neutered vampire

Lan. they/them. currently just interview with the vampire brainrot, sometimes star trek, sometimes btvs.

[mewvore]

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[anywhoozles]

[3000s]

whats with the "fat chud" thing? why are we associating fatness with reactionary politics again?

[3000s]

not to be a conspiracy theorist but quite honestly it seems intentional and perfectly in line with the way fatphobia & glorification of anorexia/edtwt is making a big comeback lately, like, "lets find another way to make fat people an enemy by insinuating fat people are inherently right-wing 4chan nazis"

[3000s]

same as it ever was though like the "fat neckbeard" thing never fully went away either

[queen-mihai]

Our society is built on tearing people down and making them feel like shit. There's always gotta be somebody at the "bottom" and there's always somebody coming up with some stupid fucking nickname to make ANYTHING sound wrong

You know one that is the epitome of this?

"Tryhard"

Being good at video games earns you the label "tryhard" as if that's something bad and wrong to do

Please understand if every "fat neckbeard" shaved and hit the gym to lose a bunch of weight THEY'D JUST CALL HIM A GYMBRO AND CONTINUE TO TEAR HIM DOWN

It doesn't matter because the whole point is to force people to have low confidence

The only thing I can say is try to know that that's what this is about. No matter how much they try to say "health" or "safety" or "think of the children" the whole point is to constantly INCESSANTLY make you feel like shit.

Fat is fine. Wherever you grow your facial hair is fine. The thing that matters is BEHAVIOR. and trying to tear people down is absolutely disgusting behavior regardless of the identity of the person doing it

[oneheadtoanother]

[depsidase]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[mijacoge0]

im always quoting this tweet and am shocked and appalled that it has under 5k likes

[evidently-endless]

being offered ai at every turn

[helenvaughans]

[zitasaurusrex]

[ankle-beez]

surprisingly forward-thinking of jim henson and co. to make a female character in the 70's that's allowed to be loud-mouthed and violent and kind of overwhelmingly romantic and even a huge bitch at times and not have a moment where any character asks her to change

[ankle-beez]

going through all the muppet movies in a row made me realize that like. miss piggy was made in the 70's. and it's so rare even today to have a character like her. she's loud, she's selfish, she's funny, she's extremely vain, she's obsessed with romance, she's violent, she's kind of annoying, and there's not a single moment in any of these films where she's asked to tone down any of these personality traits. i am not joking when i say that miss piggy might be one of the best treated female characters ever written

[junglejim4322]

Nooo don’t worry my pyramid scheme is queer owned

[tepkunset]

I feel like simply calling JK Rowling a transphobe isn't strong enough anymore. Like. This is not your grandpa calling you by your deadname at a restaurant kind of transphobic. This is her wanting to eradicate all trans people (with an extra special hatred towards trans women specifically). This is her trying just that by personally funding transphobic hate groups with millions to push around laws in the UK. It is not hyperbolic to call her a dangerous, genocidal maniac.

It's not about cancelling a problematic writer. It's about literally trying to save lives by denying her as much money and power as possible.

[phinarei]

A lot of cis people are treating her like an actress who pushes diet culture or a singer who is too sex forward for their tastes. Like she's an inconvenience to their moral comfort instead of the existential threat she is.

She is not that.

She is Elon Musk. She is Trump. She is a powerful monster with the money to end lives.

Giving her money and creating a demand for her books by engaging in fandom should be seen the same way owning a cybertruck is seen. Harry Potter gear is in the same category as MAGA gear.

I need to see the same disgust and outright hatred of her that I see about all the evil men in her category. I don't know if people see her as less dangerous because she's a woman or if people are worried that hating on a woman will get their feminist card revoked, but she needs to be taken more seriously by a lot of people. She's a big name heavy hitter with more money than anyone should be allowed to have.

This isn't a scandal, it's a genocide.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

RIP Sisyphus he would've loved emails.

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[torstherapy]

[tinsnip]

Per @spoonstrek

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb