NO ONE IN THE GARDEN HAD SEX THAT AFTERNOON

she/her | 30 | British

[cheddar-baby]

Domming a guy i hate and convincing him good puppies like to be named Hubert then getting his name legally changed to Hubert then ghosting him

[mlarayoukai-archive]

cat

[cryptratfromrunescape]

IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA!!!

[hollowedskin]

Oh I had two of these guys! They wiggle when they pouce on their crickets! They really are little cats

[thorst]

Gosh that little mate is adorable. A baby. A kitten if you will

Not from my neck of the woods, but a West Australia mention is a West Australia mention

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[inkmothnexus]

the thing is they really do let you hit because you're goofy.

[inkmothnexus]

i say shit like "whuh oh!" and it makes girls want to kiss me under moonlight for some reason

[yourfaveisintersex]

what if I just made my profile picture a male calico cat or something. hurm

[icewingassasin]

Could I suggest a picture of Dawntreader Texas Calboy? He is a beautiful male calico cat who is a chimera. He's also somewhat controversial among some cat fancy associations since he is a male cat with female colors, and some people are strangely transphobic towards him, despite him being a cat? There was even a rule implemented to keep him from competing in a cat show. If you look up his name, he made a few news articles.

[yourfaveisintersex]

Oh my god?????

Yeah you're right about beautiful I'm squeezing him until he pops!!!!! I love this guy I think I'm going to make an edit real quickly Calboy I love you I'm so sorry people are calling you a freak??????

[yourfaveisintersex]

:)

[spitzonthefritz]

this is going around twitter rn but im also super curious: please tell me your top four comfort movies that you’re always down to watch bc my friend thinks mine are ridiculous and now we’ve realised everyone’s version of “comfort” is hilariously different

[futchlings]

"incurious" still GOAT insult. You could be better but you're not. You could learn but you won't, and for no good reason, just a base dispositional apathy. Get fucked

[aflo]

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

[aflo]

[qcharlie]

please god watch this right now

[fangirltothefullest]

The editing of this video is hysterical and genius- they switch between so many editing styles to reflect exactly what kind of thing they're going for in each segment its GREAT.

[jame7t]

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

[mevil]

[nehirose]

i'm still losing my mind over this, that is EXACTLY what the weed store in Splatoon would sound like.

[zootycoon-archive]

why does travis scott get a meal at mcdonalds. what about….. what about……… sandsvendor100.

[sandsvendor100]

Tell Them You Want Your Burger Done “Burger Style” Or “With Cheese” And The Look On Their Face Will Be Immaculately Conceived

[leolaroot]

[mx-misty-eyed]

rb to give a snout-out to the gays

[kymeira]

[jinjeriffic]

Lets hear it for Malicious Compliance

[elkian]

*filming literal mold* “There is a bit of a damp problem…” The signs saying “DON’T BUY THIS” are a beautiful touch.

[silly-signs]

Official silly sign(s)

[drowning-lessonz]

daily affirmations

i am the unkillable faggot

i can exist in grocery stores

i have the shittiest music taste in any room

i have a gun

[vibribbonpsx]

(0 drinks in) c,an i pledge fealty ma'am,