Linguistic Gunk

[paperfury-deactivated20260224]

Girls don’t want boys. Girls want to glide down ladders in their own private library while their red cloak flutters behind them, owning swords and many chocolates, with fast WiFi at all times.

[fictionalcharactersaremyreality]

i cannot stress this enough

[the-knights-who-say-book]

when i grow up i want to be a library goblin. i get paid to wander the shelves and be discovered curled up and reading in unlikely places, perhaps hissing if i am interrupted in the middle of a good part. why would a library pay for this service you ask? because it will add to the ambiance next question

[cheshireelims]

I need this movie in my life now.

[ashleybenlove]

This would make an amazing ask game, y’all. Someone put a movie/show into your ask and you play keep the human and cast the Muppets. 

[audreyhepbuns]

[iraffiruse]

[schrodanger-deactivated20150716]

MOTHERFUCKER

[freyfromthea]

are you satan

[shiny-things-i-found]

GET IT THE FUCK AWAY

[erinburr]

Best April Fools EVER.

[tygermama]

okay but numbering your clippys on the back in small, teeeeeeeny numbers Make ten number them eleven through twenty

[elodieunderglass]

this has filled me with rage… so many missed opportunities

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[incorrectmarauders]

Police: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Sirius: Wait, what do you mean THREE?

Police: Yes...Three.

Sirius: Oh, my God-- What the fuck!?

Police: Sir?

Sirius: JAMES FUCKING FELL OFF.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Consider. A human wakes up in a strange medical bay, with an alien doctor standing over them. Turns out their shuttle crashed, and the alien ship only just managed to teleport the, on board in time.

By some miracle, the doctor explains, they escaped with only minor injuries. Some burns, a few scratches and “several small wounds. We’re not sure what caused them.”

“Wounds?”

“Small holes in your ear lobes. Possibly they were old wounds and unrelated to the accident, but either way, our doctors were able to heal them for you. There’s not even any scarring.”

The human pauses. Thinks for a minute. “Wait… you unpierced my ears?!”

[empressofthelibrary]

“I… Suppose we did?  Is that a problem?”

“Er, not exactly.  It can be redone. though it’s not gonna be fun.  But my people do that to ourselves on purpose.  It’s self-ornamental…  I don’t know the word.  We decorate ourselves with small stones and bits of shaped metal or plastic.”

“Oh!!  I’m sorry, that’s a fairly rare behavior among sapients.  Why, if I may ask?”

“uh.  It…  Looks cool?  I guess?”

“…My experience with humans is limited, but I gather that’s the reason for many of your behaviors.”

[elidyce]

*from the next bay over comes the anguished scream of your co-pilot*

“WHERE THE FUCKING FUCK ARE MY TATTOOS?!”

[beachdeath]

[emtmercy]

ICONIC

[sarahviahhday]

I was gonna put this in my queue but tbh I think it’s more relevant right now.

[cluegrrl]

Yeah.

[razed-stoner-deactivated2013020]

[lord-kitschener]

Sorry for putting pictures of boobies on your dash.

[neurotoxinsonline]

I’m not

[luna-reverie]

BOOBIES

[crescentbeams]

sorry guys, i usually don’t post NSFW stuff.. but this is a great pair of boobies.

[sleepysmilesamirite]

I love a bouncing pair of boobies.

[capricornian]

I respond to this gifs of cute boobies with a pair of great tits. 

[killer-queen-gunpowder-gelatine]

omg guys. I’m sorry I usually don’t post stuff like this.

[nubocorvi]

boobies are great

[tinsnip]

yeah, boobies are okay, but i know somebody out there is just dying for some cock.

[gwengrimm]

This is what tumbler was made for

[thegreenwolf]

This post just isn’t complete without a picture of the world’s largest pecker.

[daddyslittleoreo666-deactivated]

I love this

[ogress]

that is one huge pecker you got there

[grumpybeardruid-archive-deactiv]

Needs moar tits

[metachimera-deactivated20170726]

What this post needs is a little ass.

[nico-milo-deactivated20180414]

Sorry guys, I don’t usually post NSFW, but you gotta admit, that ass looks great.

[bguiles]

Don’t forget a little pussy

[regvetdream]

YES.

[lacquer-head-deactivated2020042]

Am turn on

[bladethevampier]

@laterovaries I thought you would like this :)  

[avenger-nerd-mom]

I am laughing so hard tears are streaming down my face so I HAD to reblog this… I couldn’t resist boobies, ass, tits or cocks…

[blueberrydatsuns]

What this post lacks 

Is a big, hairy, sopping wet beaver 

[harveyismybestfriend]

Sorry, not sorry.

[peskipixi]

I wll never not reblog the best NSFW post on tomblr. 

[lolawashere-deactivated20240904]

There! Pussy with fingers.

[lolawashere-deactivated20240904]

I found this again!

[cheesewhizexpress]

Well that escalated quickly

[aristos-philtatos]

The moment where Jess looks at Stars Hollow for the first time and “This is Hell” starts playing

That was an underrated moment of comedy gold

[jedavu]

[rocket-prose]

Classic animators doing reference poses for their own drawings. I’m in love with these images.

[auilix]

Part of the reason animators like to work alone, late at night when no one is watching.

[zelldas]

no other person on this planet was made for you, they were made for themselves. love is all about choices. no one is going to be perfect for you, and i think we need to stop raising everyone on the belief that someone out there, just one other person in the whole world, was “made for you” because it isn’t true. no one is made for you, besides you. other people belong to themselves. if you want to make it work with someone, it’s about hard work, understanding, compassion, communication, and choice

[loriniia]

Some more pictures from Kirs Vintergille 2019, taken by the fantastic Hanna Olsson.

[adzolotl]

you call it “really bad at darts”, I call it freestyle acupuncture

[sailor--spoon]

Sir I’m going to have to ask you to leave the bar

[fanonical]

mcgonagall: well, kids, what did we learn from our time at hogwarts?

harry: everyone is trying to kill me, always

hermione: disfiguring people i don't like with magic is a great idea

ron: never listen to hagrid

neville: beheading things solves all my problems

ginny: when in doubt, bat-bogey hex

parvati: don't date the chosen one

lavender: or his best friend

draco: my father shouldn't hear about this

goyle: setting fires in enclosed rooms - bad idea

seamus: BOOM!

dean: don't sleep in the same room as harry potter

luna: i learned where snape keeps his secret stash of firewhisky

[yinqors-deactivated20141206]

[nesft-deactivated20180108]

#CROW NO

Crow: CROW YES!

[notcuddles]

It’s actually impossible to measure how many fucks a corvid give because there is no device sensitive enough to register such a tiny amount.

[pardonmewhileipanic]

science/animal side of tumblr… explain to me the birb thing

[red3blog]

Tail Pulling is a behavior noted in many corvids. The practical application is to create a distraction that will allow the birb to make off with the target’s food. Imagine being in the lunch room and a large fellow has a Twinkie you covet. You can’t just take it from him because he’ll defend his Twinkie. But if you thwap him on the back of his neck and then dash around to snag the Twinkie while he investigates, you stand a decent chance of enjoying spongey goodness. This is basically that in birb form.

Except corvids don’t only do this as a distraction. Sometimes they seem to just being doing it to mess with other animals/birbs. But to use my lunch room analogy, there are times you might thwap someone sneakily on the back of the neck just for amusement. Primates exhibit behavior that appears to be just be annoying other animals for amusement. Given how intelligent crows are, its not unlikely that this is a manifestation of an innate desire to just fuck with someone else for the fun of it. Such as this from the link above:

[pardonmewhileipanic]

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRB KNOWLEDGE

[whitmerule]

BECAUSE IT IS FUN

[queenbloo-blog]

This speaks to me on a molecular level.

[askfordoodles]

birbs just wanna have fun

[huntersonthewingarchive]

Sorry to hijack a little, but to put it bluntly, corvids are also pretty BALSY. They are more than prepared to harass other huge birds of prey which could deal them a lot of damage. There’s plenty of cases of corvids ‘riding’ other birds as well. It’s often to harass the larger bird out of the area, but as @red3blog said, they quite often (in layman’s terms) enjoy fucking shit up for fun.

‘Where the hell is the seatbelt on this thing?’

I mean they deserve a medal for having such huge bird balls imo

Literally no fucks are given by corvids. Ever.

[daniels-ramblings]

@neurodivergent-crow

[neurodivergent-crow]

I haven’t seen this post in ages but it’s my fave corvid post.

[correspondingnerd]

Everything I learn about corvids makes me love these assholes more.

[queenofthefaces]

@ravensimaginaryfriends