Hashem's Gayest Disaster

he/fae/zir, jewish, professional lil guy aspiring entomologist local jayvik enjoyer

[pomegranategolem]

kiss the mezuzah on your way in!

this is my fandom frumblr and main blog :] be nice and remember to bring snacks and water for your venture!

[basic-banshee]

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

[basic-banshee]

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

[basic-banshee]

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

[basic-banshee]

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

[basic-banshee]

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

[basic-banshee]

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

[justluckyiguess]

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

[basic-banshee]

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

[basic-banshee]

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

[cooliopumpkin]

[basic-banshee]

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

[charlesoberonn]

[hearted-words]

Tumblr meets Hallmark

[paradigm-adrift]

I accidentally did a Wikipedia binge about 1st wave feminism and fashion and stumbled upon the 1890s bicycle suit. Do people know about this? Why didn't anyone tell me about this? This is dope as hell.

It's old-fashioned. It's modern. It's butch. It's femme. It's snazzy. It's practical.

Wikipedia talks about the bloomers and the leg-o-mutton sleeves, but I'm also noticing a lot of these outfits have absolute supervillain lapels, which I also like a lot.

[tiresomespaceplant]

my name is grace, ryland grace.

[pomegranategolem]

Dites-moi Pourquoi La vie est belle?

Dites-moi Pourquoi La vie est gai?

Dites-moi Pourquoi, Chère mad’moiselle,

Est-ce que Parce que Vous m’aimez?

No please anon I'm allergic to French

[pomegranategolem]

הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, אִם אֵין אֲנִי לִי, מִי לִי. וּכְשֶׁאֲנִי לְעַצְמִי, מָה אֲנִי. וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁיו, אֵימָתָי:

He [Rabbi Hillel] used to say: If I am not for me, who will be for me? And when I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, then when?

Excellent insights Arch, I love this quote

[jame7t]

tumblr Mobile apparently has a new processing tab & it turns out I’ve been processing a video for five years

almost done I bet

[elliespectacular]

it would probably move faster if your phone wasn't encased in green gelatin

[jame7t]

the liberal media won’t trick me into removing my protective delicious gels

[pomegranategolem]

Ooh-wee-ooh, I look just like Buddy Holly

Oh, oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore

I don't care what they say about us anyway

I don't care about that

BANG BANG KNOCKING ON THE DOOR

ANOTHER BIG BANG GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR

OH NO WHAT DO WE DO

DONT LOOK NOW BUT I LOST MY SHOE 👟

I CANT RUN AND I CANT KICK

WHATS THE MATTER BABE

ARE YOU FEELING SICK

WHATS THE MATTER WHATS THE MATTER WHATS THE MATTER YOU

WHATS THE MATTER BABE

ARE YOU FEELING BLUE

(sick Weezer riff)

[pomegranategolem]

pahmegranate

thats right layzer, and im a real wicked pahmegranate too

[swarm-of-bees-in-a-trenchcoat]

You Have Mail!

Is it real mail or junk mail?

[horce-divorce]

"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"

[thephilosophersapprentice]

Send me an ask with the first sentence of a fanfic and I’ll write the next five.

Saw this on @resting-meme-face‘s blog and wanted to try it.

[homunculus-argument]

You ever think about how often you hear someone say "there's no such thing as natural talent! Anyone can be taught" and you want to believe that they mean "with the right method and accommodations, anyone can be taught this", but time and time again you learn that they meant "I don't believe in learning disabilities or accommodations, anyone whom I can't teach simply doesn't want to learn."

[coalescedstardust]

Anyone who doesn't recognize that both talents and learning disabilities exist and adjust their teaching methods accordingly (while fully respecting the student as a person no matter what combinations of the above they have) is a bad teacher, IMO.

If someone is saying something like this, it sounds like they try to teach everyone with the same cookie-cutter formula and blame their students if it's not effective.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to be More Thick-Skinned

1. Don’t take criticism personally. Instead, realize that criticism says more about them than it does about you.

2. Distinguish between facts and subjectivity. Most criticisms are just personal opinions. They are not objective and they don’t reflect the truth.

3. Look at the beliefs you hold about yourself. Do you feel defensive and under attack because you don’t believe in yourself?

4. Learn what you can from any comments that are made – and discard the rest as being useless information.

5. Decide not to ruminate on barbs or criticisms - as that will reinforce the faulty message in your brain.

6. Choose to spend more time with people who’re affirming – and minimise the time you spend with those who put you down.

7. Look for a role model who can handle criticism – and try to copy them, so you become more thick skinned, too.

[em1e]

what made u guys pick ur url's !

[lesbianshepard]

on my "don't walk to metlife" post I kept seeing people say that drivers would "bergentruck" pedestrians on the turnpike and it turns out that that's a reference to an Undertale meme where a character purposefully runs over people, but the portion of the jersey turnpike that goes to metlife is bergen county, and I had just instantly accepted that there was a term specifically referring to jersey drivers from there. I didn't even question it. Neither would you, if you had ever driven there.

[lesbianshepard]

posters: if you try to walk on the jersey turnpike they will bergentruck you without hesitation.

me, unfamiliar with undertale memes, but familiar with driving through north jersey: fuckin yeah they will.

[yesornopolls]

Do you believe that the saxophone is a brass instrument?

Do you believe that the saxophone is a brass instrument?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 5 days 1 hour