Flawed @kyrianna - Tumblr Blog

At nights like these, I pretend that I'm dead.

My body has no soul to move, the dead has no tears to cry.

Open eyes can look nowhere but up as they stay unblinking.

Thoughts are just sparks.

The world keeps going on but I can not care, I can't.

My mother prioritizes other people's feelings and needs over mine all the time and then dares to ask me why I am so full of anger. After that, she proceeds to devalue my feelings.

She doesn't ask "why" to understand, she asks just so she can invalidate them.

Mothers like her always do.

I don't know why I'm so full of hate.

I used to say I couldn't "hate"

But now it feels like I never get a break from it.

Sometimes I hate myself for hating everything people like.

And some days I hate that I hate people.

Other days I just hate.

It lets you know when it's coming you know.

Your heart beats a little bit faster,

and you start to clench your teeth at night,

then it feels like your emotions are draining,

at last you become unable to function.

Knowing I will never live a life like we see in those books and movies makes me seriously depressed...

Like...what's so special about my life? What brings out my emotions?

Literally nothing.

Every goddamn day is the same as the one before it, days are blending together and I'm losing my mind.

This pit of despair is so deep

the sky is nowhere in sight

"Sometimes I wish I could fly

Thorough a secret trap door into another life"

"Bury my head in the sand

I don't wanna grow up"

"You think your walls protect you, lock people out...

But don't you think they also lock you in?"

"I won't hurt you." he, somewhat convincingly, claimed.

"You know what," I started "they say human brain is very good at recognizing patterns. And dare I say, I'm getting awfully good at it!"

I could see the little, confused frown slowly appearing on his face.

"What do you mean?" he asked after a moment of silence filled with question marks.

I sneered at his stupidity.

"I'm saying I've heard that before. Countless times." I sighed as I turned away from him "Now leave me alone, I hate wasting time."

quotefeeling

“I think it’s important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back.”

— Paulo Coelho

quotemadness

“If we’re going to talk, then let’s talk. Forget about what is polite or proper and delve right into what is sincere and honest. Lead me down through the labyrinth of your true, spectacular self. I am not interested in pleasantries. If you want a conversation, then let’s get lost.”

— Beau Taplin

revengewitch

But What If?

Sometimes I think…

What if the fanfictions we’re writing are actually coming to life?

Because the universe is a weird and interesting thing, we don’t know if it’s real or how realities come to be. Maybe our own universe is a figment of someone’s imagination and we came to life out of someone’s willpower and love of a TV show we don’t even know about. Hence the plot-holes in history, unexplained events, vanishing people…

So what if we are creating big or small universes every time we write?

What would happen to your favorite whump character?

What would you do, when you realize, their universe is literally in your hands.

But you don’t know that, do you?

They say you can't live without hope, I say you can't live with hope.

Constantly wishing for something and getting disappointed over and over and over again can't be possibly healthy for anyone.

Nonexistence is a weird thing to wish for.

If you were in a game, you wouldn't want to throw all that process you have made to trash.

But in real life, you couldn't care less.

Isn't that just interesting?

thevvs

Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear.

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