I can be the ship and its sailors
art blog(derogatory)

Janaina Medeiros
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor

shark vs the universe
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
todays bird
almost home
occasionally subtle

blake kathryn

Product Placement
RMH

roma★
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
noise dept.
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wallacepolsom

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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@mystsong
I can be the ship and its sailors
unpopular opinion: Vimes is kind of drama queen
Sam “held a burning hot coal until it nearly took the skin off his hand while maintaining perfect calm and eye contact with the asshole in need of intimidation Just Because” Vimes? Sam “sitting on the stoop with a mug of cocoa and a cigar, cautiously aware of every inch of the scene he’s building” Vimes? Sam “could just tear his sleeve to show the mark of the Summoning Dark but instead tears off his whole goddamn shirt” Vimes? A drama queen? Reaching a bit don’t you think
Yep, certainly doesn’t seem to describe Sam “pretends to eat poison as a power move” Vimes. Not Sam “buries an axe in the table in the Rats Chamber” Vimes.
I mean are we really talking about Sam “yes a whole room full of candles with wicks dipped in holy water is the best way to beat this vampire” Vimes, here? Sam “has fought bad guys on top of a speeding train AND a riverboat during a flood” Vimes, really? Definitely Sam “nearly gets shot in the head by a crossbow bolt that shatters his shaving mirror and then uses the bolt to prop up a shard of said mirror to finish shaving” Vimes we’re discussing here?
excuse me?????
vimes did not resign from his post in protest, observe the rest of the watch resign from their posts in protest, recruit them into a militia, sail to the country they were at war with, and attempt to arrest two different armies for disturbing the peace so you could sit here and call him a drama queen, as though drama was some myffic quality bestowed by an accident of birth and not the inherent right of every creatively petty and histrionic citizen of ankh-morpork
vimes is a drama public employee
Discworld Heritage Post
You pull up to the transmasc meetup and it looks like this
Highly unlikely to be of use but I want a card I can carry in my wallet that says “If I Die First In A Traumatic Survival Scenario I Want You To Know I’m Okay With You Cannibalizing Me, It’s Fine, Don’t Be Weird And Guilty About it”. And then on the back there could be like. A list of recipes n shit
To be clear, I don’t WANT to be cannibalized. It’s not my personal preference. It’s just that if I beef it out in the open somewhere and some poor starving fuck has to have a crisis of ethics over using the protein or dying in a hole, I’d want to some way to let them know my dead ass is rooting for them
New Hot Take: I Think An Organ Donor Card Counts In A Pinch, Actually
It's fine to disagree with the IAU about the definition of "planet"; however, if your definition includes Pluto but not Ceres, Orcus, Haumea, Quaoar, Makemake, Gonggong, Eris or Sedna, you don't actually care what a planet is – you just want the exact list of nine planets you learned in primary school back. Your cute little Pluto-including orbital distance mnemonic ought to be at least seventeen words long, and good fucking luck with the Q!
My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Orphic Palaces, Slandering Hungry Quaker Matrons Going Erotically Southward.
I appreciate that you included Salacia but not Charon – really threading the needle pedantry-wise there.
iy think any planetary-mass object should be called a planet. the moon is a planet. so are the galilean moons. ganymede is bigger than mercury, so whiy not? just because it happens to orbit another planet too? a star can orbit another star, so whiy can't a planet orbit another planet?
Sometimes when I'm feeling especially contrary I'll advocate for a definition of "planet" which includes the inner planets, the trans-Neptunians, and all planetary-mass moons, but specifically excludes Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.
“oh no, my audience has begun to guess the big twists of my story and are accurately predicting what will happen!”
incorrect response: write the rest of the story to be as twisty, shocking and counter to expectations as possible, regardless of whether this is a logical or satisfying way for the plot to go
correct response:
can someone elaborate on the “make hoax” and “post angry tweet about “leak”“ part. i’m stupid and don’t understand things
sure!
(you’re not stupid. I posted this thinking it would amuse a handful of mutuals who all knew the context and that would be about it, so I didn’t think about providing any other explanation. I had no idea it would spread this far.)
I’ll start from the very beginning just to be thorough. so this is Alex Hirsch, creator and head writer of Gravity Falls, a show which had a big focus on mystery, conspiracies, codes and ciphers, etc. the whole plot is kicked off by one of the main characters finding a mysterious old journal in the woods, which detailed all kinds of weird and supernatural things, but then ended abruptly with the author saying they had to hide the journal because they were being watched. the central driving mystery of the show, therefore, was the question of who wrote the journal and what happened to them.
now, the thing about Gravity Falls is that, while it must be said that the writers weren’t always quite as sure of their plans as we tend to like to think they are, it is very much a fair play mystery, with legitimate clues to what was going on. but the writers were caught off guard by how quickly the show attracted a dedicated audience, including a lot of people outside the primary presumed demographic, who started solving the clues faster than expected. so some of the fans were able to correctly guess who the author was before it was revealed in the show, and the theory started spreading. this put the writers in something of a panic, because this was THE mystery that the whole story revolved around, with ¾ of the show building up to the dramatic reveal in the middle of season 2. they wanted it to be a mystery that could be figured out, sure, but they weren’t prepared for people to solve it so far in advance of when it was planned to be revealed, which would have really taken away from the big moment. they weren’t going to change the main story itself, but having been caught unaware by how much attention the fans were paying, they wanted to up the ante and make the mystery more complex to solve going forward–but first they needed to buy some time and throw the fandom off the scent for a little longer.
hence, Alex’s plan as described above. they whipped up a fake shot that appears to give away the identity of the author as being another character in the show, put it on a screen in the studio as if it was a real animation frame, took a picture of it, and ‘leaked’ it online. it was initially decided to be a hoax (albeit, I think, presumed to be a hoax originating from outside the production team), until Alex posted this tweet:
…before quickly deleting it (though not so quickly that it didn’t get seen, of course).
it worked well enough to distract most people for a while, and wasn’t revealed as a hoax until a year later, when an episode aired that definitively proved that the supposed screenshot could never have happened, at which point Alex owned up to the whole thing as seen in the tweet above. by then the episode with the real reveal wasn’t far off, and while people did still work it out ahead of time, it was more of an “OH MY GOD I KNEW IT!” moment than a “booooooring, we’ve known that for ages” moment, which of course was what the writers wanted all along.
personally I find this a fascinating approach to dealing with the problem of spoilers, because it doesn’t affect the story itself at all; if you watch Gravity Falls today–or if you were watching it when it aired without any significant contact with the fandom–you’d never know about it. ultimately, the problem the writers were facing wasn’t that some people might guess the answer to the mystery–they never wanted to make it completely impossible to predict–so much as it was that they hadn’t designed the story to stand up to so many people working on the puzzle together, which resulted in a sort of total output of puzzle-solving ability that far outstripped the capability of any one solo human being. so their solution is something that’s very much targeted toward delaying that group problem-solving, without actually affecting the experience of any individual person watching the show.
plus, it’s very in keeping with the overall tone of the show.
and now you know!
if your audience guesses the ending of your story
don’t:
change the ending
do:
gaslight them
This is easily the most interesting take I've ever seen discussing why the older generations seem to struggle so much with the discussions and changes with gender identity, and I think it's absolutely worth reading.
Obviously it doesn't cover 100% of intolerant people, but I think it explains a decent chunk tbh.
“what’s the worst fruit” i hope you fucking die im strangling you what the hell is wrong with you. ‘the worst fruit’… has god not made all of these fruits in the same light???? cunt
Red Delicious Apples
Fun fact!
The vast majority of fruit started off tiny and barely edible, and was hammered into deliciousness through centuries of concerted horticulture.
This was made necessary because eating the fruit the old man makes induces sapience, and after the third or forth one you're hitting overdose territory (sapience is bio-accumulative and, in this instance, seems to fill a capsaicin-like role in limiting fruit harvesting to favorable seed propagators). So to maintain our fruit intake we were required to domesticate it out of other plant strains.
Even with the strictest controls we were averaging a NIMH-class incident every 18 months or so until we stopped experimenting with the stuff flat out in 1998, and if those mice say otherwise keep in mind they were fired with cause and have an axe to grind.
Benjamin Franklin freed Prometheus.
It was ultimately the thunderbolt that made Zeus. Not as a weapon, but as an idea. The thunderbolt was the mightiest weapon of the heavens, strokes of divine flame that brought down buildings and men alike. Zeus was the lightning, it was the symbol of his infinite power, which could strike from the sky without warning or defense.
Until June of 1752.
Thereafter, the lightning bolt was neither mysterious nor all-powerful. The might of gods could be thwarted with an iron rod and some copper wire. It could, and would, be tamed, yolked, and put to work at the command of the creatures that once trembled at it.
Prophecies are, after all, often obnoxiously symbolic, and it's hard to argue that a nation-founding(adjacent) womanizing libertine who plays with lightning in his spare time isn't at least metaphorically a child of Zeus.
Irony proved itself a double-edged sword, as Sisyphus's judge would be lashed to wheels without end with nothing to do but push.
Each year that passed, Zeus grew more hunched and gaunt, as Hephaestus walked taller and more proud. The eagle no longer came for there was no liver to take. Fire and writing, those were his gifts. The first technology and the means to preserve knowledge. He might have become god of science, but such a irony was too great for god or titan to take.
Yes, storms would still kill, lightning would still destroy. But there would be warning, there would be procedures, there would be explanations. A storm was more a beast than a wrathful king: a hazard to be managed with preparation and caution, not a sovereign to be feared and appeased.
Kingship, too, would find the next few centuries just as harrowing, making a reliable fallback domain all but worthless.
Zeus was dangerous still, certainly.
The way cattle are dangerous.
At least he had a lot of practice being a dumb animal thanks to what I think we can all safely assume was a kink.
Imagine our chagrin, however, when the new guy stepped in. Was it Hephaestus, as the patron of technology? Perhaps Hermes as the god of messages and communication? Athena then? Hard to say war hasn't had her day millennium.
Nope, you know it had to be fucking Plutus.
Hi yes hello it’s me the local wizard, and I- Ok well “evil” feels like a strong word but yes, that’s me. Anyway, I need your help. I know I stole away the kingdoms 12 princesses, that’s my bad. Listen, I didn’t think this through. It didn’t occur to me that having a dozen angry young women from early teen to early 20s and giving them giant powerful wings would be a bad idea.
I know I’m the one who cast the curse but it can still only be broken with true love. I’m begging you, somebody, please come and fall in love with these girls and make them leave, I can’t take it anymore, it sucks so bad. I can’t keep getting viciously bullied by one of the largest living species of waterfowl anymore. I’ve tried running away but they can fly so they just find me. I’m getting nothing done.
I’ll pay you, I’ll grant you wishes, I don’t care, please just come and fall in love with the mean angry women who live in my yard and hate me so bad
This is unironically a great game inspiration
Man. The "unalive" type of self-censorship may mostly be just perpetuating folklore? People are talking inanely just based on vibes on the great mighty algorithm?? Mannnn
I am laughing so hard I scared the cat.
incredible stuff happening out there
There's gotta be someone more qualified. I'm fucking begging you.
@evilwizard
don’t involve me in this…
@theshitpostcalligrapher ?
@facts-i-just-made-up ?
In the interest of honesty, which I value above all, I am not very tumblr famous and only have about 14 followers who aren't porn bots.
printers behave like that because the medieval monks they put out of work are haunting them
Some of my favorite quotes from Artemis ii so far:
"Copy. Moon joy."
"I have two Microsoft Outlooks, and neither one of those are working."
"Houston, if you could give me about 20 new superlatives in the mission summary for tomorrow that will help out my vocabulary a little bit, that would be great. Thank you."
“If you’ve ever seen the top of the spotlight of the top of the Luxor at night in Vegas, this looks like what it wants to be when it grows up.”
"To all of you down there on Earth... we love you, from the moon."
"We just went sci fi."
"It is so great to see Earth again. To Asia, Africa, and Oceania: we are looking back at you. We hear you can look up and see the moon right now. We see you too."
"We will always choose Earth. We will always choose each other."
“It’s a bright spot on the moon, and we would like to call it Carroll.”
this is genuinely breathtaking lmao
Yeah look the weird smut comments are totally out of pocket but I really can't get over "im more into dr.seus or self help books lol"
#do you think he's actually read dr. seuss or did he just hear "doctor" before an author's name and decide it sounded smart? (Via @shellys-apprentice)
Oh my god
Found the orginal thread and lost it at this