the lemon is in play 🍋

Hannah | 20s | she/her | UK

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[taraljc]

o fuck there's two of them now did they grow this one in a lab from a cutting?

[lethalbutterfly]

Obviously he made him out of chocolate. C'mon now.

[benedictsvestcollection]

uh oh.... @max--phillips is gonna wanna see this guy too.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ramshacklefey]

No IDs, but these tags got me in a huff:

So ok look. The point is not the flared leg by itself. These cannot be yoga pants. These are, and you have to understand this if you are too young to have worn them, BLUE JEANS. And this was the last years before all jeans were 70% spandex.

They were denim, and they weren't bell bottoms. They hung loose from the knee in a way that would make a wizard envious. We all walked around like we were wearing hakama. And they dragged on the ground. That was important. Ragged cuffs. If your jeans weren't so long that they had ratty cuffs, they were embarrassingly short.

And the thing about denim is that it's a twill weave and it's cotton. So not only does it hold a lot of water, it wicks. Walking around in these suckers on a wet day could get you wet to the knees even if you never stepped in a puddle.

Then you'd go inside and take off your shoes and try to avoid letting your freezing, wet, filthy pant legs touch your skin.

Yoga pants. Hmf.

[elodieunderglass]

people in cold climates would have a tide line of white marks around their knees (if they were normal height) in the winter.

From wicking up road salt.

[tiredadventurer]

[tomsmusictaste]

Which came first; the music or the misery?

Fall Out Boy || Dance Dance // I Don't Care // The Phoenix

[t4nku]

I legit needed to hear this

[binariesuns]

@pscentral event 49: literature ↳ THE LITTLE MERMAID (1989) dir. Ron Clements, John Musker

[iwhumpyou]

rewatched the entire PoTC trilogy on an international flight and I can't believe I forgot how funny it is.

Barbossa is the most exasperated character in any scene he's in, unless he's winning. then he's the smuggest son of a bitch on screen (he literally returns from the dead smugly eating an apple). but majority of the time, he's 'why am I the only adult here'. man rolls his eyes so much I half-expected him to turn straight to the camera.

when Will asks Elizabeth to marry him while they are fighting Davy Jones' crew, stuck in a maelstrom, and trapped in the final battle, the first word out of her mouth is "Barbossa!". she then continues by asking Barbossa to marry them, but for a split second Will's face goes like 'Barbossa? Barbossa?? I didn't even know he was on the map of this convoluted love quadrangle!'

when they're in Singapore and Sao Feng threatens the spy he found and Will, Elizabeth, and Barbossa all look at each other to confirm that none of them have snuck in a spy they forgot to tell the others about, before shrugging and telling Sao Feng to go ahead and kill him.

Barbossa's eyes just getting wide and wider the more weapons Elizabeth pulls out of her clothes. c'mon man, let a woman have her toys!

rewatching really gives you the full picture of how many people are scheming at any given time and how each person's schemes intersect with the others, even if they're nominally on the same side. everyone also gets So Upset when their scheme is foiled, accidentally or intentionally, by someone else's scheme, as though they themselves aren't scheming at that very moment.

Barbossa's iron balls. I'm sorry, this is the funniest dick joke in the trilogy that defines how many dick jokes Disney can stick in a movie before it stops being PG-13. Jack's reaction really says it all.

rereading this list I see it's quite heavily tilted in favor of Barbossa which I now realize is because I empathize with Barbossa way more than I did as a kid. I too am frustrated to be surrounded by idiots while I'm the only adult around. man just wants to eat his apple in peace goddammit. so he did a little mutiny and maybe some more murder and mayhem and also maybe unleashed a pagan god upon the world. the guy really likes his apples, is that a crime?!?

[teaboot]

How people get nicknames:

Recipient of a third-degree burn in front of witnesses. IE, "I won't take that shit from a man dressed like a ghostbuster"= "Gostbuster" or "Buster"

A distinctive personal feature or quirk. IE, "Have you noticed how that new guy is always eating bell peppers?" = "Peppers", or "That chick has a massive forehead" = "Forehead".

An embarrassing thing you said or did. IE, "Did you seriously call Dale "Dad"?" = "Junior", "Baby boy", "Sport"

A game of name-mutation telephone. IE, "Donny Clyde" = "Bonnie 'n' Clyde" = "Bonnie" = "Bon-bon".

Irony. IE, calling a tall person "short stack" or a particularly dour person "sunshine".

A 'wrong place wrong time' one-off incident. IE, "He spilled oil on his pants and had to borrow a pair that were way too big and Jim saw him with the waistband pulled up to his nipples and called him 'Parachute'"

A batman-style origin story but not in a cool way: "One time she hit a deer with the company car and when she called the boss to tell her she was crying so hard we thought she was dying" = "Bambi"

The incredibly rare 'admiration' nickname, bourne only once a millennia under the light of the blood moon: "We saw him lift a truck once so now we call him 'iron man'"

+ How Nicknames Stick:

Your fate is determined by The Counsel

You hate it

It's accurate

[notsomeoneyouknow]

This reminds me of an article about how callsigns in movies are inaccurate because they're too cool. Generally your callsign in the military is like "Bepis" because you once pronounced "Pepsi" wrong.

[teaboot]

^^^

[else-creates]

Some of the ones that I remember from different factories I've worked in:

"Bam-Bam" - Liam (I think, I genuinely can't remember his real name), he was heavy-handed and broke a few tools.

"Spud" - Sean....He had a head like a potato.

"Princess" - Mark, Came into work singing Disney songs one time after spending a weekend watching the movies with his daughter....He leaned into that nickname and started an "I'll make a man out of you" chorus when a supervisor said some dumb shit.

"Shoulders" - Mandy, she wore power suits with the big shoulders and she was short....Imagine the tough-guy cats in Tom and Jerry.

"Dracula" - John, Romanian lad. He was from just outside Transylvania.

"Gusset" - Angie, she started working at the firm after her brother Gus, so they became Gus and Gus-ette, which became Gusset.

"Glass-Eye" - Steve, he didn't have a glass eye, he was just so boring that your eyes would glaze over if he started talking.

"Ragdoll" - Ian, just the scrungliest guy you ever did see.

"Gorilla" - Dave, shortened from 'Silverback Gorilla', he went gray early, had a hairy back and would work with his shirt off the moment the temperature hit double digits.

"Housecat" - Graham, he was a lifer, he'd been at the firm since he was 14 and was close to retiring. We were supposed to work 8 hours Monday to Thursday and finish early on Friday. Graham worked 10-13 hours Monday to Saturday and would come in for 6 hours on most Sundays. He did this for years, which led to a manager asking him "Do they even pay you, or do they just put a bowl out for you and wait for you to scratch at the door like a housecat"

"Frog" - another one whose name I can't remember, I might have never even heard it. He was Congolese, he spoke French....Which makes him a frog by proxy.

"Bomber" - Ryan, he was a boxer and it was his ring name.

[danielkanhai]

i hate when apps know that i’m screenshotting something. when i screenshot something, that’s me acting outside your realm of understanding, app. i am beyond what you consider the observable universe. you’re not supposed to perceive me. we don’t know when god screenshots the earth. we don’t know when he’s like, “okay i’m just gonna take a pic in case i ever want to add dinosaurs back to something later and don’t remember how.” and if we did, we wouldn’t act all smug about it like, “hey, you wanna share that post? you could just click here to share it.” no, man. you didn’t catch me. i screenshotted this for my own reasons. what’s next? i can’t take a photo of my computer screen with my phone out of laziness without being shamed by the printer i don’t own?

[artbymesa]

I just heard Project Hail Mary's genre coined as "Cosmic Hope" instead of cosmic horror, and I'm getting emotional all over again. I need to sit down. God do I love this story to bits.

[stjohnstarling]

I'm in your house picking your shy, uptight man like a lock.

[stjohnstarling]

Like this, btw. ⬆️

[stjohnstarling]

@anarchafemme Congrats on being the funniest person on this post.

[call-me-thaumiel]

Pros of wearing a cloak all the time:

Looks cool

Nobody can steal your phone from your back pocket

Billows epically when you walk into the subway and there's a train there

Billows epically when there's wind

You look like a wizard

You feel like a wizard

I once had a pair of little kids come up to me and ask if I was a wizard

Doubles as a blanket if you get eepy

Put up the hood to look mysterious

Hood fits over headphones

Hood fits over big hoop earrings (I don't have these but it's still a bonus)

Perfect if your sleeves are too puffy to fit into your coat

Great for people who have sensory issues with sleeves

Great conversation starter

Great weekend project (if you sew it yourself, which is probably cheaper)

Really warm in the winter (if you use wool fabric)

Keeps the sun off in the summer (if you use a lighter fabric)

SO MUCH FREE SPACE FOR EMBROIDERY

There is a good chance it will boost your self-confidence

Pretty sure it'll do the same with your self-esteem

(Nothing in this life is certain, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something)

(I think that's how the quote went)

Fuzzy

Cons of wearing a cloak all the time:

none

I have been informed that Edna would be upset

How to be able to wear a cloak all the time:

[socialistexan]

Babe wake up, new all time great image just dropped

[what-even-is-thiss]

Masculinity is a prison to you. I on the other hand am frolicking in it like a beautiful meadow.

[violetfractal]

not to put you on the spot, but this perspective is so foreign to me. could you list some things you like about it?

[what-even-is-thiss]

Smell of sawdust awesome

Arm wrestling

Singing with deepest voice you can

Love my dad <3

Strong muscles help friends

Gay

Craft beer yummy

Love my friends <3

[midnight-soulless-system]

I'll list some that I love as a black man, they aren't all inherently masculine but they can change when you're more masculine.

Going to the barber with friends and family

Flexing in the mirror. Everyone hypes you up!

Big hugs when a friend opens up

The nod of solidarity to other (normally black) men

Being naked. Not doing anything in particular but just chilling naked and being comfortable in your masculinity is great

RINGS!! I love wearing rings as a man, shit is awesome.

[ghostboyravenight-deactivated20]

Reblogging again cos I’d like to join in with a list of things that aren’t inherently masculine, but make me feel masculine as a trans guy:

Sitting on the front porch and watching the rain

Cooking dinner for your loved ones while listening to an album your dad used to play when you were 10 years old.

Wearing a band-aid

Sitting on places you’re not allowed to sit on

Piercing your own ears because the local cosmetics store charges £11.50 for a piercing and that’s fucking insane when I can just do it myself

CDs.

Watching cartoons on a Saturday morning

Loving my friends

[airagorncharda]

things that aren’t inherently masculine, but make me feel masculine as a trans guy (and especially slide me towards feeling masculine as a genderfluid guy):

hardware store

toolbox

fixing stuff

driving people places

good at hugs

wearing button up shirts or a-shirts

getting a laugh with a joke

paying the bill at a restaurant

carrying heavy stuff

buying groceries or supplies for friends

helping friends move

[jettonetrillion]

This shirt came to me in a vision

[pinnipetal]

It deeply saddens me that "pdf file" has become slang for pedo. Don't you dare disrespect my wife the beautiful portable document format ever again

[dualcasterjay]

and to the children in the notes saying we need this fucking baby talk to get around censorship online; there's been no credible evidence that any site other that YouTube (which will only demonetize your video, ftr) will actually censor or hide content that include words like rape, pedophile, gun, terrorist, etc. etc. and even if we take as a given they were (which, again, they are not), do not fucking comply in advance, you absolute fucking coward. and ESPECIALLY do not comply by altering your real life fucking vocabulary. don't let the technocrats dictate what words you say holy fucking shit dude!!!!!!!!!!!!

[politijohn]

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