[webweabings]

NIGHT DIRVE. ALL CRUISE. NO BREAKS

“Driving away”, by Le Castle Vania & Sunsun; // “Driving away from home (Jim’s Tune)”, by It’s Inmaterial; // “Drive”, by Halsey

[technofinch]

we're all so lucky that a cat can be orange. that's such an incredible color for a cat to be

[ximenasbrokencd]

can't wait to say "during pride month?" at every minor inconvenience all of next month

[penandinkprincess]

cackling about the idea of shane and ilya getting separated on the bench from time to time and the public thinks "oooh, trouble in paradise? the rivalry rearing its head again?? hollander getting fed up with rozanov??"

and the truth is that the team was playing against someone ilya and/or shane ESPECIALLY hates, which means shane was dropping the most vicious, lethal reads known to man and making ilya crack tf up to the point that they were attracting attention and the coach was just afraid of someone reading lips and getting them all in trouble

and signficantly, the three person buffer between them just keeps shane from SAYING his comments

he and ilya are still leaning forward and backward to look at each other and exchange "mhm" "mhm" looks that still make it clear they're still communicating their thoughts perfectly fine

[hollzy-baby]

Ilya learns to say he’s ‘just resting his eyes’ from David

[lavenderprose]

To be clear. Shane's whole thing about Ilya being a Sex God is because of the limerence. Ilya is nineteen and he can get a rhythm going and that's about it. He was throwing shit at the wall when he hit that 'Get on your knees' in Nashville but only he knows that because Shane's brain turned OFF. Ilya said "Let's do a little experiment here" and the results were "Oh my god oh my god oh my god." Shane came hands free because he was that obsessed with the idea of Ilya Rozanov being inside him. Ilya said "Do you like that do you like that" because he's nineteen and he needs the validation and Shane was like "YES YES YES I LIKE IT OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO DEEP YOU'RE SO GOOD" and objectively. It was okay. Ilya fully did not know where to put his hands a couple of times. He forgot about Shane's dick. Luckily, Shane is God's special angel who can come from the idea of Ilya's cockhead being in proximity to his prostate a few times. Mind over matter, says Shane Hollander's dick. And then Ilya said "Oh God Hollander" because it was also, objectively, one of the hottest things that had ever happened to HIM, Ilya Rozanov. Shane sits on that step afterwards plotting about how he's gonna get this over and over and over again for the rest of his life and he has no idea that there are women in Boston who have Ilya listed in their contacts as "Hockey Guy 6/10". Shane Hollander cannot fathom a world in which Ilya Rozanov doesn't lay the maddest pipe this side of Lake Michigan. "Ilya Rozanov is a some kind of nineteen year old sex God" No Shane honey he was just designed in a lab to score goals and make you cum and he's done scoring goals for the night.

[emmikay]

(Ilya and Shane were accidentally left behind by the team bus)

Ilya Rozanov: Captain’s Log, day 25, our rations are slim. There is mere snickers bar and  bottle of gatorade between two of us.

Shane Hollander: Uh…it’s only been 25 minutes.

Ilya Rozanov: Hollander is succumbing to sea madness with passing of time.

[velvetys]

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

[willgrahamscock]

Project Hail Mary + Sims memes

[shrekhollander]

Ilya making Tuna Melt for his really uncomfortable, heavily pregnant husband, because that´s what the baby wants.

A couple hours after Shane had it, his water breaks.

Ilya: *panicking* The baby is like you, tries my tuna melt and immediately wants out Shane.

[tinylilhollander]

One more unhinged little scenario before bed: On the day that they decide to let Hayden and Jackie know that Ilya is pregnant, they invite them round for lunch. These are the first people besides Shane's parents and Sveta and Rose that they've told. So it's a Pretty Big Deal. They've decided they'll tell them during lunch because Hayden always processes things better (with fewer silly questions) if he's got some food in his system.

But then Jackie asks for sparkling water instead of her favourite chardonnay, and Shane knows the only time she does that is if...

Why today of all days???

And Jackie seems to realise that Shane's worked it out, because he fixes her with a look that says 'No way, Jackie, number 5?' and she gives him and little nod and a shrug.

But then Ilya also asks for sparkling water and Jackie immediately puts two and two together. She fixes Shane with a delighted look that says 'Wait oh my god, really???' and Shane can't help but grin back.

And both Hayden and Ilya are sitting there watching this like "Do you mind if we also know what's going on?" Because now the other two are just smiling at each other trying not to cry.

And then Hayden is like "Oh shit, wait, I think Shane might have worked out that Jackie's pregnant again," and Ilya nearly flips a table. He can't believe Hayden one-upped his pregnancy announcement with a fifth fucking baby.

[bambicoded]

with how deeply physical their bond is, i don't think that hollanov ever bothered to develop a safeword. i do think, though, that they developed-- by accident!-- a physical system to tell each other how they are feeling. and it definitely bleeds into their life outside the bedroom, and it's definitely subconscious at this point, and it definitely makes it into the locker room and onto the ice by the time they're both in ottawa.

which means maybe the centaurs have picked up on the fact that hey, sometimes when shane wants ilya to stop doing something, he taps his arm twice. or if ilya wants shane to move one way, he taps him three times. or if he just wants his attention, its a squeeze. which is all relatively normal, and they probably think its cute that they have an unspoken language for communicating with one another.

and then maybe-- by accident!-- it starts taking root as a thing, and then mindlessly troy or wyatt or bood accidentally double pats shane's arm to get him to stop talking to ilya for a moment, and shane thinks for a moment, that was a weird coincidence, and moves on. but then it happens again, and then maybe luca squeezes his arm to get his attention and then bood taps him three times to get him to move aside so he can walk past and shane feels himself flush to the ears and catches ilya's eyes across the room and ilya definitely noticed that too. so now what? they can't full well ask them to stop without saying, hey, so this was a sex thing. but it'd be weird to let it continue... right?

[dinkypirate]

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

[diznam]

Idk guys i kinda think they, like, like-like each other

[argillaforma]

shane and ilya walking around at home just minding their own business and exsisting in the same place without really talking except every time they cross paths ilya goes kiss😙 and won’t let shane move past him until he gets a kiss

[tinylilemrys]

Shane once accidentally leaves his silicone wedding ring, that he wears during practice and games, at home. So he's not wearing a ring during one of their games against Montreal. And of course Ilya notices and will not let Shane forget it for a second. He spends the whole match pretending to be offended.

"So you're going on the ice single, Hollander? You're going to find another player to fall in love with during this match? Just please not Pike. Promise me."

"Ough, I can't even look at your gloves right now because I know underneath your hand is naked. So naked. Not even one little ring there."

"Pike, Pike, can you believe this shit? Shane decided not to wear his ring today. You know, the one I put on his finger when he promised to love me forever? Where is the love now, Pike?"

"Hollander, if you make this next goal I promise I will marry you again once the divorce is finalized."

Eventually during one of the intervals Shane turns to him like "The fuck, Ilya? We're on the same team. Sorry I forgot my ring one fucking time. I feel like shit about it already, okay? Stop chirping me and save your asshole shit for the other team."

And Ilya gets his mouth up close to Shane's face so that his lips brush the shell of his ear.

"I would, moy lyubimyy, but you play so much better when you're pissed off. Especially against Montreal." He presses a kiss to his ear and pulls back with a shit-eating grin. "Just being a good captain and getting what I need out of my team."

They beat Montreal 6-1 and Shane scores four of those goals. He now has a spare silicon wedding band that he keeps in his duffle at all times.