Room full of goblins

She cosmic on my horror til I… no I cannot say

[ozempicofficial]

[girlnephew]

[monidoll]

Tip: you can microwave stale croissant for 15-20 seconds and it will become soft and warm and nice. Cut it open, put butter in it. Peace and love

[evil-tips]

Tip: you can refrigerate stale croissant for 3-6 hours and it will become mushy and cold and unpleasant. It won't cut well, so just put a big clump of cold, hard butter on it. Strife and hatred.

[maidthings]

Tip: you can do nothing to a stale croissant for any arbitrary length of time and it will remain as is. Do not cut it, or add butter. Stasis and stagnation.

[kosmogrl]

[devoid-of-love]

me, on lantern control @ my opponent

[pizzaback]

“nobody in miami knows how to drive” “nobody in austin knows how to drive” “nobody in chicago knows how to drive” maybe we shouldnt have cars

[tweedlebean]

Maybe we should find people who are good at driving and give them really big cars, and then people can just pay a small fee to be driven around the city. Maybe in a regular loop so people always know where they'll be at certain times of the day.

[red-twist]

But what if those really big cars were also really long and fast?

[anexperimentallife]

And what if they ran on electricity? But what to call them?

[inthefallofasparrow]

Fantabulous Looping Electromnibus!

[tragicallybeautifultiger]

I like the way you think

[kaity--did]

Hey what’s the weirdest, morally neutral parenting hack thing you do? For us our 2.5 year old refuses to take any kind of medicine so we mix her meds in sugar free root beer and call it magic root beer

[deadmomjokes]

I do a lot of what I call Reframe and Rename. Literally it's just calling the Hated/Dreaded Thing something else that doesn't carry the Evil Associations. Yes it will sound dumb at first and anyone who overhears is gonna think you're nuts, but you can't let the child know you think that or they'll see through it.

It's not time for a shower (evil herald of bedtime or going places), it's time for Inside Rainstorm (fun defying the laws of nature playtime).

It's not "you have to ride in the shopping cart today so mama doesn't lose you in the crowded store" (cruel affront to autonomy), "let's do Buggy Racecar Obstacle Course today" (powerful chaotic zoomies time).

Soup or stew (wicked disgusting food that will surely kill us all) becomes "veggies and glorpy sauce" (mysterious and fun!).

"You want some meat/beans/tofu/[insert actual food name here]?" = meltdown freakout "You want some protein for your big ol' muscles?" = holy crap she actually just ate a protein of her own volition

When in doubt, just describe the thing, preferably in the most bonkers way possible.

[hannagoldworthy]

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 31, 1985 | GoComics.com

Calvin: I'm not eating this green stuff. Yecchh! Dad: Good idea, Calvin. It's a plate of toxic waste that wil turn you into a mutant if you

There’s always a Calvin and Hobbes comic for every parenting situation lol

[lilyrose225writes]

my mother called spinach pasta Green Pasta until I was 13. I did not know I was eating spinach until the first time I helped her make it and literally took the spinach out of the fridge myself.

(we still call it Green Pasta at home)

[sashaforthewin]

You can still do this as an adult, too. I share pictures of my salads to friends and call it Leaf Snack and I'll have a pile of vegetables and call it Plant Feast or a bowl of berries and cherry tomatoes will be Round Feast (which was a particular favorite of many) and people will reply saying they now want to get a Leaf Snack. And you can do this with anything throughout your life to make it more fun and exciting and engaging. Time to exercise? No, it's Flail Around Time or time for walkies!

[jenroses]

It varies by kid but for my eldest I would give them a small serving of a new food and say, "you will probably hate this but you need to eat one bite to try it."

And my contrary child would take a bite, indignantly announce, "I do too like it!" And it worked even after they knew why I was doing it.

My youngest, this approach would not work at all as he would just agree with me.

[tax--payer]

she will not be surviving my wrath

[adastrabbit]

i made your cat get hit by a lightning spell

[chimaeraundying]

a second later. naught remains.

[bedupolker]

More random rodentia (pack rats, grasshopper mouse, kaibab squirrel, kangaroo rat, deer mices)

[bedupolker]

Was rusty ever too big for mama mouses bed

youd have to imagine they needed to go furniture shopping

[bedupolker]

Mouse butch lesbian?

finally a good fucking ask

(I've posted grasshopper mouse auntie before but w/e)

[jamdrawers]

Friendship ended with warhammer

Trench crusade is best friend now

[memeuplift]

[cali]

2018 tumblr post:

1: why do they call it a boner when theres no bone in it

2: there used to be

3: why does this sound so ominous

2025 tumblr post:

1: forward my shambling soldiers and slay without thinking. let blood flow into every crevice of this rotten land

2: yes my lady

3: yes my lady

[dandylyonsolarium]

Bramblethorn - the reanimated corpse of a planet

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[littjara-mirrorlake]

I wanted to wait until all the Muraganda legendaries were previewed so I could admire them all in one post, and I'm not disappointed in the least!!

I love the glimpses at Muraganda's worldbuilding we get through these paragraphs of flavor text, from the politics of the sapient civilizations to the geography, biology, and even ancient history of Muraganda's land. I can't wait to visit this plane again, hopefully on its own, and dig into all that these legendaries hint at.

[frankenfran]

whenever people say they can't watch/play/read anything slightly upsetting or scary or challenging because it's... upsetting or scary or challenging all i can think of is this lol