those flowers from that boring poem that you like

She/her, bi, 30+, writes fanfiction but is flakey about posting and sharing it so this is mostly gonna be fandom bingo promos 😜 Hudcon header by @vivihatiqah on threads Rumi pfp by @xnda

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

it's the best game you can name 🍆💦👅

[fresh-bag-of-ham]

the reviews are in! thanks for watching 🥰🫡😈😜

[writinginasnowglobe]

i think at a certain point shane would start getting seriously annoyed at the seemingly widespread idea that he's somehow supposed to be "controlling" ilya. maybe it starts off as a lighthearted joke with the way some of their friends will glance at him in anticipation when ilya says something particularly asshole-y like they expect him to tell ilya off. and at the beginning maybe shane somewhat gets it (but really though, he doesn't) because yeah it's his reputation in the league and maybe the rivalry plays a part in it too, especially for people who've never gotten to know him, but eventually, it just starts pissing him off

they're at the kingfisher after a game in new york and scott and some of the other admirals are there along with a majority of the cens and they're all having a good time. ilya and some random admirals player are chirping each other and ilya says something a little mean in the asshole way he does with a small tilt of his lips. and shane can suddenly feel eyes on him from scott and carter and troy and various other players, and for a second he doesn't get it. he doesn't get it, until all he does is snort in response, because well, it was true and also pretty funny and ilya really is the funniest person he knows, okay, and ilya nudges him with a small smile when he hears it, but then the stares slowly morph into something like confused gapes, and all of a sudden, he gets it. it's not the first time it happens and it definitely won't be the last, but shane starts noticing it a lot more and it continues to piss. him. the. fuck. off.

hayden giving him an expectant glance when ilya is half-yelling and groaning with a few cens in the bar at the soccer game on tv, like shane is for some reason gonna tell him to quiet down. scott giving him a quick side-eye when ilya chirps about his age on the ice, like shane is gonna tell him to stop; like he doesn't find the multiple layers to ilya's chirps to scott genuinely impressive, like he doesn't find it amusing. evan, though to his credit he was mostly joking, making a sly comment about shane needing to hold ilya back from fighting during a game, like shane would do that when ilya is well-fucking-aware of when to pick fights and when not to because he is the second-best hockey player in the league; like shane doesn't also find it unbearably hot when ilya has a little blood on his knuckles and dripping down the corner of his lips as he calls out mean little quips at the other team with a smirk on his face

because the thing about their relationship is that shane is undeniably attracted to ilya being an asshole. he thinks it's funny. it almost definitely also turns him on. and he likes when ilya is mean and smug and rowdy and a little shit. he likes when ilya is an asshole to him because that's their banter and their foreplay. he likes when ilya is an asshole to other people because he pretty much always thinks what ilya says is hilarious. (plus it's the fact that shane is also an asshole; it's just that ilya says it out loud more often than he does)

and so the thing about their relationship that, for some fucking reason, other people don't get is that shane, from the very beginning, has always and will continue to like when ilya is an asshole. and yes, they're married (shane also thinks some people seem to forget this, because why would shane marry ilya if he truly doesn't like ilya's personality. he thinks other people are a little stupid sometimes.) but they're also best friends and bond over being the best at what they do and how competitive they are and that they're both a little bitchy at times

long story short, i think that at some point during the first season of them playing together, all of the cens (and various other friends/players) eventually learn, as shane continues to not react the way they expect him to, that shane is THE biggest ilya enabler. he won't tell ilya off or nag him, but is actually probably standing a little off to the side with a tiny little smirk on his lips and hearts (and a little heat) in his eyes as he watches his husband

[darlingofdots]

okay but Shane takes a hit late in the game and doesn't return so in the post-game presser somebody (they're new, they don't know any better, they will never make this mistake again) asks Ilya "how's Hollander's head" and Ilya experiences every emotion at once as he wrestles with the lingering terror of seeing the love of his life take five seconds too long to get up (he's fine) and also the sheer delight at being offered this perfect, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity on a silver platter

[pointless-letters]

One of the best letters I’ve ever seen just popped up on my Facebook memories. Still makes me laugh.

[pointless-letters]

As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.

[pointless-letters]

Today is the 54th anniversary of the moon landing, but Dinah’s diary entry is still absolutely magnificent.

[pointless-letters]

57th anniversary of the moon landing and the best diary entry in the history of diary entries. Sit down Samuel Pepys, it’s over. UGH.

[dreamlogic]

im in the bathroom listening to the following conversation between my roommate and my cat in the hallway outside trying to stifle my laughter.

roommate: is there a problem?

cat: RAH!

roommate: oh no, is the door shut? did charlie lock you out of the bathroom?

cat: mweh...

roommate: well you see, i could fix that problem for you—

cat: MYEH!

roommate: —but due to social rules that you probably couldn't understand even if i explained them,

cat: gWAAH... mow..

roommate: yeah, dude, i hear you, but it's not gonna happen.

cat: MRRRR..!

roommate: i know i have opposable thumbs, but my hands are tied, thumbs and all. i'm sorry, i wish it didn't have to be this way.

[sound of roommate's door closing, followed by desperate scrabbling claws on the bathroom door]

[prokopetz]

You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.

[calloutnevvegas]

For everyone in the comments asking how flamingos are extremophiles:

Flamingos can survive in low oxygen, high altitude, high temperatures, low temperatures, high alkaline, they can and will drink boiling water and they can be completely frozen at night and still get up the next morning

Don’t fuck with flamingos

[revretch]

….. Didn’t know most of that

[iamthekaijuking]

Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.

[revretch]

Oh yeah, this leaves out what I *did* know about them–they can also survive hypersalinity. That is, water so salty it kills practically everything else–water so salty it burns your skin.

American flamingos just drink that shit

[bogleech]

(animal death) this is a real undoctored photograph (*though the body was stood up for the shot) of a dead flamingo on the surface of lake natron, a lake so salty and so alkaline that it’s naturally carbonated like soda and would eat through your stomach lining if you drank from it.

When this photo went viral years ago, most people assumed this poor flamingo must have been killed by the lake.

It is actually the lake where 75% of its global population are hatched. This is a photo from the same lake:

[assuming-dinosaur]

Some species of flamingo actually subsist almost entirely on a diet of bacteria! In other words, there is a species of dinosaur that eats only bacteria and lives in lakes so toxic they would kill almost anything else—and it is best known to the average person as a kitschy lawn decoration.

[whereareyourightnow]

Are you sure we should be paying attention to these guys?

[bowelfly]

first artfight piece of the month, for meezy

[batbetbitbotbut]

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

[batbetbitbotbut]

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

[introvertia]

Pizza, serves 8, yes I 8 it all.

[urie]

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

[queer-reader-07]

[dudewithabow]

after you’ve been through like a string of fandoms and you’ve decided your favourite character/s for each one, there will come a day when you will list all your faves from each fandom side by side and look at them carefully and realise

you have a type

[birdplushie]

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

[carbomcoco]

"these researchers published a paper on something that literally any of us could have told you 🙄" ok well my supervisors wont let me write something in my thesis unless I can back it up with a citation so maybe it's a good thing that they're amplifying your voice to the scientific community in a way that prevents people from writing off your experiences as annecdotal evidence

[carbomcoco]

they did the research in the first place because they believed you and wanted to tell people about it. they are not our enemies.

[aphony-cree]

people always go "Instead of spending all that time on a study they could have just listened to us when we said these thing happen"

they did listen, that's how studies work, they asked people about their experiences and put all the data together in a nice package that can be cited

[hudkarma]

cutie pie why did you unarchive this post I’m not complaining in fact I’m delighted

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

[lostsometime]

Also the new linguistic quirk of just saying “it was 2020” as like. The full end of a story. You say “it was 2020” and everyone knows what you mean.

“I was going to get my masters degree but then it was 2020, so yeah”

“I was cast in a play and then it was 2020”

“my boyfriend proposed but then it was 2020”

[buddiesblr]

“they touch each other twelve fucking times in one conversation” – kenneth choi (x.)

[leaveamessage]

Fouling in the MLH takes a steep decline the first year Shane & Ilya play together on the Centaurs, and they’re a bit confused why all their regular season games have been relatively un-physical. Then in one game against Toronto, some idiot (probably Dallas Kent) crosschecks Luca, and the Centaurs activate the Hollanov Power Play Special they’ve been training for all season and Toronto is swiftly, instantly, and absolutely fucked. Suddenly it becomes very clear why every team in the league is on their best behavior against Ottawa: because against Shane and Ilya’s power play, a foul will almost always cost you a fucking goal. That’s how insane their power play percentage is, and all the other teams can do is never give them a reason to be on the ice together. (Personally, the other Centaurs love this and go out of their way to draw fouls, just to see the immediate horror on the other team’s faces)