The first time Ilya prompts Shane to say something during sex expecting him to say more or please and he gets hit with a thank you he cums so fast his 14 year old self appears to him and goes .. quick shot, huh?

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@fairymotherfuckingprincess
The first time Ilya prompts Shane to say something during sex expecting him to say more or please and he gets hit with a thank you he cums so fast his 14 year old self appears to him and goes .. quick shot, huh?
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.
Reblogging to add amazing tags from @meta-theory
#this both makes things more fun and also is a really good analogy#because there are four types of system maintenance and that makes the term much more exact than the nebulous ''self-care''#and therefore much more helpful to those of us who uhhh struggle with nebulosity#for anyone curious the four types are:#1. corrective (to fix current problems)#2. preventative (to avoid future problems)#3. adaptative (to re-adjust to any changes)#4. perfective (to work towards a better system)#I really like this idea I'm gonna make a checklist
This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....
ICU nurse x ER nurse Hollanov
Shane: *picks up the phone* ... ICU?
Ilya: Hollandeerrr!!😝 Very important question for you– are your IV pumps running?🤔
Shane: ...yeah?
Ilya: ah, well you should probably go catch them, yes?
Shane: God fucking damnit. Im hanging up.
Ilya: Nooooooo, i have patient for you, sepsis☺️
Shane: ugh, are you serious? My shift is almost over.
Ilya: yes sepsis is serious, they teach this in nursing school Hollander.
Shane: go fuck yourself Rozanov... anyway, so this patient-
Later - patient hand off
Shane: what the actual fuck is this?? (He lifts the patient's arm, there's a 24G IV in their thumb, it's almost horizontal for some reason. It's connected to three different tubes all running perfectly but tangled up with eachother and the EKG cables. Something wont stop beeping – the pulseoximeter– it's disconnected)
Ilya: i have brought you worse and you know it.
After Ilya stays in the cottage that first summer, something shifts in a way that scares Shane. He's used to getting completely wired around Ilya: each hookup night meant falling asleep no earlier than 3am, either because they were all over each other until the late hour, or because Shane was pacing around his hotel room, unpacking what just happened.
But now, he gets so tired whenever Ilya is around. His eyelids start to droop and, even though he's spent days or weeks looking forward to reuniting with his boyfriend, all he wants to do is fall asleep in Ilya's arms.
He decides to go to the doctor for some labs, checking for conditions that would make him fatigued. Words like leukemia and lupus came up on his Google searches, so he braces for the worst.
"Everything is perfect, Shane," his doctor tells him over the phone a week later. "But, you know, if you're worried about it, you could talk to a psychiatrist."
He makes an appointment for the next day with the first psychiatrist he finds. He explains the issue again: extreme sleepiness, maybe even narcolepsy, if Web MD is right. After more prompting, he specifies that this happens specifically around his partner.
The psychiatrist smiles at him. "Do you know much about nervous system regulation?" she asks gently. When he shakes his head, she explains further. "There are some people or settings that cause our nervous systems to feel calmer, and, especially for people who spend a lot of their lives in a state of fight or flight, those soothing feelings can make us tired and sleepy. Maybe your body finally feels safe and able to rest."
He doesn't tell Ilya about this until months later, and he's met with a loud squeal and a thousand kisses on his cheeks, jaw, forehead, and collarbones. "I love being your safe place," Ilya says.
When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.
Wait that’s actually really good, gonna pop this out of the tags
Not the citrus scale I was looking for but I like it
awesome fucking picture from netflix avatar that they decided was good enough to put out on a press release
exclusive new pic from season 2 of avatar: the last airbender
not she berry or he berry but no berry
and that is berry good
Here's a portrait of Dame Aylin from Baldur's Gate 3, started it a long time ago and finally got back to it last night. I miss playing BG3, wish I had more free time now to at least finally complete the third act. This one is just a little treat for myself while I try to finish all my commissions and charity projects. MY TIP JARS HERE ❤️🩹
Shane Hollander is a jock, Shane Hollander does not wear anything but athletic wear, Shane Hollander does not have a skincare routine.
Shane Hollander routinely uses sunscreen(for safety against skin cancer) and washes his face with a sensitive skin friendly soap in the shower. He uses the same bar for his entire body.
Beyond that his smooth skin is entirely coincidental. Ilya is very jealous of this. Ilya wears hair products, styles himself meticulously and has tried multiple skincare routines. None of which are giving him the supple skin he desires.
The first time Ilya goes to Shane's real apartment and not the sex condo he is outraged by the number of unused samples of skincare products, mostly because these brands are choosing to work with Shane when he knows for a fact that Shane does nothing to properly take care of his skin.
Shane's bathroom sink is barren.
Shane *enters Ilya's bathroom*: why do you have so much clutter in here
Ilya *outraged*: is not clutter Hollander we did not all climb out of womb and become world's prettiest man by accident
Shane *having no filter*: why do you bother with it if it doesn't work?
Ilya: 😭
you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old
#myshane loves the pwhl and the pwhl loves him back. in montreal, he would go to every victoire (triomphe?) game that he could given his schedule. he has jerseys and gets wedding invites and the entire roster's numbers in his phone. they adore him and he loves being around people who share his love of hockey without being boisterous dickbags
this leads to a full fledged uprising when shane gets run out of montreal though. they're so pissed off because really?? you got rid of your best player because he's GAY? the victoire no longer even associates with their nhl equivalent. it doesn't exist in their minds. meanwhile ottawa's pwhl team is already best friends with the centaurs and is just excited to have another addition that happens to be shane thee hollander
it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library
its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times
The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3
I LOVE LIBRARY
WE LOVE LIBRARY USERS
David Hollander Headcanon:
One of the best defensemen at McGill. Absolutely a beast on the ice. Very much of the old school style of hockey and we could even throw some absolute knockers of foul language and aggression. Imagine Shoresy back in the 80s. What an absolute pest he would have been. Shoresy is essentially what I imagine David Hollander to have been like in his college years at McGill.
And one day, they’re playing a final round match. The pressure is on to succeed. Someone managed to land a punch on him which knocks his canine and a bottom tooth out. His mouth is full of blood.
He’s pressed against the plexiglass. Yet when he opens his eyes, there’s a beautiful but fiercely shouting Japanese girl in a McGill sweatshirt shouting at him to get the guy in the first row. Knock his ass out. He clenches and fist. And roundhouse punches the guy out. The ref pulls him away and he’s in the sin bin for 5 minutes. Damn bullshit. However it gives him an absolutely amazing view of her straight on shouting at the referee. He’s never seen a gal more passionate about hockey.
5 minutes later, he’s back out on the ice. He heads toward her. Completely ignoring the game.
“What’s your name?” He shouts as everyone is shouting at him to get back in the game.
“What?!” She shouts back.
“What’s your name?!” He shouts again.
“Yuna! And get your ass back out there Hollander!”
“Yuna?! That’s a pretty name! If I score one tonight, will you go out with me?” He hopes she will.
“If you win the championship, I’ll marry you!” She shouts, urging him to get back to the game.
“I’m going to hold you to it!” He grins, mouth bloody and missing teeth.
He skates back into the game smoothly and tosses an assist to their center. He glides across the rink, focused, like never before.
He plays the best game of his life right on that rink.
As his teammates cheer and celebrate, he skates back to where she’s sitting with her girlfriends. They’re all excitedly screaming and jumping.
“Hey” he waves.
She comes up to the plexiglass, closer. God she’s pretty.
“Hey Hollander. You played a great game even though your backup line was terrible. Can they even spell puck?”
“We’re hockey players. Some us were simply born in the ice rink.”
“Uh huh.” She raises a suspicious brow.
“So you did say if we won the championship you’d marry me. We got three games till our wedding I suppose.”
“You know I was just joking.”
“I wasn’t. I’d treat you so well if you let me.”
“Steady on Hollander. I think your concussion is affecting your brain.”
“What can I do in the face of true love but want to see where it goes. You ever look at someone so incredibly beautiful that you just want to strip naked and skate across the ice?”
She laughes. Thats an incredible sound.
“I'd French kiss a toaster if it meant i could wake up next to you every morning.”
“Hold on lover boy. You barely got my name and you don’t even know my last name.”
“Well I know Yuna is probably my favorite name in the world as of 15 minutes ago and whatever your last name is, I’d change mine to yours. I’d be so good to you I’d swear. I’d lick a puck if it meant I could walk you to your dorm.”
Yuna’s friends snicker behind her.
“Sure Hollander. You can walk me to my dorm.”
He excitedly shouts in excitement, skating in loops around the ice.
And that was the story how the McGill University Hockey Team won that year’s championship trophy and how David Hollander met the love of his life.
Funny enough, the local A/V club who was broadcasting the game managed to record the footage of that encounter on the ice and were kind enough to send it to the Hollanders as a gift when their son was drafted into the NHL.
The first rule of sewing is you can fix anything if you have patience, creativity, and a little bit of extra fabric! The second rule of sewing is AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
it's always "why do you pace so much" and never "how was the pacing was the pacing fun"
Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.
And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.
You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho
If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.
and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it