#toxic partner

[selfhealingmoments]

some people aren't speaking to you because they owe you an apology and they know it

[kissesbeneaththescars]

🎉🎉 I WISH I WAS DEAD 🎉🎉

[samptlay]

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 3

A/N: If you check my AO3 there might be more chapters there. Putting together a Tumblr post vs just uploading it on AO3, i think you can tell who wins my favor...

~

Series Masterlist, Chapter 1 🤍, Chapter 2 🖤

The group was already silent while listening to the doctor, but once he dropped the bombshell on them, others nearby grew quiet too.

March gasped while covering her mouth, Dan Heng & Welt looked down at the ground, and Himeko crossed her arms while looking away, Stelle seemed to not react, yet you could notice her pupils growing ever so smaller with each passing second.

Kafka's eyes fluttered shut as she let out a small “tch” and shifted the weight on her feet from one foot to the other. Silver Wolf let out a small wince as she simply looked away as if trying to hide from reality itself.

How you so desperately wished that was possible.

Blade, out of everyone, seemed to have a reaction that deferred from the rest. It was like he felt numb, went numb. Only being able to lock eyes on you.

His deep red eyes pour into your figure, even through the glass window.

Everyone already knew that Blade was closest to you, he had a soft spot for you, and it showed. It most likely pains his heart just as much as it pains you.

Even after everything, Kafka still found it intriguing, the way his hands were slightly trembling and balling up into fists. Glaring daggers at no other than your husband, Levi.

She didn't take a liking to him that much, neither did Silver Wolf & definitely not Blade. The group never spoke about it, but they knew why, it was painfully obvious.

The rest were on the fence about him. During college, he had been this wonderful mindful person, someone who would always be there to rely on. That's what had you falling for him.

But adulthood seemed to have flipped a switch inside him, and he was a lot more prideful than anything.

These days they don't keep in touch with him much due to this fact, but because of what he had done for them, they couldn't say he was a terrible person, either.

But it angered Blade. Why not label him for what he truly was? He could open his phone and scroll through all the messages of you venting to him about thinking you were a terrible partner, just because that narcissist told you so.

High stress levels? And who else would cause that except for the one you come home to every day?

He out of everyone didn't deserve you, but Blade also blames himself.

Would you have chosen him if he had done more to be there for you?

~

There was a brief moment when you and Ren locked eyes. Yours were red, almost as red as his own and he swore he almost felt a blood vessel pop.

Everyone else also took the time to watch you, not judge but simply observe.

They were either shocked, surprised, or at least taken aback by your tears. And you didn’t blame them.

You weren’t one to cry. Ever. Not at an injury, not at emotional distress, not at a funeral, even your own parent’s. “A weakness.” You would say, yet encouraged others to do so as you cradled them in your arms.

However, only a few took the time to stalk your husband as well.

Levi wasn't even looking at you, he appeared ashamed, even. But not of himself.

It would be obvious to anyone looking that he wasn't content with you right now.

But why?

Shouldn’t he be comforting his flesh and blood? Should he be there for you, reassuring you everything would be fine? But Ren knew you felt as alone as ever right now. Because Levi’s not even holding your goddamn hand.

~

[nonsensethoughtz]

i feel so stupid. how did i ever mistake your obsession with love?

[velvetgh0sts]

Reclaiming My Sparkle: Breaking Free from Obsession and Finding Myself Again 📝✨

It’s strange how you can lose yourself in someone else—how obsession and fixation creep in so quietly you barely notice until it’s too late.

I’ve been in that place.

I lived in that place.

And I’m finally clawing my way out.

⸻

The Illusion of “Us”

We thought we were in love—two people thrown together by chaos, childhood wounds, and trauma that mirrored each other. But in hindsight, I see it now: it wasn’t love. It was a hypersexualized fantasy, a trauma bond, a reflection of pain disguised as passion. We weren’t actually into each other—we were into the idea of each other. The fantasy we built in our heads because we were both so broken and desperate for connection, for a home, for safety.

I hate that I let myself get caught up in it. I hate that he became infatuated with my sparkle—the light I’ve worked so hard to protect. He told me once he was jealous I could articulate my thoughts so easily, that I was a great writer. It was as if he wanted to absorb my energy, my creativity, because he couldn’t find his own words. But that’s not my job. That’s not love. That’s codependency.

100 Things I Like & Dislike

One of the first steps I took in finding myself again was writing a list of 100 things I like and dislike. It was harder than I thought it would be. I realized how much of my life had been about us—or rather, about him. I’d lost touch with what I liked, what made me happy, what felt good to me.

That list became my blueprint for healing. It showed me what I’d been missing all along—myself.

Honesty and Boundaries

For so long, I was afraid to be honest. I didn’t want to hurt him, didn’t want to rock the boat, didn’t want to admit that I was suffocating under the weight of expectations, trauma, and guilt. But honesty is freedom. And the truth is, I’m learning that I was never meant to be his savior, his muse, his everything.

I used to be hyper-independent—the girl who did her own thing, who wasn’t glued to her phone, who crafted, wrote, podcasted, and created on her own terms. Somewhere along the line, I lost that version of myself. But I’m finding her again.

Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re survival. They’re how I keep my sparkle safe.

Breaking the Cycle

This isn’t about blame or shaming anyone. It’s about breaking the cycle. It’s about acknowledging the patterns that kept me trapped:

• The obsession

• The fixation

• The fantasy

• The codependency

It’s about naming the feelings, even when they’re messy. It’s about being honest: I wasn’t in love with him. I was in love with the idea of what we could be, the peer pressures, the sneaking around, but never were. And that’s okay. It’s okay to let go of the fantasy and step into the reality, even when it’s painful.

⸻

Reclaiming My Life

I’m writing again. Soon, i will be creating again. I’m slowly rebuilding the habits that make me feel alive—podcasting, writing, creating, spending time with myself. I’m re-learning my likes, dislikes, my quirks, and my dreams.

I’m not fully healed yet, but I’m healing. I’m not fully whole yet, but I’m getting there.

And most importantly, I’m reclaiming my sparkle—one boundary, one honest moment, one creative spark at a time.

[mlady-wisteria]

How to be aware of unhealthy habits?

What are unhealthy habits?

Unhealthy habits are behaviors, thoughts, and words one uses on a daily consciously or not. Most of the time the person is not aware of those habits and doesn’t understand why their surroundings is such a mess. With time though they start to slowly recognize some patterns but they don’t necessarily act on them to change. In fact, some don’t want to change thinking that other people should just obey to them and/or they feel like their behavior is not a big deal. On the contrary, some other do want but they may or may not have the tool to change their circumstances. The thing is, we can’t become perfect for sure and their are some behavior that can’t be « fixed » for multiple reasons.

Why couldn’t I be able to stop those habits?

There are numerous reasons for a person to not be able to change that, or even to not want it to. Some people actually feel comfortable in a toxic environment because that’s how they learned to navigate through life’s circumstances. They adopted certain behaviors because of their parents, their friends, their larger family, at school, at work, a specific event, or even sometimes it depends on their biological development. It never is entirely the fault of an individual. It is possible to notice that some people actually enjoy having a rather… « difficult » life whether or not they noticed it ; they grew that way and they want it to be that way too, sometimes they can unconsciously chase toxic environments because they have been used to that.

Mentioning that because of some traumatic events, one can develop disorders that either were already genetically programmed but not expressed or developed because of that event.

Cultural environment and beliefs systems also play a huge role on what is considered toxic and normal and based on what is the norm, certain behaviors that are considered toxic somewhere are not in that specific location.

Those factors can stop one individual to change their toxic habits.

Then, how can I change that if I am not in control sometimes?

There are some toxic habits that you develop because of a specific event at a specific time because of some type of people. But with time, as you learn about yourself and your environment changes you gain more self awareness and will you actually do something. You would be able to differentiate what you can change and what you cannot that have become part of you but with which you have to navigate with in order to keep your life stable. You would have to be consistent, determined and accept that life has its ups and downs that are part of your journey and made to make you understand your limits and potential and on which aspects you have already done the work.

Being true to yourself but recognizing your wrongs and good doings, by accepting your flaws and qualities, following your own inner compass with your own beliefs and finding your community are what will help you. The more you try to fit somewhere you are not mean to fit, the more you reassure yourself that an environment that is affecting your mind and body is good, the less you disregard people’s best intentions when they actually care about your needs ; the more you’ll end up disappointing yourself, create toxic habits and make yourself and others suffer.

A small piece of advice I would give would be :

Listen to your body. Listen to your mental state and pay attention to how others treat you and you treat yourself honestly, affect you.

Weakstar.

[corrupted-doll]

True story

So You know me, I'm big into hypnosis, coercion, corruption. I had this hypnotist I used to chat with and more often than not he'd drop me. I never wanted to - consciously at least - but he usually ended up doing that

Anyway, he ends up finding a kink I mentioned in a conversation and he like hyperfixates on it... and me. so like whenever it comes up, he's always like winking at me in a chat or whatever. And the worst part is, he did actually drop me before I realised that he was actually being toxic. like I love messing around, but there was no line with this guy. Every. Single. Conversation- it ended up being him just using triggers and trying to drop me.

And he was not subtle about his end goal. He wanted to own me in person. completely break my brain and condition me to obey him with nothing else in my head.

I still see him around sometimes online, knowing my luck he'll like this post. but even the guy who implanted fake memories in my mind was not as toxic a human being as him.

sorry it's not a sexy post, I just had a fun play session with a cute sub and was feeling introspective

dms are open if you want to talk

[selfhealingmoments]