Im not sure to what degree this might anger people, but I was having a contemplative conversation with my (admittedly very Latino) family&friends group and we sort of arrived at the conclusion that we couldn’t buy into the whole “Molly Weasley is an amazing cook” idea on the simple grounds that none of us had ever eaten well at a Brit’s table ever. I’m sorry, but are you trying to convince (coerce, really) me that the white (REDHEADED at that) British woman is meant to be making all these sumptuous ambrosial meals? Am I meant to suspend my sense of realism THAT MUCH? I’m not sure I can. Flying cars? Sure. Broom flying sports? Naturally. Wands and magic and runes and giant snakes? Most assuredly. A white British (did I mention redheaded?) woman making food that tastes anything other than bland? Inconceivable. You’re trying the foundations of my sense of reality. Nothing and nobody could convince me that Molly Weasley cooks with anything other than salt, MAYBE pepper, and I say maybe because we all know how that particular hue of individuals handles anything remotely associated to spice. If I were to transmitigate into the Wizarding World and directly into Molly Weasley’s kitchen, I would not be surprised in the least to find a ‘spice cabinet’ rather filled with mugs. No paprika, chili powder, no curry, no cardamom, no amchoor, no cumin, or oregano, or turmeric, or cayenne pepper, or saffron. Hell, I’d cum in my pants if I got a glimpse of a whole bell pepper before whatever authorities came and arrested me for being an illegal allienesse (another distinctly white British thing). I may be wrong, though, it’s been known to happen on occasion, usually hailed by a blood moon that’s laid curse upon my ancestry. If I am, of course I invite whatever Brit happens upon this thread to educate me, though I can’t promise I’ll be cooperative because I’ve spoken to many of the such that have tried to convince (indoctrinate) me that beans do, in fact, belong on toast when, in fact, they belong now where near the vicinity. I am, however, a bean snob and find even the Italian concept of beans on pasta less than desirable. Though one cannot blame the Italians for choosing to put every fucking thing on pasta for the sole purpose of not having to occupy a pan with rice, lest they give into the oriental practices they continue to maintain they never once came upon during the consolidation of the idea for pasta. In any case, that’s my position. I do realize this is slightly higher a word count that either you or I originally intended for so I’ll invite you to raise your complaints with my ADHD medication for only lasting four hours.
Best,
Someone with a spice tolerance (?).
