so, by now most people who would be interested in seeing this video have seen this video.
moreover, post the emmy's there's been a resurgence of it's presence on the interwebs because louie won the emmy for the episode...and to his credit, he pointed out that it was a mistake that sarah baker did not.
and louie won the emmy...and so should the fat lady.
when this episode first aired i never wrote about it.
i never wrote about it because it was odd watching something that essentially could have come out of my brain...it's also strange seeing your real life struggle turned into something that is primarily, not entirely, but primarily serving the purpose of entertainment.
i feel like as a real life vanessa that this so perfectly pinpoints a lot of my dating experiences.
just like women in general are either the virgin or the whore fat women are either the fetish or the funny friend.
we all openly admit to the double standard about body image that happens in the media. but, what so very rarely gets talked about is the double standard of body image that happens in our daily lives. tony soprano isn't just a tv character, he's half of the dads of the kids i was raised with, barring bleach cleanings and sociopathic murderous rages.
this is how things work. this is why women like me grow up to expect inconsistent double standards. this is why so many women become complacent and unable to decipher the difference between how they are treated and how they deserve to be treated.
i have found that primarily (clearly i know exceptions) one of two things happens for my plus sized female friends.
either they end up in relationships with men who don't treat them the way they deserved to be treated. like somehow the plus sized woman should be grateful that a man is paying her attention that it negates his treatment of her.
or she's single. sometimes painfully so.
sometimes i really am thankful that i've been plus sized for my entire adult life. because of this duality and because of my fierce inability to see myself as lesser than my weight helped form and shape me. i am strong, independent, funny, smart, weird, and a bevy of other things that i love.
my weight has also taught me that people are assholes...and while i am inherently deserving of love it seems that most men are perpetually in fear of looking past a physical attribute to see the person inside. which is fucking bullshit.
but, for me, i would rather be single than allow myself to not be loved well.
women's obsession about weight and size isn't confounding when we live in a society that associates a number with self esteem.
recently i went to go see an intro show for a too much light makes the baby go blind.
one of the plays was a woman standing on a scale turning around and writing the number on the wall. it incensed me. first of all, without negating any possible weight struggles this woman may have, i just felt like it was lazy. it was uninteresting. oh, you weight 127 lbs. great. tell me why you even FUCKING CARE ABOUT THIS. it is bad art. bad art to define yourself by a stupid number and have no context as to what that number means.
i had to fight the urge to stand up and just say, 'no'. i refuse to accept that this is the best art you could create. i refuse to accept that this is how you define your art as well as yourself.
may more vanessa's emerge.
may we raise our young men and women to affirm all bodies.
may we stop saying fuck your beauty standards and start saying change your beauty standards.
may we promote health and enforce that health and size are not the same thing.
may we rejoice in what our bodies can do instead of focusing on what they look like.
may all body shapes, races, genders, et al be more evenly represented in the media and in lour every day lives.
may we move past all of the bullshit.
oh, and in case you don't want to watch the scene but wouldn't be opposed to reading it, here you are.
in response to erikadprice 's comment.
oh, yes! hopefully it didn't seem like i was negating her right to have body image issues. everyone is allowed that, obviously. i just thought the way in which she constructed that play was grade a, fried, bullshit.
