Paladins Rock

Joe, He/Him, 24

[joebob6448]

I wrote a story about humans and aliens meeting for the first time, and the political Footsie-Doodles which transpire. If plausible sci-fi, politics, and social intrigue are your thing, consider giving it a read Pax Incorpora

[aenreth]

generator link

[redsixwing]

[anidlecuriosity]

I have been insulted

[creepyscritches]

[wizard-email]

sometimes dnd archetypes annoy me because like. at the core of a paladin oath it's being so dedicated to something it gives you superpowers

they're not christian camp counselors or cops they're fucking autistic

[wizard-email]

I know this is a meme but Paladins are genuinely one of the most flavour-rich classes in the game.

An oath is a fascinating cornerstone of characterisation simply because a person, for whatever reason, has been driven to condense their permanent identity into a few words. It's this immovable pillar of their character magically anchored to the core of their being, and what's more? It's by choice.

You don't fall into a Paladin oath the way you might with a Warlock pact & nowhere does it say an oath's power has to be granted by another entity.

Every character has a core, but Paladins chose theirs. Taking an oath is looking at one thing, anything and going this. this is worth it. I will take this into myself and swear never to stray from it and it will inform everything I have been and everything I am now and everything I will become in the future.

Imagine loyalty so extreme it produces its own divinity and tell me that isn't worthy of a story.

[wizard-email]

via @wizardpotions

Once again I bear the burden of the only person who has been right about anything ever

[joebob6448]

Paladin of the color Indigo Blue and Wanting To Learn Everything All The Time

[ironychan]

TIL astronaut Jack Schmidt discovered he was allergic to moon dust, which is a thing millions of other people have probably gone their whole lives never knowing.

[ironychan]

Imagine being one of only twelve guys ever to have the honour of walking on the moon and then when you get there you're allergic to it.

[sanctferum]

NASA scientist: you’re back early

Jack Schmidt: moon’s an allergen

NASA scientist: ...what?

Jack Schmidt, loading an epipen and climbing back into the shuttle: moon’s an allergen

[kesonafyren]

if one in twelve humans who have been on the moon was allergic to moon dust, that’s either a one-in-a-million chance or a VERY common allergy

[haltraveler]

The fact that it’s such a statistically useless sample is DEFINITELY driving a handful of very specialized scientists absolutely crazy

[squeeful]

oh this one i know! he's not actually allergic and he's not a statistical outlier. all twelve astronauts reported symptoms after stepping on the moon because lunar soil is fucking nasty to human (and presumably most complex life) biology. moon dust is like inhaling asbestos. it's very fine, chemically reactive, and will hang around in your lungs for months, like a shitty inhaled cloud of glass. which, as it's mostly silicon, it kind of is. glass powder that is ripping up your airways and possibly your dna. see again: like asbestos

[adhsea]

[silver-tongues-blog]

i cant believe the moon is made of asbestos

[joebob6448]

Remember kids: Everything in life is a carcinogen if you blast it with enough radiation

[jayrockin]

I’m watching a playthrough of Mass Effect. Anyways here’s the Runaway to the Stars species lineup as furries humanoid aliens. The bug ferret is average human height.

[jayrockin]

Someone asked what Bip (shipboard A.I. of the Runaway) would look like in Mass Effect, land of sexy holographic A.I. user interfaces.

No holograms in RttS because Bip would only use their body projections for evil.

[chickenfarmersan]

[alamuts-lair-of-madness]

At least show us the bison!

[chickenfarmersan]

[zdravomilla-deactivated20220114]

The best update.

[milqi]

wholesome and true - do not mess with the wildlife

[paravili]

So I got back into Apex Legends….

[nothing-more-than-hot-leaf-juice]

Iroh: so Toph, what are your goals in life?

Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu

Toph: I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it 

[probsjosh]

King Boomie, having exactly zero limits:

[theotheristhedoctor]

Unstoppable object meets immovable force

[gaangarang]

[Toph eventually slips up and is captured by the city guard force. Instead of being imprisoned or exiled, Toph finds herself being given audience with the King of Omashu.]

Bumi: Well, well, well. It seems I have finally met the troublemaker who has been causing such chaos with my rail systems.

Toph:…

Bumi: I must say, I am thoroughly impressed with your earthbending abilities. You remind me of myself when I was a lad.

Toph: Get to the point.

Bumi: I see great potential in you, Toph Beifong. I want you inherit my title once I am no longer fit to rule.

Toph: Wait what the fuck

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

Why wasn’t this Toph’s future instead of becoming a freaking cop. This would have made so much more sense. 

[gallusrostromegalus]

My favorite part of this is “when I am no longer fit to rule” because

1. Implying Bumi was fit to rule at any point

1.1 except maybe in the sense that he was completely shredded

2. That he has no plans to die, (nor would death necessarily make him unfit to rule), but that he apparently intends to like. Tuck his arms and legs into himself and just roll off into the sunset.

3. Given that the Earth Kingdom has an actual ruling family that causes some drama in LoK, Toph continuing to cause monarchy confusion is both 100% in character and fucking hilarious.

[definitelynotaminion]

Toph takes over as King Bumi the second and everyone is like “no that’s not how inheriting works” and Bumi is like “No no she’s right, I did say “inherit my title!”

[aromantic-angel]

When toph is no longer fit to rule, she instills bumi (Aang’s son) as her heir and he is known as bumi 3.

[catflowerqueen]

Her first act as ruler is to ban herself from Omashu’s transportation system, thus fulfilling one of her life goals.

[muslimgirlwithissues-deactivate]

This is the most glorious thing I’ve ever seen. A masterpiece. Pure genius. I love it.

[2andahalfcatastrophes]

I think abt the left 4 dead 2 graffiti so often. Like they really had the human condition nailed huh.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

these are tumblr posts

[joebob6448]

The raw energy of “No zombie is safe from Chicago Ted” makes me proud to be a Chicagoan.

[reachartwork]

commissions open

hello everyone, i am a physically disabled queer artist trying to handle medical costs, bills, and food for me and my similarly ill boyfriend, as we have basically no support net. the bills keep popping up every time we think we can store more than a hundred dollars or so so i'm opening up commissions. here are some examples, more details under the read more (tl;dr $20/hr, 1 hr per image minimum, some discounts possible)

my going rate is hourly at $20/hr, with a minimum of 1 hour per image. images that are more specific or complicated will generally require more hours. people requesting mecha, monsters, environments, or stuff for a tabletop campaign can reap the benefits of a 25% discount (to $15/hr). if you would like to request a large (> 4) quantity of images or are on a tight budget we can discuss bulk discounts and/or charity cases.

[thebookworm0001]

[inneedofdonuts]

His energy is unmatched

[61below]

This is like, the pipe organ of bonking your siblings with the empty wrapping paper tube 😍

[haylestorming]

[Video description: a TikTok from @snubbyj showing a person playing “Mamma Mia” by ABBA on the RimbaTubes, an instrument made out of PVC pipes. The person uses paddles to whack the tops of the tubes and looks very happy. /end description.]

[d4gm4rs]

nimrod warmup 

[joebob6448]

The prodigal son returns

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[cannibalfilmphd-deactivated2023]

That right there is a good solid burger patty with the intriguing addition of middle eastern spices 👀👀👀 (and as we all know variety is the spice of life, and spice is the variety of food.) I’m also intrigued by how she put the patty in the pita(?) which makes it a sort of burger panini. It looks good and I am going to have to try it.

[raindearreindeer]

I want to make this for my family, but my mom’s pretty iffy on beef that is anything but well done (dry as fuck) so I’m wondering how to cook it throughly enough without burning the bread.

[vergess]

You can cook it in very thin pita with a thin layer of minced beef/lamb so that the meat is cooked brown all the way through in only 1 minute per side.

But also! Red Meat is "Well Done" at 160F/72C (white meat is 165F/75C). Bread actually doesn't even toast until 255F/123C!!

So, if you make the full size patties in a frying pan on a low-medium heat, or an oven set to 300F/150C, it will take about 20 minutes to cook instead of only 3 minutes, but it will DEFINITELY not burn the bread, and the meat will be VERY well done.

Here is the oven based recipe I suggested elsewhere on the post

Kafta in pita - Taste of Beirut

The first time I had this dish was in Lebanon when a childhood friend took me to a restaurant called Taaj El-Moulook (meaning The kings’crow

@bananafosters In case you are interested also!

[qqueenofhades]

Idk man, 2022 didn't fuck around?

The Queen dies;

Jair Bolsonaro loses in Brazil, and decides to go away WITHOUT trying a coup (this was not a given)

Putin gets his ass kicked in Ukraine, the world comes together to oppose him;

The GOP's much hyped "Red Wave" in the American midterms is a Big Lol; now they have to contend with the Talented Mr. Santos and the constant clown show that will be a Republican House and Kevin McCarthy trying DESPERATELY to get elected speaker;

The Democrats kept the Senate and even added a seat, while capping off a year of big and meaningful legislative accomplishments; hence if certain unnamed SCOTUS justices snuff it in the next two years, they can fill that seat;

The Tories, after an absolutely laugh-so-you-don't cry year of absolutely surreal comedic incompetence inflicted on the people of Britain, are an average of 26 points behind in general opinion polls;

Sex trafficker and all around miserable misogynist Andrew Tate tries to pick a fight with Greta Thunberg, self owns to an amazing degree, is now being held in a Romanian prison for another month after stupidly giving his location away via pizza box;

Former Pope Benedict XVI, aka a decades-long enforcer of sexual abuse coverups in the Catholic Church as well as various other reprehensible moral positions, kicks the bucket (on the last day of the year)

A new climate deal was made;

And so on.

I mean, various other bad things very much still did happen, and it was a tough year for a lot of us on a personal level, but this is the first year since probably 2016 where it feels like there's actually a bit of hope for the future on a big structural level, and I appreciate that.

[joebob6448]

Here's hoping that things grow a bit saner in 2023. That year will be big for implications of the world, and 2024 for the US in particular

[d4gm4rs]

went crazy for an an hour and a half and made this 

[wumblr]

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vengabus sandstorm

[gusgoose69-deactivated20260127]

wow that really sounds

[geeksofdoom]

wow that really sounds

[moth-wizard]

[paravili]

Commission for an anonymous client!