It's Crystal Clear and Uglier Than I Thought

Ex-libfem, gender critical. I recognize dysphoria as a legitimate thing, but the notion that it means you're really the other sex or something else entirely is merely a matter of how you interpret your feelings, and no one is obligated to share your interpretation. The Orwellian redefinition of terms for the sake of validation is getting real fucking old. Am adult, and old enough to remember a time before queer theory/gender shit really took off. Bi, mixed (grey), agnostic atheist and antitheist.

[mellified-moth]

my goodness what antiquated beliefs. Well, good luck out there, gramgram.

I'm assuming you're referring to my views on biological sex and gender identity.

Things that are just true are never antiquated, and reality is that we humans are a sexually reproducing, sexually dimorphic species, that roughly half of us are born with bodies that come with at least the potential, and usually the ability, to produce sperm and impregnate, and roughly half of us are born with bodies that have at least the potential, and usually the ability to produce eggs and become pregnant. You can only do one or the other, there are some people who can do neither, but no one can do both, and there is no third gamete, and no third sex chromosome: people with chromosomes beyond XX and XY are still just working with Xs and Ys. It's also reality that while our understanding of sex and how it develops has become more sophisticated over time, including our understanding of conditions that result in atypical sexual development, there has been no scientific breakthrough that overturns those basic facts.

Not that it would matter if there were, because even if sex really were some oh so complicated spectrum, that would have no bearing on the validity of the fundamentally metaphysical concept of gender identity, or the feelings based belief that you can be born in the wrong body, and that “identifying” as something is the same thing as actually being it (which curiously only applies in this context. You most likely recognize it as absurd in any other context {race, age, species, etc}.

What's actually antiquated are the gender roles necessary to make the concept of being transgender make sense, and which trans-identified people rely on to validate their identities. And I always love to point out the doublethink in which sex simultaneously has nothing and everything to do with being a man or a woman, because “transgender” can't make sense without sex as a frame of reference as well, and still doesn't actually make sense.

[thesinisterspinster]

[thehairiestfeminist]

[depsidase]

[cupcakesandmisandry]

[finnishrogue]

and if your rebuttal goes along the lines of "i know where the line goes for me, but i would never assume it on anybody else" that still plays into the same contradiction. you genuinely do not live in a vacuum, and any line you draw is going to have a ripple effect on the lives of people around you, especially when the cut off point perfectly aligns with the general expectations people already have.

"look, i know the stereotype is that men don't use mascara, but it just so happens that i also separately think that me stopping mascara use is a way for me to signify everyone else that i am a man, just, you know, personally, outside of the vacuum, and it has nothing to do with anyone else's decisions, although of course i know that this is how they also recognize the significance, because they are also raised in the same culture and are affected by the stereotype, but anyway, to each their own and this is just about me"

yeah no.

[estrellasrojas]

Young people are too invested in the comically unreasonable dream of having a full time job, making enough money to not waste their life thinking about budgeting for necessities, living in something other than a cardboard shoebox, and having like 3-4 friends who they actually like and who care about them. Instead they should be thinking about networking, producing content, optimizing workflows, and training their body into the perfect commodity

[gloomyrelaxing]

I’m here to say if a man is threatening to kill himself if you don’t give him what he wants it is perfectly valid to tell him he should die and that you don’t give a flying fuck.

[flowerlygirls]

i really appreciate the advice many smart women have thought to give: call an bulance to his location and tell his loved ones what hes planning to do, because its almost certainly a fake threat and hes gonna have to do some real awkward explaining to do not only to his friends and family but the first responders as well. and IF he should actually go through with it you can not be held legally responsible in any way for his suicide

[sichorean]

reblogging to add that when we had to give this advice out (and we had to do it a LOT, because women leaving is the biggest trigger for men to threaten suicide) is to also tell the dispatcher that you have said you are leaving the relationship and you are no longer interested in contact about or with him.

Because dudes have literally gone with the ambulance officers and given their exes info as the emergency contact, so an unwitting medical officer will phone and ask the woman to come in and bring personal items/be emotional support. And it can be really hard to tell the admin on the phone "look I know he's asked you to call me but this is a form of manipulation by proxy"

I called my abusers family multiple times about his actions, his brother, his mom, his sister, and eventually his elderly aunt and uncle. And it wasn't until I spoke to his sister that she said "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise he was seeing someone or I would have warned you. He does this whenever he doesn't get his way. He'll be fine."

By which point I had already "supported him" through several "suicide attempts" because I wouldn't dress up/perform a sex act/clean the house.

I was living in fear of standing up for myself in case he hurt himself. And as soon as I said No, he switched from suicide threats to domestic abuse.

[rabidwerewolfie]

I actually had an ex get mad at me once because I warned him this was a bad tactic to use on me, because you won't trigger my empathy.

If you actually DO it, I won't even be sad. Just disgusted. Even worse if there's a failed attempt.

And ironically, when I did finally tell him it was over and I never wanted to see him again, he said he was thinking of driving over a bridge. I told him to pull over and let me out first.

I guess that wasn't the answer he was hoping for. But, I never did see any news stories about a van going over any bridges.

[astrodickology]

How come when women feel unlovable and rejected they get depressed and when men feel like that they start killing people

[areiton]

Men are taught if they feel that way there is something wrong with the world. Women are taught there is something wrong with themselves.

[friendlyfreakazoid]

Astrology is bullshit but, like, it’s definitely not any more bullshit than any other spiritual/religious belief. I don’t like it when women make astrology a serious part of their beliefs and identity because it destroys their credibility and makes them looks stupid, but the fact that being a Christian doesn’t also destroy your credibility and make you look stupid is wrong. So when people say “astrology isn’t taken seriously because of its association with women” I do actually think that’s true. But not because I think astrology is real and just nobody realizes that it’s real because women like it. Astrology is definitely fake, but if it were a male-dominated belief it would probably be taken a lot more seriously, just like other obviously fake beliefs like all the major religions.

[muttsandmustelidae]

From the Nashville Zoo’s fb page! Here’s the petition, please please please take a moment to add your name (even if you’re not from Nashville!). If you are from Tennessee, contact your representatives and make it clear that the people do not want this data center. This is an AZA accredited zoo which is home to several species of critically endangered animals, we NEED to protect it. Make your voice heard!

[doingitatmybirthdaydinner]

David Sedaris’s opinion on the word queer, and a few dumbass fucking idiot comments.

one and only smart comment:

these people want to be able to claim "weirdness" and "avant-garde-ness" without having to actually define whether they are gay or straight or bisexual (probably because they're straight). but thanks for once again lumping same-sex-attraction in with weirdness and unconventional lifestyles when gay activists worked for literal decades to say "hey, we're just like you, we're normal people who just happen to like the same sex". it's funny how all these people all calling david sedaris old, and saying he just doesn't get it. well maybe you're young, and YOU just don't get it. you don't get how queer was and is used as a derogatory slur especially towards gay men, and specifically used to call homosexuality WEIRD and STRANGE, and so maybe david is confused why suddenly non-gay people are adopting the word to call themselves weird and strange for being kinky or having threesomes. YOUUUUU don't it, he gets it more than you, you gen-z spicy straight queer. "maybe I don't want to invoke exactly who I have sex with" okay then don't come out?? don't come out as queer then...? you want to come out at queer, but not tell anyone who you have sex with. good plan. so you want the social cool point and oppression points without actually coming out of the closet, sorry but you can't have both. if you don't want people questioning who you have sex with, maybe don't mention your queerness. that's like announcing that you're a very pious religious person, and then when people ask what religion you practice, you're like "I don't want to invoke exactly what religion I practice". then maybe don't bring it up?? and claiming that david "doesn't want to make space for anyone else"... yeah maybe he doesn't want to make room for spicy straight polyamorous kinksters to be lumped together with him as a homosexual man.... I think that's pretty fair! inclusivity is not always good and positive. exclusivity is not inherently mean, problematic or evil. we don't have to make space for everyone. you can tell most of these people are not actually homosexual or bisexual, otherwise they wouldn't have felt called out by what david said. whatever, have fun with your threeway, but leave gays and lesbians out of it please.

[dawnthekitty]

People ragged on hipsters so hard they ran under the LGBTQeverything umbrella so they could call people who made fun of them bigots.

[doingitatmybirthdaydinner]

I used to not get lesbians until I realized they aren’t just horny sex freaks, but also feel romantic attraction! 🥺🥺🥺🥺✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻#ally

women aren’t choosing to be lesbians for emotional understanding, it’s technically possible that a man could understand me better emotionally, but that doesn’t matter because I physically am incapable of feeling attraction to a man! the phrasing of this post is so weird, it’s like those people who think lesbians decide to try women after being scorned by men. it doesn’t work like that, it’s an innate immutable thing.

[gender-machine-broke]

Yeah I do think they see us as women giving women a try after being scorned by men because that’s how they are. Seems like it’s a relatively popular thing for straight women to lament “having” to date men (you don’t. No one does) and “wishing” they were attracted to women instead. But their idea of women dating women is just like. Chastely braiding each other’s hair and going to Sephora together because it’s taboo for women to have any active sexual desires at all in a society that expects us to be passive for men, but especially taboo to desire other women. That is literally the only thing that makes you lesbian or bisexual though. Not some innate “understanding” that all women share because lesbian women are not a monolith and we all have different personalities and life experiences. Plenty of people have been in bad/unsatisfying relationships where they didn’t feel understood by their partner! Regardless of sexual orientation. But, quite frankly, I find the implication that these straight women go into dating expecting to not be understood and to feel zero emotional connection to their partner alarming. If you feel like men and women are from completely different worlds and you could never connect with a man on a deep level, do not date them. Once again, you don’t have to. And giving up on men doesn’t mean you have to “try” women.

[immortalremnantriver]

Susana Trimarco disguised herself as madam and walked into brothels across northern Argentina, searching for her missing daughter among women trapped in sexual slavery and in the process, she sparked a movement that would free over 3,000 sex trafficking victims. It began in April 2002, when her 23-year-old daughter, María de los Ángeles Verón, left for a doctor's appointment in their city of San Miguel de Tucumán and never returned home. Frustrated by a police investigation she believed was deliberately sabotaged by corruption, Trimarco obtained the names of known pimps and sex traffickers from police files and launched her own search. She posed as a buyer interested in purchasing the captive women and girls - some as young as 14, who could be traded for about $800. One rape victim told her she had seen María drugged, with swollen eyes, in a trafficker's home that doubled as a holding place for newly abducted women. But by the time Trimarco could follow the lead, her daughter had been moved. Though María was never found, Trimarco's relentless pursuit transformed her into one of Argentina's most powerful human rights activists and forced sex trafficking onto national agenda. "The desperation of a mother blinds you," she says. "It makes you fearless." Through this dangerous work, Trimarco discovered the full scope of sex trafficking and corruption within the police and judiciary that kept women trapped in forced prostitution. "The police would hand [the trafficked women] back to the criminals," she recalls. "They used to say: 'Don't leave me. Take me with you.'" Trimarco ended up becoming the personal guardian to 129 survivors of sex trafficking, sheltering them in her home and helping them reunite with their families. Trimarco's relentless advocacy forced change at highest levels. Her work helped lead to first law, passed in 2008, making human trafficking a federal crime; the subsequent reforms have led to thousands of people being rescued from sex traffickers. These successes, however, have come with high personal cost to Trimarco: she has suffered many reprisals over the years including countless death threats, having her house set on fire, and several attempts to run her over in street. As more trafficking survivors and families of trafficking victims reached out to her for help, Trimarco says, "It came to a point where I just did not have capacity to help them all. That is when I decided to open a foundation." In 2007, she founded Fundación María de los Ángeles, a non-governmental organization focused on helping people escape from trafficking and lobbying for legislation to prevent it. Her efforts focused on her daughter's disappearance eventually resulted in trials for 13 people, including several police officers, in 2012; all 13 were acquitted, a ruling that prompted outrage by many and led to impeachment proceedings against three judges. In December 2013, Tucumán Supreme Court reversed acquittals and convicted ten of defendants, who received sentences ranging from 10 to 22 years in April 2014. But despite it all, Trimarco still hasn't found out what she wants to know most: what happened to her daughter. Some witnesses say she was murdered - although her body has never been found and others say she was taken overseas. Twenty-three years later, Trimarco's work continues in her daughter's name and for all survivors. Her foundation remains at the forefront of the country's fight against human trafficking, recently helping to dismantle trafficking rings in 2024 and 2025. In recent years, the foundation has expanded its role as a legal plaintiff in trafficking cases, ensuring survivors have representation throughout the judicial process. Now in her seventies, Trimarco remains internationally recognized for her work, though her search for answers about María's fate has never ceased. "Every woman I help somehow helps María," she reflects. "They represent hope in this new life of mine."

[victusinveritas]

Persepolis (2007). Mary Satrapi & Vincent Paronnaud

[vintage-bentley]

LGB people don’t need others to “affirm” our sexuality. We don’t need anyone to participate in our own understanding of ourselves. We don’t need surgeries, drugs, and other medical interventions to become our true selves. Quite the opposite: governments have used medical interventions to punish us for being our true selves. We don’t require that language be changed for us, other than simply expanding the definition of marriage—a legal definition—to include same sex relationships. We don’t try to convince ourselves and others that we’re anything other than how we were born. We don’t demand that taxpayers pay for anything related to our sexuality. This is all just off the top of my head…but there are so many differences between us and our goals, and the trans community and their goals.

[catchymemes]

[hirsuteandcute]

I'm just going to say it - body hair (and beauty standards in general) is truly one of the final frontiers of women's issues in the West. Too many women just love their gilded cage too much. It shocks me how virulently women will defend it. I barely open my mouth and the "well I like how it feels. it just makes me feel cleaner. sensory issues. I do it for me. feminism is about choosing (to conform)." brigade come rushing in by the dozens.

Well I don't like how it feels. I don't feel cleaner without body hair. I don't prefer not having body hair. But who will advocate for women like me, but me? For women who do like hair removal, they are advocated for every time they step out of the house and see 99% of the female population also conforming to that standard, or when they watch a movie and see all the shaved actresses, or view an advertisment, or open a magazine, or watch a music video, or scroll through social media, or walk down the streets without receiving insults and glares for having a completely normal bodily feature.

You genuinely can't even point out that hairlessness is a man-made standard without women losing their shit and acting like they are totally immune to propaganda they've been exposed to from birth. I'm so tired.