Oberlin Sexual Information Center

The Sexual Information Center provides Oberlin College students with at-cost safer sex supplies; confidential peer counseling; and recommendations and rides to local sexual health clinics. Come see us in Wilder 203 during our office hours: every day 4-6pm and Monday through Thursday 8-10pm.

[bianksy-deactivated20180419]

there was this awful post that became really popular on tumblr a while back that said something like “love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to” or something along those lines…and it was honestly very very concerning…that really isn’t good enough

that’s not what relationships are about at all and please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

relationships are about feeling safe, comfortable, and respected. you should feel at home with this person. you should feel like you’re best friends. you should be able to talk about whatever you want and to always feel secure and be able to communicate your feelings with this person

they’re not about giving or having “power” or about “destroying” anyone. they’re not based on negativity or fear. relationships should never be guided by power or fear, ever

you deserve so much better than that

[vivemarco]

[the-fernlion]

SERIOUSLY

"Well if they didnt look like thugs"

THE ONLY THUGS IVE SEEN DURRING THIS ARE THE ONES WITH BADGES

[naturepunk]

Bolded for emphasis.

[rosalarian]

If you’re a feminist against rape culture but you don’t see any problem with people telling black people to dress/act differently so as not to be attacked, then you’re one giant hypocrite. Clothing does not dictate anyone’s worth!

[deportallwhitepeople2k15]

If you’re a racist, you’re not a feminist.

[etiquetteforagentleman]

[pleasedontremember]

[redefiningbodyimage]

A racist woman is not a feminist; she doesn’t care about helping women, just the women who look like her and can buy the same things she can.A transphobic woman is not a feminist; she is overly concerned with policing the bodies and expressions of others.A woman against reproductive rights — to use bell hook’s own example, and an issue close to your heart — is not a feminist; she prioritizes her dogma or her disgust over the bodies of others. An ableist woman is not a feminist; she holds some Platonic ideal of what a physically or mentally “whole” person should be and tries to force the world to fit inside it.

An Open Letter to Caitlin Moran by Nyux (via vcrgal)

[esmre-blog]

Ten rape prevention tips: 1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks. 2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone. 3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her. 4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her. 5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her. 6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her. 7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room. 8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times. 9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you. 10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

Rape Prevention

Posted by Leigh Hofheimer under Prevention

(via lukeisnotsexy)

[sunbeamdaydreams-deactivated202]

Are You Being Gaslighted? TURN UP YOUR GASLIGHT RADAR. CHECK FOR THESE TWENTY TALLTALE SIGNS Gaslighting may not involve all of these experiences or feelings, but if you recognize yourself in any of them, give it extra attention. 1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself. 2. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day. 3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work. 4. You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss. 5. You wonder frequently if you are “good enough” girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter. 6. You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier. 7. You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases with your partner in mind, thinking about what he would like instead of what would make you feel great. 8. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family. 9. You find yourself withholding information from your friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses. 10. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself. 11. You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists. 12. You have trouble making simple decisions. 13. You think twice before bringing up seemingly innocent topics of conversation. 14. Before your partner comes home, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day. 15. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person—more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed. 16. You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don’t have to tell him things you’re afraid might upset him. 17. You feel as though you can’t do anything right. 18. Your kids begin trying to protect you from your partner. 19. You find yourself furious with people you’ve always gotten along with before. 20. You feel hopeless and joyless.

The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern (via autistpsyche)

The language here caters to a very specific type of relationship, but the information is applicable to any kind of situation, be it with a non-male partner, with a non-romantic family member, as part of a polyamorous relationship, etc.

[bestdamnbreakfast]

[oberlinsic]

"Mother Blaming" Is Bad Journalism, Shaky Science

The cumulative effect of media coverage on pregnancy paints a pretty warped picture: that pregnant people are the number one health threat to their future children.

An excellent critical discussion of societal standards for pregnant people's behaviors, as well as how these standards often ignore the structural oppressions that heavily influence the conditions of the pregnant person and how such attitudes are mired in racism, sexism, and classism.

[spacebonesart]

Triple discrimination threat. 

[shikarius-blog]

Dad’s gotten 1000% better talking about periods since we started using Shark Week euphemisms:

"Ah, it’s Shark Week?" = "Ah, you started your period?"

"Harpoons on deck?" = "Do you have enough pads/tampons/etc?"

"Chum stocks are holding?" = "Do you need chocolate/midol?"

"Supplies are low cap’n" = "Yes, please."

"What kind (of shark) is it?" = "How do you feel?"

"It’s a Nurse Shark" = "I’m fine/not bad"

"GREAT WHITE OFF THE STARBOARD BOW" = "FUCKING OW"

[oberlinsic]

Making Consent Sexy at Oberlin

What it's like on the campus where talking about consent is a priority.

Shoutout to an Oberlin student who got published on Cosmo! Speaking about consent on campus, including this super important quote: "We keep repeating this tagline: Consent is sexy... But consent isn't just something that makes a hookup sexier. It's what makes a hookup not assault."

Heyooo!

[thatdiva]

[k-pagination]

We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later. "I don’t want my ears pierced." "I don’t want any earrings." The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad. She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.” Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’ We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced. Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’ Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria. Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own. No means no, yeah, right. Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”

from "No Means Force" at Dave Hingsburger’s blog.

This is important. It doesn’t just apply to little girls and other children, though it often begins there.

For the marginalized, our “no’s” are discounted as frivolous protests, rebelliousness, or anger issues, or we don’t know what we’re talking about, or we don’t understand what’s happening.

When “no means force” we become afraid to say no.

(via k-pagination)

[plannedparenthood]

To: you

xoxo your birth control.

Totally loving these Valentine’s Day cards from Planned Parenthood Minnesota, North Dakota, & South Dakota.

[goshdarnbisexuals]

Hey, I'm just curious about the differences between "bisexual" and "pansexual". My friend and I were discussing this earlier and she goes by either, but I preffer "bi", and either of us don't recognize the gender binary, but I feel very weird being reffered to as "pan" (even more so than "gay", for example). I googled it and all sourcers were reffering to bisexuals as "only attracted to only male and female". So I'm curious: what would you say?

Hi!

If you take a quick looksee through this blog you’ll see that I have always been very vocal about the subject! Only bisexual people get to define besexuality, and for a long time we have been defining it as an attraction to our own and other genders. The “bi” in “bisexual” refers not to male plus female, but to attraction to genders like our own, plus attraction to genders different from our own. In other words, it’s the ability to move in two directions along a continuum of multiple genders.

All the sources you googled probably were not attributed to the bisexual community, which has long denied the idea that “bi” refers to male and female.There has actually been a lot of outcry recently over wikipedia’s refusal to change their definition of bisexuality to what the bisexual community actually says it is, which is a raging pile of bullshit. If you go in and try to edit the page (which I did. repeatedly.) there’s a little notice there that basically says “We see lot’s of people trying to change this but some other people also wanted to change it so we’re just going to stick with what we think it is lol ok bye”

This page is an excellent summary of why people who adamantly refuse to think of “bi” as meaning anything other than binary are wrong.

So don’t worry about being bisexual beautiful greyface! It’s your decision, and you’re in the best of company!!

[guerrillafeminism]

New bills to tackle campus sexual violence

Two bipartisan bills that would empower college students against campus sexual assault were announced this past week in the Senate and House. The Senate’s Campus Accountability and Safety Act (CASA) and the House’s Hold Accountable and Lend Transparency (HALT) share their focuses on mandating increased support for students on their campuses, increased transparency, and the creation of intermediary fines for schools found violating students’ civil rights. This last provision in particular is a a big win for student organizers who havelong advocated for intermediate sanctions, like us over at Know Your IX‘s ED ACT NOWcampaign. Here’s a quick run down of what you need to know about these bills and where we can expect things to go from here.

[awakenenlighten]

A woman of color’s self-love is political and radical, and it is unsettling for the status quo because she is choosing bravely to dismantle the narratives of racist aesthetics against her. So when people bully a girl of color for being content and satisfied with her appearance - a reality that is subjected to racist, sexist slurs in cosmetic industries - and when they tell her to be “humble” which is normative code for “Nah, you’re not special, you’re not light and delicate in a Eurocentric way” then she has every right to chew their hearts and spit them out. A non-white girl’s self-love is revolutionary and anyone trying to water it down needs to back right off.

Mehreen Kasana.

my friend sana sent this to me, loves man. 

(via wakeupblackpower)