my feel good place

26!! Post when I can’t sleep (: I have fandom accounts, and *try* to keep them separate

[sleepless-jake]

I’ve been spending a lot of time putting my friends to bed lately.

[its-will-o-the-wisp]

Unfortunately for quite a few of my friends, once I feel maternal towards someone, they're stuck with me. I keep them in my pocket and they're mine forever. Oh, someone has a little crush on you? Well I'm going to have to meet them, you know. Oh, someone is being mean to you? Tell me their name, honey. Oh, you want to dress up? So, I can help you choose your outfit and dress you like my personal doll and then show you off to everyone while telling you how adorable you look, right? And you'll let me pet your head and tell you that you did a good job each time you accomplish something amazing? And you'll stay safe with me whenever alcohol is involved in our hangouts? And you'll blush when we talk about sex advice? Oh, yeah. My pocket angel forever <33

[ataraktos]

You‘re in her DMs because you wanna fuck her. I dream about her every night because her soul touched mine and left it in turmoil

[sleepless-jake]

He said I can say whatever I want to him. Except one thing.

Im not allowed to tell him that I love him.

[wetchickenbreast]

my coffin shaped locket is the perfect size to fit one singular ibuprofen

[wetchickenbreast]

this is surprisingly useful actually

[arcaneavarice]

stop wasting space and add another

[wetchickenbreast]

tres ibuprofenitos

[cipheramnesia]

¿En este economía?

[anais-ninja-bitch]

girl, ESPECIALLY en este economía

[treecitysessions]

[treecitysessions]

[abyssaldyke]

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

[salty-inc]

Gonna tell y’all what I can hear now that I got my hearing aids

[salty-inc]

Birds! They chirp and it’s so beautiful.

[salty-inc]

Far away cow moos

[salty-inc]

My friend has this is his back yard and to say I cried is an understatement.

[salty-inc]

My best friends singing voice

[salty-inc]

Chickens: *chicken noise*

Me, sobbing:

[salty-inc]

The filter for my fish tank! Bubble bubble bubble

[salty-inc]

I sit in the bass section in band. Today I could clearly hear the flutes up at the front! They’re not great, but I can finally hear them!

[salty-inc]

The sound of walking in sand.

Soft but kinda crunchy? Very nice sound 10/10

[salty-inc]

Me playing guitar for the first time. Took the hearing aids out. Not a very good sound… yet

[salty-inc]

Tree leaves in the wind. I got a little spooked at first because it’s 1 am and I’m alone in the park but it’s a real good sound.

[salty-inc]

Bees

Let me say, it was really fucking terrifying walking past the flowering tree in my backyard and hearing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz coming from it.

[salty-inc]

“sunlight” by Hozier

I sat in my car alone while listening to it. I knew it would be special but wow, that was a religious experience.

[salty-inc]

Their hooves make sounds in the grass but they are completely silent. Beautiful creatures. Beautiful sound

[salty-inc]

Pine needles and pine cones make crunchy sounds!!! Oh my! Very nice

[salty-inc]

Colored pencils make a real nice scratch noise when I’m drawing. I didn’t know they did that

[salty-inc]

I forgot to add this is the beginning! But that little sniffing noise that dogs make when they’re smelling the air or the ground? Wonderful!

[salty-inc]

OCEAN!!!!!!

[salty-inc]

So there was just an entire booth full of wind chimes for sale at mountain fair. It started to get a little windy and they all went off at once. It was so pretty.

[roarrzilla]

[ospreyonthemoon]

Pick up trash in someone’s garden

[big-condiments-official]

go deliver mail

[socialjusticeace]

work a restaurant shift

[zippy-zaparoni]

die from a terminal illness

[angeliteonfridgeduty]

collect branches

[feral-bird-enjoyer-deactivated2]

look at pngs

[tom-is-online]

babysit a 12 year old

[smalam01]

roll dice and do poses

[freezedom]

fight with a bunch of bugs

[b1gg3stb1gack]

Cookies fighting and running

[panfandomgoblin]

undead lamb fights god

[alternas-navigation-system]

squirt ink at people until they die

[flowersdontgrowll]

tap notes to song

[babylon-butterfly]

Turtles fighting a lot

[whatonearthisgoingon]

watch the robots.

[this-fox-steals-rocks]

run errands for girl who hates you

[toastghost85]

woman victimized by STEM

[mxsshxvon]

Small child wonders what’s at the bottom of a well and dies trying to find out

[eating-the-sand]

drive unsafely

[crunchy-bisquit]

be small

[bi-kink-blog]

Futuristic fight

[radioactive-bread-offical]

inhale people

[goldenbunny30]

Be a wolf. On mobile only(I think)

[s33k-gung1rl]

hungry bunny

[bunny-slippers-offical]

Take a ton of elevators

[man-offical]

cowboy ok? YEEHAW

[evil-man-offical]

Roll dice and do math

[halogen-awawawa]

fish but scary

[princeofthedark]

Three mentally ill queer teenagers

[lynxexists980]

avoid school project

or investigate some girl’s cousin’s missing person case

[possumsus]

Listen to static from space and succumb to the paranoia

[evil--tommy]

walk in big cave and fight skelotons

[satan-offical]

it’s really dark in here and there’s a goat

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

figure out why your son is coughing

[jasmineiros]

[shitswiftiessay]

also, its sister tweet:

[dandalfthe-gay-deactivated20251]

How could you forget:

[galacticism]

[slushi-chan]

Had to add this gem

[therobotmonster]

Pouring one out for Poison Junior.

[dejavudreamer7]

Felt like these tags belonged too well to be left alone @asteroidtroglodyte

[notahorseindisguise]

youd think a band named violent femmes would be made up of violent femmes. but it isnt. its dudes

[notahorseindisguise]

genuinely no mary... the australian dollar is not doing great right now

[notahorseindisguise]

i need to type with more of an accent

[notahorseindisguise]

youse may bloody reckon a band name of violent femmes'd be a buncha sheilas after a couple bundy cokes. but it aint. packa blokes.

[ooppo]

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

[the-infinite-casmos]

[ooppo]

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO

[siratonin]

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

[siratonin]

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

[apocryphics]

oh ok

[gorps]

[exeuntstormtroopers]

“Why would you stop in hell?” has changed my brain chemistry

[jame7t]

dead tired today so I grabbed a coffee from the gas station & the guy greeted me by trying to say “is that everything “ but fumbled and said “e ga thebythin” and me trying to say “yeah” or “yup” just went “YIP!” in response. No survivors

[lichtenbug]

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[kygerbearr]

mid-conversation I toss a pistol onto the table not to suggest or imply anything but just to change the situation a little