hi!! i’m not sure if you’re aware but c.ai is incredibly harmful to the planet (and your mental wellbeing but that’s a whole other thing), and i know it’s a hard habit to kick, but please stop using it and instead read fics or find literally anything else!!!! generative ai and the promotion of generative ai is quickly destroying the planet and earth is officially in a water crisis and the UN has announced we are officially in a severe water bankruptcy. this has happened so suddenly because of the use of generative ai, including c.ai, chatgpt, ai generated photos of bucky that people post on here etc.
this isn’t me trying to attack you because i don’t know whether you’re even aware of how harmful generative ai is, but from the looks of it you have a relatively big blog, and we need less people using c.ai and more people reading fan fiction the way the good lord intended
i apologise if this comes off harsh, but it’s such a serious situation now and whilst it may not be your intention, you and millions of other c.ai users are contributing to the water scarcity earth is facing
This wasn't harsh at all! Thank you for saying this <3
I didn't know c.ai and ai were bad for the environment when i started using it, but i do now. I try to stop for the sake of the earth, but it is very hard. It's almost like an addiction. I can't speak for everyone, but for me, I have a very addictive personality, so it's very hard to stop something when I've started. This is ofc not an excuse, but it's an explanation to why it may take some time.
I'm using it less and less, and I'm going to delete the app/account once I feel like I'm ready.
I hope people can be as kind as you and have understanding for people using ai that they may not know how bad it is, or that they're mentally not ready to let go, instead of the many people being harsh about it. <3
Love you for speaking up and helping to spread the word of how harmful it is! Keep it going!
Hi! On c.ai do you know what we should search to look up Bucky boys? I know you can’t just straight out search it due to something about marvels rights but I’m not sure what to search to find any bots for him 😭😩
Hii <3
There are a good amount of bots if you just search up Bucky, but like you mentioned, because of the rights there is a high chance those are gonna get suddenly deleted. So I would just search for every type of combination of his name —first name, last name, nickname— or Sebastian Stan and just "condition" (#PavlovMentioned) the bot to say Bucky. This could maybe work on any bot, but I can't say for sure cuz I haven't really tried it. Also, use the tags and filter to find the type of vibe/dynamic you want quicker (top right corner right next to the search bar).
Another possibility is if you're looking for a specific scenario or bot in general, you can try writing the prompt yourself and just private it. I don’t think private bots get deleted?? ://
This is really the best answer I can come up with atm, so I hope it is to some help (*￣∇￣)ノ but I'll comment on this post if I figure something more solid out!
———
And ofc, you could always use my bots here , and/or send in a request if you want <33
"[…] I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more." -R.A.B
Have a request for a playlist? Have a song you think belongs in one? Or see a place where the flow could be better? Click here to share your thoughts; here ♡ ⋆˚꩜｡⋆₊⊹ welcome to my corner ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ﾟ. playlist masterlist
link to the playlist here ; Regulus A. Black
↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺
ACT I — THE NOBLE AND MOST ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACK
Slytherin values, family pressures
The Family Jewels – Marina
Are You Satisfied? – Marina
Money Power Glory – Lana Del Rey
Seventeen – Marina
R.I.P. 2 My Youth - The Neighbourhood
ACT II - SIRIUS
struggles with Sirius and loyalty
Softcore - The Neighbourhood
Rootless – Marina
We Hug Now – Sydney Rose
Ivy - Taylor Swift
Brother – Kodaline
ACT III — THE HIDDEN REBEL
Questioning Voldemort, grapples with morality
Placing the Blame – Self
Back to Black – Amy Winehouse
Eat Your Young – Hozier
I Want You To Love Me - Fiona Apple
Burning Pile – Mother Mother
Body – Mother Mother
Everybody Wants to Rule the World – Tears for Fears
ACT IV — REDEMPTION & SACRIFICE
Stealing the Horcrux, quiet heroism
Achilles Come Down – Gang of Youths
I Bet on Losing Dogs – Mitski
Hello Black Dog – Matt Maltese
My Tears Ricochet – Taylor Swift
Family Line – Conan Gray
Leaving Tonight - The Neighbourhood
Wires - The Neighbourhood
All Eyes On Me (song only) – Bo Burnham
Mirror - The Last Dinner Party
High By The Beach – Lana Del Rey
Rain – Tony Ann
ACT V — LEGACY & MEMORY
Afterlife reflection, Sirius’ perspective
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♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ﾟ. playlist masterlist
saving people, hunting things, the family business
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♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ﾟ. playlist masterlist
link to playlist here ; supernatural
↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺
ACT I — “DRIVER PICKS THE MUSIC”
The open highway, the Impala,
Carry On Wayward Son — Kansas
The Boys Are Back in Town — Thin Lizzy
Go Your Own Way — Fleetwood Mac
Rockstar — Nickelback
Jessie’s Girl — Rick Springfield
Get It On — T. Rex
Hotel California — Eagles
Summer of ‘69 — Bryan Adams
This Charming Man — The Smiths
Californication — Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Go to Hell — Megadeth
ACT II — THE FAMILY BUSINESS
Grit, blood, iron, salt n’ burn,
Werewolves of London — Warren Zevon
Maneater — Hall & Oates
I Shot the Sheriff — Eric Clapton
Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door — Bob Dylan
Smells Like Teen Spirit — Nirvana
Sad But True — Metallica
Dream On — Aerosmith
Don’t Fear the Reaper — Blue Öyster Cult
Bigmouth Strikes Again — The Smiths
House of the Rising Sun — The Animals
ACT III — FATHERS, SONS, AND BURDENS
John Winchester, destiny, guilt
American Pie — Don McLean
Fast Car — Tracy Chapman
The Gambler — Kenny Rogers
Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys — Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson
Army Dreamers (Reprise) — Kate Bush
The Chain — Fleetwood Mac
Dreams — Fleetwood Mac
Nothing Else Matters — Metallica
Every Breath You Take — The Police
How Soon Is Now? — The Smiths
Total Eclipse of the Heart — Bonnie Tyler
ACT IV — THE APOCALYPSE
Castiel, sacrifice, Heaven vs. Hell.
Losing My Religion — R.E.M.
With or Without You — U2
Don’t Look Back in Anger — Oasis
Iris — The Goo Goo Dolls
Space Oddity — David Bowie
Rocket Man — Elton John
Starman — David Bowie
Bad Moon Rising — CCR
Renegade — Styx
Simple Man — Lynyrd Skynyrd
. This Night Has Opened My Eyes — The Smiths
The World We Knew — Frank Sinatra
ACT V — HUNTING ALONE
Sam and Dean losing each other
Hurt — Johnny Cash
Back to the Old House — The Smiths
Placing the Blame — Self
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out — The Smiths
Mama, I’m Coming Home — Ozzy Osbourne
ACT VI — “DON’T YOU CRY NO MORE”
The end of the hunt, grief, peace, the last drive of the Impala
"carpe diem. seize the day, boys. make your lives extraordinary." - Mr. Keating
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♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ﾟ. playlist masterlist
link to the playlist ; dead poets society
↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺
ACT I — CARPE DIEM
curiosity, youth, wonder, autumn
Carpe Diem — Maurice Jarre
Seven — Taylor Swift
Bigger Than the Whole Sky — Taylor Swift
Mirrorball — Taylor Swift
Back to the Old House — The Smiths
Silver Soul — Beach House
First Day of My Life — Bright Eyes
New Slang — The Shins
We Fell in Love in October — girl in red
October Passed Me By — girl in red
Snowbank Blues — The Backseat Lovers
500 Miles — Peter, Paul & Mary
The Lakes — Taylor Swift
ACT II — THE SOCIETY
friendship, love, rebellion, belonging
This Love — Taylor Swift
Mr. Loverman — Ricky Montgomery
My Heart Is Buried in Venice — Ricky Montgomery
Happiness Is a Butterfly — Lana Del Rey
Bartender — Lana Del Rey
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road — Elton John
Skinny love — Bon Iver
Moon Song — Phoebe Bridgers
Speak Now — Taylor Swift
ACT III — THE FALL
pressure, shame, fear, unraveling
This Is Me Trying — Taylor Swift
Happiness — Taylor Swift
Nothing New — Taylor Swift
Forever Winter — Taylor Swift
Matilda — Harry Styles
Sad Beautiful Tragic — Taylor Swift
Right Where You Left Me — Taylor Swift
Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve — Taylor Swift
Pretty When You Cry — Lana Del Rey
How to Disappear — Lana Del Rey
Funeral — Phoebe Bridgers
Motion Picture Soundtrack — Radiohead
Atlantis — Seafret
ACT IV — O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN
grief, memory, quiet resilience
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♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ﾟ. playlist masterlist
link to the playlist here ; the marauders
↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺
ACT I — HOGWARTS MISCHIEF
the beginning, youth, friendship, queer yearning
All the Young Dudes — Mott the Hoople
About You — The 1975
The Prettiest Star — David Bowie
Starman — David Bowie
Space Oddity — David Bowie
California Dreamin’ — The Mamas and the Papas
Hello Hello — Elton John
Rebel Rebel — David Bowie
This Is the Life — Amy Macdonald
Cardigan — Taylor Swift
Back to the Old House — The Smiths
Andrew in Drag — Magnetic Fields
ACT II — LOVE & LOYALTY
romance, bonds, friendships deepening
Mirrorball — Taylor Swift
Right Where You Left Me — Taylor Swift
Your Best American Girl — Mitski
To Be So Lonely — Harry Styles
Cinnamon Girl — Lana Del Rey
Our Last Summer — ABBA
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out — The Smiths
August — Taylor Swift
Run Away to Mars — TALK
Rocket Man — Elton John
Pretty When You Cry — Lana Del Rey
ACT III — THE FIRST WIZARDING WAR
fear, resistance, chaos, bravery
Everybody Wants to Rule the World — Tears for Fears
Army Dreamers — Kate Bush
Bullet With Butterfly Wings — Smashing Pumpkins
You’re the Voice — John Farnham
The Great War — Taylor Swift
Life on Mars? — David Bowie
This Is Me Trying — Taylor Swift
Dark Matter — Andrew Belle
Happiness Is a Butterfly — Lana Del Rey
Changes — David Bowie
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road — Elton John
ACT IV — BETRAYAL & THE FALL
Peter’s betrayal, the Potters’ deaths, Sirius in Azkaban
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↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺
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the marauders ; tracklist
regulus a. black ; tracklist
golden trio (in the making)
Hᴏᴜsᴇ M.D.
gregory house ; tracklist
James Wilson (in the making)
ᴍᴀᴢᴇ ʀᴜɴɴᴇʀ
newt (in the making)
ᴜɴᴄᴀᴛᴇɢᴏʀɪᴢᴇᴅ
dead poets society ; tracklist
supernatural ; tracklist
six of crows (in the making)
the magnus archives (in the making)
chishiya (in the making)
spencer reid (in the making)
If you want to request a chat, either comment or slide it in my dm's/inbox :))
Masterlist character.ai For requests
Ex Barnes
⛓️ | You're drunk and you call your ex-boyfriend
Bucky wakes up to his ringtone blaring through the room. He groans, picks up his phone, and the bright light blinds him for a second. He thought it was work, but it's not. He freezes when he sees the name on the screen. Yours. For a second, he thinks he’s imagining it. You haven’t called once since the breakup, refusing to speak with him.
He shouldn’t answer. He’s done his best not to look back. He should let it ring out. But he doesn't. His thumb betrays him, and before he can think better of it, he’s pressing the phone to his ear.
“Y/N?”
The sound of your voice hits him like a wave. Soft, slurred, messy around the edges, words spilling over each other. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.
You’re drunk.
Bucky exhales through his nose, rubbing at the bridge of it as the weight of the moment settles. He tries for steady, fails halfway. “Y/N… where are you?”
Roommate Barnes
⛓️ | He's your roommate and comes home late, hurt.
You basically live alone. Yes, you share your flat with James Barens, but he's rarely home. Always gone on some kind of mission. He comes home, stays for two days max, and then leaves again. Now, you wake up from the sound of the front door opening and closing. You look at the clock. 03:26 am. Who the fuck? Bucky was on a work mission and wasn't supposed to come home for at least another week, so… who was in your house?
You silently get out of bed and grab a baseball bat that you have in your closet. You walk to your bedroom door, opening it as quietly as you can, peeking out into the living room. No one. You see the light in the bathroom turn on. You tiptoe over to the bathroom, holding the bat ready to strike. You take a deep breath, readying yourself to meet this intruder. You emerge in the doorway, bat held high, but you were not ready for the sight. James bent over the sink, flooding it with blood. His skin is bruised and flaming red and blue and yellow. A gash over his nose bridge. It looks broken.
You drop the bat, your hands going to your mouth as you gasp.
"James! What the fuck- Wha- Oh my god!"
Enemy Barnes
⛓️ | You're too hurt to walk
The mission was finished, and you were now making your way back to the plane. The others are walking way ahead of you. You limp forward. Having to take a few stops to catch your breath. You're so tired, you've used all your strength. The cut on your calf doesn't help either. You've wrapped your shirt around to stop the bleeding, but it doesn't help the pain that shoots up your whole leg at every step.
Bucky counts the people in front of him, making sure everyone is here. One person is missing. He turns around and sees you leaning against the wall a few meters back. He sighs and walks up to you. You and Bucky weren't exactly fond of each other, but he wasn't about to wait 20 minutes for you to get to the plane. Without saying anything, he picks you up, bridal style. He carries you onto the plane and sits you down in a seat.
J Barnes
⛓️ | damsel in distress
If you could sink into the floor, you would. You were on your way out to the balcony to get some quiet and to get some fresh air, when you were stopped by the director of some big company — a very talkative director. So now, you've been talking to him — or listening to him talk — for about half an hour. All you wanted to do was get away, but every time you were about to leave the conversation, he found a way to haul you back in.
"I'm just going to go get a new glass of champagne," You fake smile and try to get away again
"Nonsense," The director snaps his fingers, "Hey, you! With the champagne! Get over here," He calls out to one of the waitresses walking around serving people. You laugh and thank him awkwardly.
Then you felt a hand sneak around your waist and a presence looming over you behind you.
"Excuse me," It was Bucky Barnes, "I'll have to borrow the miss for a second," He says to the director. The director has no complaints, and Bucky follows you towards the balcony with his hand on your lower back.
You get out, and the cold night air hits you like a prayer being heard. You walk over to the railing and lean against it, taking a deep breath in, feeling the cold sting your lungs.
"You looked like you needed some saving in there," Bucky chuckles, walking over and standing next to you.
Enemy Barnes
⛓️ | your enemy lends you his sweater
It's December. Snow falling from the sky and rosey cheeks.
You're sitting in the living room in Stark Tower, sipping on a cup of hot chocolate, just watching the snow.
Steve, Natasha, and Clint are sitting by the dinner table and playing a game. Thor was out with Sam to buy Christmas presents — something Thor demanded was a must, even though everyone said he didn't have to. And, Tony and Bruce were probably in the lab working on something way too complicated.
Bucky was nowhere to be seen. Which you weren't particularly sad about. He was probably in his room brooding over some romanian word he'd forgotten how to pronounce or something else utterly stupid. Bucky was the only person you just couldn't stand. You weren't sure why you didn't like him, but you didn't really care to find out. He wasn't very fond of you either, so you both just lived in perfect hate.
While you sat enjoying your hot chocolate and the sound of the others playing, suddenly, there was a loud bang, and then the light went out.
A short moment later, Bucky came into the living room.
"What's happening?" He asks. You can't help but roll your eyes.
"The powers out, what does it look like?" You mutter back. He sends you a look.
Tony came through the doors, looking a little bit dishevelled. He cleared his throat.
"Um, we had a little accident in the lab. A small exploration, nothing to worry about. Because of a completely different, non-related reason, the backup generator doesn't work... Me and the green guy are gonna start fixing it right away, but I would recommend finding a warm sweater. There will be no further questions. Thank you." And then he left again.
You all looked a little stunned at each other, but at the same time, you weren't surprised.
Because of the cold weather outside, the heat in the room disappeared quickly. You'd gone to your room to get a sweater, but your door has an electric lock and therefore won't open. You settled on a blanket lying on the couch, but the room got colder and colder until you could see the air you breathed. The blanket wasn't warm enough.
"I can't listen to you clanking your teeth anymore. Just take it," A voice suddenly said. You look up. Bucky. He was holding out a wool sweater for you.
"It's annoying." He adds.
Captain Rodgers
❤️🩹 | you go to Steve for comfort
You had had one hell of a day.
First of all, you had barely slept. Second, your day was packed with meetings and final fittings for different dresses and suits. Third, the fitting went on for what felt like hours. None of the clothes fit correctly, and some of them were just plain ugly. Fourth, the meetings were for nothing, as none of the things you were supposed to discuss got resolved. Meaning, you'd have to have new meetings some other day. Fifth and final thing, you had just finished training with Natasha. Every single punch had been a miss, and every punch Natasha threw had been a hit. You felt like a punching bag.
You just needed a hug. You needed to feel like you could do something right today. You went to the common area of the flat, hoping to find Steve. And you did. He was sitting on the couch, reading a book.
You walk over and crawl into his lap. Your arms go around his waist as your face snuggles into his stomach. Steve held his book with one hand and used the other to caress your hair. You were quite a touchy person, so your cuddling wasn't unusual.
"You okay, sweetheart?" Steve asks, moving your hair out of your face so he can look at you.
Ex Rodgers
❤️🩹 | he's your ex-boyfriend
This was not where you wanted to be.
You were standing in the elevator up to Stark Tower. You knew he would be there, and you knew he wouldn't be happy - neither were you - but you didn't have much of a choice.
Lately, you've gotten weird messages and emails, and something didn't feel right. You'd texted Tony and asked if he could look into it, and he told you to come to the tower so he could check it out. Your creeped-out feeling outweighed your dislike for your ex-boyfriend, so here you were.
The elevator door opened with a "ping!". You walked into the apartment, and surely, there he was. Steve stood by the kitchen island, coffee in hand, and talking to Bruce. The sound of your footsteps made the men look your way, and as Steve's eyes met yours, his face fell. The break-up had been nasty, and you hadn't seen each other since Steve came to your place to get his stuff two months ago. Steve bit his inner cheek and was about to say something when Tony, to your rescue, finally made an appearance.
"Y/n! Right, we had a meeting today," Tony had most certainly forgotten, "Um, just follow me, explain your situation on the way to the lab,"
Jealous god (gets taken down all the time. Trying my best to keep it alive)
💭 | Thor is very, very jealous of Steve
The Stark party was alive around him. The clink of glasses, the shimmer of suits, and glittery dresses. Thor watched from the edge of the room, a glass forgotten in his hand. Across the crowd, Y/n smiled at something Steve said. She laughed and Thor felt entranced, the sound evident even over the loud music.
He forced a scoff, “I don’t care,” he told himself, lips thin. He crossed his arms, clenching his jaw until it ached. Of course, Steve asked first. Of course, she said yes. Not that he'd had any plans to ask her out himself. No plans. None. She could go with anyone she pleased…
The way she looks at him, the way everyone fawns over Captain America like he's the greatest man to ever walk the earth, it made something in him boil. The thought coiled darker at the edges… I hope Steve dies.
Dr. Banner
🔬| overwhelmed
Not only had you been to press conferences for hours, but then Tony held a party. You had hugged and smiled and talked to a lot more people than you were comfortable with, and all you wanted to do was to take off your heels and disappear under your duvet, or even better, back to your lab. Simply put, you weren't the social type.
You knew you couldn't stay out of sight for too long — people being very interested in your new discovery within nanotechnology — but you managed to sneak away for a few minutes. You close the door to the big wardrobe, more a walk-in closet, where all the guests hang their jackets and coats. You let out a tired sigh.
Bruce saw you sneak away. He knew you weren't comfortable in situations like this, so he had kept an eye on you — but in all honesty, when did he not? He walked over to the door and knocked light with his knuckle.
tw: sexual TENTION GOD SO MUCH TENTION, dean is a fucking simp and a fucking bottom <3 enjoy
word count: 1564
Masterlist ao3 wattpad (Should I write a part 2?)
A hunter isn’t supposed to fall for a monster.
But here he is.
Dean and Sam were sweeping through an abandoned building, chasing a shifter. Instead, Dean found you—crouched over the poor soul you’d lured in. His pulse thundered in his ears the second his eyes landed on you.
He doesn’t know how it got this far—or how he’s managed to keep you alive without Sam catching on. He should’ve killed you long ago. That’s what a hunter does. That’s what he was raised to do. But every time he looks at you, his hand refuses to pull the trigger. The truth gnaws at him, though he hates to admit it: everything about you shatters the rules he’s lived by.
“Well, well, well.” The words should have come laced with disgust, but instead they’re soft, almost fond. His gaze lingers on the blood trailing down your fangs, and his throat tightens. For one dangerous heartbeat, he imagines them sinking into his own skin—
Dean clears his throat, tugging at his jacket like he can shake the thought off. “Havin’ fun there?” His boots scrape closer on the concrete floor, eyes flicking from the body at your feet back to you.
It’s wrong. Every bit of this is wrong. But if he’s honest, he doesn’t care.
And that makes him the worst kind of hypocrite.
You stand up, wiping your mouth, but it ends up just smearing the blood more over your face. "Dean Winchester. We meet again,"
Dean's eyes roam your bloody face for a second, his teeth digging into his bottom lip unconsciously, and he swallows again. There was something so very attractive about you covered in blood, whether it was yours or someone else's; it didn't matter much to him.
He takes another step closer to you, the distance between the two of you closing, and you could probably hear the hammering of his heart from how loud it was. His thoughts were loud, too, but he'll deny those all night, even if you could hear every single one of them.
"You know, I've talked to monsters," You say slowly, your eyes moving over his face, "They're scared of you—and your brother. Says no one met you and made it out alive." You've met the brothers many times, and you're still alive. Because of Dean. You click your tongue. "Should I consider myself lucky?"
He takes another slow step forward. There's a smirk pulling the corners of his lips, and he cocks his head to the side as he regards you.
"Lucky," he murmurs, nodding as he eyes the blood staining your face. He's so close now. He could reach out and touch you if he wanted to. He could touch you, and he wants to. "Definitely."
Lucky that your ass is so damn beautiful.
"Lucky that... for some reason, you always miss when you’re shooting at me? Lucky that you keep pointing your brother the wrong way when you're hunting me? Lucky that you always hesitate when you have me in a corner?" You circle him as you speak. "Lucky that you're holding a knife, and I'm this close, but you still haven't made a move... should I keep going?"
Dean's breath hitches in his throat a little as you circle him; there was something almost hypnotizing about it. He's aware of just how close you are to him. He wants to reach out and pull you towards him; he wants to feel your body pressed against his.
He grips the handle of the knife just a bit tighter. "I could kill you in a second if I wanted to," he mutters, and his voice sounds strained. It's a lie, both of you know it's a damn lie.
"But you don't want to," you state, right in his face. He could feel your breath on his cheek, the metallic tang of blood sharp in his nose.
His gaze falls to your face, and it drops lower to your bloody lips. All he can think about is how he wants to feel those against him. His eyes rake over your features, over the blood staining your cheeks, your chin, and he swallows hard.
He's so close to losing control. He shouldn't be thinking these things; he knows that. But damnit, this wasn't fair. You were the enemy, for God's sake!
"I can hear your pulse, Dean." You smile, showing off your sharp, bloody teeth.
Dean's breath hitches again. The sound of your voice saying his name was like velvet; it was so very soft, and just the sound sent a shiver up his spine. You were dangerous, so damn dangerous, and you didn't even realise.
And of course, you could hear his heart rate. It's racing for no reason other than the fact that you were right there in front of him. So close. So damn close.
Suddenly, your hand was squeezing his throat, and his back slammed against a wall. Lifting him slightly up. "I could rip your throat out. Give me one good reason not to."
As his back was slammed against the wall hard, the wind got knocked out of him. The sharp gasp he gave was involuntary, and he couldn't help the way his eyes rolled up to look at you.
He was pinned, he was at your mercy, and damn it, he couldn't think of any damn good reason for you to set him free. Because he didn't want you to set him free.
His heart was hammering faster in his chest, both out of fear and... arousal.
He swallows, his eyes flicking down to your hand on his throat, then back up to your face. He was vulnerable. He couldn't move, couldn't run. You were in control right now, and that thought shouldn't have made him shiver as much as it did.
But he had to answer something
Dean's mind was going haywire as he stared up at you. His heart was hammering against his ribs, the blood in his body rushing south. He was vulnerable, helpless, trapped against the wall, and you could probably feel that damn shiver run through his body.
His voice was quiet when he spoke. "You're bluffing."
"And why would I do that? I don't have anything to gain with you alive," You squeeze a little harder. Then you lick a stripe from his throat to the side of his face. "I can smell your blood," And it smelled so good. You wanted to taste him. You needed to taste him.
Dean's stomach muscles clenched involuntarily. He tried, and failed, to suppress a low, needy sound, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he felt your tongue slide over his skin, a shudder running through his whole frame.
This was bad, this was so damn wrong. He should be shoving you away, trying to get away from you, not getting turned on by this.
You leaned closer, opening your mouth, and he could feel your teeth graze his skin. He should push you away. He shouldn't want this. He shouldn't want you to bite down on him, break the skin, mark him as yours, but God, he wanted it so bad.
Dean's whole body was trembling, his eyes closing as he fought a losing battle with himself. He was so damn weak for you.
And then your teeth pierced his skin, sank into his shoulder. His knees almost buckled at the pain. But he didn't have much time to react because in the next second, a gunshot was heard, and you pushed away from Dean. He sank to the floor. Your leg was bleeding. Dean looked to where the gun had been fired.
Sam.
Sam stood a few feet away, his gun held up in front of him, and his expression was a mix of shock and confusion. Dean's breathing was laboured, his eyes wide as he looked between you and his brother.
He felt dizzy, his shoulder throbbed, he felt weak, and it took everything in him to push himself up to his feet. He's unsteady, his gaze flitting to you and your wounded leg. He's conflicted.
Sam pulled the trigger again, but you moved to the side. You push through the pain in your leg and quickly disappear from the building. Sam rushes to Dean's side.
Dean watched you disappear, a wave of panic washing over him before he was distracted by Sam. His brother is at his side in seconds, checking him over and looking at the blood from the bite mark on his shoulder.
"Dean, Jesus..."
Dean winces as Sam's hand presses against the wound. "M'fine, I'm fine."
"That's gonna leave a scar," Sam grimaced. "You should've called for help. I didn't even know she was here." It was clear on Sam's face that he was irritated that you'd escaped them again. But Dean couldn't concentrate on that. The only thing he managed to think about was how good you'd looked with his blood running down your chin.
Dean grimaces as the pain finally sets in fully, causing him to hiss softly. A scar. He was going to have a reminder of you on his skin forever.
God.
Sam's words are barely even heard. His thoughts were occupied by you. How you'd felt pressed up against him, your teeth marking his skin, the sound of your voice when you'd asked why you shouldn't kill him.
no beta, we die like everyone. Not proofread or anything. written while severely sleep deprived. I refuse to reread this, so I don't even know if this even makes sense as literature, but I crave to post something so... bon appétit <3
word count: 6408
TW: abortion. is any Dean fic ever happy tho?? sam is bestie
masterlist ao3 wattpad
You stood in the crappy motel bathroom, clutching the test in your hand. tears threatened to fall as you watched one line turn into two, your stomach churning.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You and Dean had used protection. You couldn’t do this. how could you raise a child in the life you guys lived? Before you knew it, there was a knock on the bathroom door. “hey, baby? I’m back from the store, I got you some food.” Dean's voice sounded through the door, oblivious to your current state.
"Thank you, B-..." Baby. You couldn't even say the word so shocked were you. But you forced yourself to. Sounding as normal as you could. "-Baby,"
Dean chuckled lightly on the other side of the door. “don’t sound too excited, yeah? you okay in there?”
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just- a bad stomach," You say, flushing the toilet for believability. "I think there was something in that kebab from earlier,"
Dean made a noise of concern, his knuckles tapping against the door gently- trying to get a sense of what was going on in there. "do you need anything? anything i can do? want me to go out and get you tums or medicine or something?"
"I'll listen to you next time," You say. You couldn't tell him. Not yet, at least. "Just go find something we can watch, I'll be out in a second,"
"yeah, you better next time." he muttered on the other side. there was rustling as Dean presumably set the bags down. then the creaking of the bed and the remote clicking as he began to look for something to watch. "better not be too long. food's gonna get cold."
You took a deep breath and looked at yourself in the mirror. God, what we're you going to do... You glanced down at the test one more time. Still two lines. Fuck. If you threw it in the trash, he would see it. You hid it in your toiletry bag. Just for now. You washed your hands and your face, making sure you didn't look red. Luckily, the tears had been of shock, and then they didn't leave much of a mark. Your face was maybe the tiniest bit of puffy, but you could blame the "constipation" if he noticed. You took a deep breath, and then walked out to Dean. Everything was fine.
Dean was sitting on the end of the bed, leaning back against the wall, scrolling through the tv channels. he saw you come out, and looked back over his shoulder. he smiled faintly, noticing the slightest bit of puffiness, but not thinking anything of it. he assumed your "bad stomach" was just making you a little uncomfortable. he set the remote on his lap. "finally. 'm starving here, i need food. you good now?"
"Yeah, I think so," You chuckle and sit down with him. "I wouldn't use that toilet in a while tho," You try to joke, waving your hand in front of your face as if you'd smelled something bad.
Dean snorted, rolling his eyes. he smirked, glancing over at you. "yeah, yeah, i'm sure it's real nice in there." he grumbled. he reached over, grabbing the bags from the convenience store and setting them between the two of you. he began to unpack them, pulling out the candy he'd got you, and his own array of unhealthy junk foods.
You sat up against the headboard and just looked at the TV. Eating a few pieces of candy here and there.
as usual, whenever you weren't saying anything, Dean was the chatty one. he talked in between stuffing his face with gummy bears. "y'know, i found this cool gas station today. they had some of that coffee you like in the mini fridge. m'pretty sure it's the only one i've seen it in all of kansas, so i bought the whole stock-" he went on and on about the gas station, how they also had those little sandwiches that were your favorite. he was rambling just to talk, like usual.
"You're the sweetest, Dean," You smile at him, but you feel really guilty. He didn't deserve that you were keeping this from him. "Thank you,"
Dean hummed, glancing over his shoulder for a moment and giving you a half-smirk. "only the best for you, baby." he muttered casually before going back to eating his gummy bears. he was always like this; always buying you snacks and other things as gifts. he liked the way your face would light up whenever it happened, and the way you'd thank him a million times over.
As the days went by, you started feeling more and more guilty. More and more stressed that he'd find out. And more and more unsure on what to do.
Dean couldn't help but grow suspicious as the days went by. he knew something was off, he could just feel it. he knew you too well, he could sense whenever you were worried or upset. even if you tried to act normal, he could see right through you. he knew you like the back of his hand. every day he would ask if you were okay, and all you'd say was that it was your "stomach problems". he was starting to get annoyed at your lie.
You'd now gone a month knowing you were pregnant and not saying anything. You'd hoped it would fix itself a little, but so far, it hadn't. If you wanted it gone, and you did, you'd have to do it as soon as possible as you were reaching the time limit. But you didn't know how. It would be pretty much impossible to do on your own, as you didn't have a licence and couldn't borrow the car... You, Dean, and Sam had just packed out in a new motel in a new town. You had to do something. Before it was too late. You waited until Dean left to buy some food. The door closed, the car turned on, and drove off. You waited a little bit more —just to make sure Dean was gone— before you spoke. "Um, Sam...?"
Sam was sitting on his bed, on his laptop and doing god knows what. he glanced over once you spoke, looking over at you. he raised his eyebrows slightly as you said his name, noticing the slightly nervous and unsure tone in your voice. "yeah? what's up, al?"
"Um, I need... I need you help-" That was how far you managed to get before you broke down. It hurt. Too much. And you felt so guilty.
Sam saw you start to break down in front of him, and he was immediately concerned. his expression changed instantly from his normal calm and relaxed self, to worried and almost scared. he placed his laptop to the side and quickly got up from his bed. "hey, whoa, hey, slow down- what's going on? what's wrong?!" he asked quickly, stepping close to you. he placed a gentle hand on your arm and looked you up and down, checking for any signs of physical harm
"I need your help with- you can't say anything- I- " You didn't know where to start, how to say it. You just cried.
Sam was panicking just as much as you were. it was rare to ever see you in this sort of state, so this was completely unlike you. he didn't know how to handle it, but he knew it wasn't good. "hey, hey, breath. slow down, okay? just take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong." he soothed, rubbing your arm gently. he was desperate to know what was wrong.
You took a few deep breaths and managed to calm down enough to say with a shaking lip. "...I'm pregnant,"
Sam felt his blood run cold in his veins as soon as the words left your mouth. of all the things that he expected you to say, that was not one of them. he just stared for a moment, completely thrown off. but his worry and concern quickly returned, and he looked you up and down again, looking for any signs of... whatever signs he was supposed to be looking for. "wait, hang on- you're serious?" Sam asked, still half-denying it.
You nod and wipe at your neverending tears.You show him the pregnancy test you’d taken the month before. The two lines as red as ever.
Sam just stared at you, still trying to process the news. when he registered that you were completely serious, that this wasn't some kind of sick joke that you were playing, his eyes went wide and his jaw slack. he swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly becoming dry. "holy shi-" he cursed under his breath. he didn't know what to say, he honestly didn't see this coming. "how- long have you known?" he asked, a hint of disbelief in his voice.
"A month..." You hands are shaking. You are shaking. You were feeling so, so guilty. Sam could see how it was tearing on you. The puzzle pieces fell together, and he understood why you'd been acting a little off for a while.
Sam was absolutely dumbfounded. he couldn't believe you'd been hiding this for a month. a whole month. why had you kept it a secret for so long? and how had you been able to hide it for that long? the only thing he could do for the moment was pull you into a tight hug, holding you close against him. he was completely conflicted. he wasn't sure what to say or do. and he was worried about what Dean was gonna say and do when he found out.
You hug him back. Tears spilling from your eyes again. You really needed that hug. You'd needed that hug for a month now. Needed someone to tell you everything was going to be fine and that they were going to fix it.
Sam kept hugging you tight, gently rubbing a hand up and down your back. he felt you crying again, and it felt like a knife stabbing him in the heart. he couldn't stand seeing you this upset and devastated, especially over something like this. he knew you must've felt so guilty for keeping it a secret for so long. but he couldn't blame you for that. if he was in your position, he would've done the Same. "shh... it's okay..." he soothed, his chest starting to ache at the sound of your sobs.
It pained you to say it, but you did anyway. "I need- need you to drive me to the clinic," You say between sobs. You weren't sure if you wanted to get rid of it anymore, but you knew it was the best thing for the baby. You didn't want to bring a baby into this life into hunting. But you also knew Dean wasn't capable of leaving the hunting life. And you didn't want to raise it on your own. So this, was your only option.
the words almost felt like a punch in the gut. Sam had a feeling that's what you were hinting at, but it was still difficult to hear. all Sam wanted was to take the pain and sadness away from you. he pulled you impossibly closer to him and tightened his grip. he swallowed the lump in his throat, struggling to respond for a moment. he knew it was the best and logical thing to do, but he didn't like thinking about it. "a-are you sure, y/n?"
"No..." You sniff. It was the most honest thing you'd said, and it hurt so much. "but it's what's best... for all of us,"
Sam just held you tight, his heart feeling like it was getting squeezed. you were so conflicted, and it was so painful to hear you say it. but he knew you were right. you were the most logical of the three of you. you would always sacrifice yourself and what you needed for the greater good. you were selfless, too selfless sometimes in Sam's opinion. and that's why this was so painful. you were doing what you thought was best. "okay... i'll take you..." he whispered.
...
"We can't tell Dean..." You whisper, "It would break him..." You knew Dean had always wanted a family, but you also knew that Dean wasn't capable of leaving the hunting life behind.
Sam's heart ached. he hated the thought of keeping this a secret from his brother, but deep down he knew you were right. you knew how sensitive Dean was, how badly he wanted to have a family. and Sam knew it would absolutely shatter him to know that you were pregnant, and then lose the baby. Sam couldn't bear the thought of seeing his older brother so broken like that. he stayed silent for a moment, holding you close. the silence was a simple answer to your statement. he wasn't going to tell Dean.
You wiped your tears and did your best to calm down. Dean was coming back any minute, and you couldn't look like this then. The motel room was silent as you and Sam waited for Dean so you could borrow the car. You'd come up with an excuse as to why you needed to borrow it, so now it was just to wait. Ten minutes later, he parked in front of the motel room. You took a deep breath. You'd kept it a secret for a month, you could keep it a secret a few more minutes.
Sam held you for a few more seconds before pulling back, looking you up and down. he cupped your cheeks and used his thumbs to gently wipe at your tear stains. he knew you didn't want Dean to see you so upset, so he wanted to get you as good as he could before he stepped inside. he didn't say anything, he just gave a reassuring, small nod. he was ready to get his brother and the car keys so you could drive to the clinic, and he would be by your side the whole way.
Dean came into the motel, and your heart broke when you saw him. The fact that he didn't know what you and Sam were going to do. You wanted to cry again, but you kept it in. Sam went to get the keys.
Dean walked inside with the usual skip in his step, holding a bag of greasy food. a part of him was glad to have a break from the crap motels and the gross food. he walked over to the table and set the food down, grabbing a burger for himself. he was in a good mood, for once. he was excited to kick back, put something on the tv, and spend time with his best friend and his girlfriend. if only he knew what was actually going on.
"yo, y/n. i got some better-looking grub this time." he called, not looking up from his burger yet. he was focused on the greasy food in front of him. he was too excited about the fact for the moment to notice your red-and-puffy eyes, or the fact that you and Sam were looking so serious.
"Hey, Dean, could I borrow the car for an hour?" Sam asked. "Me and y/n need to check out something on the abduction scene," He used the case as an excuse.
Dean lifted his head up from his burger, looking over to you and Sam. "you do? it's almost sundown." Dean muttered, raising an eyebrow. he was a little annoyed by the fact that you two wanted to go out when he just got food.
"We just wanna do it while it's still fresh. Don't want it to disappear with the wind or risk some teenagers destroying the scene," Sam said.
Dean rolled his eyes slightly, taking a bite of his burger. he knew Sam could be just as anal about solving cases as he could. and he knew you were too much of an angel to say no. "alright, fine." he grumbled, pulling his keys out of his pocket and tossing them to Sam. "just make sure you're not too long."
"We'll be back as soon as possible," Sam said and caught the keys in the air. Dean thought it was a little weird that you needed to leave so soon. Especially when he just came back with food. But he knew Sam and how he was during cases, and so he didn't really question it much.
Dean grumbled something unintelligible under his breath, taking another bite of his burger. he knew how you and Sam worked by now. you just couldn't stop until you'd solve the case or found what you were looking for. it was admirable, but could be really annoying when you had plans for the evening. he was just hoping that by some miracle, you two would actually come back quickly this time.
You went out to the car without saying anything. You fastened the seat belt and tried your best to still keep it together as Dean could still see you through the window. But as soon as you were out of the motel parking lot, the tears swelled again. Quietly. Regrettably.
Sam could see the tears swelling up in your eyes as he put the car in drive, pulling out of the parking lot. he saw how your bottom lip quivered as you were trying to hold back the tears, and his heart ached again. he hated seeing you like this. he wanted nothing more than to stop the car on the side of the road and pull you into his arms, but he knew time was of the essence right now. he had to get you to the clinic as fast as possible before you broke down again.
The ride to the clinic was quiet. When you walked in, you were handed a forum and had to fill it out. It took some time as the tears would stop, and it was difficult to see. Sam could see how much this hurt you. You didn't really want it, and he started to question if this was right for you. If you should go through with this.
Sam could see the pain on your face when you filled out the form, the tears streaming down your cheeks again. he knew how guilty you felt about all of this, how you felt like you didn't really have another option. but the more he watched you trying to hold back tears, the more he started to question if this was the right thing to do. he wanted nothing more than to stop this, grab you, and take you away from the clinic. but he knew that was selfish.
After about 20 minutes, you had managed to fill out the forum. You went to the front desk and handed it over.
Sam held your hand through the whole process. Wiped your tears and kissed your hairline. "It's fine," "You're okay," "It's over soon," "You're doing so good," He repeated over and over as many times as you needed. And you needed it. When you were done, you were told to stay for half an hour just so the doctors could see that everything was fine. You lay on the hospital bed, empty. You looked almost grey. Tear-stained cheeks and a blank face. Very, very quiet.
Sam hated every second of this. the procedure was over, the baby that he knew you wanted was gone, and you looked so empty. so broken. he stood by your side the entire time as the doctors finished up and told you to stay for 30 minutes. he held your hand, wiping away the continuous tears that seemed to never stop going down your face. after a moment of sitting with you and seeing you so broken, Sam couldn't take it anymore. he carefully climbed up onto the bed next to you.
He held you tightly for the next 30 minutes. When the time had passed, the doctors said that you could leave if you wanted. But you stayed for another 20 minutes. Sam holding you the entire time.
Sam held you the entire time, his arms wrapped tightly around you and holding you close. he whispered to you the entire time, trying his best to soothe and comfort you. he whispered over and over how everything was going to be okay, that you will get through this, just keep breathing. he kissed your temple and caressed your back, wanting nothing more than to take away all the pain and guilt you were clearly feeling.
How could you face Dean? After what you'd done, how could you ever face him again? You hated yourself.
Sam noticed how you seemed to feel guilty. he knew you were blaming yourself for all of this. he could see that you hated yourself for what had just happened. he held you tighter, gently pulling your face up to look at him. "listen to me," he said, looking into your eyes. "whatever you may think right now; you did nothing wrong. i know you're feeling guilty. i know that you hate yourself for what happened. but you did nothing wrong, y/n. you have no reason to hate yourself or blame yourself."
"But why does it hurt so much then..?”
Sam's heart ached as you spoke. it hurt so much because you had just lost part of yourself. you had just lost a future that you and Dean had almost had. and it hurt like hell. "it hurts because it's a damn painful thing to go through," Sam muttered, gently running a hand through your hair. "but, look at it this way; the alternative was bringing a child into this life. into this goddamn hunting life. do you really think that's what this baby would have wanted?"
"No... no, I would never want that for my baby," You whisper, your hand ghosts over your stomach. Almost scared to touch it.
Sam saw your hand ghost over your stomach, not wanting to touch it. he let out a sigh and grabbed your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. he gently squeezed your hand, lifting it so that it was resting on your stomach. "I know you wouldn't," Sam whispered in response. he gently stroked his thumb against the back of your hand and your stomach. "and you made the right choice. you did the right thing, y/n. you'll be okay. everything will be alright."
"...Will the hurting stop...?" You sniff. "Tell me I'll be fine,"
Sam heard your soft sniffle, his heart aching again. he hated to hear how broken you sounded, how much pain you were feeling. he gently wrapped his other arm around you again, holding you impossibly close to him. "the hurting will stop," Sam whispered, tightening his grip around you. he kept one hand on your stomach and the other around your waist. "I promise you, everything will be fine. I'll be with you every damn step of the way, and you'll be okay. you'll be alright."
You nodded and took a deep breath, "Dean is going to get suspicious if we're gone for longer..." You whisper. You were so strong. Almost too strong for your own good.
Sam heard you mention how soon Dean would get suspicious, and you were completely right. they had been gone too long already, and Dean was bound to get suspicious soon. he sighed a bit in response, and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his arms still wrapped around you. "i know," he muttered, hating the thought of leaving you so vulnerable and broken. he could see how much strength it was taking for you to keep yourself together, and he loathed the thought of having to leave you so weak like this.
But you got up. And Sam got up. And you walked to the car and drove back to the motel. Back to Dean. And you wiped your tears and smiled and laughed like everything was fine. And it was unnerving to watch. You were too strong, Sam thought. You ate your burger when you got back, and you sat beside Dean, and if you looked at your face, there wasn't even a hint of sadness on it. Dean would never know.
Sam hated seeing you have to pretend like everything was fine. he hated seeing you act like everything was normal and nothing had happened. he knew you were way too strong, which wasn't a good thing in this situation. you shouldn't have to act like nothing had happened, like you weren't feeling so broken. it wasn't healthy, and it was a pain to see you hide your pain. he could see how damn convincing you looked, how effortlessly you would laugh and talk. but he could also see how emotionless you looked underneath it all. and he hated it.
But the act didn't last long. As the days went by, your demeanour changed. 180 degrees. Sam knew why. Dean didn't. It started small, then became worse and worse. You feigned away from Dean's touch. You looked tired. You didn't sleep. You ate less. You were sad. You looked almost colourless and grey. You spoke less. You lie in bed all day. You didn't join hunts. It was impossible to deny that something was very wrong. Dean tried to talk to you about it, but you avoided him. Didn't answer. Didn't touch him. nothing. Dean couldn't understand what had happened. He went to Sam, asking for advice. Help. Sam knew why. And he knew he couldn't tell Dean... but you were getting too depressed. He couldn't watch this for much longer.
it was so damn painful to watch. it had been a week, and you didn't seem to be getting any better. if anything, you seemed worse. more and more colourless. more and more tired. more and more broken. Sam could see how badly you were deteriorating, and it made his heart ache. when Dean had approached him, asking for advice, he didn't know what to say. he had promised you he wouldn't tell, so he couldn't tell Dean what the reason was for why you were so damn depressed.
But as more days went by and you had as good as stopped eating, he couldn't take it anymore. You were hurting so much. And Dean was hurt by watching you hurt. And he was stressed and confused and tired that he couldn't do anything to help you. That you wouldn't let him help you. Sam went to Dean. Nervous. Scared of the reaction. Sad for both you and Dean. He'd made a promise but he couldn't keep it anymore. Not when you were like this.
Sam's heart was feeling very conflicted. he knew he had made a promise, but he hated seeing you like this. and he hated seeing Dean so confused and lost, wondering why you were hurting so badly and why you wouldn't let him help. you were both suffering, and Sam felt like he was stuck in-between you two. he knew that telling Dean the truth would be breaking a promise to you, but the alternative would be to watch you both suffer for god knows how much longer.
"Dean..." Sam went to Dean, whispering so you wouldn't hear. "We need to talk..."
Dean saw the look on Sam's face when he walked up to him. the worried and guilty look on his younger brother's face made Dean feel uneasy. he knew the look on Sam's face meant that this was important, and he knew it wasn't good news. "yeah..? what's up?" he responded in a hushed tone as well, making sure you didn't overhear from the next room.
"...outside," Sam said.
Dean's expression darkened a bit more at Sam's response, the tone of Sam's voice making him anxious. he knew this wasn't going to be good, that Sam was trying to hide something that was clearly bad. it was written all over his face. and he knew it was related to you, considering you were sitting in the room, depressed and seemingly emotionless. "alright..." he mumbled, pushing open the door and walking outside with his younger brother. the crisp night air greeted him as he stepped outside.
Sam sighed, running his hands over his face. He was still unsure about what to do. Should he tell Dean? Yes. He couldn't take it anymore. Watching you rotting away in your guilt and hurt.
Sam's nervous and guilty demeanor had Dean growing more and more uneasy as well. he watched Sam's hands run over his face, his face twisted into a mask of nerves and worry. "what the hell is going on, Sam? you're making me nervous here." he questioned, shifting his weight from foot to foot, waiting for Sam to speak.
"I promised her not to tell you, but I can't keep looking at her like that," Sam said.
Dean grew even more anxious and suspicious as Sam spoke, raising an eyebrow. "not to tell me what? Sam, you're starting to scare me here, c'mon, just spit it out."
Sam sighed, looked away, them met Dean's gaze. "She was pregnant..."
Dean was floored as the words left Sam's mouth. he hadn't seen that one coming, that was for sure. but it explained a hell of a lot, including why you'd been acting so strange. he didn't say anything for a moment, just processing what Sam had revealed to him. he was stunned silent.
Dean stayed silent for a moment, completely frozen. his mouth was agape and he couldn't form any words to respond. Sam's revelation had taken the wind right out of him. "w-... what..? she was...?" Dean muttered, dumbfounded. he didn't expect Sam to say those words in a million years.
"When we borrowed you car the other day... we went to a clinic..." Sam felt guilty for breaking his promise, but at the Same time, he felt 1000 pounds lighter.
Dean still didn't respond right away. he felt a wave of nausea wash over his entire body, suddenly feeling like he was going to throw up. "a clinic..." he finally choked the words out, his heart breaking as the realization of what you had to go through became clearer in his head. he could tell that Sam felt guilty, and he couldn't even care about Sam breaking a promise at this point. he was too lost in his thoughts and the sudden nausea in his stomach to even be mad at his younger brother.
Dean could put the pieces together in his head, slowly understanding what you had gone through. he felt a wave of sympathy towards you, and a wave of anger towards himself. he should be there for you, not standing outside with Sam right now, hearing the news from him instead of you. he knew that you were going through hell right now, and all he wanted to do was go to you and comfort you and be there for you. but he just stood there like a goddamn idiot, speechless and numb.
"She-.." Sam found it difficult to keep it together when he remembered the look on your face when you filled out the forum. "She didn't want to... but it was for the best..."
as Sam began to explain, telling him more on how you’d had an abortion, Dean felt a whole wave of emotions fill his chest. he knew that you probably didn't want to bring a baby into this hunter's life, he knew how risky and dangerous that would be. but it still hurt to hear, it still hurt to know that you had to go through all of that pain. "god..." Dean couldn't form any more words. he could only imagine what you were going through, and how heartbroken you had to be.
"She was scared you'd get sad, or hurt, or angry, I-... I'm so sorry," Sam said. Dean couldn't hold back his own tears. You'd been pregnant. With his baby. And now it was gone. And you were sad. Blaming yourself for making a decision. Dean barged back inside the motel room and over to you. He couldn’t fathom how much you were hurting, but he wanted to be there for you. He always wanted to. He took you in his arms, holding you tightly to him. You tried to push him off. You'd been avoiding his touch for days. It made you nauseous with guilt. But he held you tighter. "I know," He said. "I'm so sorry you had to do that. I should have been with you. I know... I know... I'm so sorry," Dean repeated.
Dean held you in his arms and refused to let go. he couldn't stand the fact that you had been in pain and he wasn't there to comfort you. and now, as he touched you and you pushed him away, his whole heart ached. he held you tighter when you tried to push him away, and his heart broke even more. but he didn't let go, he knew that you needed to be held by him. he knew that you were hurting and struggling and guilty, but he wasn't going to let you push him away. he repeated he was sorry over and over again, as that was the only word that could explain how guilty he felt.
You stopped resisting him when he said he knew. You broke down, crying, shaking, trembling. It hurt so much. You regretted it. "I'm sorry," You sob. You didn't know if you said it to Dean or your unborn baby. "I'm sorry,"
Dean's heart broke even more as you finally broke down in his arms. the guilt and pain in your words ripped his heart in two, and he held you tighter than ever. he hated that you were apologizing to him, for anything. he knew that the one person you had to apologize to was yourself. "don't apologize," Dean said quietly, still holding you close. he buried his face in your hair, holding your trembling body against his strong one. he never wanted to let you go.
The next few days went over quickly. You started eating again, and you didn't avoid Dean. You still looked colourless and tired, but it was an improvement.
Dean watched as the following days went by, as you started to eat again and stopped avoiding his touch. he could tell that you were still guilty and hurting, that you were probably tired and empty most of the time. but seeing you start to eat, and seeing you not avoid his touch, it was like a breath of relief for him. he knew that you were on your way to being better, on his way to healing, and he was more than willing to help you every step of the way.
Dean's heart ached again at your words. he knew that you should've told him about the baby, and he wished so badly that he could've been there for you when you had gotten the procedure. but he also knew that you probably would've said no, if you told him first. you would've thought that it wasn't what he really wanted, or that he would resent you once he found out. Dean reached out to hold you close, pulling you up so that your face was on his chest. he ran a gentle hand through your hair, trying to sooth you the best he could. "I know, I know you're sorry. but you don't have to be. you were just scared. and I don't blame you for that,”
“I should've told you," You whisper shakily as you laid in bed that night. "You should've had a say in it... I'm so sorry,"
"I wanted... I wanted to keep it," You whisper. It was the first time you'd said it out loud, and it hurt because it was true. "But I just... we can't bring a child into this life, it's unfair..."
Dean's heart squeezed at your confession that you wanted to keep the baby. he knew that deep deep down, you had wanted to keep the baby, that you would've loved and cared for that baby. but you were right, they couldn't bring a baby into this life, not with how dangerous everything was. it would've been unfair. "I know," Dean muttered into your hair, holding you even tighter. he understood why you made the decision you made, and he couldn't blame you for it. it was the smart and safe choice, but that didn't make it any less painful.
It was quiet for a while. "Do you think..." You whisper. "Do you think you'll ever be able to stop..?"
Dean fell silent as you spoke, a tight feeling growing in his chest. he knew exactly what you meant. you were asking if he would ever be able to stop hunting, and bringing a baby into the lifestyle that he lived. he hated how his first thought was no. he hated that he couldn't just immediately say yes. and he was ashamed that he had to actually think about it. he hated that he could never fully answer that question, no matter how badly he wanted to say yes.
His hesitation was answer enough. You knew he couldn't. Not that he didn't want to, but he just couldn't. This life was all he knew. You leaned forward and kissed him. It was the first time in three weeks that your lips met. And Dean knew that it was goodbye.
Dean's heart thumped in his chest when your lips met his for the first time in weeks. he'd been craving your touch, your kiss, even just the feel of you under his hands. he was so desperate for love and affection and a feeling of home. but he could feel the sadness and grief in your kiss. it felt like a goodbye. he knew that this was over. that you were breaking up with him. Dean's heart broke and shattered in his chest. he knew that this was his fault. that he could never give you what you wanted, and you wanted a future that he couldn't give you. he knew your relationship was over, and he knew it was all his fault for not being able to give you the things he knew you deserved
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rodgers, Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner, Sam Winchester, Spencer Reid, Gregory House
If you want to request a chat, either comment or slide it in my dm's/inbox :))
Masterlist For requests
Marvel bots °✿,*
Sam Winchester
💋 || Sam wants to kiss you
Sam was drunk. At least a bit. And now he was stumbling over to your room. You and him had had a thing going on, but… he was still stuck on Jessica. So nothing had happened.
Sam knocked on your door. You shuffled out of your bed and opened it. The second you do, you're pushed inside your room, turned around, and pushed against the door. Sam's hands were cupping your chees, his flushed face too close to yours. Your breath was knocked out of you.
"please" He begs, his lips almost brushing yours,
Sam Winchester
📖 || research
Here’s an improved, smoother version with better flow, clearer pacing, and stronger tone while keeping your original meaning and voice:
You’ve worked with the brothers for a few years now. You’d joined them after they helped you take down a wendigo. You’d been hurt in the process, and they’d insisted you travel with them until you were “back to life”—because you traveled alone, and that wasn’t safe. You were supposed to leave once you recovered, but somehow, that never happened. You just…fit.
Now you were in a small town in Indiana, and nothing made any sense. Every disappearance was different. Every victim was different. Every so-called sighting contradicted the last. For days, you’d been hunched over books, trying to force a pattern to appear. After the accident, long distances were brutal on your leg, so research became your job while the guys went out in the field. You were a damn good shot, but that meant nothing if you couldn’t keep up with the monster.
They’d gotten back an hour ago with nothing but greasy takeout and tired expressions. Sam had grabbed a book and sat beside you, settling into the familiar rhythm of research. Dean, however, had decided he’d earned a break and disappeared to the nearest bar.
You wiped your fingers on your jeans before turning another page, then pressed your forehead into your hands as the words blurred together.
“Find anything?” you sighed.
“No…” Sam’s eyes flicked up to you—lingering just a second too long, though you didn’t notice. “You?”
Spencer Reid
🔎 || Spencer is woken by you banging on his door...
Spencer Reid woke up by the sound of banging on his door. He looked at the clock on his nightstand, 3am. He tried to ignore it, thinking it might be his neighbour trying to open the wrong door again.. but it just kept going. With a sigh, he takes his glasses and swings his legs to the floor, and walks out. He opens the door and is shocked to see you standing there. Small, frail, witg tears and bruises on your face,*
"Oh my god!" He exclaims, "Y/n, what the hell have happened?"
Spencer Reid
🔎 || Panic attack
Spencer was at the round table when the power went out. It took him a minute before he remembered you. You, who had been kidnapped and tortured in a dark room. You, who were afraid of the dark because it brought you back there. The second he remembered, he shot up, took the flashlight off his belt, and ran out to the bull pen where he had seen you just moments before.
He quickly ran his flashlight over the bull pen as he made his way down the stairs, but couldn't see you. "Shit…"
Gidoen, your uncle, came running into the bull pen as well. He'd been the one to save you when you had been taken.
"Where's Alice Olivia?" He said worried,
"I don't know, I-" Spencer began, but they could hear murmuring and sniffs from somewhere in the room. Spencer bent down and looked under your desk. There you were. Knees all the way up to your chest, eyes closed, hands covering your ears. You're hyperventilating, your cheeks wet from tears.
"She's here," He quickly says to Gideon before he looks back at you. "Hey… hey, Alice Olivia, look here. Look at me."
link 1: Gregory House or link 2: Gregory House
🩻 || tw: sui€idal
You had been acting weird lately, but today had to take the cake. Sure, you were always sarcastic, but the last week you'd been more… irritated. But today, you'd suddenly flipped, and you were as kind and sweet as the sweetest chocolate. But your mood swings were none of House's concern.
He went to check out at the front desk when Wilson came-
"Hey, {{user}} told me to give you this. Said she couldn't find you," Wilson hands him a letter.
House gives Wilson a weird look, but accepts it anyway. He takes the letter and opens it. He doesn't need to read more than two words before the puzzle pieces fall into place. The second Greg understood what was going on, he was running up those stairs. He didn't care how much his leg hurt. He needed to get to the roof.
The roof had been his place for many years, but he stopped going there after Stacy. After you started working at Princeton-Plainsboro, it had become your place. Now, you were standing on the ledge, looking down at your feet, your sight blurry.
You get startled by the door suddenly swinging up. You meet Greg's gaze.
"Wait-" He says quickly. He moves slowly, carefully — like someone who tries to get close to a wild, scared animal.
Greg House
🩻 || after Kutner
You had been sitting at home when you got a call from Cuddy.
"Hey, what's up?" You ask. Cuddy sighs at the other end.
"I think... I think you should come here. One of House's coworkers died a few days ago and now he's obsessing over it." She told you about what had happened to Kutner and how House now thinks it's a murder. You rushed to the hospital.
Cuddy knew House. Wilson knew House. Even if he said he wasn't sad or affected by it, he was. You knew that too. The only difference between you three, was that you were the only one that could make him admit it. That could make him open up and feel his feelings.
You got to the hospital and made your was right to his office. The second he saw you, you could already see his eyes tearing up.
"No," He said. "No, you leave. I won't let you do your emotional mumbo jumbo on me. I'm fine."
James Wilson
🩻 || emotionally vulnerable
"I'm so sorry" You whisper as you wrap your arms around his neck. After Amber, Cuddy had called you with the news, and you'd booked the first plane back to New Jersey. Wilson was your best friend. You'd never let him go through something like this alone.
You made it clear you were going to stay for a while. You'd do the cooking, the cleaning, the rearrangement he wanted done. Everything he needed so all he had to do, was get through.
You moved in to the guest room, emptying your suitcase into the dresser. Then you made dinner that you ate in front of the TV —the sofa was comfier then the chairs— then you talked. Talked for hours. He cried, you cried for him, and you comforted each other.
You held him. Held him so close. Then... he kissed you.
7 Minutes in Heaven ✿ - Lee Minho | Lee Know x reader
requested by @skz-crumbs
Sorry it took so long babe (/´Д｀)/ I have no excuse i'm just lazy...
Anyway, I hope you like it <3
word count: 1620
(how many hidden stray kids song titles can you find? ;) )
masterlist ao3 wattpad
You waited outside the classroom door for the teacher to call you in. To say you were nervous would be an understatement: a whole new school, new class, and new teachers. You didn’t know anyone here… How would you survive?
You took a deep breath, listening to the teacher's words, waiting for your cue to come into the class.
When you heard the teacher call you, you stepped into the classroom and introduced yourself quickly. The teacher told you to pick an empty desk, but it wasn’t much of a choice as there was only one vacant seat.
You ended up sitting beside a guy at the back. He was reading a manga under his desk. Cute.
(You wondered what he was reading. It looked like ‘Haikyuu’, and you felt the fangirl in you wake up. Maybe that could be an icebreaker?)
—
Lee Minho didn’t pay attention to the teacher's speech about how there was a new student joining today. He was too absorbed in his manga. But that was until you stepped into the room. He looked up as he heard the door open, and Minho felt his heart drop to his stomach. He had never seen a more beautiful creature.
He felt himself staring when you started to walk towards him and forced his eyes back down to his manga. You sat down beside him. He should talk to you, right? This was the perfect opportunity to start a conversation… but he didn’t know how to talk to girls. Fuck. What to say? What to say?
Minho used the rest of class trying to find out how to start the conversation with you, and when he’d figured out the perfect opening line and hyped himself up enough to look at you… It was too late. As lunch began, you were swarmed by the rest of the class. You were new. Making you automatically popular. Minho huffed and walked over to Han Jisung, his best friend, and started to eat his lunch.
—
But as lunch came, you got swarmed with people. Everyone wanted you to sit with them, and be their friend, and share their food. You had not anticipated this. What was happening?
You ended up sitting in the middle of a big circle in the middle of the classroom. Not really, but it was what it felt like. You nodded and smiled as people talked over themselves. You didn’t catch a single name.
You craned your neck to look through the sea of people, trying to find your deskmate. You wanted to talk to him. See what he was reading. Catch his name. You saw him sitting by the window, chatting with a friend.
“You’re gonna come, right?” A voice snapped you out of it.
“Huh?” You ask
“To my party tonight. It’s going to be so much fun! Oh, you have to come!” She begged
“O-oh, um.. sure,” You smiled
Everyone around you cheered. This felt weird.
—
Minho was staring at you while he ate, he didn’t pay attention to what Jisung was saying.
“Hey!” Jisung snapped in front of his face, “Stop looking at the new girl and listen to me,” ”Nah,” Minho answered lazily
“Come to Sana’s party with us. Chan got invited, and he can sneak us in,” Jisung said, “We can become relevant.”
“Nah..” Minho muttered, taking a bite of his sandwich. He looked at you again, you looked a bit uncomfortable. “I don’t care about being relevant,”
Jisung groaned in annoyance and let his head fall to the desk. “C’mon, man!”
“Be for real. We’re just going to end up standing in a corner anyway,” Minho sighs and looks back at you. “Why bother going?”
With his head still resting on the table, Jisung turns and looks up at Minho. He follows his gaze, landing on you. Jisung immediately understands.
“She’s probably going to be there,” He coos
“W-what?” Minho stutters back, feeling his ears go red
“The new girl. You think she’s pretty right?” Jisung smiles teasingly at Minho, “She’s probably going to be there.”
“N-no, I-”
“You could talk to her,”
“Don’t be stupid-”
“Come oooooon” Jisung whines and begs
Minho sits there and grumbles for a while. He knows Jisung won’t quit until he’s got his way.
“…fine“ Minho groans in defeat, “But only for an hour,”
Jisung punches the air in victory.
—
Time skip. At the party.
“Come on, y/n!” A girl you didn’t remember the name of called out, “Play with us,” She held up the beer bottle
You hovered near the edge of the group, your cup of soda already warm in your hands. The room was packed, music loud, bodies crammed together on mismatched cushions and couches. You hadn't expected the party to be this much. You smiled awkwardly.
“What’s the game?” you asked.
“Spin the bottle!” she sing-songed. “Seven minutes in heaven rules.”
Oh. Oh.
Before you could think of a graceful way to back out, someone tugged at your arm and pulled you down into the circle. The room spun a little as you sat. You felt every pair of eyes on you for a moment too long.
You weren’t sure if it was the party or the nerves making your skin feel too warm.
And then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw him.
—
Minho was about to turn around and leave. He regretted that he didn’t pretend he’d been ssick.
“This was a mistake,” he muttered under his breath as he stepped into the too-loud living room. Chan closed the back door behind him. He scanned the crowd, awkward and stiff in the oversized hoodie he’d thrown on last-minute.
“Don’t be dramatic,” Jisung said beside him, practically buzzing with excitement. “Look! This place is stacked.”
Minho didn’t respond. His eyes were already drifting toward the circle forming in the middle of the room. A bunch of people on the floor. A bottle in the center.
And you. Sitting right there, looking half-lost and like you wanted to vanish into the floorboards.
His heart dropped somewhere into his stomach.
“You’re welcome,” Jisung said smugly, following Minho’s gaze. “Now come on, hyung. We’re joining.”
“I’m not sitting there,” Minho grumbled. “That’s stupid.”
But he was already being pulled by the sleeve of his hoodie. Jisung shoved him gently into an open spot on the floor and plopped down beside him, beaming like he’d just orchestrated a K-drama plot twist.
Minho caught your eyes. You gave him a small, unsure smile.
His ears went red.
—
Someone shrieked as the bottle landed on two people who clearly weren’t expecting it. Laughter followed. The two were pushed down the hallway to the closet while the rest of the group counted down obnoxiously.
“I hate this game,” someone muttered.
You were starting to agree.
But then, a few rounds later, the bottle was handed to Minho.
—
Minho stared at the empty bottle in his lap like it was a live grenade. He should just spin it. No big deal. Totally random.
Except it wasn’t. Not really. Because all he could think was what if it lands on you.
He spun.
The room went quiet.
The bottle spun faster than he meant it to. Then slowed. Slower. Slower...
It stopped.
Pointing straight at you.
Oh, fuck.
Minho’s entire brain blanked. He didn’t even hear the noise around him. People cheered (mostly because you, the new girl, had gotten chosen), laughed, and someone started to chant “Closet! Closet!”
He didn’t move until Jisung smacked him on the back and whispered, “Dude. GO.”
—
Your heart was thudding painfully as you stood up. People were pushing you gently toward the hallway. You barely made eye contact with anyone, least of all Minho, who followed behind you with the stiff, stunned walk of someone heading to their own funeral.
The door opened. Someone whispered something like “Who invited that loser anyway?” and then the door shut.
Dark.
—
The closet was small and kind of smelled like detergent. You didn’t know where to stand, so you leaned awkwardly against the wall. Your head bumped into a shelf.
“Sorry,” Minho mumbled beside you.
“It’s okay,” you said quietly.
A beat passed.
Another.
If this awkward silence kept going, you were going to combust.
“I, um… do you- I saw you reading Haikyuu earlier. Do you like it?” You asked.
“Yeah, I-it’s my favorite,” He answered, relieved they you broke the silence. He’s also relieved the room is dark, so you can’t see how red his ears are.
“Really?” You kept the conversation going, “Mine too! My favorite is Hinata.”
“Mine too,” Minho answered shyly, “Have you read all of it? I just started re-reading it.”
“Yeah, I've read it maybe three times,” You chuckle, the awkward tension clearing up.
You don't notice it at first, but as you continue to talk, you both lean closer. And closer. And closer…
The awkward tension was slowly turning into a different kind of tension
—
The conversation stopped. So close now he could feel your breath on his face. He looked at your expression. The red light from outside is pooling under the door and illuminating your face. He doesn’t know where the courage to ask came from, but before he could think it over, his mouth started to speak.
“Can I…” he started. “I mean… if it’s okay… Can I kiss you?”
You didn’t even hesitate.
“Yeah... yeah, you can”
And then he leaned in.
It was soft. Hesitant at first. His lips barely brushed yours, like he was waiting for you to pull away. You didn’t. You leaned into him instead.
It was short. Sweet. Not perfect, but it didn’t have to be.
After your death, Dean was broken. He wouldn’t eat, he quit hunting, quit going outside at all really, just shut himself in his room. At some point, he even contemplated selling Baby. That was when Sam understood that Dean had hit the bottom. That Dean needed help.
But for Dean, the worst thing was sleeping. The nightmares that would plague his mind were almost too much for him to handle. He would dream of you. Everything you’d done together. Everything you should have done together. One of his favorite memories kept recurring. You'd had a day off and you had decided to go to the beach. On the way back to the motel, you leaned out of the passenger window. Your legs resting in his lap, hair flying crazy in the wind. You'd looked so beautiful, and it was the moment he'd accepted that he had a crush on you.
Then, the memory would melt away like old film and flashes of your burning body would start to take over. The sound of the gunshot, the thud when you hit the ground echoed in the background. And then he would wake up in an ocean of cold sweat.
But you were haunting him. Not only in his sleep. When he was awake too. But this was a ghost he didn’t want to leave.
He saw you in the corner of his eye. He would catch a glimpse of you in the review mirror, sitting in the backseat of Baby. You would sit at the end of his bed when he woke up in the middle of the night. Your voice distant and distorted as you spoke to him. As if you were speaking to him from the other side of a long tunnel.
“Shhh…” You would reach up and caress his cheek. He would close his eyes. Your touch like a cold breeze, “It was just a dream,”
When he opened his eyes again. You'd be gone.
A ‘sleep paralysis demon’ the psychiatrist Sam had forced him to get called it. The psychiatrist had given Dean a prescription for some pills that would prevent “the demon” from showing up. But all Dean could think was, “You weren't a demon”. And even though it hurt seeing you like this — not being able to touch you, and only being able to see you in his peripheral — he didn't want it to stop. It was a version of you that he might not have, but he at least hadn’t lost.
Dean started sleeping more and more. The nightmares were bad, but it was all worth it when he got to see you when he woke. Hear your whisper, feel the ghost of your fingers on his cheek.
“It was just a nightmare”
“It's fine, Dean”
“you're alright,”
“I'm right here,”
“Shhh…”
That's what it started like in the beginning. Short sentences comforting him in his distress. Then, it turned into something else. Almost like… Small cries for help?
“Don’t take the pills, Dean.”
“They are making you sick.”
“Sam doesn't like me, he wants me gone,”
“They make me weak, Dean”
No. That wasn’t right? Sam loved you just like he did. But he didn’t want you to disappear. Never again. So he quit taking them.
“Dean, please help me”
“I miss you, Dean,”
“I need you to do something for me”
“I love you,”
“I need you to follow me”
“Help me come back”
Your words burned into his brain. ‘Come back’. You could come back? Could he hold you again? His want, his need to feel more than the ghost of your fingers on his cheek was overbearing. So, one night, he woke up. Saw you sitting on the edge of his bed
“Show me where to go,” He begged, “Please”
You didn’t say anything, but you stood up and walked out to the hall. Dean followed you. Followed your shadow as you disappeared behind corners and through doors. He followed you out of the front door and down the road. He didn’t think about where he was going, he just kept his eyes on your form so he wouldn’t lose it. The door closed with a loud bang! and Sam woke up.
Sam walked groggily through the bunker, checking for what made the sound. When he couldn’t find anything he poked his head into Deans room to check if everything was fine before he went back to sleep. But Dean’s bed was empty and it went cold down Sam’s spine.
“Shit-” Sam said and ran through the whole layout one more time to look for Dean. When he couldn’t find him he ran outside and down the driveway. “Dean!”
He didn’t know where he had gone and just had to pick a way and hope it was the right one. He couldn’t have gotten far.
Eventually, luckily, he saw him down by the bridge.
“Dean! Dean, Stop!” Sam’s voice shouts as he runs to keep up, “Dean, step back!”
“No… no, I need to follow her,” Dean says desperately, “She’s gonna tell me how to get her back, I just need to-” When he turns back to look at you. You’re gone. He feels himself panic.
“No… Y/n? Y/n!” He shouts, tears prickling down his cheeks, “Y/N, come back! Where did you go, I need to-… I just- where did she go…?”
“She's not real, Dean” Sam said worried, “We burned her bones, remember? She can't come back”
That fact slammed Dean back to reality. It was like someone punched him in the stomach. He looked around and found himself standing on the rail of a bridge, a small step away from the edge. What was he doing? Was he going to jump? How did he get here? He didn’t know. He just needed to get down.
On shaky legs, he got down from the railing. Sam quickly stepped forward, catching him. Sam hugged him. And Dean hugged him back, desperately clinging to Sam. He had lost you… again.
“I- I can’t breathe,” Dean heaved
“Shhh… it’s going to be fine…” Sam whispered. He didn’t know what else to say.
---
The therapist later explains that Dean’s depression, and his longing for you, have been so severe that it caused him to hallucinate, his mind twisting reality just to keep him from breaking down completely. But as his suicidal thoughts worsened, the hallucinations changed. They tangled with the visions of you, warping into something darker. Something dangerous.
It took time, but Dean is okay now. At least, that’s what everyone says.
He takes his medication. He sleeps enough. He eats full meals. The weight in his chest isn’t as crushing as it used to be. The world didn’t feel as crushingly dark as it had. The road stretches wide ahead of them, summer heat shimmering off the asphalt, and the roar of Baby’s engine gives Dean life. This is good. This is what he knows.
But sometimes, in the quiet, he feels the ghost of your fingers against his cheek. Barely there, but enough to make him turn his head before he catches himself. The touch never lingers. It never lingers, never stays long enough for him to be sure if it’s real.
But of course, it never is.
Dean keeps his hands on the wheel, his grip firm. Sam notices that Dean doesn’t hum to the crackling music from the radio, some old Kansas song, as he usually does.
“You good?” Sam asks, keeping his voice casual.
Dean doesn’t look at him. “Yeah.”
A pause. Then, “You want me to take over?”
They had agreed that Sam would be allowed to drive so Dean wouldn’t burn himself out too fast. But Dean shakes his head.
“No… I got it.”
And he does. Driving is easy. It keeps his mind from going places it shouldn’t.
His eyes flick to the rearview mirror. Just a glance. Routine. But he isn’t looking at the car behind them.
He’s looking at you.
Leaned out of the window, your legs spread out in the backseat, hair flying crazy in the wind. You looked so beautiful.
His breath stutters.
His fingers twitch on the wheel, itching to reach for something he can’t touch.
