Heiriz TheHzHare

Distracted by ALL

[meangirlnurse]

i woke up at 3:30 AM for no reason and i've never lived in the midwest but i'm considering making snickers salad because i saw a tumblr post about it

[meangirlnurse]

püdding

[meangirlnurse]

internet said add milk

[meangirlnurse]

whip cream

[meangirlnurse]

עפל

[meangirlnurse]

the dogs have woken up to stare blearily at me. they're not even begging for food they're just judging

[meangirlnurse]

thank you for your support 🫡

[meangirlnurse]

you know there’s actually something really satisfying about the meaty “thwap” sound of apple bits slapping against the apparently taut surface of some kind of unholy pudding/milk/whipt cream hybrid

[meangirlnurse]

oh kevin perjurer we’re in it now

[meangirlnurse]

critics are raving!

[meangirlnurse]

my ex was a goth influencer and once upon a time we went to salem massachusetts (of the salem witch trials) and she got recognized by multiple people off the street and like. in hindsight that's kind of charming? like yeah i guess this is the place where people would know goth microcelebrities. where else in the world. this isn't related to the snickers btw

[meangirlnurse]

@feraladoration tbh as soon as i saw the poll for which midwestern food was most disgusting i really thought snickers salad sounded kind of passable so i immediately shuffled off to target, zombie-like, in order to buy pudding and apples

this was like a couple weeks ago and ever since i've just been waiting to be activated like some kind of foreign food concoction sleeper agent

[meangirlnurse]

my cat thinks i'm making her breakfast and is now trying to climb my legs to get to the snickers salad

[meangirlnurse]

i’m not really sure what the snickers to apple ratio is supposed to be here i’m just following my heart

[meangirlnurse]

snickers salad sweep!!!!!!!!!!!!

[meangirlnurse]

update: whole bag

[meangirlnurse]

the unknowable cries of the human soul

[meangirlnurse]

[meangirlnurse]

for maximum comedic effect i just want you all to know that i haven't tried this at all while i work on it. i want it to be a surprise

[meangirlnurse]

update: poured myself a bowl, got distracted by making this post and put it down somewhere adn now i don't know where. dangerous game to play with multiple large dogs in the house

[meangirlnurse]

all right lads. its time

[meangirlnurse]

its bad

[theshittyfoodblog]

Cronch

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

nut loaf

[hidingfrompolice]

Bitch i thought that was rocks!

[warframe]

thats not bread that’s a core sample from a beach

[dat-soldier]

That’s conk creat babey!!!!!!!!!!

[ottermatopoeia]

they built the Great Wall with that

[monkeysaysficus]

This was thrown at Stonewall

[teaboot]

Cain killed his brother with this

[drachenkinder]

Dwarf bread, just like mama used to mine.

[cricketcat9]

I agree ☝🏼 100% dwarf bread!

[asksanguinius40k]

Bread built like a gravel road.

[maykkr]

Ey jimmi! Get me a seed with nothin

[lilybug-02]

Fossilized bread from the Cretaceous.

[divorcedbasil]

vid i stole off reddit and feel like i need everyone to watch

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

This is a really fantastic return to form for this genre of post. In recent years there's been less and less effort put into this vital aspect of internet culture, it's nice to see a return to the truly artisanal work of the late 00s.

[phinarei]

Now THIS is what the internet exists for. I was LOCKED IN the whole time.

[liggya]

Pokopia being wildly successful is proof to me that the people yearn for more Mystery Dungeon games

Seriously if you love Pokopia especially for the Pokémon characterizations PLEAASEE get on PMD you will be obsessed

Anyway am I for real considering spending over 500 bucks just to get this game iiidddkkkkkkkkkk every day I’m getting closer to doing it

[krisispiss]

has anyone else noticed this? we need scientists to study this.

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger]

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

[kyloschuyler]

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

[tree-of-blue-squirrel]

reblog it, because Russia can´t

[maradaisykat]

Thanks Obama 

[my-sisters-eyeball]

Wtf

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

When Russia makes this post illegal

[earthnicity]

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

[dovahdez]

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

[a-wondering-thought-deactivated]

I have a piece of tumblr history on my blog now

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: atgctactttaatcaaaaattcaTattattatttgaagtcaacatTaaataattgaATCTgtgattaaacttg

Closest match: Bombyx mori BmN4 cell DNA, chromosome 24, sequence Common name: Domestic Silk Moth

(image source)

[willifolts]

When the domestic silk moth sends you nudes

[scp-threats-is-back]

Domestic silk moth is just being friendly

[yoink-a-doink]

Now the moth is banned in Russia

[fantasylover4538]

…well what the fuck is this

[kingofkaumidy2]

Art.

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

[lucabyte]

iqmaxxing

[lucabyte]

an honest mistake to make

[porcuprick]

Drew my PMD team from my Blue Rescue Team playthrough from last year.

World Strongest Amnesiac Eevee, her weird little gay hydrogen bomb friend and Sanji One Peace.

[bloggoth]

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

[bloggoth]

it was pneumonia.

[bloggoth]

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

[bloggoth]

he shot her point blank

[virtualgirladvance]

[idontevenhaveone]

... the worst bit is I know several people this could be, especially given the 'in Australia' clarification

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

If you know them then there's a chance I might know some of them and that thought will keep me up at night.

[antikate]

This wasn’t the guy who we all know who used to spray his jeans with Mortein and then light himself on fire, was it?

[harlemshakemp3]

He used to sit at the back of the bus, cup his hand, spray deodorant into it, then open it and light it on fire with a lighter in one fell swoop to try and impress girls.

He had to stop because the bus company begged our school to tell him to stop bc of legal liability. His hands never actually got damaged after doing it for about a year.

[harlemshakemp3]

I reached out to my old friend in question here, because I've been thinking about him all day.

I do not know what "the amulet" is. I have no idea what "the amulet" is referring to.

[harlemshakemp3]

I instantly remembered when he said that.

While we were all at the local park doing legal things that teenagers would do back in the late 2000s, my friend here found a rock at our old smoke spot that was unusually smooth and flat. He liked it so much that he took it to the woodwork classrooms at school, drilled a hole in it, and hung it on a necklace.

When we asked why he weanwearing this dinky-ass pebble on his neck, he claimed it prevented him from ever getting food-related illnesses: wouldn't get food poisoning, couldn't over-eat, was able to ingest anything (prior to him finding The Amulet, a few of us used to play a game called "Devil's Piss" where we would take turns shoving random food bits into a bottle of coke, and the first person to take a sip would get two dollars from the other players).

When we all asked him for the proof that this rock is magical—because nobody believed him, obviously—he said to meet him behind the History block at lunch, where he said he would drink two litres (or half a gallon) of milk in one go and not puke.

We met him there, and about ten of us all watched him down a whole bottle of strawberry milk in two or three breaths.

He didn't puke.

He jumped up and down and punched his stomach to prove it.

He still didn't puke.

I'm so glad I'm alive.

[themythicalcodfish]

this is why you go outside, something like this could never be scripted

[the-haiku-bot]

this is why you go

outside, something like this could

never be scripted

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[finnwolfhards]

this is superior humor

[duke-chainsaw]

I have some to add:

[pyros-random-thoughts]

M O R E

[oh-great-autistic-gay]

I hope you enjoy

[rhiotta]

Ole McMuffet had a corporate restaurant.

I've had this oddly specific image of Muffet working at McDonalds in my head for nearly 10 years, but no reason to really draw about it. The plot to get there is Kris Deltarune committing manslaughter at the McDonalds, obviously. Any resemblance to real Health Inspectors is coincidental.

I broke my original post order plans to get this on time for Valentines Season cuz it's always Valentines Day somewhere. Enjoy more out of order jokes.

Someone out there's playing Health Inspector Simulator (badly).

(Do you guys also remember when McDonalds had Mario Party 3? The controllers were almost always busted, but it was pretty dope.)

Does Ralsei know what McDonalds is.

[disruptor]

Interesting to note :0 saw it on twitter and thought I’d share!

[many-bees]

[biglawbear]

This is FASCINATING and describes something I couldn’t put my finger on!!

[wemblingfool]

A major difference things like this don’t take into account is animation.

When the original pokemon were designed, they were just static six-bit colorless sprites. They had no clue what was to come in the next 20 years.

Over the next twenty years, pokemon has become insanely popular. Disney level popular. Each game has increased the animation until each one now has a fully animated CG model, rendered in far more detail than the first gen Gameboy sprites could ever dream of. It’s had thousands of cartoon episodes and around two dozen movies.

The newer designs are-

Much easier to animate, and more importantly,

Significantly easier for children to draw.

And that’s ultimately what this franchise boils down to: it has to be accessible to children.

[knifenick]

I think that’s a really interesting point because as a child I always thought it’s really really hard to draw Pokemon! So I honestly never did.

[frontmansdefender]

wigginsgolf on instagram

[zandergb]

[astromechapunk]

This is how it's done:

[cilceon]

And this is how you homage it:

[everydayconman]

Literally less than a year ago we were adding cool spins to it like “Sliding Up Tokyo Tower” how did we downgrade so hard?

[crimsoncadmium]

We even got live action slide

[bellatrixmelody]

The slide in the first post bothers the fuck out of me because he’s using his right leg to slide on the ground.

So, I ride a motorcycle and I know at least the theory of doing a power slide (still cool but you don’t slide nearly so much and you need a pretty light bike to do it most of the time). You have to lock the back wheel until your back wheel looses grip on the road and then turn sharply to the left. Rear wheel slides and the front wheel turns.

But how do you lock the back wheel you might ask? Well with your rear break of course.

WHICH IS UNIVERSALLY UNDER YOUR RIGHT FOOT! How the FUCK is he locking the back wheel, with his shifter on his left foot??? Not possible. The creators of Akira knew it, and so did everyone that homaged it. The post above gets it right even if he’s likely on a slider and being pulled back.

[vespertinecat]

This is why I love tumblr. Where else could I find gifs of back to back tribute references and a perfect explanation of why the above doesn't work and how you would need to do everything to ideally execute to move in question? Thank you for explaining, fellow tumblr friend.

[onlinegf2-deactivated20160818]

why did my neighbors name their wifi network this

[biggaybunny]

what’s the point of having a wifi network and not naming it something like this

[laropasucia]

Oh the fun you can have with network naming…

…

[omnipotentoverlord-deactivated2]

This is my joy.

[thoughtfulfuri]

This made me look at networks near me and: 

[zhenya-grey]

Once again, happy to report we also have a local bat cave.

And shout-out to Yoooooo

[the-haiku-bot]

Once again, happy

to report we also have

a local bat cave.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[54625]

flicking back through my procreate library what the fuck was this

[pillowspace]

Things to look for in this:

Fish

Eyes

Body

[astronomical-bagel]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is one of the greatest pieces of art in the world OP