i don’t even know anymore

violet • she/her i post whatever i want, whenever i want

[small-ceramic-frog]

you’ve heard of

hot girl summer

💄👙☀️👛👡💋🏝

and

christian girl fall

☕️🥧🧥🧣🎃🍎🌧

now get ready for

sapphic girl spring

🌷🥖🌱🧺🍓🌈🐛

may include:

picnic dates

picking bouquets for gf

wearing floral print

pressing flowers

stargazing

sharing an umbrella

listening to dodie and addison grace

looking for frogs

reading sappho poetry

making a lil garden

kissing in the rain

[small-ceramic-frog]

bank robber: everybody get down!

person who doesn’t like milk: [quietly] idk it’s just weird to me how people drink the milk of another animal

[small-ceramic-frog]

let’s not forget about the most iconic moment in amazing race history, when claire was hit in the face with a watermelon that she accidentally launched at herself with a slingshot. luckily, she was okay and was able to finish the task but she is still, almost 11 years later, known as “watermelon girl.”

i remember first seeing this in an advertisement for that season when my family was watching survivor. my dad thought it was hilarious, and he made us video tape the ad when it came on the next time so he could watch it again. 5 years later, we were streaming the amazing race on amazon, and we got to see the whole episode.

if you haven’t seen it, you probably don’t understand why i’m making such a big deal about it, so, here it is. i hope it lives up to your expectations.

(this is the best gif i was able to find)

[small-ceramic-frog]

do y’all remember in like 2016 when everyone decided that they had to start absolutely hating the word moist

[small-ceramic-frog]

“fuck you, my child is completely fine”

your child knows all the words to driver’s license

[small-ceramic-frog]

horse girls:

harmless

honestly really nice

grow up to become librarians, witches, youth pastors, and artists

girls who made fun of horse girls:

mean

probably homophobic and/or racist

grow up to join a pyramid scheme that they ask you to join six years after graduation

[mbrainspaz]

I really enjoy just existing in hotels. The long identical hallways. The soulless abstract art. The weird noises the air-conditioner makes. Strange city lights in the window. Six stories off the ground. Strangers chatting in the hall. Nothing in the dresser. No past, but an infinite present. 

[small-ceramic-frog]

this is the post i was talking about before. i relate to this so much

[small-ceramic-frog]

there’s something about liminal spaces that makes me so... relaxed. the idea of being somewhere i’ve never been yet somehow seems so familiar,,,,, unremarkable and mundane,,, yet i’ve seen in a dream,,,,,,,, idk. it’s therapeutic. gas stations at night, elementary school hallways, dimly lit rooms with classroom chairs... it reminds me of that one post about loving simply existing in hotels. i think about the line “no past or future, but an infinite present” every day. it just makes so much sense

[aforest2006remaster]

concept

a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings

[aforest2006remaster]

you know… these guys

[fanotastic]

Hi op I hope this satisfies your needs.

[citrineghost]

Needs more worms

I wanna make one of these that is like a literal curtain of worms

No clear strings available to get caught and tangle, I want them nose to ass like some kind of horrible human centipede of worms, covering my doorway

[lonevarg]

@fanotastic more worms

[fanotastic]

Aw fuck. Nothing makes you assholes happy.

[fanotastic]

Fuck you guys.

[fanotastic]

[fanotastic]

My fellow fuckers, I present you-

384

[spacingout]

Beautiful

[astrophilebookchild-deactivated]

It is perfect

[bat-boye-deactivated20200717]

I cannot express to you How Long I’ve been Searching for this fucking post and one day it just SHOWS UP ON MY DASH? Hell yeah! 

[lespoopypodle]

I’ve only seen this in screenshots

[lilboreddev-blog]

reblog if your name isn't Hans.

[thatblackwatchdouche-blog-blog]

2,121,566 people are not Hans and counting!

We’ll find you Hans.

[skadiyoko]

This post is scandalous.

[malevolentpooka-deactivated2015]

reblogging because hans cant. 

[comeinwiththarain-blog]

If you scroll past this I am going to assume your name is Hans.

[kintrafim-blog]

I couldn’t not reblog…

[jennareneecooper]

3,531,544 non-Han’s

[the-sad-boy-from-nowhere-deacti]

5,943,343 non-Han’s

[supertinytins]

Wait- wasnt this exact post about people who are not ashley??? Whatever, i am neither hans nor am i ashley, soooooo

[faethe13th-deactivated20210123]

This post must have been from the editable posts era

(I’m not Ashley OR Hans sooooo)

[decimateddreams]

huh. i’ve seen an almost exact replica of this but for amanda…

[sp00ks-odyssey-deactivated20250]

we will find you you damn Prince Hans of the Southern Aisle and we will kill you

[luminousjellyfishy]

I saw one exactly like this, but for Amanda.

I am neither.

[that-is-not-milk]

i am none of the above

[rancidrat05]

I’m not a Hans but I’m a Jade

[catastrophic-writer-deactivated]

10,930,889 non-Hans.

[e-the-village-cryptid]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[nudesornaw]

if you’re having a bad day, here’s a cute little marching band

this actually made me cry with joy also one of them is eating noodles

[readsquirrel]

It just keeps going and getting better. *^^*

[involuntaryorange]

Me two minutes ago: “cry with joy? an animation of cats playing instruments made someone cry with joy?”

Me now: (sobs into a tissue) “OH MY GOD THAT ONE IS PLAYING TWO RECORDERS AT THE SAME TIME” (blows nose)

[son-of-a-tenth-place]

CAT PARADE IS BACK

[astolat]

I just saw the duck for the first time :’) 

[dancinggrimm]

Oh god, watch it, please! This thins is like audio-visual antidepressants. it’s so innocent and joyful and uncomplicated, and just the right level of interesting to hold your attention and let you slip into a happy little place inside your brain. This video has stopped me from having panic attacks, I swear.

[arcticfoxbear]

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

[arafaelkestra]

To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a ‘humans are awesome’ fiction megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australia.

[radioactivepeasant]

Earth being Space Australia Words cannot express how much I love these posts

[crazy-pages]

Alien: “I’m sorry, what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is?”

Human: “Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range.”

Alien: “……. I’m sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?”

Human: “Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy.” 

Other human: “Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least.”

Human: “Heh. Yeah everybody knows someone like that.”

Alien: “……. And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, half way to boiling?”

Human: “Eugh. Yes. It sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god help you if you touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes.” 

Alien: “……. We’ve got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy.” 

[val-ritz]

“You’re telling me that you have… settlements. On islands with active volcanism?” “Well, yeah. I’m not about to tell Iceland and Hawaii how to live their lives. Actually, it’s kind of a tourist attraction.” “What, the molten rock?” “Well, yeah! It’s not every day you see a mountain spew out liquid rocks! The best one is Yellowstone, though. All these hot springs and geysers from the supervolcano–” “You ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES?” “Shit, man, we swim in the groundwater near them.”

[wuestenratte]

Sounds like the “Damned” trilogy by Alan Dean Foster.

[networkentertainment-offici-blog]

“And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chill?” 

“Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about.”

“Amazing! when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures?”

“… well, actually…”

“… what?”

“…we kinda……. sent……….. people…..”

“…”

“…”

“…what?”

“we sent-”

“no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent… HUMANS… to a place one hundred degrees below freezing?”

“y-yeah”

“and they didn’t… die?”

“Well the first few did”

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?”

[arcticfoxbear]

My new favorite Humans are Weird quote

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE?”

aka The History of Russia

aka Arctic Exploration

aka The History of Alaska

[unicornempire]

Being from Alaska, this was sort of how I felt going to college in the lower 48′s and learned that no one else had been put through a literal survival camp as a regular part of their school curriculum, including but not limited to:

1. Learning to recognize all forms of animal tracks in the wild so you can avoid bears and moose and search out rabbits and other small animals to eat.

2. Extensive swimming and climbing on glacial pieces with competitions to see who could last the longest, followed by a group sit in the sauna so we wouldn’t get hypothermia (no, not kidding, I really did this many times as a kid!)

3. How to navigate using the stars to get back to civilization.

4. How to select the right type of moss from the trees to start a fire with damp wood (because, y’know, you’re in a field of snow. Nothing is dry.)

5. How to carve out a small igloo-like space to sleep in the snow to preserve body heat and reduce the windchill so you won’t freeze to death in the arctic.

[reformed-roark]

“I’m telling you, I don’t think we need to worry about territory conflicts with the humans. You know all those deathtrap hell-worlds in the Argoth Cluster?” “Those worthless rocks? Yeah.” “80% of them are considered ‘resort destinations’ by those freaky little primates.”

[down-sizing-deactivated20180211]

“I’m telling you, they terraform for fun!” “Don’t be ridiculous” “No, seriously. Some of their most celebrated cultural loci are built on swamps. They have an entire city that is literally in a body of water. Not, like, an artificial pontoon city, they literally sunk the foundations into water. For Grilp’s sake, they build elaborate structures out of frozen water AND THEN SLEEP IN THEM.” “Dear Thilak. Think we could get them to terraform our moons?” “Psh, they’d probably pay for the privilege.”

[galaxystew]

Eventually, it occurs to someone that humans are the perfect terraforming shock troops, as it were. They think it’s fun to be sent to horrible planets! They’re really good at surviving and then taming them! All you have to do is sit back and wait until the planet is habitable, and then move there yourself! It’s genius.

It only takes one try before the reality of the situation sets in: human definitions of ‘taming’ and ‘habitable’ are woefully incomplete.

“Why did you not eliminate the venomous plant life?” Grahssk’ti moans, clutching one limb.

“Those?” The human laughs. “Why bother? They’re not that bad. And they eat the mosquitoes.”

Grahssk’ti shudders. The ‘mosquitoes’ are… not to be mentioned. Just one swarm of them caused a landing shuttle to crash three planetary daylights ago.

“And the acid storms? Why did you not warn us of them?”

“I mean, they’re annoying,” the human says, shrugging, “but we figured the cool sunsets made up for it.”

Grahssk’ti flails helplessly. “What about the ten-meter tall Fanged Death Bringers? They can eliminate an entire settlement in under an hour!”

“They’re so cute!” the human says, brightening. “Have you met mine? Her name is Spot!”

[exvind]

Humans are told of some planet or region of space that is considered “completely and utterly inhospitable - it would be folly to try and settle there.”

Without fail, a decent number make it a point to settle there because “Fuck You That’s Why.” It doesn’t matter how uneconomical it is, how difficult the conditions are, how utterly ridiculous it may seem, there will be at least one human who will attempt to do it only because someone else regardless of species says it is improbable or WORSE impossible. 

“This moon is still forming as such it is primarily soft - by that I mean most of the magma is close to the surface and-” ‘OH BADASS you mean its like Mustafar right!?!?!?! I’m totally going to build a castle there.’ “What. I mean. There is NO fertile ground there whatsoever. No ecosystem. It is molten rock and minerals only.” ‘Which will make my castle there look METAL AS FUCK am I RIGHT!?!??! Come on. COME ON. I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FISTBUMP COME ON.’ “….you….you are going to die, you know this right?” ‘I’m getting the feeling you don’t want to come to Lava Castle for some reason?’

[strangenewclassrooms]

“Listen, lad. I’ve built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was molten magma. All those aliens said I was daft to build a castle on a molten planet, but I built it all the same, just to show ‘em. It sank into the magma. So, I built a second one. That sank into the magma. So I built a third one. That spontaneously combusted, turned to ash, then sank into the magma. But the fourth one stayed up. An’ that’s what your gonna get, lad – the strongest castle in this solar system.”

[lochtayboatsong]

“I’m gonna need for you to explain ‘hurricane parties’ to me again.  You humans have the technology to track these apocalyptic storms of wind and rain and predict where on the landmass they’ll hit up to a week in advance.  And you…have social gatherings during them?”

“Well yeah, but only up to about Category 3 strength.  Then it’s time to pack the car and head inland for most people, although a few hardy souls stick around and ride them out.”

“Oh good.  Category 3 is what again?  Winds up to 75 kilometers per hour?”

“No no, Category 3 starts at 175 kilometers per hour.  You left off the one.”

[onnastik]

I’m sure I’ve reblogged some version of this before, but I needed the STRONGEST CASTLE IN THIS SOLAR SYSTEM on my blog.

[antigonesghosts]

“This planet is so cool!”

“It’s a planet completely made of ice.”

“Yeah! Let’s send some scientists! Or I could be the youngest person there!”

“You’d die, it’s below freezing level!”

“But the blizzards are so pretty!”

“The storms of dEATH ARE NOT PRETTY!”

[darker-than-darkstorm]

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?”

“No, of course not.  Nobody ‘sent’ anyone, they just went up there on their own.”

“They WHAT?”

[human-portalz]

Oh my fuck nuggets, the actual thread

[little-ladynightshade]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[smile458]

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THIS THREAD FOR MONTHS

[stars-a-n-d-scars]

This is truly amazing. I love humans.

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[small-ceramic-frog]

problematic “mental health” advocates on twitter: ugh my school counselor said that i can’t be depressed because i have good grades she’s such a horrible person

anyone: i have depression

problematic “mental health” advocates on twitter: yeah but on july 12 2019 you posted a picture with makeup on which means you have basic functionality so you must be faking because you think it’s a cute trend. unless you spend your entire life crying in bed wanting to kill yourself you’re obviously not depressed.

[small-ceramic-frog]

hey what if instead of making fun of “i’m not like other girls” girls we taught them about how dangerous internalized misogyiny is, and how putting down other women is harmful, and how femininity isn’t synonymous with weakness, and how every single woman is just as unique, powerful, and strong as she is. i think that would be a lot more impactful than just mocking young girls for having a perfectly reasonable reaction to the gender roles forced on them since before exiting the womb, because leading by the example of lifting other women up instead of putting each other down will help us raise a generation of girls who are going to change the world.

[small-ceramic-frog]

idk who needs to hear this but asking for help with your mental health is not self-diagnosis and if you think you should see a therapist, please do. the online mental health community preaches about how you should never tell someone with a mental illness that they just want attention, but then turns around and calls anyone who hasn’t gotten a diagnosis a quirky trender who’s stealing resources from them. there is nothing wrong with saying “i’ve been experiencing symptoms of [x],” or “i’m struggling with my mental health, and i think i should be tested for [x].” asking for help is scary enough as it is, and as long as you’re not saying “i have [x],” you are not self-diagnosing, and your requests for support should be respected. please, if you don’t think people with mental illnesses should be told they’re faking it, then don’t contribute to the problem.

[small-ceramic-frog]

the tribal council in survivor: caramoan when malcom pulled out 2 hidden immunity idols and phillip, leader of stealth r us, ended up getting voted out lives in my head rent free

[small-ceramic-frog]

me at night: the stars... the moon.... the sparkly little planets..... the world is mine and i will share it only with the gods who have yet to wrong me.......

me in the morning: wow i hate being alive