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@enitnerolf
did perfectionism ever truly protect you from harm or neglect as a child though. ultimately. Lol
[REALLY NORMAL AND WELL-ADJUSTED VOICE] well you never know maybe it COULD have saved me. if i ever actually achieved perfection. it could have happened then. if i was actually ever enough. Which i was not
I got frost bite on my fingers back in January during the giant blizzard that hit the northeast coast of the US. It wasn't like bad bad, and while I was out in the cold for an hour and a half without gloves, most of that time my hands were in my (raincoat) pockets, so they didn't get too cold. It was the last five or ten minutes in the cold, where I was carrying a cane and a roller bag suitcase (without gloves, in 14 degrees, then minus windchill) to catch the bus that my hands got super painful (I was crying from the pain). I got some light blistering at the base of my fingernails. My hands warmed back up on the bus and it was ok.
Later that night, like four hours later, I had to unbury my car. Fortunately I had my winter coat and gloves at that point (they were in my car), but my hands did get wet (it was wet snow), and I had to stop a fair amount to warm my hands back up because they got cold so easily.
So now, it's exactly five months later and I have itchy dry patches of skin on all my fingers that just never go away, no matter what i do. My hands are very sensitive to hot and cold and they get cold very easily. My dermatologist had recommended a steroid ointment that I use for eczema to relieve the itching but it doesn't work, and it just makes my skin thinner and more prone to splits.
I've done some reading and I know that I can expect the nerves to take months or years to properly heal. But it's the dry itchy skin that's making me nuts. I do have an appointment with my doctor this week to see if she knows of anything that can be done. But this morning it occurred to me to ask on here.
Do any of you know anything that might help relieve the dry skin and itching (or, I dunno, promote nerve healing)? Just gonna tag those of you I follow who seem to know everyone else or who might have this as an intense interest.
@gallusrostromegalus @harpyjack @weirdreindeer @yournewapartment @geekysteven
Make it very clear to your doc that the current medication isn't working and making the situation worse. There are many other things they can try. 2. Seconding the Aloe and Bag Balm in the comments, and another friend reccomends Cetaphil with the lime green lid:
3. At 5 months out and with confirmed nerve damage though, you're probably going to want to talk to a neurologist or a physical therapist about pain management. You can also ask your doctor about a recommendation for an accupuncturist or laser therapy if they think that might help with the nerve damage
I'll open this up to the floor because I have experience with burns but not frostbite. @systlin?
@morgannalefey Husband (nurse) suggests: the itching is likely due to your skins internal layers repairing. Unfortunately healing skin itches (it is a good sign but really annoying). What might help is using a vaseline based cream, this keeps the outer layers supple, and this in turn helps deal with dry patches and prevents splits.
I’m at a point in my Spanish understanding where I can watch native content with subtitles but the problem is that nobody on planet earth has any respect for the art of making good subtitles no matter what language it is
There’s this thing that subtitles do sometimes where they paraphrase or word things slightly differently for some reason.
Like
Real dialogue: (frustrated) No, I’m just going to the clock store to buy a fucking clock. What do you think I’m doing?
Subtitles: I am going to the clock store to buy a clock. What do you think is happening?
And it doesn’t just happen on dubs either. This nonsense happens on content made in the language you’re reading the subtitles for too.
Does this happen with subtitles specifically for the hearing impaired too? Because when I was learning English I had this same problem, but if I switched from 'English' to 'English for the hearing impaired' I would get the actual text (and all the sound effects, which gives an interesting insight in what sounds are considered important).
Then again, this was when DVD's were still the main way to distribute movies. I assume the studio's themselves would make (or pay for the making of) the subtitles. I don't know if streaming becomming the norm changed that in any way.
(And also I'm Dutch. Subbing are the norm in the Netherlands, dubbing is really only done with childrens movies)
Non cooking spray stick
Non spray stick cooking
Non cooking stick spray
yeah okay ill reblog that
As a woman who is both gender non-conforming and who is planning a pregnancy in the near future AND who works with children, I am very invested in the conversation about the confines of femininity, the complexities of motherhood and the fascistic expectation of women to have children. I also often find it deeply frustrating.
I do not think it should need to be said, but unfortunately it absolutely is, that nobody should ever be forced to become pregnant, be a parent or carry a pregnancy to term. Ever. This requires both complete and total abortion rights & access but also the dismantling of the gendered expectation of women to want and need children. Remaining child free should not only be possible for women, it should also be normal and completely accepted. Anything else is oppressive.
However, I am deeply bothered by how many people who share these views talk about children. I have come across many posts describing children in cruel and dehumanizing ways, emphasizing how gross and terrible children are and how much of a burden they are to their parents. This, I think is also wrong.
Children are a particularly vulnerable population. They often have very little rights and autonomy and are at the whims of adults around them, which makes then particularly vulnerable to abuse. Children are real, fully realized people who have very specific needs and considerations. Constantly discussing how disgusting and terrible children are, means attacking people who have no power and cannot defend themselves, legally or otherwise. These views cannot be separated from calls to remove children from public life, like parks and transportation, the practice of which is both dehumanizing and oppressive. This goes hand in hand with the gendered oppression of women who are unfortunately still often the primary caregivers of children. Forcing children out of the public sphere means forcing mothers out of it too. And the right to not have children needs to go hand in hand with the right to have children. Women need abortion rights and access but they also need the right and access to give birth for free. They need robust childcare and child & family friendly infrastructure. Otherwise the only people who can afford to have children are wealthy elites.
The rights of women to not have children and the rights of children and mothers go hand in hand. They are not contradictory. Being a parent is a complex relationship, one wrought with a long history of violence and oppression of children and women. It is not easy to navigate, and nobody should be expected to do it. Simultaneously, the people who do decide to do it deserve help and support, not scorn or mockery. And most of all, children, all children, even the annoying, dirty and screaming ones deserve a safe loving world that sees their full humanity, respects their perspectives and their bodily autonomy. We are all a part of creating that world for them. Society should be about being good to each other, and that includes children too.
"And most of all, children, all children, even the annoying, dirty and screaming ones deserve a safe loving world that sees their full humanity, respects their perspectives and their bodily autonomy."
Two things:
1) Everybody deserves to get their human rights and needs met. That includes 'unlikable' people. That includes children.
2) Usually when somene is annoying, dirty and screaming, treating them with respect and love vastly improves their behaviour. Unagreeable behaviour usually stems from a need not being met, or a habit developed when a need was not being met. Find and fix the source, offer alternatives and set the right example yourself.
it might just be anthropomorphism, but I think Pangur and Belphie can tell that I’m sick? they’ve been on me like glue all day, just sitting on my left and right and not getting into any mischief. it actually made me cry a little. I guess having a fever and infection changes your smell?
(Grim’s contribution was to step on my eye socket at 7am and then hiss when I said OW too loud, but I appreciate that too. we all have different love languages.)
When my husband got out of the ICU (Legionnaires Disease), our cat Ludacris was attached to him for the following month.
Sitting in the recliner? Luda on lap. Laying on the couch? Luda on legs. I am Luda's favorite person, and I was chopped lemons until husband started feeling better.
Ludacris did the same for me post surgery. And then, every period, he turns into a purring, heated weighted-cat and lays on my lower stomach instead of literally any of his normal spots.
So, wouldn't say your anthropomorphizing them at all if they are clearly displaying behavior outside the norm.
Our old cat was not a lap cat. We had to bribe him to come sit with us. But he would sit on my husbands chest and violently purr whenever he was ill. Like, we could tell hubby was getting ill because Oskar was suddenly glued to his chest sounding like an engine.
And the thing was, something about the combination of pressure, warmth and vibration actually helped.
How often do you watch a new* movie, on average?
More than once a week
About once a week
About 2-3 times a month
About once a month
6-10 times a year
2-5 times a year
Once a year
Less than once a year
*A new movie is just one you've never seen before. The original date it came out doesn't matter. For example, if you watched Some Like It Hot (1959) for the first time yesterday, that counts as a new movie for you.
hi what's wrong with all of you
#almost 30% of you are watching a new movie *to you* only TWO TO FIVE TIMES A YEAR?#you imbibe original content ONLY FIVE TIMES?#i am praying and believing people are voting without reading the asterisk because otherwise you guys are dumb.#i live under a rock and i still watch new old movies! hellO! HELLO??
I should probably just not bite, but I'm hoping this is one of those situations where this will result in calm and peaceful discussion.
I don't like movies. Movies give me anxiety. Without going into a bunch of details about color grading and soundtracks, the way movies are made gives me an anxiety attack. So when I say I watch maybe 2-5 new movies a year, that's because I watch maybe 4-7 movies a year and most of those are new. Movies are almost never fun for me, and I know that about myself. So why would I watch a bunch of movies?
I read comics. I read books. I play video games. I listen to audio dramas. Trust me, I engage with media aplenty. But I don't really watch movies full stop. Some people just don't like movies.
Watching a movie requires being able to sit still, watch, listen and focus for about 2 hours. The last time I watched a movie I was on maternity leave.
I simply don't have the time, focus or mental/emotional energy to sit down and watch. movies.
When I was in uni my housemates had a baby, and we taught them some sign language so they could communicate before all their mouth parts were coordinated yet. None of us knew Auslan but two of us were familiar with the signs that the State Emergency Services used in the field so we worked with those.
The kid learned to request a drink, which is great, because that's like the #1 most important thing for a baby to be able to request, but instead of learning any of the other signs they just used modified versions of the drink sign to ask for all kinds of things. They couldn't actually make the proper drink sign (it requires some level of hand control) and used a modified wave, so they ended up with a whole bunch of subtly different waves to ask for stuff. Which was pretty fun in public because strangers would coo over this adorable baby who kept waving at them when, in practice, the baby wanted their ice cream.
Babies are physically capable of making simplified signs from about 8 months. Speech usually comes at 12 to 18 months. That's half a years worth of frustration about not understanding/not being understood that can be minimized by teaching a child basic signs.
General advice is: start signing at 6 months. This gives the child time to observe, draw the connection, and learn. It also gives you the time to build the habit and practice. Start with a few signs, and wait till you see the child react to them before you introduce more. At 8 months you will start to see the child signing at you to communicate. The signs will be botched. That's ok. Just like with speech, make sure your reply contains the word/sign so they know you understand and can see the 'proper' version without feeling corrected.
Another tip: caregivers like to teach signs like tired and hungry and diaper. Signs that they (the caregivers) find relevant. Make sure to also offer signs that are relevant to the child, like their favorite toys, more and done.
Current twitter drama is Europeans confidently declaring that they don't need to drive or use overpriced public transport to get to the MetLife stadium for the World Cup; they will simply walk down the highway to get there. Girl it's New Jersey. They're gonna splatter you for fun.
If you manage to get on the turnpike before the cops stop you, a soccer mom is gonna do the Jersey slide in a RAV4 and turn your entire group into a wet speedbump
this? you want to walk down this????
please say sike
IT'S NOT A FUCKING STREET ITS AN 8-LANE SUPERHIGHWAY THAT GOES OVER A SWAMP
footpath
that is grass. just like ur ass, if you try to walk this thing
Image me gently taking your hand as I tell you the following:
This is ABSOLUTELY a perfectly fine footpath.
In fact, with how much space I’m seeing here, it is entirely plausible, that the European hordes will just create a temporary little Wanderweg right next to the highway. With that much space they might not even have to interfere with traffic.
But also have you seen the space between your highways? I‘d say the gaps each easily fit another whole stream of European walking hordes. Or maybe even two going opposite directions :D
tightly grips your hand with both of my sweaty hands.
the grass is not a permanent feature. there just happens to be a chunk of it there. the side of the road can vary from grass to swampwater ditches to steep embankments to absolutely nothing within a very short distance.
they will call in every highway enforcer in the state and mass incarcerate the lot of you before they allow you to Darwin Award yourselves across 6 lanes of traffic into an international incident or, (their real concern) impede the progress of the single most important north-south interstate corridor in america, ball kicky game be damned.
(I'm starting to believe that a fair number of you in the notes have We're Better Than Stupid Americans embedded so deeply into your cultural identity that you will Just Not Listen to anything we say to you about the material circumstances about the place we live in, rather than taking us at our word that there is a reason that most Americans travel the way we do and it's a good reason.)
"Jaywalking is not a thing in Europe" may I suggest this is less about the laws of America and more about the laws of inertia
Trolley problem:
You are a US American motorist driving along i-95 during rush hour. You see a pedestrian dart in front of you. You have 2 seconds to make a decision:
Attempt to stop (cause multi-car pile up and kill pedestrian anyway)
Attempt to swerve #1 (cause semi truck next to you to jackknife, cause pileup, kill pedestrian anyway)
Attempt to swerve #2 (into ditch/swamp/retaining wall, 85 mph/137 km per hour, killing yourself, your passengers, and a bunch of other people on the road when your car inevitably sends pieces shooting off into traffic. Also, the pedestrian gets run over by the person behind you, who was NOT expecting a pedestrian and didn't even see them)
Run over the pedestrian and hope you can at least stay in your lane and not cause a worse accident while you slow down
Okay so this has been a fun thing to watch unfold over the last week and I guess it’s finally reached here. Just like a game of telephone the argument no longer resembles the origin. There was a Reddit thread about it and tbf a lot of the Europeans on there were very confused as to why anyone thought they were going to walk it. Where had all this come from? Who was actually saying this?
So, Reddit being Reddit, had already tracked down the origins. Turns out there were some disgruntled Europeans that were unhappy with the fact that the train operator was price gouging the tickets that were usually $12 so that they were $150+ to get from the hotel to the MetLife stadium. Roughly 900m away (through a swamp). The European complaining was like “it’s 900m I’d rather fucking walk it”. Not that he was going to walk it, just that he was pissed off at the price enough that he’d jokingly consider it.
In swoops a blue check mark rw dude who, like the above, took him literally and explained swamps and how roads work in a very condescending manner (not like the above). The European response was so clearly sarcasm (paraphrasing: “I’m strong! I can make it across a swamp! I’m not paying $150 dollars for a 15 minute train ride”) but it went over the blue check mark guy’s head.
So he doubles down, insisting that they’ll all get run over on the I-95 and Europeans are arrogant and stupid. So what did the original guy do? After a bit of back and forth about terrible infrastructure he starts Smooth Sharking the blue check mark guy! No it’s totally fine! I’ve crossed big roads before! Swamps are nothing! Blue check guy does not recognise the sarcasm or the obvious rage bait so doubles down again.
By this time, it’s got enough traction that more Europeans show up to rage bait this one guy with stuff like “nah the whole Dutch fan walk is gonna walk alongside the I-95!” “You can’t do that you’ll get killed by trucks!” “It’s fine they can’t kill us all there are too many! Some will make it to the match!”
Of course it make blue check mark guy very angry and he started ranting about Europeans being arrogant enough to walk. He was also equating it with them not helping with that Special Operation Tango Toddler has going on, which like okay dude. But others only saw his rants about it and that began to spread. Once it reached TikTok and folks were making videos accusing Europeans of white supremacy (yes that is a thing that happened) it genuinely spun out of control to what we’re seeing now.
I don’t doubt some idiot Europeans have indeed tried to justify doing this, there’s one on this post (along with one person clearly smooth sharking. Like c’mon, circling grass and writing “path” is not a serious response, it’s rage bait) but the idea that “European football fans think they can walk this” isn’t real. No one has earnestly being saying they’ll do it. More people have been shocked by the dominance of car led infrastructure than have thought “yeah I can cross an 8 lane interstate highway.”
Tl;dr: This is manufactured outrage based on one guy getting smooth sharked because some other guy thought a $12 ticket suddenly being $150 was a bit fucking much for such a short journey and he’d rather walk than pay that.
Can we all chill out now?
Not saying these people are actually going to walk on the highway, or that I can speak for all Europeans. But:
I live near a soccer stadium. The fans actually walk from the public transit stop to the match. And they do cross/walk over the road to get there. In hordes.
It is a 4 or 6 lane (depending on where you cross) road. Max speed is 50 km/hour, but there is a bridge at one end and for some reason people think they need to build momentum to get to the top/forget to brake going down so the average driving speed is closer to 70 km/hour.
They still walk there.
(Also, it's not like there are no 8 (or more) lane highways in Europe)
ultimately the best way to prevent abuse is to organize society in such a way that everyone's needs are met wothout having to rely on a parent or employer or boyfriend or any one individual. obviously wont stop, like, manipulation or so on, but the ability to dangle basic needs over someone's head is one of the most powerful and consistant tools of abuse out there. if someone is able to just leave, and know that they will have access to food and shelter and clean water and education, that will enable so, so mamy victims of abuse to do just that.
really funny how like 10% of the comments are people going "nuh uh" and the remaining 90% are people going "this is literally whats happening to me/my mom/etc Right Now"
Besides reducing abuse and enabeling people get away from bad situationships, it would also encourage people to try to simply be more nice to each other. If you're not forced to stay out of neccesity, relationships (work/friends/partners) have to be built on something else. Like trust and enjoying the company.
Luis Camnitzer - The Photograph (1981)
The Screenshot (2014)
The Reblog (2014)
Bahahahaha love this
The Unnecessary Comment (2014)
The Revival (2026)
There’s an emotion only unlocked when you live in a house with multiple stories. I call it “the stair emotion” and it’s when you realize the object you need is on the other side of yet another trip up and down those goddamn stairs. It’s the closest I get to transcending the desire for material goods. Maybe I don’t need that notebook. Maybe I don’t need anything.
I've reached the point where cynicism is a major turn-off for me. You're not smarter than idealists, and you're not helping.
Funny that the stereotypical cynic is an idealist who aged out of it. In my experience, the reverse is true. I was an extreme cynic as a teenager and then I noticed how profoundly limiting it was, and also that "cynics are cool and smart" was a message that was being constantly reinforced by corporate media for some reason.
#yes! cynicism reads as very juvenile to me#and yes prev often stemming from teen pain
Yeah, like I see black-pilled people on here and my default reaction isn't "oh, these must be world-weary old warriors who've lost their faith in humanity", it's "these people are in their 20s and need a hobby"
Cynical people are toddlers who are throwing a tantrum because they just found out we're not going to the playground today. You gotta wait for them to scream their feelings out before they can get their bearings and go play in the backyard instead. This takes longer for some people than for others.
An early Halloween cartoon for Guardian Books
What I legit thought the punchline was gonna be.
but what if
fucking spot the difference game
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
