something I don’t think is explored enough in canon AND fic is how every single Bat, but especially Batman himself, would absolutely give anyone with formal military training heart palpitations if they saw them in action. oh you can fly a plane? you’re used to sophisticated combat? WHERE ARE YOUR VERBAL COMMANDS? how are you preventing friendly fire? what is the chain of command? why are you ignoring air traffic control in downtown airspace—
Random military guy, seconds away from losing his shit: "WHERE ARE YOUR VERBAL COMMANDS?"
Batman: *examining a crime scene with his kids, grunts*
Red Robin: *cocks head an inch to the left, then leaves the rooftop to take care of a mugging*
Batman: *turns his head a fraction to look at Spoiler*
Spoiler: *midway through wrapping a lucky knife graze on her leg, holds up bandage*
Batman: *softer grunt, turns head another fraction to look at Black Bat*
Black Bat: *thumbs up, falls backwards off the roof edge to go help Red Robin*
Military guy: what the fuck
Batman: *produces small flashlight from pocket, points it at evidence nearby*
Robin: -tt- *begins bagging the evidence*
Batman: *flicks flashlight at a wall 30m away*
Nightwing: on it, B! *stops walking on his hands and goes to get the surveillance footage*
Red Hood, who has been slowly prowling in circles around the crime scene, with his guns out, seemingly ignoring everyone: *heavy sigh through the modulator*
Batman: *ignores*
Hood: *hesitates on a step*
Batman: *spins round, looking for the enemy*
Hood: *waves him off, recognising the person five roofs away as Huntress*
Batman: *returns to scene with a grunt*
Random military guy: VERBAL-
Robin: Do you really need your orders spelled out for you? Mother ensured I grew out of that by the time I was five.
Random military guy: wha-
Robin: You've not even been following the conversation we've all been having, have you? Civilians are so rude.
Random military guy: Who are you calling a civilian?!
Red Hood: This is Gotham. Who are *you* calling a civilian, army boy?
Random military guy: I am never letting myself be talked into vigilante-wrangling again. The Lanterns were fine, but not in Gotham. Never again.
Hood: S'what I thought. Relax, new guy, we'll have you out of city limits by dawn and you can go back to your cushy job on base.
Random military guy: Cushy, are you ki-
Spoiler: You get paid, my man. That's automatically cushy.
Batman: *wounded grunt*
Spoiler: No, you cannot just pay for my apartment. I will steal your credit cards and do it myself, like a grown up.
Batman: *hums*
Robin: You realise you just told him that he's indirectly paying your rent and he's going to be skipping around the cave now.
Spoiler: *finishing wrapping the bandage* Gotta throw him a bone sometimes.
Spoiler: Especially because I think this knife may have been poisoned.
Batman: *abandons crime scene, scoops Spoiler up and leaps off the roof to the Batmobile in less than five seconds*
Random military guy: Insane. You are all insane.
Nightwing, reappearing: You're just getting that, now? That's rough, buddy.
