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Dick: hey have you eaten today?

Jason: no

Jason: I run on hatred and spite

Dick: ... Yeah me neither

Tim: I think Alfred's mad at you.

Jason: What makes you say that?

Tim: Because he’s cleaning up the mess you made and asked me to deliver this to you.

Jason, reading the note: "Young Master Jason, I hope this note finds you before I do."

Jason: *sends a voice message*

Bruce, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?

Jason: Oh don't worry about it!

[later]

Bruce: *presses play*

Jason's recorded message: BRUCE, THERE'S A F*CKING FIRE IN THE MANOR AND–

Bruce: There's no training today, because Dick is at the police station and I have some work to do.

Tim: HE'S IN JAIL?

Damian: We have to get him out of there.

Jason: Jailbreak? I'm in.

Bruce: NO. He's doing an internship there.

Roy: I don't think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way out of it this time.

Jason: *cracking his knuckles*

Jason: Manslaughter it is.

Dick: We should settle this like civilized adults.

Jason: I agree.

Dick: So, a rap battle?

Jason: A rap battle.

Jason: I accidentally indulged in too much 'Me time'

Jason: Turns out, I've been reported missing for six months and presumed dead by most locals and national authorities.

Jason: Yes, I may be morally corrupted.

Jason: But I'm also incredibly hot and I think that makes up for it honestly.

#incorrect redhood