the poison in your poison.

21. CDD. He/him.

[asexual-amanita]

Harm reduction is a real and important thing by the way. It’s not a “lazy” or “half-assed” way to recover, It’s an important process backed by science, and often the only realistic way for many people to overcome addictions and similar struggles.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[forestbunch-deactivated20230418]

Reminder that Christian Ritual Abuse or Christian Religious Abuse is a well-documented occurrence. Calling all religious-based organized abuse and cult trafficking ‘Satanic’ by default even when it is happening inside a Christian or Catholic church/school/commune/etc., uses Christian ideology to excuse abuse, and uses traditional Christian rituals and holidays - is a way to divert responsibility from Christianity and the many problematic, hierarchal aspects of that ideology that can be and often are used for abuse;

Examples include “To Train Up A Child”, The Duggars, Catholic Residential Schools, Conversion “Therapy” Camps, the many Troubled Teen Industry places that are Christian, ATI, FLDS, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and literally countless more Christian cults most of which are explicitly pro-beating children into submission and staying with abusers.

Abuse is not about any spiritual being or spiritual belief no matter how common or obscure; abuse is about systems of hierarchy and oppression. The colonized, white supremacist version of the Christian religion is one of many such systems of power that needs to be dismantled in society if we want to actually address abuse instead of chasing boogeymen and scapegoating the mentally ill.

[aurangg]

Something really not talked about with trauma disorders is the paranoia.

Being scared and jumping to conclusions when people stand a little too close to you, not believing people’s compliments and thinking they have hidden motives, not believing when people tell you they like/love you, thinking that strangers you see on the street want to hurt you, etc.

[32sys]

is exomemory an endo term or are all the top posts pro-endo bc tumblr sucks

[sanity7assassin]

For this, I would avoid Tumblr. This is a medically relevant phenomenon, with many slightly-varied names. There are some endo-tumblr-terms for it.

Experiences shared here are likely to be culturally influenced by fictionkin-type exomemories. This will include groups who prefer, and pursue, having exomemories.

From what I've read, in CDDs, it's generally looked at as an unintentional, avoidant process.

It usually doesn't have a given name I've picked up on. Case-by-case descriptions with keywords seem more common.

These incongruent memories tend to link with overwhelming life events.

Recalling a distorted, or entirely 'falsified' memory can prevent post-traumatic stress symptoms (memory is triggering to [c-]PTSD).

Doing so is inherently a dissociative coping mechanism, if it's a symptom of a dissociative disorder.

There are many reasons people may experience 'exomemories', 'false memories', and so on.

They aren't all inherently dissociative, to my understanding. I'm way less versed in those. They can co-occur.

[sanity7assassin]

Just found out people are online, with cutesy anime-chibi images of all aesthetics,

bragging about being "pro-cult".

All talk. Join one; we'll never have to hear from you again.

You'd miss your "🍓🌈" [strawberry, rainbow] friends & freedoms.

Your 'identities' mean nothing; you're no-one.

You're not pro-cult. You're a run-of-the-mill fetishist.

So self-absorbed, my goodness...

[sanity7assassin]

Damn, my #flag looks really silly out of context.

Is this only on my end, or is it whatever's recent? It's so funny to me, either way.

[selfdom-xii-deactivated20260126]

There is malicious and sinister ableism behind phrases like “you can’t/don’t have DID just because mommy and daddy were mean to you” and it will never cease to send me into a blind fit of rage.

There’s a reason why emotional abuse and neglect largely go unnoticed and uncared for within mental health spaces, and you only cause more harm and more damage by mocking people like me whose primary trauma *is* emotional abuse and neglect.

I’m tired of seeing it all the time, and I’m tired of trying to be patient and kind about it.

Anyway I hate tiktok. I like it here in Tumblr.

[sanity7assassin]

It's been healing reading research on DID.

"mommy and daddy" is actually: "both primary caregivers..";

"mean to you" is actually: "failed to meet emotional needs," and can be much more.

[sanity7assassin]

Somewhat of a shock, at first, feeling alienated in overlapping "plural spaces" when you have a CDD.

I see plurality as its own concept, and have mixed feelings on what I see. I just know I'm not plural.

My alters aren't people.

I'm not the host.

❛ I'm ❜ a random persecutor. For now.

My host isn't a person;

neither is my alter with polar-opposite gender identity & expression, who ends up being treated differently by strangers.

I don't identify as plural, and it's been made perfectly clear to me that I disturb some plurals.

I've read posts that could describe me to a T, refer to me (well, ❝ the host ❞ specifically) as a "headmate fascist" or something similar.

Recently heard: viewing alters as tools is "not normal or okay". Little context was given, other than: that it was regarding a real person's self-concept.

Discovering "littlecourse" blew my mind.

Get this: some of my ❝ child ❞ alters are stronger, wiser, and more reliable in daily life than certain ❝ adult ❞ alters.

Their ❛ age ❜ is not chronological or linear. The meaning depends on the alter.

Arbitrarily revoking my own 'capacity to consent' based on an, ultimately, symbolic trait...

would be terrible for my healing.

Sometimes, I don't consent. I'm an adult; my reasons are my business. This applies to all age-restricted activities. For me, not everyone ever.

And, an honourable mention 🎉 for every time I've been asked to avoid talk of integration (alter fusion).

That's just something I do. It's still happening, even if you cover your ears and go "la la la". If that genuinely troubles you, please confront why.

[sanity7assassin]

How many "tags" that mean 'tbmc' do I have to block to avoid these f ing " RAMCOA flag blogs"?

(why so many radqueer tags??)

No, I do not particularly want a cutesy graphic smothered in spirals which represent "programming" shoved in my face on a weekday morning.

I appreciate the effort. On-the-nose is always best.

No pleasure, for me, in knowing innumerable unknown netizens now have surface-level knowledge of yet another 'program'.

I think it's stupid to add these to your blogs. I think it's irresponsible to make them. Don't get wrapped up in my opinion. :)

My other alters can't look up "userbox" on main, without getting ones brandishing "silence programming".

You realise it's nearly impossible to look up DID on this site without these floundering around?

I thought they were exaggerating how complicated it is to avoid.

I've known too many people in real life who were outed as, or admitted to me - they were "wannabe programmers". Online, it's just a joke.

So, I made a flag for being a fed-up internal handler seeking recovery. One who can't help but feel a little fury on behalf of your headmates, parts, what-have-you-s.

They're in a pretty unforgiving position; online, with triggers laid bare.

Any resemblance to existing symbols is coincidental, tell me if so.

I think it's pretty sexy.

The red square represents me (angry). The black border represents the absence of sharing vulnerabilities, preventing an irreversible digital trail.

Yours truly, fed-up handler.

[polyfagments]

being introject heavy is going Great

[32sys]

i wish being an introject was as cut + dry as it’s made out to be. introjection is a psychological term; everyone subconsciously incorporates pieces of others identity’s into their own. you don’t need to share a name, a voice, a personality, + memories to be introjected from a source.

an alter can adapt overtime to become more/less like their source, meaning “brainmade” alters can attach to a source the same way introjects can detach from one. the fact that an alter is an introject doesn’t make them any different because introjecting is something everyone does, their source is just a larger part of their identity (which makes sense considering what is supposed to be 1 human brain is being forced to develop multiple separate “identities” bc of amnesic barriers).

this is also why introjects aren’t their source + shouldn’t be treated as such unless they want to be!

[sanity7assassin]

Holy sh t, syscourse has progressed to the point where people are acknowledging this? Seems like just yesterday everyone was using "introjection" and "fictive" interchangeably.

I think this is the first acknowledgement I've seen on Tumblr to the fact that

introjection is an ongoing process, where 'latching on' anew or again can happen.

[sanity7assassin]

Disbelievers in 'ramcoa' seem to push people into corners of thought, talking in circles about what's "possible".

Learned silence was our abusers' advantage. Give me a minute to think.

[plurality-pet-peeves]

I hate how people act like gaining new headmates is always this horrible, tragic thing that must be avoided at all costs. I'm sympathetic if it's awful for you, but stop acting like the rest of us need to hate ourselves and go to extreme lengths to avoid gaining new members. I'm not going to make my life worse and make new folks in here feel unwelcome just to get the approval of some strangers lol

.

[exgaytherapysurvivor]

I hate the direction syscourse has swung in lately. I just saw “My headmates aren’t people; they’re tools for me to use” as a take and people acting like that was somehow a normal and okay thing to say. We’ve gone so deep into the science without emotional intelligence that we’ve circled back to “core theory” with a side of “the host is the only real one”.

[sanity7assassin]

My headmates aren't people. They're tools for me to use.

I'm not the host.

The host is a tool.

I am a person. My emotions are tools, and so are my hands, and my brain.

Laughter is a tool of communication.

'Not normal, not okay' - I'll hear you out on this. I can't promise we'd agree. How so?

Do "normal and okay" often come hand-in-hand for you?

As for emotional intelligence - I hope whoever you're 'in-directing' this at has thick skin. Can I get a 'hell yeah' for whoever that was? 🙌

"core theory" isn't "deep into the science"; it's pretty surface level & outdated.

Emotional intelligence, as a quality, doesn't make core theory more / less believable (imo)... I disbelieve it because I've read better theories on CDDs.

*shrug*

/not mad /light-hearted

[sanity7assassin]

Acting like it's somehow okay to tell others how to view their minds. And who amongst us is normal?

[outnumberedsins]

Reminder that non-programmed systems can have hierarchies, complex innerworlds, and internal perpetrators, among other things.

Reminder that you can be an OEA survivor and not be programmed, or even be a system.

Reminder that programming is a long-term type of torture that is not possible online. You can be conditioned and not programmed.

Reminder that western experiences and perceptions of OEA can be, and are, vastly different from ones in other areas.

[sanity7assassin]

My "RAMCOA"-aligned experiences are the only ones people feel comfortable questioning as 'false memory'.

[annabelle--cane]

addicts aren't inherently bad people. I mean I am so I'm not the best representative but the rest of us are pretty chill !