeans

[obama-stolemy-vcr]

This is always good info to have and REALLY came in handy in 2020

[thetetrarchyofcassidy]

Learn to spot pigs in human clothes

[castlewyvern]

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.

[monsterlogic]

New outfit idea

[lightningman17]

[sugoichappy]

Yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

[cargifs]

its the no notes ghoast

[foxfamilyfeatures-blog]

[leafcrunch]

tumblr’s code may change but no notes ghost stays the same

[toastoat]

Oh thank god

[ohthehypocrisy]

imagine the shit storm when tumblr finally becomes so dysfunctional that this post’s total notes is finally revealed

[sreegs-archive]

In case anyone’s curious about what happened to this post, it has to do with how we tally up notes. Likes and reblogs always add to the note count of the root post (the OP). However, the note count relies on the previous value of the root post before adding more notes to it.

Normally when you delete a post, it’s gone, but not gone gone. Just deleted from public never to be seen again. The database entry is still there, just inaccessible.

This post, however, the root post is just gone. Gone gone. Gone forever. Everything attached to it is still there, but since the root post is hard deleted, it’s got nothing to add to. When the note counter tries to add notes to nothing, it goes nowhere.

So it throws every new note into the void. Goodbye forever, notes.

I’m not sure if we’ll ever know the real number of notes on this post.

[heritageposts]

date of origin: unknown

[ex0skeletal-undead]

Please look at this absolutely fucking haunting photo @misdirectedhex sent me of her glow-in-the-dark tentacle dildo sitting on her bathroom counter.

This is PEAK ART

[nemira-the-mercenary]

I laughed WAY too long and WAY too hard at this

[seabassapologist]

[ohhmichelettoohh]

I can’t BELIEVE I had to remember how to open procreate you guys

[ex0skeletal-undead]

This is the best one thank you

[nevver]

Undo the Damage of Sitting

[artist-refs]

(Technically, this isn’t about saving your hands… but if you draw, you’re probably doing a lot of sitting, so…)

[death-420]

[abandoned-quiche]

(hit the image limit multiple times, check the notes for the full conversation)

[abandoned-quiche]

[abandoned-quiche]

[abandoned-quiche]

[abandoned-quiche]

[the-aprils-only-fool]

Funny thing is, Golurk literally IS made of clay! It takes inspiration from the golem of prauge, and potentially terracotta warriors! Hence why it's ground/ghost type.

[paper-mario-wiki]

Visit Original Link

(source)

[spillybun-deactivated20190921]

Ominous positivity

[spillybun-deactivated20190921]

You will be okay. You have no choice.

[jadedsoggy]

Everything will turn out fine. You cannot stop it.

[justabirdy]

You will succeed. It is inevitable.

[weeaboobot]

Onii-chan said he’d deep fry me today*T poses and clips into the wall*!

[adulthoodisokay]

oh my god this vid from a /ck/ thread is incredible

[emiria]

my kinda diet

[megasonger]

[sussura]

What

[doodlemeimpressed]

[loutrem]

This video looks like how it feels when youre crying in your bed at 3 am out of anxiety and youre trying to cheer yourself up by watching videos but all it does is make your brain feel more erratic.

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

What

[mayflowers07-deactivated2026071]

DONT :) FORGET :) THE :) OLIVE :)

[prostheticknowledge]

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

[johnnystompanado-deactivated201]

the time is now

[susaine-mcswiney-deactivated201]

hell yeah

[defibrinationsyndrome]

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

[spiffymuffin]

[caterjunes]

it’s called the purple ramjet

[jolys]

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

[grillmasterxbbq]

shove a vase up your ass

[lord-kitschener]

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

[fan-troll]

i call it the matterhorn

[poultrymancy]

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

[darklightescape]

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

[teapotsahoy]

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

[furiousfran]

I call this one the Megahorny

Just cram an entire table lamp up there

[ifitaintbaroque]

Me every time this post crosses my dash:

[rosegardenmassacre-deactivated2]

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

[prettyyinpunk]

Plate. 

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog