Allenortep

32 years of whatever from Sweden. Mostly just shitposts everything I find funny. Current obsession: Star Wars, MAG, Dragon Age and Harry Potter.

[transmascmarypoppins]

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

[cecilsrandomeverything]

Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….

Finally, we have them all.

[spacefinch]

In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.

Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.

[chatblancofficial]

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

[black-quadrant]

Reblog this triple-dead post for something good to happen to you this week.

[aegyo-shinee]

This is cracking me up..why on earth did they delete his response in the movie!? hes so offended LOL

[amehtanas]

UNMUTE THIS

[carbonitekenobi]

sCuM?!

[laylainalaska]

I don’t know why it cracks me up so much that Han’s first reaction is not to attack, or to protect Leia, but to hold her back, clearly assuming that she’s just going to fling herself into the middle of a dozen armored Stormtroopers and start trying to kill them with her bare hands.

[sheisjoeschateau]

forever my cranky scoundrel <33

“ssssCUM??”

[alwaysscreechingbasement]

[teashoesandhair]

This doesn’t include the best bit of the whole thing - she found the Twitter thread!

[black-feather-fiction]

This is like one of those romance novels where people bond over accidentally writing each other emails but better.

Like Pride and Prejudice but instead of the love interest getting dissed for his toxicity and then reforming, it’s just two people bonding over dissing a dead toxic asshole.

10/10 would recommend

[queen-mihai]

Oh this is amazing. More like this

[serpentstones-blog1]

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

[serpentstones-blog1]

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[storybookprincess]

so a very long time ago, my dad worked with an arson investigator

this guy was often one of the first people on the scene following a suspected arson, once emergency services had done what they needed to do. at times, there were also civilians on the periphery. often, they were freaking out, and understandably so; their home or workplace had just, quite literally, gone up in smoke

this investigator wouldn’t try to calm them down. he wouldn’t comfort them or be a shoulder to cry on.

instead, he’d walk up to the person most visibly losing their shit, hand them a fire extinguisher, and say “hey, can you keep an eye out for any other fires, and if you see one, can you put it out with this?”

of course, there was no actual risk of another fire. he wouldn’t be on the scene investigating if there was even a chance that the fire wasn’t completely put out. but the bystander didn’t need to know that

because that person, without fail, would immediately pull it together, take the fire extinguisher, and stand guard. they were, at least temporarily, calm enough for this investigator to do this job

my dad has told me the parable of the fire extinguisher a hundred times, and i think about it a lot. i think about what it says about people and crises. i think about what it says about the grounding power of having a purpose. and i think about the importance of letting someone help me through something, even if that help is just going to be another casserole to throw into the freezer, because useless or not, that fire extinguisher might be the only thing holding them together

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Every bit of emergency response training I've ever done has a part that's like "check the bystanders, and if anyone looks like they're about to lose it, give them something to monitor. Tell them to keep an eye out for the ambulance or to make sure everyone else is staying clear of the hazard or something."

[beka-tiddalik]

I once sat through a social psychology lecture about the bystander effect and (ignoring that it turns out there were hundreds of calls to the emergency line during the initial incident that made people coin the term, so people weren't doing "nothing",) you know the best way to break people out of being bystanders?

Give them a job.

My lecturer had a chance to test this- she was on the scene for a motorbike crash, realised everyone had frozen and so started giving orders "you, call an ambulance, you and you, stand there so cars know to go around etc etc."

And it worked. Of course it worked.

Most people are dying to have a script to help. It's why part of first aid training is telling everyone: You. You are in charge until someone with more skills/training gets there. Step 1 call for help, step 2 make sure you won't get hurt helping, step 3 if you can apply first aid until help can get there.

You've got this, and if you don't got this at least you're trying to help.

[shreekofjoy]

You've been hit by 🔪

You've been struck by🔪

A mad senator! 🔪

[whitepeopletwitter]

[samshine-and-lollipops-deactiva]

Wait, it got better.

[libertineangel]

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

[horizon-penblade]

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[brownian-notions]

[phantomrose96]

I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline

[phantomrose96]

characters: Ah, I'm so glad that's all over now :). But luckily that's done and dealt with and we can all resume our normal lives now :)

fic length: Chapter 9 out of 48

[phantomrose96]

[medievalspecs]

[amvs]

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

[amvs]

[walkietalkiesaki]

Fun Fact!

Titanium not only is crazy durable, but it noo magnet! Thas wy Dock chok jjiun spi; surgyr ad pater noster, qui es in cœlis; sanctificetur nomen tuum: Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cœlo, et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie: Et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris: et ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malo.

[amvs]

dude got hit with the ol’ Lorum Ipsem beam😞

[squareallworthy]

Fun fact! Titanium is often used for medical implants because it's *dodges lorem ipsum beam* because it's strong, nontoxic, won't corrode inside the body, and best of all, *dodges* bone will directly grow onto it! This is called "osseointegration" and it means that your titanium artificial hip, dental implant, or whatever will have greater *dodges* greater mechanical stability and will ARRRGGH! aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit!

[amvs]

[4gifs]

[theproblematicblogger]

That gazebo is so fucked

[didgeridooyouloveme]

Are you sure gazebo is the correct word?

Are

you 

sure?

[awkwardarbor]

idk why you’re confused, that poor gazebo needs help

[thebobblehat]

This has hit my dash three times… that final reblog made it worthy.

[blackmormon-blog]

I only liked this for the gif

[saint-augustines-pears]

You cannot call for help, you must face the gazebo alone

[sergal]

hello this is your google account. did you know that you are trying to log in. to. your google account. would you like five emails about how you logged in to your google account.

[ilynpilled]

[kosmogrl]

[qalbtalk-deactivated20231105]

“…use things to have good days.”

[narcissistcookbook]

the loading screen trying to convince me to use even one of my 3000 consumables

[notahorseindisguise]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

[mysticorset]

Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids

[notahorseindisguise]

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

[hiveswap]

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

[midnight-revolucion]

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

[notahorseindisguise]

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

[marlinspirkhall]

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

[mangonetics]

If I may momentarily break keyfabe, I think the deal with D.B. Cooper is most likely that cops are just bad at finding people.

[evilscientist3]

New D.B. Cooper theory: he went somewhere the cops didn't look

[natalieironside]

[wlfb0ygrl]

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

[whispy-witch]

i want this man in my inventory