stick 'em in @clamsinmyyams - Tumblr Blog

thankyouforthefunny

whatotherplanet

magnetostits-deactivated2026031

rip magneto you would have loved killing elon musk

torn-a-sunder

Probably with a cybertruck, let's be honest. And it would have ruled so hard.

imp

apolladay

Can we make a perfect penis poll through coordination on the notes and tumblr telepathy

Ball

Penis

Ball

Can we make a perfect penis poll through coordination on the notes and tumblr telepathy

Ball

Penis

Ball

Voting ended onMar 29, 2025

kath-artic

when i was dorming at college we had this screensaver on our roku called UFO Fantasy that was just all these really shittily photoshopped sci-fi landscapes but there was one slide that would sometimes be in the rotation and it must've been like. giantess fetish art. but we would all jump and clap and cheer every time it came up on the tv until one day the screensaver pack was just gone without a trace and it was back to roku city. anyway the point is i just found her

hatchan

> kids party going on next door to where I'm chilling for my break. a lot of good-natured screaming typical of the age range, seems to be 6-8

> minding my own business but kids eventually spill over to where I am and they're chatting about the cake and cookies and sweets

> one kid rolls her eyes and says to me "they're acting crazy because they had cake"

> I ask "is there cake left?"

> "yeah"

> "I'll give you a dollar if you steal me slice of cake"

> takes off like a fucking rocket and 60 seconds later I have a slice of melting ice cream cake all to myself

> give her the dollar as promised

> another kid offers to bring me a cookie for a dollar

> ok sure kid

> those two kids are going feral over a single dollar bill each

> the children yearn for the mines fetch quests

grimlygroovy-deactivated2015051

2000 was almost 14 years ago 2000 was almost 14 years ago 2000 was almost 14 years ago

lordoftablecloths

hey op guess what

lordoftablecloths

oh nevermind you’re died

rubykgrant

scarecade

i am afraid of people who reblog things with no tags. not even any identifiers like the show it’s from or anything. just silence. what are you thinking?? hello??

scarecade

you know what understandable have a good day

theehorsepusssy

proartspb

bisthefairy

Stealing prev tags uwu

sourcreammachine

^mental gymnastics of the forcefield denier

cuprohastes

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

alexaloraetheris

OP did it hurt when Apollo's dodgeball hit you and made you write that story?

unprettyextra

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, medical pioneer who received the world's first experimental rat penis transplant, announced today that the social

lord-kitschener

I mean the whole damn point of the Nativity story is that the supposed son of God (interpret Jesus how you fucking want, of course) was born to a couple of poor, exhausted peasants in the stable for the inn, and his first bed was a feeding trough for animals. That would nowadays be like a poor couple where the mother gives birth in a parking garage behind the motel because they couldn’t find a better place and nobody else would take them in. It’s a pretty gritty setting, and the idea is that God was reborn in some of the rock-bottom lowest circumstances. The only thing majestic was all the angels and shit, and of course motherly love

I get that a lot of the art portraying Madonna and Child as fabulously wealthy europeans in splendid robes and golden light was meant to glorify God + whichever nobility was sponsoring the artist, and while of course it’s genuinely beautiful art, it just always struck me as horribly missing the point, which is that the supposed son of God started in incredibly humble circumstances, among the kind of people that everyone else looks down on

‘Massacre des Innocents’ by Leon Cogniét, 1824. Although the Feast of the Holy Innocents is in a couple of days time, this painting is still really relevant in that it portrays Mary as how She really was: a scared refugee mum, so fearful that Her son was going to be one of the Innocents killed by King Herod.

durnesque-esque

My new favorite mordern interpretation is this work, José y Maria by Everett Patterson (http://www.everettpatterson.com)

I had to look at this like FIVE TIMES to register all the layers of symbolism going into the piece by Patterson.

The hoodie as a veil.

Weisman cigarettes

Each of them is haloed by an advertisement sticker.

No Vacancy sign on the motel.

Dove sticker over Maria’s head.

Neon sign with a star symbol also over Maria’s head.

The crown over the ‘Dave’s City Motel’ sign. “New Manger.”

The sign behind Jose’s elbow likely says ‘Herod.’

The wee little plant growing through the cracks at their feet.

It’s like a New Testament ‘I Spy.’ I love it!

Ugh.

New favorite interpretation of the nativity.

alextheraven

Ezekiel 34 15-16 on the phone

clockworkvulpine

Good news sticker above José

Maria sitting on a donkey

Shepherd Watches advertisement in the newspaper

Gloria sticker on the payphone

bowbowis

The tragic/hilarious thing is how all the hardcore Bible thumpers I know would look at that image and feel nothing but contempt for Jose and Maria.

actualmermaid

In 2023, iconographer Kelly Latimore created “Christ in the Rubble” in collaboration with Red Letter Christians and Rev. Munther Isaac.

To quote Rev. Isaac earlier this month, “Christ is still under the rubble.”

cheaphalloweencostume

i’m so genuinely lucky to be dumb as hammers. the simplest things bring me joy. i’ve had several fits of passionate laughing out loud today because i can’t stop thinking of the phrase “one william dollars”