quality house md shitposts

A House, M.D. shitpost dumping ground. Also, a generic shitpost dumping ground.

[lesbiancaptainkirk]

this episode is why people call it hatecrimes m.d

[jyslacefront]

#remember when queerbaiting was done with a passion for fhe craft

[karnalesbian]

[chase-md]

[gregoryabode]

Happy pride month to the most doomed closeted gay couple out there 🏳️‍🌈

[boybeetles]

There’s no mobility aids in the game so I just gave him a pet cane

[sneckoil]

cuddy and wilson would be happy to babytrap each other. and they almost did. multiple times. if not for woke

[not-lupus]

he's quoting hamilton pre-hamilton

[loumandivorce]

devestating news for you

[malcolm-f-tucker]

[thrud-deactivated20210605]

this honestly just came out of left fucking field i would have never expected to hear anything like this in this show. consider me Pleasantly Surprised tbh

[princessofclubs-blog]

This was the autism episode

[bpdpapi-deactivated20150616]

people seem to forget that house was a multiply disabled man, so it should be a given that he’d be against eugenics and eugenicist doctors

[ecrivainsolitaire]

I pointed this out the last time this post started circulating, but House is explicitly disabled because Cuddy didn’t take him seriously about his pain until it was too late to save his leg muscle, and then she tried to convince him to cut it off so he could have a “normal” life with a prosthesis. He’s quite literally a walking display of what happens when doctors refuse to listen to patients who don’t communicate in a socially acceptable manner, and the reason he gets away with so much stuff is because Cuddy knows he doesn’t share her blind spot when it comes to putting the wellbeing of the patient above everything else, fuck protocol, fuck insurance, fuck liability, fuck the Hippocratic Oath, this person is in pain right now, everything else can go to hell until their pain stops.

[remosss]

mouse bites show

[clouds-of-wings]

"Watching my dad (a GP doctor) watch House is more entertaining than the show"

[zoi-no-miko]

GOD, I wish more doctors were more like this redditor's dad

[sighinastorm]

been ages since I saw a rage comic!

>thread is from 13 years ago

oh.

[morethanonepage]

helpful stuff for when you want to fuck that old man

[hot-bimbo-rarh]

Saving this just in case I ever write House smut

[writing-prompt-s]

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

[gwenthebard]

-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”

[chicago-geniza]

@exteenpopstar

[theothin]

#love the implication that house is force sensitive and decided to become a dark side user for medical malpractice reasons (via @gravity-loves-me)

[that-gay-jedi]

I’m HOWLING this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

[ampt0n]

[vault-of-amber]

shout out to house md season 2 for having an episode's moral dilemma revolve around toxic yuri. woman gives up half her liver for her girlfriend who has secretly been planning to break up with her but it turns out the woman knows and is only doing the surgery so the girlfriend will have to stay out of guilt. up there in the top 5 crazy homosexuals in this show

[all-pacas]

thinking about how the og3's specialties are so smart both from a character and story perspective.

like first, doyalist: if you want house to have a team that covers all your bases, you can't get much better than cameron, chase, and foreman. neurology covers the brain, but also the nervous system and spine; immunology is all about the immune system, and beyond "allergy doctor," it also deals with autoimmune diseases (lupus and sarcoidosis, two of the show's favorites) and has a lot of crossover with rheumatology. chase's specialty of intensive care isn't as diagnostically useful, but most of house's patient's end up in the ICU sooner or later -- having a guy around whose specialty is keeping them alive to fix is pretty handy. he's the one trained to deal with organ failure, which happens basically once an episode! (even the retcon/switch to chase being a surgeon nods at this: he's the one who can actually fix them or take a look at their insides; chase is less differentially useful but indespensible for treatment.)

but also symbolically -- as characters -- it's just. it's great.

foreman is the most intelligent of the team, the most book smart. neurology is notoriously difficult and complex -- there's a reason "it's not brain surgery" is shorthand for "it's not difficult." but foreman is also someone who is concerned with looking good, with proving himself: you get the sense he might have picked neurology because it is difficult and complex, that he wanted both the challenge and the prestige. foreman also has more personal ties: his mother has alzheimer's, he himself risks brain damage in s2. there is something fitting about house, whose greatest fear is arguably the loss of his own mind and intelligence (and who skirts around sanity and delusions repeatedly), finding such a favorite in foreman, the one most suited to recognizing and responding to that potential (even if the show, sadly, never does anything with it).

cameron's immunology is an interesting one, because immunology can cover a whole lot of things. most simplistically, immune responses are the body's defenses working against themselves: the thing meant to cure and protect you does you harm. the thing is, cameron is damaged. we know this from episode one; we learn in fidelity that her marriage is not the cause of her damage, and every subsequent detail casts into serious doubt her story that "he was the love of my life." cameron is being consumed from the inside. her own damage tears her apart, and her own habits of self-protection -- running, avoiding emotional vulnerability, avoiding risks for fear of loss -- cause her more pain than anything else. if an immune system is the body's way of protecting itself, and immunology is the study of that protection backfiring... then so is cameron.

chase's intensive care specialty makes more sense with his backstory than without, on a literal level: he is someone who has been doing critical care for a long time. he was left in charge of his family as a child; he took care of his mother as she died and his baby sister to boot. chase deals in emergencies and crisis, with people who are actively dying. while chase isn't stupid, he also is shown to -- have a different sort of intelligence, let's say. he's active (the only member of the team who likes sports), he's hands on, he's outgoing contrasted to foreman and cameron's more withdrawn natures; he's creative and quick-thinking instead of studious. he naps in the conference room when there's only studying or research to do, but he thrives in a crisis. chase is also, we learn, a natural caretaker (who is doing his best to resist that calling). he isn't interested in medicine as an ambition or way of solving puzzles, he's not interested in adulation and praise -- i'm sure he likes all these things well enough, but they are not stated motivations as with cameron and foreman. instead he likes to help people. directly. not in the abstract like cameron -- doing good for the world -- but the people right in front of him. the ones in crisis. whether that be a baby in the NICU or thirteen in after hours or cameron many, many times. he's hand's on. he's direct, not cerebral.

[olliesaurus-rex]

[selena-soto]

[avianhasnodignity]

lowkey starting to understand that guy in house who kept a bunch of people hostage at gunpoint in order to get a diagnosis

[greghatecrimes]

House drugged that coffee btw

[meraarts]

It’s even better than that. He didn’t drug that coffee, but the other one, the one he isn’t offering to Wilson. He did this because he (rightfully) assumed Wilson would not trust him and ask for House’s coffee instead.

Also noteworthy is that when Wilson drugs House through coffee this very same episode, he does it by drugging the offered cup, because he knows House would never even think to suspect him.

They are insane.

[hyumjim]

House was sort of like Death Note if there was no death note and Light and L were just coworkers and best friends with sexual tension