Fandom stuff and other shit I Found At 3 Am

We listen and we judge slightly

[edains]

Rick Riordan constantly trashing the movies for not sticking to his books then releasing a show in which he rewrites everything and loses the spirit of the books entirely

[6noura]

Do you guys think about how the moment Percy was casted as blond, blue eyed boy his poverty wasn't mentioned, his abuser became a comic relief, the media calling him a delinquent and a terrorist was removed and camp never excluded him? Because I do, a lot

[frownyalfred]

something I don’t think is explored enough in canon AND fic is how every single Bat, but especially Batman himself, would absolutely give anyone with formal military training heart palpitations if they saw them in action. oh you can fly a plane? you’re used to sophisticated combat? WHERE ARE YOUR VERBAL COMMANDS? how are you preventing friendly fire? what is the chain of command? why are you ignoring air traffic control in downtown airspace—

[bsmr261]

[limnaia]

Random military guy, seconds away from losing his shit: "WHERE ARE YOUR VERBAL COMMANDS?"

Batman: *examining a crime scene with his kids, grunts*

Red Robin: *cocks head an inch to the left, then leaves the rooftop to take care of a mugging*

Batman: *turns his head a fraction to look at Spoiler*

Spoiler: *midway through wrapping a lucky knife graze on her leg, holds up bandage*

Batman: *softer grunt, turns head another fraction to look at Black Bat*

Black Bat: *thumbs up, falls backwards off the roof edge to go help Red Robin*

Military guy: what the fuck

Batman: *produces small flashlight from pocket, points it at evidence nearby*

Robin: -tt- *begins bagging the evidence*

Batman: *flicks flashlight at a wall 30m away*

Nightwing: on it, B! *stops walking on his hands and goes to get the surveillance footage*

Red Hood, who has been slowly prowling in circles around the crime scene, with his guns out, seemingly ignoring everyone: *heavy sigh through the modulator*

Batman: *ignores*

Hood: *hesitates on a step*

Batman: *spins round, looking for the enemy*

Hood: *waves him off, recognising the person five roofs away as Huntress*

Batman: *returns to scene with a grunt*

Random military guy: VERBAL-

Robin: Do you really need your orders spelled out for you? Mother ensured I grew out of that by the time I was five.

Random military guy: wha-

Robin: You've not even been following the conversation we've all been having, have you? Civilians are so rude.

Random military guy: Who are you calling a civilian?!

Red Hood: This is Gotham. Who are *you* calling a civilian, army boy?

Random military guy: I am never letting myself be talked into vigilante-wrangling again. The Lanterns were fine, but not in Gotham. Never again.

Hood: S'what I thought. Relax, new guy, we'll have you out of city limits by dawn and you can go back to your cushy job on base.

Random military guy: Cushy, are you ki-

Spoiler: You get paid, my man. That's automatically cushy.

Batman: *wounded grunt*

Spoiler: No, you cannot just pay for my apartment. I will steal your credit cards and do it myself, like a grown up.

Batman: *hums*

Robin: You realise you just told him that he's indirectly paying your rent and he's going to be skipping around the cave now.

Spoiler: *finishing wrapping the bandage* Gotta throw him a bone sometimes.

Spoiler: Especially because I think this knife may have been poisoned.

Batman: *abandons crime scene, scoops Spoiler up and leaps off the roof to the Batmobile in less than five seconds*

Random military guy: Insane. You are all insane.

Nightwing, reappearing: You're just getting that, now? That's rough, buddy.

[zlarirosa]

🌟 pots_n_pansy is now live!

[chromaticrainarts]

Im not one for rock divorce but I gotta be honest it's the funniest shit ever

[rainbow-femme]

Oh shit wait ok

So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports

And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else

The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized

Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning

“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”

“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”

“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”

“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”

“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”

“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”

“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”

“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”

“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”

*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”

“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”

Years later when they’re out Shane reshares the clip and the only non-PR approved thing he says on the matter is “It was me, by the way. I am the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with.”

[assiraphales]

rocky always yells “enrichment for grace! enrichment for grace!” when he has a new invention to make the humans time more interesting on erid. grace, while appreciative, replies ‘I know I’m in a zoo enclosure but could we maybe not call it that? I feel like a bear getting thrown a pumpkin covered in peanut butter.’ rocky simply gives him a thumb, not wanting to explain that a significant amount of the population sees grace as the celebrity savior scientist who rocky keeps as a controversially young trophy wife and publicly lavishes in gifts

[scarlct-vvitch]

grace, who has been alone for five minutes: oh my god. an alien! im not alone anymore! i hope he wants to be friends :)

rocky, coming up on 50 years of solitude, imprinting on grace in ways baby ducklings can only dream of: if you leave me to sleep where i can't watch your heart beat i am blowing up this tunnel with us both in it

[scarlct-vvitch]

free fic idea up for grabs. godspeed

[deliciousblizzardshark]

Shane writes hockey romance* novels in his spare time and publishes them under a pseudonym (John Dutch) and no one knows except his agent.

A wag somewhere picks one up and discovers the hockey is really accurate and well written from a technical perspective (plus it’s super hot) and convinces her boyfriend or husband or whatever to read it and then somehow it becomes popular among hockey players as a thing that’s kind of a gag but people are also seriously reading it.

Ilya is extremely confused that CLIFF is trying to convince him to read a book but figures he’ll give it a try. Fifty pages in, reading the book on the plane, he suddenly realizes he recognizes the sex scene.

He never says anything to Shane, but starts casually leaving Shane’s books lying around for Shane to notice during their hook-ups.

*i was going to go with ‘gay hockey romance novels’ but then realized cishet hockey romance novels would be objectively funnier

[tothecottage]

adopting the headcanon that shane loves lesbian culture like he doesnt get along with other gay men (which is something he has to dissect ofc) but he finds himself with a lot of butch friends.

a fun scenario in my head is him trying to find a café in ottawa where he can just chill out and not be hounded by people and he stumbles upon this little hole in the wall place called Rosies and its filled with lesbians but shane has no idea hes just there for a black coffee and a fucking break. maybe a slice of zucchini bread. but he starts admiring the woodwork of the interior and strikes up a conversation with the owner (the titular rosie) who is this like cool older butch lesbian and they swap numbers and rosie tells shane about her home diy club and shane is like Cool a new friend :) and hes also thrilled she didnt gaf that hes a hockey player

[themoonandmyman]

Shane:

[arliedraws]

Being in a fandom for 20+ years is weird because you’ll see posts like, “How come I never see people mention x” and it’s like. We did. We talked about that a lot, actually. Actually it’s something that came up. And it’s hard not to be like, “Yeah, we discussed this fifteen years ago.” Half of this fandom wasn’t even born when these discussions happened. Wild.

[seren-dipitous-art]

I love the hc that Adrian just adopts the strange human their mate brought home.

[mrsbartlesby]

The Centaurs, whenever someone from the press asks one of them to describe Ilya Rozanov.

[imsodishy]

does his fine plumage impress you?

[emhidesart]

First meetings <3

[caralikesgay]

hard launch this, soft launch that...has anyone written hollanov going full gaslighting with their coming out? just straight up going "we've been together for years? why are you acting like this is news?"

double points if they don't even plan to do it. they decide to soft launch via no longer actively hiding their relationship, just slowly acting more like a couple around other people. they're both at some event and ilya finds shane and just wraps his arm across his shoulders, which maybe that could just be ilya being ilya, but then shane just leans into it? like this is fine and normal? and when someone questions it shane panics and is just like "why wouldn't i? he's my boyfriend" and whoever they're talking to is like "what? since when?" and ilya is immediately onboard with this game "since 2017."

they just keep doubling down "you don't remember me sneaking out to go visit him every time we played in boston? you were all chirping me about it."

"wait, did you two drive here together?" "why would we take separate cars, we live together?" "you WHAT?"

when someone thinks they're joking they bring up the group chat with shane's parents, ilya scrolls back to a text where yuna calls him her favorite son. they bring up a video clip jackie sent of the twins saying "we love you uncle ilya!" shane brings up his thread with svetlana where she sends him russian words and phrases she thinks he should know.

they quickly enlist everyone who already knew, get them all onboard to pretend like their relationship wasn't ever top secret information. shane posts a picture of him with anya, when someone comments "that looks just like ilya rozanov's dog?" he just replies "yeah, we adopted her several months ago" and ilya replies "love our daughter ❤️"

the more people act like this is revelatory news the more they inisist that it's not. "we started a charity together!" "i moved to canada for him!" meanwhile everyone else is slowly losing their minds.

[penandinkprincess]

okay but ilya and cliff being besties but ilya rooming with connors during the club episode makes me laugh because i'm just imagining him being such a demon to everyone that they had to put being his roomie on ROTATION

[penandinkprincess]

"SOS IT'S A SHIRTLESS AND YELLING NIGHT. I REPEAT. IT'S A SHIRTLESS AND YELLING NIGHT."

[tayasui-mono]

Boston Raiders watching the Tampa All-Star game highlights after Ilya kisses Shane all giddy, thinking, who the fuck is that guy? Because that jolly guy on the screen? Expression so different he doesn't even resemble their captain? He'd been a complete psycho lunatic the past couple months. Unbearable. And now he's giggling at Shane Hollander???