Batfam Quote Hell 2.0

moved to evade the snap of 12/17/18 , formally shitthebatfamprobablysaid - incorrect quotes for batfam and my reverse au (and extra) - feel free to ask whatever just remember that I could get murked

[shitthebatfamdefsaid]

Batman: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and anxiety. I’ll wait.

Robin: Me and you! :D

Batman, tearing up: Okay.

[shitthebatfamdefsaid]

Jason: I think I’m gonna go full Repressed Homosexual Adult™️ and drink rosé in the bath while crying to Lorde.

Dick: Drink responsibly!

Tim: Live the dream.

Duke: You people need hugs.

[shitthebatfamdefsaid]

Tim: Look at this cool possum I saw today—

Steph: Where do you keep getting all these possum photos from?

Tim: ...

Steph: ??

Tim: ...I follow a ‘possum every hour’ bot on twitter.

Steph: Amazing. You really need a hobby.

Tim: That’s fair.

[shitthebatfamdefsaid]

I’M ALIVE

[kamikazesoundsociety]

[kamikazesoundsociety]

We have always been here. 

Vintage MLM love photography post

Vintage WLW love photography post

Please add more if you have them <3 

[caffeinated-fan]

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Clark: It’s not that being around kids makes me uncomfortable, but why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle?

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Kon: *crying in the corner* Please love me.

Clark: *points at Batman*

Clark: There’s an open dad right there.

Bruce: Actually I’m taken.

Clark: Like you’d even notice one more.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Clark: *flying around with Jon* I was so wrong. Being a dad is great!

Kon: *hopeful look*

Clark: No.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

#bruce would totally adopt kon tho#he wouldn’t even notice#blue eyes? check#black hair? check#bam he’s ur son now

Bruce: Who was that teenager in the hall?

Alfred: Did he look different than the other ones?

Bruce: No.

Alfred: Then let it go.

[time-to-hit-the-clouds]

I’m still upset that Bruce didn’t adopt Billy Batson. 

Orphan. Blue eyes. Black hair. The need to do good. Billy. Bat. Son. 

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Bruce: I swear that one was new. 

Alfred: What makes you say that?

Bruce: None of the other short ones smile that much.

Alfred: Just accept it.

Bruce: …okay.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Bruce: Where did you come from? You weren’t here before.

Billy: I’ve been here the whole time. I’m just small.

Bruce: Oh.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

[jasonsthunderthighs]

He’s canon Arthur Weasley.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

He’s Arthur Weasley in reverse. 

Bruce: Now I know for a fact none of mine have red hair. 

Alfred: Are you referring to Colin, Barbara, or Roy? 

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

@dumbdydum said: He just lost track after dick

This is so funny to me. One. He lost track after one. He adopted Jason and that was it. He already lost.

Bruce: Wow I have so many children.

Alfred: Two. You have two children. And one doesn’t even live here.

Bruce: This is just so much to process. I never thought I’d have a big family like this.

Alfred: Sir.

[shitthebatfamdefsaid]

Pass the happy! When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the most recent people in your notifications! 💕

Oh! I like this!! 

The colour orange, esp when it’s a focal point in paintings! It always makes me think of my opa, he was an artist and liked to accent his works with unexpected colours

When my dog gets cold at night she crawls under our blankets and goes into a fetal position on our chests. She’s not super big so it’s like having a weighted pillow on us. It’s my favourite part of the cold season

Speaking of cold!! I love the cold! I’m canadian thru and thru ba-bey so walking around at night when it’s snowing is super calming, and actually the best part of my day when I get to do it

Every time my best friend messages me. Doesn’t matter what time it is. Knowing that even though she’s five hours north rn we can still reach each other at a drop of a dime ?? my hEART races. I love that girl

When I watch certain shows or movies, they reminds me of certain people! Not necessarily the plot or characters, but the actual act of watching it makes me remember them. For example, I always associate watching 9-1-1, Prodigal Son, and Criminal Minds with my mom. We can only watch crime shows together otherwise we get into too many arguments about the plot. Watching anything pre-1970′s makes me think of my dad, he loves the classics and it’s just leached onto me while growing up. South Park, Simpsons, and other shows like that make me think of my sister. Our humour and relationship totally revolves around those kind of media pieces

i love these kinda ask memes they’re super interesting! And since we’re here I gotta plug the blog that sent it, they’re one of my favourite 9-1-1 blogs so if you’re a fan of the show you should check them out

[batfamfucker]

Okay but like one day Bruce Wayne is gonna have to be written as a Gen Z in order to like keep him in future comics so can you please just imagine like. Bruce who knows memes and takes part in them as a teenager. His kids still get embarrassed that he still references some memes but not because he's doing it as a dad, but because they're outdated af by the time his kids come along. Bruce Wayne with the same nihilistic humour as Gen Z kids. Teenage Bruce Wayne with a fucking Tik Tok account where he makes jokes like "Name something that goes down an alley with holes in." The appropriate answer would be bowling ball. He goes "My parents" and does this:

Bruce Wayne is one day just gonna have to have Tim Drake But As An Adult Energy (TM) and I am. Crying.

(Yes, I stole the bowling ball joke from a Riddler meme I saw back in like 2013 so I take no credit for it but I also don't know who made it first so my apologies)

Bruce Wayne who has to make an effort not to say yeet every time he throws a batarang because it's been engraved into his mind that the action of throwing must be met with that word like it's just law but he has an aestheticTM to keep up and can't just say yeet, it'll ruin his image.

Alfred tells him that he can't just keep beating up criminals for a living and Bruce hits him with an 'okay boomer'.

Anyway this post is cursed but I haven't stopped thinking about this for weeks and need to get it off my chest. So suffer.

[jasontoddiefor]

Hot takes why Bruce Wayne should be the Youngest Justice League Founding Member

It’s hilarious

Nobody would suspect it. Batman always comes across as so sure and authoritative - he must be at least 37 or so

Meanwhile, Bruce is actually 23 and just took in a nine-year-old

And Robin in turn just makes people think he’s older because if that’s his kid - well, then he’s got to be old enough to be a dad

You’ve got Diana as the oldest and Bruce as the youngest and they’re both the only ones with any braincells

Every time Batman gets a meme, people assume it’s because of Robin and yeah, that’s partially true, but he’s also a millennial

It’s gets better with every kid he adopts

Diana is probably the first to actually know his age but it doesn’t matter much to her

Clark, however, freaks out.

“You’re 26!”

“Yes. How is that more relevant than the fact that I’m Bruce Wayne and therefore can get intel on the kryotonite smuggling ring?”

“You have a teenage son. You’re younger than me!”

“Only by six years, Clark. Now could we please focus-“

Barry and Hal would straight up not believe it.

Hal’s the last to know. He just walks into the meeting room, Bruce unmasked, and is all “who tf are you? Bruce Wayne? Who is that- what do you mean you’re 27?”

Just give me Tired 23 Year Old Bruce having Old Man Vibes

[jasontoddiefor]

No, guys, I’m serious. If we want a semi-coherent time line, Bruce is 14 years older than Dick and was roughly 28 when Damian was born. That would make him about 40ish in current canon.

Bruce was born 1980 and he’s an early millennial.

Or, if let’s say the Battinson movie is set during pre/early Robin days: Bruce would have been born in the 90s.

[revenantbat]

It’s even funnier when you consider Dick being 8 years old when he becomes Robin, putting Bruce at 22 years old. Most of B’s earlier storylines have him leaving Gotham at 18 and returning at 21 to fight crime but there’s no way he’s in a good enough position with GCPD and founded the JLA with less then a year experience as Batman.

Which means he was probably 20 perhaps even a teenager when he started being Batman. Making him a Teenage Superhero before sidekicks were invented by, uh, him.

[antarax]

So what we've gathered is that Bruce would be that bitch if this happened.

[pen-for-sword]

Reblog if you don’t exactly understand why you have as many followers as you do but you’re grateful & love them all anyway

[itsjustaplantman-blog]

[lastsonlost]

upgrade 

[tom-nippleston]

I have waited ALL FUCKING YEAR TO POST THIS

Santa is coming tonight.

[lich-of-the-golgari]

@alltheshit-althetime

[suntosirius]

THE ONLY CHRISTMAS POST I DON’T BLOCK

[fozby]

dancer is my life

[thedanliest]

YES HERE IT IS, JUST IN THE SAINT NICK OF TIME

[equalistmako]

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

[damianmcgintleman]

he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!

[equalistmako]

you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too 

[prokopetz]

Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.

My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.

[snickerslizard]

Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?

[prokopetz]

Yes.

[iguanamouth]

[star-spangled-jackass]

oh god theres art

[tediousfeline]

@altadude you know what must be done.

[altadude-deactivated20190418]

[lesbopsappho]

ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr

[magickspills]

I apologize to all my followers for this

[watfordwallflower]

if i had to read this you do too

[quinintheclouds]

I have a hate-hate relationship with this

[theepitomeofamess]

………

[anony-phangirl]

Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Tis the season bitches

[theresneverenoughfandoms]

DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN

[logan-exe]

Why is this on my dash?

[princeanxious]

…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’m not bothered by this.

[randomslasher]

You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance. 

[pipebomb-malewife-deactivated20]

Tis the season

[basicallyadeadacc]

no it isn’t??

[dragonwolfcrane]

Falalalalalalala

[darthserket]

ITS MARCH WHY IS THIS ON MY DASH

[nyanbi-isnt-here]

SeAsOn’s GrEaSoNs

[everyone-loves-purple]

IT’S FUCKING JULY

[multifandomhumanbeing-deactivat]

ah, so we meet again cursed post-

[fleurdelis-system]

I meeded to see this holy-

[schrodingers-fyke]

It got better

[shortvideosandstuff]

[carnahan]

And yet there are those who doubt him and question how he gets around the entire world in one night…

[airred]

santa’s creed

[theslickest-deactivated20240718]

this has been on queue since january 2nd and it was worth every minute

[lacunadaisies]

I’m queuing this on December 26th I’m ready for this

[clarisimart]

You better watch out

[ajistorpid]

You better watch out

[thequestionablyhuman-deactivate]

You better watch out

[isa-ghost]

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

[averageblackteen-deactivated201]

Reblog if Black Lives Matter to you

Where are those woke white people at!?

[neesie09]

The amount of notes this doesn’t have bothers me…

[tangdynastie]

Tumblr has 30-50 million active users. Why does this not even have 1 million notes?

[gayngelofthelordlovesdean]

I have over three thousand followers and so far only two reblogged this I’m disappointed

[badass-dora-milaje]

✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿#BLM

[the-german-russian-skinwalker-d]

Blacks taste the Same as whites so they should have the Same rights

[babygoose-deactivated20240106]

^^^ cannibals for equality

[shitthebatfamdefsaid]

Batman: The League always asks me how I have such control over my previous Robin’s and Batgirls.

Batman: The truth is, I don’t. I have no control over them whatsoever.

Batman: Earlier, Red Hood called me in distress, and when I arrived Spoiler shot me in the throat with a nerf-gun.

[d-cookie-deactivated20210317]

Metropolitans: Wait You guys just got all these villians running around and you're ok with it?You're more worried about the traffic coming home cause of the bank robbery than the bank actually being robbed? Is this normal for you guys?

Gothamites:...Why don't yall mind your fucking business and enjoy that sun or whatever you got.

[d-cookie-deactivated20210317]

Gothamites don't fear the Gotham Rogues. Gothamites fear the Garden State Parkway after 4pm.