#incorrect superbat

[smutslutonao3]

Clark: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Bruce: ...Have you never taken a shower before? Is this a Kryptonian thing? Hmm can I run some tests?

Clark: Bruce… I was trying to flirt

Bruce: Oh…

Bruce: I think your flirting skills could use some work

[frownyalfred]

Hal: hey Bruce, have you seen Clark?

Bruce: *over his newspaper* every part of him, yes

Hal:

Bruce:

Clark, thirty thousand miles away sweating:

[queerasbuck]

Damian: Father, why does Superman call you 'babygirl'?

Bruce, sweating: how about we stop talking for a little while.

[astecea-rae]

Alfred: I love you both and I’m happy in this relationship but I do not want a kid of my own

8 years later

Alfred: I’ll look after your boy. that is a promised I shall not break

10 years later

Alfred: he ran away. again, yes, I know. so far away that I can’t find him this time. I know that he always has this anger, this restlessness in him. I now what I can give isn’t enough, it’s never going to be enough. nothing and no one can replace you two but I tried to make it easier for him, to make it better. but it’s never going to enough. he misses you two so much. I wished that I’m sorry I failed you. I miss you too. dearly

4 years later

Alfred: I blame you, Thomas, you always had that dramatic flair. he definitely got it from you. ah, Martha, do smack him on the head for me, please

3 years later

Alfred: if you can see him now--what am I talking about, of course you can see him--you would be proud of him. I’m proud of our boy too

~~bonus~~

Alfred: there is a flying invincible alien who smiles like nobody’s business who has taken up on following him around like a dedicated puppy. I blame both of you. what? of course he’s interested in him but he is his usual self. that doesn’t turn the man from a faraway land away. I dare say things are starting to seem hopeful

later

Alfred: so obviously there is a warrior race of women isolated on an island which has something to do with the gods. Greek deities, yes. the princess has eyes for the both of them and that speeds things up greatly

Alfred: what do you think of wedding in June? May? well he would make them wait a few years before he comes to but it’s never early to start planning

[lithiumseven]

Clark: This will give you the time to examine and process what you’re going through emotionally

Bruce: I don’t like it

Clark: Really? I love feeling feelings

Bruce: …

[someoneimsure]

Superman, pointing at image: I look nothing like this man!

Batman: Clark, that’s a mirror.

[redarsed]

Clark: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Bruce: I do have a sense of humor you know

Clark: I've never heard you laugh before-

Bruce: I've never heard you say anything funny.

[niiwa-angel]

Barry to Hal: I love laying my head on your chest at night when you're sleeping so I can hear your heartbeat.

Bruce to Clark: I recorded you snoring so you can hear how fucking loud you are and why I can't sleep.