my safe place @ocdnumber3 - Tumblr Blog

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

covid-69

socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it

climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house

crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell

the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall

do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer

thegoodlion

Also. Breath with your mouth and not your nose. Your nose will whistle. Trust me. If you need to get into your fridge, jab your finger into the rubber part that seals the door closed and create a tiny airway. This will prevent the suction noise when you open the door. When drinking liquids (juice mostly), pour out your glass (or chug from the jug) and replace what you drank with water. If it was full enough in the beginning, no one will notice. DO NOT STEAL ALCOHOL. THEY WILL NOTICE IF IT’S WATERED DOWN. Bring a pillowcase for dried foods like cereal and granola. It helps to muffle the sound it makes when it pours.

If your house has snack packs (like gummy bears or crackers or chips), count them every day until you know the rhythm that they get consumed. (This took me a week and a half with my twin brother and sister). Then join the rhythm when you make your nightly visits. It will be that much harder to figure out it was you.

KEEP A TRASH BAG UNDER YOUR BED FOR WRAPPERS AND STUFF BUT DONT FORGET TO THROW IT OUT WHENEVER YOU CAN. BUGS YKNOW. Hope this helped.

silenthill

I might have some useful info to add.

-a jar of peanut butter is long lasting and easy to hide under a bed or in a dresser drawer. I lived off of jars of peanut butter and boxes of saltine crackers I would buy on grocery trips with my mom.

-two words: Slipper Socks. These are the socks that have rubber designs on the bottom for grip. They make no noise, and also keep you steady on slicker surfaces like tile and wood. You can find them cheap at Walmart. They also keep your feet more protected if you’re outside.

-if you’re secure enough in your room to have a small food stash, make sure you’re not too obvious about it (duh) but also move its location every few days. I kept mine in a shoebox under my bed, then switched it to a backpack in my closet, then wedged between my bookshelf and wall, and I would cycle locations until i moved it permanently to a false-bottomed drawer I installed in my dresser when my father was gone for a weekend. I would NEVER put food directly into my stash after taking it. I would keep it in pockets of my clothes and between books until everyone went to sleep, then I’d stock and stow my stash for the next few days.

-get a water bottle with a filter in it. I used to be able to reach my bathroom from my bedroom door down the hall using a huge step or minor jump/leap. If I was afraid of being caught at night, I’d fill up the humidifier tank we kept under our sink while I took a short shower, and would refill my water that way. It might not be the best option, but I kept a small stockade of water under my bed for emergencies.

-if you can, smuggle your garbage out in your backpack or purse. Dispose of it at work/school. I got caught twice by carelessly throwing away packaging.

-if someone knows the situation you’re going through (close friend/partner/etc) see if there’s a way for them to get food or other supplies to you at school or work or what private time you may get. A hidden first aid kit literally saved parts of my body before and I owe it to a close friend.

-try learning the building’s natural rhythm. The house I grew up in would creak and settle heavily every night for 3-5 minutes. That was my shot, and I had to be QUICK. I still got caught a few times, but learning the patterns in our floors and walls, when they creaked, WHERE they creaked, kept me going. Eventually I was sprinting in slipper socks to the kitchen and back in less than 90 seconds.

-if you have stairs, or live upstairs. Sit as you go down them one at a time, or climb up them like an animal. It keeps you low/out of lots of motion sight, and also can reduce noise and creaking by distributing weight over more than 1-2 steps.

-You can use common hand sanitizer to remove the stains certain snack foods leave behind (coughs cheeto fingers) and a dry toothbrush can help scrub the color off your tongue. If you can get powdered toothpaste or toothpaste tabs to keep on hand, it makes a huge difference in sneakiness.

-I don’t recommend going for dried foods like granola or cereal unless you can sneak it to a secure place to get it. It’s too loud, it’s a gamble every time for something with less caloric intake than it’s worth if you get caught. Of course, there are times when that’s the only option!!

-if you’re taking milk, add water, but be SURE to shake/agitate the bottle to distribute the dairy fat with the water. I got into the habit of shaking milk jugs when I started sneaking it, and explained the habit as something I read in an old comic strip my father showed me. (Back when whole milk had a lot more cream fats and they’d separate, so shaking it would redistribute the cream.) I still shake milk jugs to this day.

-if your windows open or don’t have screens, eat leaning out an open window. Any food mess will be lost in the dirt. I was lucky I had bushes and birds outside that would catch my granola bar crumbs before anyone could notice.

-canned goods are tempting, but not worth it. It requires too many tools (can opener/strained sometimes/utensils/some need heat) stick to thinks like various nut butters (sunflower/peanut/almond), crackers, dried fruit, and easy to conceal food bars (nature valley/nutrigrain/etc.) dried ramen packets are good uncooked if you can stand the texture. Apple sauce and pudding cups are also easier to sneak and stash than one might think, and can be eaten with your fingers. The only canned foods I recommend are condensed soups and precooked pasta (spaghetti-o’s). You can easily mix them with a little bit of hot water from the tap and get something more sustaining than a handful of captain Crunch. The cans are cheap, sometimes recyclable, and drinking soup takes way less time than chewing solid food.

-if you menstruate, attempt to stash pads/tampons in a safe location. Sometimes shit happens. Pads can work as bandages in emergency situations. Sometimes shark week comes unexpectedly. If you can sneak a roll of toilet paper or paper towels, these are also life savers.

-plastic utensils from takeout containers can be hidden inside socks and will be worth their weight in gold when you least expect it. I bought myself a tiny plastic bowl from the dollar store and kept cheap trinkets in it on my desk so it didn’t seem like a bowl I was eating out of. You could try this with something like a mason jar, which is also useful for drinking out of or storing water.

-if you’re eating a crunchy or solid food, try soaking it in water. Mushy food can be repulsive in texture, but I could clock the sound of someone eating a nature valley oat bar from like 6 miles away. Dunking it in water (or using a secret bowl+water) can reduce noise, and also eating time since you don’t have to chew as much.

-keep a laundry bar or tide pen on you. Laundry bars are super useful, a little hard to find though. I washed a lot of stains out of my clothes with laundry bars in my bathroom sink as a kid. Not proud if it, but it kept me flying under the radar at school.

-clear rubber bands, plain twine or string, paper clips, and thumb tacks. Indescribably useful. I once rigged a system to open tricky cabinets and get objects from inside using two paper clips and a foot of plain string like a mock lasso system.

-if you’re pulling objects from tall cabinets, use your chest or stomach to cushion them. Let them fall into your torso and then into your hands cradled underneath. Not as loud, not as much grabbing, if someone sees it they can mistake it for it falling on you by the body language.

-get a bandana. Or four. Napkins, bandages, tool, and accessory all in one.

-get a tiny sewing kit. I’m talking 3 needles and a spool of thread tiny. Scissors if you can sneak it. See things into your clothes. Make hidden pockets or compartments. Threadbanger on YouTube did a video a few years ago about sneaking things into music festivals using tiny clothing mods, but they may be useful in sneaking money or medicine.

-on the topic of sneaking money. don’t take bills, take change. If your abusers don’t meticulously count their nickels and pennies, they’re an easy(ish) way to build up a tiny savings pool. I found nickels the least noticed coin I took, even more than pennies, and taking two every few nights from where they’d be tossed on our countertop soon built up to a semi-reliable fund I passed off to someone to get me food for my stash without having to sneak it from the kitchen. As soon as I became “independent” in my food storage, I was subjected to much less scrutiny. I managed to build up a solid 1-2 week ration supply after hoarding change.

-you can tape SD cards to the inside of book dust covers(the part that folds inside the actual cover of the book), if you have a sewing kit or zipper on it inside the stuffing of your pillow (trim a corner, stuff it inside, stitch it closed) or (this is final resort) VERY CAREFULLY remove the covering from your outlet and tape it to the wall stud before replacing the casing. I kept mine inside part of my wooden bed frame that I hollowed out using, you guessed it, take out silverware knives and 4 nights without sleep.

-THE FLOOR IS LAVA WAS KEY TRAINING FOR ME AS A CHILD. I learned to take pillows with me, climb on furniture to disrupt my flow of movement, toss a pillow down, and use that to cushion any rattle our living room could give off as I crept to the kitchen from the side entrance so my mom’s dog wouldn’t bark or alert anyone. I highly suggest crawling around on all fours like some sort of beast to stay out of sight.

-can you run your house blindfolded?? If you can’t. Maybe you should try to learn. I suffered some heavy eye traumas growing up and had a collective 3-4 months just IN THE DARK. Eyes bandaged, left alone. It was terrible, but damn if I couldn’t navigate the whole place silently, without any visual cues. This helps a lot with the whole moving around in the dark thing, too. Listening is obviously key.

-if your parents start getting suspicious, or you’re suspicious they’re getting suspicious, watch out for traps. String on the ground that gets shifted when you walk on it. Baby powder or flour left to track footprints or doors opening/closing. My dad was partial to wrapping a bungee cord around my doorknob and attaching it to the closet across the hallway. I wouldn’t be able to open my door enough to get out, or if I did, I risked ruining the structural integrity of the wrappings he did, and he would notice.

-learn to tie some knots. Strong ones. They’ll come in handy at one point or another.

-remember that you’re not totally alone. There’s people out there for you. Wanting to make everything better. You don’t deserve what’s happening, it isn’t normal, and you will eventually find help. But staying safe is important, and you are important.

live-like-ghibli

It upsets me that people might need to know these but I know it could really help someone by reblogging

minty-marshmallow7

ALWAYS REBLOG

thnksfrthmania

Things that have helped me over the years:

•Keeping a $10 bill on the inside of my phone case for emergencies. My mother will search my wallet and bags but has not taken my phone case off when she takes my phone as of yet.

•stashing loose change I find in the soil of my potted plant. Very quiet hiding place for coins. All bills are quickly confiscated but coins I have managed to hold onto this way

•changing food stash locations constantly. A good stash I’ve found is buried in my mice seed mix. Small packages or granola bars can fit in there pretty easily and the wrappers are flushable (I know it’s bad to flush them but my trash is routinely searched)

• always deleting online traces in case of phone/computer search. This includes search history, forbidden apps, messages, pictures, notes, games, etc. I don’t know how many times I have deleted the tumblr app during the day only to re download it late at night to use it. My phone and computer are constantly confiscated and gone through with a fine tooth comb. I delete anything I might possibly get in trouble for after I use it and re download it when I need it again. Don’t delete all your browsing history though, they will notice if it’s suspiciously empty. Fill it with safe and approved stuff and remove anything you might get punished for.

•learning what each and every door in the house sounds like so I know who is where at all times without having to leave the room

•learning where those ‘sweet spots’ are in the house where you can notice anyone coming before they can see you or what you are doing

•always having a pre-approved cover. I use books and preaching videos as covers. I can hide a phone in a book or quickly switch apps to the one playing the video if surprised or discovered.

• always being aware of ‘the trail’. If I tell a friend something who tells their sibling who tells my sibling who tells my mom I get punished so basically tell no one and it won’t come back to bite you. This includes talking about tv shows/movies that are forbidden, forbidden foods/drinks, activities, apps, games, friends, political views, etc. Express an opinion and it’s bound to reach someone you don’t want it to.

•never take from your abuser’s personal stash of food or money. The family pantry is fair game to carefully pilfer from and so is loose change but never take from their personal purse/wallet, fridge, pantry, or stash. They WILL find out.

•beware of traps and manipulation . My mother will leave money and food unattended and wait for it to disappear. She will also act like she wants to do a good thing and help you out but in the end you will pay for it a hundred times over. Avoid this if at all possible.

• NEVER develop a false sense of security. I have made the mistake of not deleting an app (Pinterest) because there had been a few weeks between phone searches and I felt a little safer. I got caught and severely punished. ALWAYS COVER YOUR TRACKS. Don’t get too confident in your methods, eventually they will find something. Make sure it’s something minor.

nonbinary-hawke-deactivated2021

I just want to point out that when deleting apps, make sure to check that the app store you use doesn’t record what was recently installed. I know that the Google Play Store does this and allows you to delete things from your history, but I don’t know anything about Apple.

holyshotpost

Apple does, in the purchased section of an account, so don’t have a false sense of security for apple apps and always try to use websites with no cookies.

Apps for screeensharing to TVs (such as Samsungcast) also have search tools so if you clear your history you can also use that and make sure to clear it. Just don’t play a video or it might end up showing on the TV screen.

postmortem-depression

I feel so sad that so many of you guys go through this all the time. Rebooting to spread the word.

Stay safe my lovelies

alpine-insurrection

So, so unfortunately important. Reblogging because I would’ve loved to have had seen this growing up - I figured most of it out on my own, of course, but through an amount of trial, error, and traumatic consequences no child should ever have to go through.

rozanov1221

-if your bedroom door was anything like mine, there is a large enough gap from the floor to the bottom of the door that anytime I got out of bed or walked around the room, the door would jangle. Try putting a small but heavy object flush against the door.

-bring a large cup to pee in when it is not safe for you to leave your room or space. be sure to sneak it down a drain as soon as possible.

-other foods to stash away include trail mix, breakfast bars, fruits and veggies. a couple slices of bread and cheese aren’t as easily missed either.

-i have had luck taping paper money to the underside of our rug.

-be aware that you will likely carry the weight of this time with you for a long while. most of my nightmares still take place in my childhood home, where i haven’t lived in over five years.

-but above all else, this time won’t last forever. you will make it out. i’ve got faith in you.

five-chaotic-beans

Hey @mrsmamarhodey idk if you’ve seen this but it’s good advice? I hate that anyone would have to go through this but I feel it may help Honey? ~ Foxy

Bee I will protect you with everything. ~ A

mrsmamarhodey

For all of my kids in unsafe home situations. I love you, be safe.

rwagzwriting

Also, for those of you in situations where you are not believed: as tempting as it is do NOT try and prove it with your phone. Especially if they search it. Please, please don’t do that. Find another way if you absolutely must prove the mistreatment.

-Avoid plastic and paper. They russle a lot, especially when you’re trying to be quiet. As stated above pillowcases are a godsend.

-If you can access the kitchen during the day (and not get caught doing this) move things you might need, granola on the shelf you can only just barely reach? Pull one bar out and slip it to the lowest shelf in the whole kitchen. Put it somewhere no one will check.

-The bottom of a trash can is NOT a good hiding spot. Tempting I know. I’ve hidden a secret stash under a trash bag. Played it off a few times as being a good kid and taking out the trash. But you would have to be the one to always take it out if you did this. Always. You can’t rely on ‘probablies’.

-Self aid. Go to your school nurse and ask for Band-Aids. School computer lab have alcohol pads so you can clean off the mouse? Take some. They will hurt and burn but a clean wound is so much better than an infected one.

-For those of you with allergies to the Staples (peanut butter, bread, cheese, the like) Beans are your new best friend. They suck but hey, they work.

-AVOID SWEETS. This sucks I know. But sweets leave more behind than a chocolate colored tongue, including a sweetened breath (I got busted so badly once even after scrubbing my tongue.)

And finally,

-Find people you can talk to. My messages are always open, @mrsmamarhodey is here for people as well, and many other blogs will listen. Even if there is nothing else we can do. We will listen. We will believe you. We will be there for you in what ways we can. Please, be safe. Stay alive.

song-of-fairies

I can’t believe that there are actually kids who are forced to live like this. It makes me so upset. I am now very concerned about the people on this site. Please, all of you, stay safe.

momokiiicos

there are things in the list that i personally also have to do, some i don’t have to, and tips i could definitely take for the unknown future. anyways, reblogging this in hopes that it could offer a chance for some of you to stay at least a bit safer. remember, we’re all fighting this together

obligatory-name-change

oh, god.

phantomhive-blue-deactivated201

I know it’s the log-off protest but just before I left the app I saw this.

chemicaaaaaal

This was a pretty helpful post, but i do hope none of my followers need this..

pyriteplates

can i adopt you guys???? nobody should have to go through this, and it breaks my heart :/

just know that it WILL get better. maybe not now, maybe not for years to come but this will not last forever. ily ♥

louanaisana

I always kept a plastic container with a lid to catch blood or any other fluid when it wasn’t safe to go to the bathroom to properly wash up. I hid it in an old backpack in the closet and cleaned it whenever the coast was clear

Most obvious hiding places are in the closet, under the bed, in the bottom of drawers and under rugs.

You can tape small items such as a metro card, prepaid phone, plastic bag of money, birth control or other medications, etc under a desk or even better: open the top drawer of your dresser and tape the item to the bottom of the dresser top. Make sure you can open and close it securely without jarring the item free.

You can also hide bills in an old DVD case if you are 100% SURE no one will open it.

If you can get your hands on some good concealer, use it to hide scars and bruises. Abusers will try to isolate you even more if you are a walking display of evidence. Don’t give them any excuse to not let you go to school.

On this same note, avoid making drastic changes to your appearance (dramatic change to hair cut/dye, tattoos or piercings or wearing any makeup/accessory/clothing that might be deemed “different” for you) Your abuser may perceive this as you acting out or seeking attention, and they do not want you to receive any kind of attention as it may give you an outlet to expose what is happening at home.

Don’t write things in codes that are obviously codes. Your abuser will not like this if they find it and you will be punished or forced to reveal the code but most likely both. If you can, make a code that would look like something else if found by someone. For example: If hiding say, your email password so you won’t forget, make a list of things beginning with each letter of the password. Draw pictures of your passwords. (Ex. Draw 4 red dogs, your password is RedDog4.)

Evernote is a great way to hide a digital diary/notebook/photos/contacts that you can delete from your device quickly before a phone search. If you fear you wont have time to delete before a search there is an option to hide your private notebooks so that you can only find them by searching their name and load up some class notes so if your abuser asks about the app you can say it’s for school.

This is a bit expensive but if you can manage it use an external hardrive for anything on your computer your abuser wouldn’t approve of, from photos and videos to games to creative and programming software, etc.

I had a friend whose dad didn’t let her talk to boys at all period so if she ever had a group project and the boys would try to text her she assigned them all feminine names in her contact list (Ex Louis became Louise etc) so she could still save their number.

ownerofidaho

Thank you so much for this.

anatrash17

This doesn’t really match my blog theme but it doesn’t matter. I have some things to add:

To walk completely silently, even barefoot, start on the outside of your foot and roll off your big toe. This takes practice though. Your bare feet will also be quieter if you have calluses on them, so you want to walk barefoot as much as possible.

One thing I did was getting well acquainted with the woods. If I needed to avoid people and couldn’t hide in my room, (the door doesn’t have a lock and the consequences would be SO BAD if I blocked it with something), I grab my bag, and try to avoid them + walk silently as I walked outside and hid deep in the woods where they couldn’t find me.

Never bring your phone (or any electronics) if you choose to escape to a friend’s house/the woods/etc. You don’t know what apps they hid on there, which could track your location.

When in the woods, I would bury my trash so if a family member decides to explore the woods one day/was actively trying to find where I kept hiding, they wouldn’t find traces.

About that bag I mentioned. I risked getting caught for this. I have it in my closet with the other bags so it wasn’t suspicious, but if I got the feeling they were suspicious about me, I hid all the stuff in the bag in different places temporarily. In the bag I keep a bottle of 90% isopropyl alcohol (disinfectant) that my aunt gave me as a joke, a small sewing kit (needle, string, scissors) that I stole the components of from my mom’s room, a knife that I also stole from my mom, and some granola bars.

You can hide things in boxes that appear to be sealed on your shelves. Choose a side, use the corner of your nail, or a small knife if you have one, to slit 3 edges of the plasic on the box on your chosen side. Carefully side the box open so as to not tear the plastic. If there is space, hide your item(s) in the space. If not, take some of the contents out and hide them elsewhere* until you can dispose of them where they won’t find them. Arrange the flap of plastic so it lines up properly (if box is cardboard or similar you can lick the edge of the plastic and place it down, it will stick moderately well and the fact it isn’t in tact will be less noticeable) and put box on shelf so that the cut side is against the back. (I have many time in the past taken a “sealed” box of playing cards and take the right amount of cards out so that after putting whatever I want in, it would weigh the same as a normal box of playing cards. This way if they pulled things off the self, unless they examined the playing card box carefully, it was unlikely that they would notice)

*if you have a coat/jacket with a liner, you can put holes in your pockets and stitch the liner to the jacket at the bottom so things you put in there will be at the bottom and it will seem like your pockets are empty. Don’t put anything bulky or potentially loud in, or your trick will be exposed immediately. Works great for papers though, and it’s one of the only ways to transport plastic wrappers without being loud. Not coins though.

Learn how to remove the screen from your window

Any social media or other restricted thing or anything they could use to stalk me if they found out I had it I use web for, my accounts are under different fake names with different email address I created with different fake names just for them, and my passwords are all long, secure, and MEMORIZED. And I delete my search history of any of those particular things.

I know how to give myself stitches. This has come in handy.

Leather = low grade armor. Wear it whenever you can. Then you can take a punch without it being quite so bad.

There’s a gate at the bottom of the stairs at my house that not only creaks, but the latch is LOUD. I climbed over the railing near the bottom instead, and then walked down the outsides of the last couple of steps.

How to climb over a railing silently: put hands on railing, swing one leg over so you’re sitting as if on a horse, and then carefully slide your already over leg down so it is touching the outside of the step and at the same time you swing your other leg over and carefully place that foot down.

If you close a door while holding the handle turned, like how you would if you were opening it, and use your other hand to guide it so it doesn’t hit the door frame, instead lining it up exactly where the latch needs to go, and then slowly rotate the handle back, it is near silent.

A fluffy sock jammed in the bottom handle-side corner of the door can keep the door from making noise as you walk around your room at night.

Hide things inside your pillows. Not just your pillow cases, but the pillows themselves. A lot of them have zippers where you can access the fluff, and you can hide things in the fluff. Stuffed animals sometimes have this too.

Semi-sheer, loose layers will be a lot less hellish and a lot less suspicious in warm weather but can still hide most older cuts/scars that are starting to become less garishly red.

If you close your eyes for 30 seconds before trying to navigate the dark your eyes will adjust and you will be able to see much better.

To anyone who needs any of the advice above or in similar posts: Good luck, stay safe, and remember that one day this will be over and you will be safe. I know it’s tough but keep going. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.

cokezerotokes

I absolutely wept when I read this. I remember being a kid and living at home, having to do most of these things to keep myself safe and alive. I’m so sorry that their are so many of you who are going through this. If this is something you’re going through and you just want someone to talk to about it all my inbox is always open. From one survivor to another.

dracogotgame

I am so, so sorry.

ipaniceverywherenotjustthedisco

i know ive reblogged this countless times, but this has some really important additions, please stay safe guys <3

togshitpost

I know this is not ToG related, but, if this can help …

genderfluid-and-confuzled

learn to sew,if you can do it well you can open up stuffed animals and fill them with whatever as long as it’s small and not likley to be notice

if you never turn a fan on you can tape ska stuff to the top of it, idk if it will hold if the fan turns on

if you have a trusted friend have them store stuff in their locker/get a lock and put it on an unused locker that way even if they know your locker they can’t get to your stuff

shapeofinfinity

for those who need it

cheese-greater-official

I would hope no one needs to use this but I know there are people that do this for you guys

justabsbutler-deactivated202105

We got you

Seriously

We’re here for you

Everyone is

slider-79-but-im-not-real

For everyone who needs this

slothful-rabbit

Stay safe please

strawberry-lemonade

i don’t remember seeing this on the list but during the day i go up and down the stairs and through the house to memorize all the creaky spots so i can avoid them at night

4ngstyc00kie-deactivated2021101

stay safe guys <3

the-angry-ship-deactivated20220

@its-my-mental-breakdown

its-my-mental-breakdown

Thank you darling, I plan on using these tips for my.own hell hole of a house

ash-hamiltrash

This is horrible that people have to deal with and also I have a small tip: if your house has a radiator/heater (like mine), time how long it goes on and then when it turns on, RUN and get what you need. I love you all and stay safe!

lilbabypansexual-deactivated202

Sorry for the long ass post but as a child who deals with this, I’ve got a few things to add. -KEEP SOMETHING MINOR THAT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE. This may seem counterintuitive, but that way if your parents say you’re acting suspicious, you can turn their attention away from something bigger. Additionally, if they catch you nd you have to lie, DON’T go for the classic “I don’t know anything” or “I didn’t do that.” Take the situation and make it a little bit bad but not too much. Example: I had kept scissors in my room for sewing, which I wasn’t supposed to have. So what I did was I said that I had gotten a ponytail holder stuck in my hair and had to cut it out, but that I was scared they would get mad so I hid them. -As for money, I took a pad out of the wrapper and threw it out, and then used the wrapper to hold money and taped it shut. I kept that in my bag, as if it were a pad for emergencies, and they never suspected. -If you’re sneaking into the kitchen, fill up a glass with water and stand there for a few minutes drinking it until you’re sure no one is coming to check on you. That way if they do catch you, you can say you were getting a drink of water.

becausewedefinetheworld

Sjdvkhfufk this was super helpful thank you to everyone who added to this

eptck

if u have a vent on ur wall near the ceiling, u can clean the dust away n store things there

always have an escape route mapped out

always have an escape bag, just in case. mine has an extra phone charger, my wallet, a sewing kit, a re-usable water bottle, extra underwear, toilet paper, headphones, a grocery bag, and a small blanket

if u can, try to get a pair of boots that are good for navigating wooded areas

study foraging. u never know how useful info about toxic and non-toxic plants can be

stay safe out there, babes. hope none of u ever have to use these tips

oyaapeach

It hurts to know so many of us have had to use info like this just to survive. I’m by o means a popular blog, but I hope anybody who see’s this will either gain some merit from it or repost it for others to see. It sucks living like this, and it follows you well into your life, but sometimes that’s the reality.

Stay safe everyone. You can do this.

stardewvalleyquotesbutitswrong

I don’t know WHO needs this right now, but I’m going to reblog this anyway.

Idc that it’s not SdV related.

ghostieliving

Hate that this is stuff that people need to know, but it’s important that the people who need this information have it.

tiny-crecher

Idk if this will work for other people but sometimes I’m able to wrap a blanket around myself and hide stuff under it if my parents are in the way. I use it a lot to sneak food and water upstairs and I can just pass it off as being cold. I’m an absolute freeze baby so they’re not suspicious. Just be sure to make the blanket a semi-common thing, not just when you’re sneaking stuff around.

Oh and you can put things like crackers, pretzels, and cereal in clean socks (or just a small bag if you have one) if you can’t take the whole container. Just make sure to switch the socks around every now and then because crumbs are a bitch.

You can also hide food in bras if you wear them. Mostly granola bars for me. If it sticks out then try wearing baggy clothing over it.

shdghjdhdkjghjkndsvhj-deactivat

please stay safe, everyone

kipplekipple

Keep a towel in your room. When you’re inside, push it against the crack under the door. That way they can’t see anything under it.

Also, I had a mortice lock on my door. If you stick a plaster or some opaque tape over it, it stops them looking through and it also stops them smashing into the door until your key falls out, if you have a key. This happened to me once and he also had a key so obviously I had to stop it from happening again. Just leave the key in the lock and put the plaster so it covers the rest of the hole:

Keep batteries in your room and a torch. I grew up in a house with a separate breaker for my room, and it’s a lot less harrowing when they shut off the power to your room if you can have some light.

If you can, get one of those phone chargers with a handle, it takes a lot of cranking but it can mean being able to call someone for help when you really need it.

There are often little gaps in upholstery if you have any upholstered furniture, where you can hide stuff. Also, flat things can go under your mattress if nobody else is likely to flip your mattress. There is a little space between cushions sometimes. Find the little hiding places that are already part of your furniture.

Baby wipes can be helpful if your access to the bathroom is hampered. Also, if you can’t brush your teeth, get a damp washcloth or even just use your finger to scrub them as best you can. It’s better than nothing, and it can help you feel a little better.

delicateyflowers

sorry for the longest post in existence but it’s so incredibly useful pls reblog !! u never know who might need it

dietcokenricecakes

Never keep a written log of anything.

Always move your hiding places.

Always have detailed explanations for anything and everything you do.

thelucidsystem

The advice about using an external hard drive or usb drive is great but you need to be careful. My main use for them has always been word documents. File explorer keeps a record of the names of files that have been opened on that computer, even if they’re stored on a separate drive. Ex: ‘English project, location School USB, opened 12:35 4/23/21’ A usb drive for school (for projects that you need to work on at home and school, for PowerPoint presentations, etc) is great because you can title your documents as school things and the record in file explorer will look clean. That’s only if the usb drive won’t be combed through as well though.

esrah-rah-rasputin

This got the hypervigilant part of my brain going again, but here’s some tips that I got together

- take some time to learn how to relax your muscles and slow your breathing on command. It really does wonders if someone comes to check on you at night, and makes your breathing so much quieter

- if you have books that you don’t use, hide stuff beneath the pages or under the books themselves. This’ll not work if someone decides to pull out one of the books, but it worked for me hiding some personal stuff under old school folders and such

- make a habit of using your notes app. I use it for school notes and random writing from over the years, but I also have had literally hundreds of fanfic and resources saved in that little app for emergencies and entertainment when the majority of my phone’s apps were shut down

- on a similar note, make a habit of turning off notifications at night, dimming the brightness, turning it to dark mode, etc, so you’re less likely to get caught if you’re sneaking a device somewhere it’s not supposed to be

- if you need to sign up for something with an email but can’t use certain emails, make a throwaway one from 10minutemail. The only downside is that these are hard to memorize

- on a similar note, you can use 10minutemail to email someone if they know you might do that, but make sure to identify yourself in the subject line so they don’t think it’s spam

- if you wear looser clothing, you can sometimes sneak a phone into your waistband. Try not to hide it on the hip bone directly if you’re smaller, but figure out where the folds most naturally fall and where there’s a bit of give so it doesn’t look unnatural

- shut your door manually. Ofc that’s what you already do but I mean carefully turning it and guiding it back into the doorframe so it doesn’t make noise

- be careful with who you share information with. I can’t describe how much “living a double life” has been true for me, but the things that kept them from intersecting was being very, very careful who I told about anything “unapproved.” Unless you’re entirely sure someone won’t tell or can’t tell, just don’t.

My parents were more lenient, and I never had to do anything related to storing food or medical stuff, but hey this might be helpful. If you’re in a spot where you have to use any of these, just know it’ll end, okay? This won’t last forever, even if it seems like it will.

void-galaxy-shenanigans

Hi I’m gonna add more to this very long post—

-If you have a weighted blanket or any heavy quilts on your bed often/always (works best during winter unless you run cold), you can use that to minimize the sound of opening packaging. This has helped me get away with opening chip bags, premade meals (sandwiches & the like), etc. & could help some of you with granola & other loud things. Make sure to keep the package under the blankets the entire time, & kneel/bend down slightly so the blanket is all the way down (no gap/lifted part where your hand is). You’ll have to be able to quickly pull your hand back if you hear your abusers approaching, but it muffles the sound enough they usually won’t hear.

-Similarly, if you have multiple sheets, heavy quilts, or a weighted blanket on your bed often/normally (don’t want to make it only while hiding, too suspicious), you can hide things under it quickly. This has helped me quickly stash food, food wrappers, etc. when my abusers enter the room, so they don’t see you have it. Just be careful that it isn’t obvious there’s anything hidden, & if it has multiple parts (e.g. container with a lid) make extra sure you grab & hide all of it. Speed is key here; don’t let them see you move.

-If you can leave “to go for a walk”/to “exercise” have a bag or backpack you always, always bring with. Make sure the first two or three times you just bring the bag (with maybe a charger & some random non-suspicious items), & maybe (if they won’t catch you & check it on the way out the door) stuff it full of random stuff so it’s bulging a little. If you get them used to this, you can then bring it with & fill it with snacks & premade meals from friends (& from a convenience store/nearby store you can walk to if you have access to money). Never fill it with obvious things (e.g. square packaging poking at the top of the bag), or too full. Once you get home, stash it in different bags & hiding spots around your room & put school stuff/unrelated random things in that bag so it looks just as full.

-If you haven’t already, & you have two or more abusers, learn to differentiate their footsteps & moods by how they walk. You can hear the difference between how each person walks to know who’s coming, & with practice where in the house they’re headed (especially if they come near your room - learn to know when they’re headed for your door or something nearby), as well as their mood by how they walk (e.g. my dad walks fast but gentler when he’s angry, & slow with hard slap footsteps when he’s calmer; mom walks gentle & calm most of the time so if she’s stomping or moving fast that means danger). It can give you a headstart to hide things you aren’t allowed to have or switch apps on your phone to something safe.

-Someone else mentioned having a smaller offence for things you shouldn’t have (scissors for cutting hairtie, instead of for stitches). Also have smaller offences in general - by this I mean, if you buy/stash your own food, have one candy bar or granola bar or something hidden in a place you do not normally hide things so that if they angrily accuse you of stashing something you can pull it out, hand it over, & abashedly say your friend gave it to you a couple days ago & insist it’s the only thing you have. So long as you know they won’t search your room thoroughly & find other hiding spots if you do this, it can buy you time to change your hiding spots & eat what you have so they don’t catch you.

-If you have a thin blanket, shirt, or even a flag of some kind (we have a pride flag because our abusers like to brag they’re “so supportive” of LGBT+ people just because they got us one (reputation)), get a reusable shopping bag (cloth, won’r crinkle like paper or plastic) & drape it (flag, shirt, etc) over the bag. Make sure you leave that cloth & bag there until they get used to it & have checked it several times. After that, you can use it to hide snacks & meals you plan to eat soon (a day or two) or to temporarily hide something before moving it.

-If you have cubbies with baskets in them (the little box shaped storage ones that you stick cloth/wicker baskets on, often to use as a dresser), you can temporarily hide things in them so long as your abusers won’t check it often/soon. Make sure they’re full of random things (we have one full of lost hobbies (medical pamphlets, old crafts we abandoned) that’s full of plastic & loud things so we can stash anything with louder packages (like granola bars). If they ask what the noise is, well, there’s tons of plastic things to blame it on.), preferably on the louder &/or heavier side, so you can hide louder/heavier things in them without getting caught.

-If they let you have social media but it’s restricted (our situation), or if they let you text some people, & you KNOW for certain these people won’t tell a soul ever, “blame” some things on them. Blaming some food & stim toys & whatnot (things we got because we needed them or because we work a job & can afford to & have wanted them for years) on our fiancé (“oh, he got it for me, I didn’t ask”) helped dodge some serious punishments the last year. Our fiancé has sent some gift boxes (a Valentine’s box & a birthday one) with lots of stuff, & actually has bought us some gifts off Amazon, so it’s plausible. Our abusers have no way to contact him, so they can’t say we’re lying, & even if they could we know he’d back us up (he has sometimes when online friends stirred up drama using major lies & a minor truth, & he covered up the minor truth & called them liars - it worked). If you have a person you can do this with, do it. If not there are other ways.

-SurveyJunkie. It kinda sucks, most surveys don’t pay well. BUT. It pays out at around $10 (once you reach $10 you can ask to get your reward), & it can send you gift cards & PayPal. PayPal acts like a bank account. So long as they do not find out you have a PayPal, you can spend PayPal money like any other money. If you’re able to safely, get/sneak a PayPal debit card; it acts like a normal bank account & can get you food at gas stations & nearby stores. SurveyJunkie kept us able to eat for around 2 months when we had nothing & no one. Just be very careful to not get caught with a card or caught spending money.

-On that note, PayPal can be a lifesaver because other people can send you money electronically. It’s how our fiancé & past friends helped us afford food for the past 9± months. The only downside is it requires your legal name (something about verifying you’re a real person), but you can link it to any email & use it like cash. Ca$hApp & Venmo are also okay options for having people send help. Just don’t trust every stranger on the Internet.

-If you have a full dresser (one with big drawers), pick a drawer. Shove random soft things in the drawer (for us it’s some old t-shirts & ripped clothes that are damaged or too small). This drawer is now muffled & can be used to temporarily hide garbage & packaging. (We’ve hidden phone boxes, Amazon packaging, etc. in this drawer & they have yet to notice.) Make sure you empty the drawer when they’re asleep or not home, & be quick about it.

-If you can, dump your garbage (from anything they wouldn’t approve of) in your neighbour’s garbage bin, or stuff it in a backpack or other closed bag & carry it to a gas station or nearby store you can walk or bike to & dump it in their dumpster or the garbage near the doors. Stores are less likely to catch & stop you, especially if any of the packages (even just one) are something you bought there or could have bought there (they sell it, even if you got it elsewhere).

-Keep a normal garbage bin or bag (we use paper bags) somewhere in your room. They’re more likely to notice & search that than look for another. Put things they’d approve of in them (healthy foods, bandage wrappers, maybe makeup, kleenex/toilet paper/paper towels). It’ll make them less likely to search for & find any garbage bag you hide, &/or any wrappers or stashes you’ve hidden.

-Get out as often as you’re able, & make a habit of it. This is good for your mental well-being (& makes you less likely to snap/lash out when they try to provoke you), but also a good routine to help hide when you go eat elsewhere or buy/stock food. Going “for a walk”/“to the park” every other day has gotten our abusers used to us leaving regularly & staying away for a few hours (so long as we text distraction updates, “look at this tree I walked past” & “I made it to the park, so many people aren’t wearing masks at all”, whatever will appease your abuser & not seem sus), so we have the ability to go restock food, eat a couple meals away from home, & come back without getting punished. Don’t say you’re going to a friend’s/friends’ house because they might actually check.

-If they have a car, memorize the license plate. This seems tedious, & it kind of is (especially if they have a random mix of letters & numbers, &/or you struggle to memorize letters & numbers). But it can be a lifesaver when you’re out & about. It gives you the ability to “see” them before they see you, so you have reaction time. It’s helped us hide food & drinks we aren’t ‘allowed’ to buy, & sometimes hide from them entirely. They may accidentally spot you when they drive by, so knowing their license plate helps you hide yourself or whatever they shouldn’t see before they notice you. If they drive by when you’re walking down a street they’d approve of you being on (near church, headed home), it gives you time to pretend to “just now” notice them, fake a smile (if they approve of that), & lift a hand or wave. Acknowledging them when you are “where you should be” can sometimes make later punishments less severe or make them skip smaller punishments.

-Have at least two email accounts. Gmail works okay but you’d have to frequently erase all cookies & tracking & whatnot if they ever search your devices. The idea is that they’ll know about one, & you can use a profile picture they approve of, a name they approve of (esp if you’re closeted trans), etc., & then if they email you (or, in the case of G-Suite, invite you to a Google Calendar “family” or shared event) everything looks normal & not suspicious. The second email account (or several other accounts if that’s safer) is for anything you want to hide - for us it’s our Amazon account (& any related purchases/shipments), university related emails, any subscription related things, emails to people they don’t know we’re in contact with, etc. Make sure to use a pen name, false name, etc. (not a name you actually like/want to keep) for this/these email account(s); if you use your chosen/real name or a name you want to change it to & they somehow find the name accidentally, that’s bad. If you’re an artist, writer, etc or any profession with “pen names”, worst case scenario you can say it’s your current pen name. Do not have notifications allowed for the second account/other accounts (block & don’t allow it to show up on top of other apps - this should be in device settings on a phone, & for a computer it’s a separate permission). This works because if they check your devices you can log out of the other account(s) so all they see is the “good”/safe account.

Hopefully no one has to use any of these but they’ve helped us so they may help you. Our situation is more complicated (adult stuck with abusers because struggling to keep a job (undiagnosed autistic person + possible chronic illness), & our abusers care about a “good reputation” so there are some loopholes/ways to avoid & please them that won’t work for everyone) but if even one of these can help one person it’s worth sharing.

Please be careful & stay safe. Our DMs are open.

~Aiden

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