Your Royal Dorkness

[docrimesbegay]

Realizing it’s not romance that I hate but overdone straight relationships with zero chemistry built on a slew of misogynistic tropes was like a huge revelation for me

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

I have a story about this.

My revelation regarding this was spurred by a little-known film that actually didn’t do very well in theatres at all, from the early 90s called Corina Corina.

Starring heartthrob of the time Ray Liotta, fresh off his Goodfellas fame and…..Whoopie Goldberg??? as his love interest??????

Bear with me here.

Corina Corina is the story about a man whose wife died, leaving him alone to parent his 8-9 year old daughter alone in what appears to be the late 50s-early 60s.   His daughter, Molly, is non-verbal due to the trauma of her mother’s death and is dealing with feelings of isolation as a result of her mourning process. Ray Liotta’s character makes a concentrated effort to be a good dad for her, but it’s real clear that both of them are still dealing with the death of his wife. Because Ray’s character works full time, he needs to find a nanny to watch his girl and pick her up from school. After a couple of terrible experiences (one with a hilarious appearance by Joan Cusack) he decides to hire Whoopie Goldberg. Whoopie Goldberg’s character is a college educated black woman (in the 50s!!!!) who appears to be doing domestic work because its the only work white 50s America will hire her for. She and Ray’s daughter Molly get along well because she is the first person to take Molly’s decision to be non-verbal seriously and learn an alternate way to communicate with her.

Long story short, Whoopie Goldberg and Ray Liotta fall in love and live happily ever after. 

But, more importantly, the way the movie built their love changed the way I was able to process hetero couples on screen forever.

1. First, they were both provided with alternate romance options from the beginning of the movie. Ray was given an extremely attractive white lady love interest, and Whoopie was given an attractive and charming black man love interest. Both of them were given opportunities to return their affection but both pointedly chose not to.

2. They were attracted to each other based on common interest. They both liked the same music, they both bonded over their ability to play the piano, they both loved molly, they both helped encourage each other in their chosen fields (whoopie’s was english, and ray’s was being a songwriter), they both respected each other’s opinions and they both were honest with each other about the circumstances they were in.

3. They were realistic about the issue of a black woman being in a relationship with a white man in the era, and didn’t glide over racial identity issues. Ray made sure that his white neighbors knew that he loved her and didn’t care what they thought. He even explained to his mom that Molly emulating black culture wasn’t shameful and that she should mind her business about the way he felt about Whoopie Goldberg.

4. When Ray confessed his feelings, it was incredibly heartfelt and he was literally crying.

5. They didn’t pursue a romantic relationship until Whoopie wasn’t working for him anymore. And they didn’t gloss over the issue of power disparity in that equation. Ray doesn’t condescend to Whoopie at all through the movie, but once he’s aware he has feelings for her, his new goal is to let her know that he unquestionably considers her his equal both in private and in public And its clear that he’s aware that this is the first thing that must be settled before anything else. 

By the time you get to the end of the movie, the entire concept of Ray Liotta being with Whoopie Goldberg seems not only normal, but exceptionally romantic and you’re left wondering why you thought they would be a gross couple to begin with when they’re sO cLeArLy MaDe fOr eAcH oThEr

I now call this the Corina Corina standard. 

If a movie has a hetero couple and their relationship isn’t as fleshed out as Ray/Whoopie, I now have difficulty accepting whats occurring. 

The concept that two hot straight people who are vaguely near each other just doesn’t do it for me anymore after watching Ray Liotta walk through a black neighborhood in the 50s and knock on Whoopie’s door to beg her to come home to him.

Oh so you say your characters are in love?

Prove it.

[unclefather]

I hate having a fever because why does it make you cold

[unclefather]

“My body is above the normal temperature. Time to become freezing”

[unclefather]

I’m not. I love gay people

[retrogamingblog2]

A veterinary hospital in Mexico used Pokemon Go’s snapshot feature to turn their office into a Pokemon Center

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[the-weeping-angel-slayer-deacti]

She’s a crow

[damianwaynerocks]

ok but if bruce wayne somehow came upon zuko fresh out of banishment he would lose his mind.

black hair? check. bad parent(s)? check. trauma? double check.

bruce: how’d you get your scar?

zuko: my dad got mad at me for saying that killing people is wrong so he lit my face on fire and banished me.

bruce, vibrating with excitement, already pulling adoption papers from his utilility: that’s terrible. how do you feel about capes.

[explorerrowan]

Zuko: Do you mind if I wear this blue demon mask?

Bruce: *sniff, tear in his eye* Not at all.

[kitt-the-werefox]

*Zuko fighting the Joker*

J: "wan na kno w h ow i go t thes e sc ar s"

Z: *rips off mask* i don't give a fuck

[fefeman]

I’m still stuck at the “batman has adoption papers in his utility belt”.

“Quick, it’s time to use the Bat-adoption papers!”

[silverscreenx]

Bat-option papers

[phantoms-lair]

Okay, but you’re missing the best part of this.

Alfred and Iroh complimenting each other on tea while they discuss their overly dramatic children.

[damianwaynerocks]

iroh: once, i told zuko that he needs to work on his inter turmoil. he screamed at me that he had no such inner turmoil, and then proceeded to go to a cliff during a thunderstorm to scream at God to strike him with lightning

alfred: master bruce and i have that interaction at least three times per week.

[coffeebuddha]

@absentlyabbie​

[animate-mush]

I see your "Alfred and Iroh as tea bros" and raise you "Alfred and Iroh as tea rivals"

Consider

Iroh: you too must learn patience. Boiling the water ruins the delicate flavor of the white jade

Alfred: oh I'm dreadfully sorry - for some reason I expected this tea to have TEA in it

(later)

Alfred: *aggressively laying out full tea service with milk, lemon, sugar, and, just to drive his point in, jam*

Iroh: *dying inside*

[damianwaynerocks]

excellent addition

[whetstonefires]

hey bruce spent a lot of his bat-study abroad in the far east and has kind of a weeb weapon collection so proposal, what if Bruce appreciates Iroh’s tea

while Zuko is enthusiastic about cream and sugar

further fueling their dad-figures’ passive-aggressive rivalry?

[princesscolumbia]

You had me at Zuko vs. Joker, I was crying by the Eastern vs. Western tea service

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Wait a minute. Batman and Zuko have the same arch-nemesis.

Mark Hamill

[library-seraph]

Saw the last comment and my brain would not rest until it happened

[darrenpillowscriss]

[lichrelly]

this post has everything

[vaporwavesimulator]

what if we were both vultures from different species and we’re sitting in the rain together

[vaporwavesimulator]

[despazito]

that’s an adult and juvenile king vulture but may I offer pictures of a black vulture gently preening a crested caracara

what if we were this

[dowereallyneedthis]

Crested Caracaras are apparently known to join Black Vulture flocks and benefit from their ability to locate food by smell. The Black Vultures reciprocally benefit from the Crested Caracara’s ability to vocalize and alert to danger, which the black vultures lack. That’s why they’re preening each other. :) (x)

[gallusrostromegalus]

Wholesome Carrion Friends :)

[deadpanwalking]

[salvadorbonaparte]

Hey did you know I keep a google drive folder with linguistics and language books  that I try to update regularly 

[salvadorbonaparte]

**UPDATE**

I have restructured the folders to make them easier to use and managed to add almost all languages requested and then some

Please let me know any further suggestions

[salvadorbonaparte]

[clockworktardis]

….holy shit. You found the holy grail.

[nonbinary-octopus]

Correction: You made the holy grail.

[writerschronicles]

When writing emotionally reserved characters…

This list is obviously subjective. There is no “right” or “wrong”, but as an emotionally reserved person, these are some things I thought were worth mentioning! You don’t have to do everything on this list, it’s simply here for inspiration/a bit of help.

Show your character’s struggles with holding in emotions. Just because your character won’t let themself go in public, doesn’t mean they don’t struggle holding everything in.

Find a motive. Pride and/or consideration for those around them can make emotionally reserved people hold back more than would be considered good for them. There are other reasons too. Think of something, perhaps the initial cause and the reason now are different, but try to give them a reason.

Show side-effects. Everything you bottle up shows itself in another way, whether it’s physical or mental. This can be long- and short-term, depending on the severity of the emotions.

Give them coping mechanisms. Everyone who wishes not to show certain emotions has a trick or two to keep themselves in check. Taking a sip of water, not looking people in the eyes, clenching their fists, breathing just a bit too deeply/shallow. There are a few lists of these online, I believe.

Write subconscious signs that they give off, which their close friends or family might pick up on. Just because these characters want to keep their emotions to themselves, doesn’t mean they don’t give off signs. Some manage to keep said signs well hidden from those closest to them, but it’s more common for their environment to pick up on something at the very least.

Perhaps make some characters perceive your OC as unable to feel certain emotions. There’s bound to be at least one person in their environment who thinks the character just doesn’t feel some emotions.

Convey their confusion/bewilderment when they’re confronted with others’ emotions. Most of the time, it’s difficult for an emotionally reserved person to understand why on earth someone else can’t keep themself under control.

Pick one main emotion to hide. This is the one they’re most uncomfortable showing, one they decide they’d rather go through physical and emotional pain than showing. Depending on whether their keeping to themself has to do with pride, your character might not even want to let this emotion surface when they’re alone. Generally these are the “weakest” emotions: sadness, fear, etc.

Let them cover up one emotion with another when they really can’t keep a straight face anymore. Generally speaking, anger is an amazing cover-up for a variety of emotions. Your voice is less likely to break when you raise it, that upset look on your face will suddenly make sense, and the fact that fear made you shaky suddenly seems to correlate with anger instead.

Learn the difference between suppression and repression. They’re two very different words often used as synonyms. I’m not a professional, so I don’t think I can explain it properly, but there are some great articles online!

Try to steer clear of making them unsympathetic. Not every reserved person is unsympathetic, but they can come off as such because they just have no idea on how to deal with emotions or show them to the outside world. Focusing on their internal conflicts, both with what caused them to feel strongly about something and keeping it concealed.

On that note: you don’t have to make them cold-hearted and stoic. Not every emotionally reserved person is the same. In fact, depending on the emotions they wish to keep private, they might be very cheerful and empathetic friends.

Do not, and I repeat do not, let them “give in” to their emotions the moment they’ve found their true love. This isn’t realistic. It’s laughable to any emotionally reserved person. Finding someone they’re really comfortable around is great, and your character might be able to let go later on, but things like that take time to develop. A month won’t suffice; a few years are more likely to be realistic.

Not everyone who is emotionally reserved has some kind of trauma that caused it. Yes, some people become quite guarded after experiencing a trauma of some sort, but other people just are the way they are. No specific reason, no tragedies, they are just who they are. There’s always our society to rely on for steering them in the “right” direction.

Keep in mind that everyone is different. I write from my own experience, as would anyone else, so my post is by no means complete. Try to find different views on the topic – from real people instead of scientific articles.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Last summer my friend’s mom discovered hundreds of teeny tiny toad tadpoles in a puddle in her driveway. It was drying up, so she asked me about moving them to a nearby pond. I told her not to, because moving amphibians unnaturally between water bodies can spread disease.

So she filled up a watering can every morning and every evening and replenished the puddle, adding dechlorinator drops she uses for her fish tank to make sure the water was safe.

The tadpoles survived and grew up into little toads who eventually hopped out of the puddle.

I think about the tenderness and compassion of this a lot.

[heyfrankie]

the chaotic sibling story to this is my friend saw the same puddle situation, asked her mom if she could move the tadpoles to an empty tank in her bedroom that used to house her newt or something.  She was 10 and in the thick of a childhood obsession with frogs.  Her mom was like “okay but only take like 5.“   she instead goes out there with a mug and scoops out a puddle, dumps it in her tank and starts caring for the tadpoles.  no idea what she fed them.

what i do know is as time wore on she started to see the wisdom in “only take like 5. “  As the tadpoles matured from little fish-shapes to frog-shapes, she was faced with the reality that she was about to have frogs in numbers that went well into the double digits. one morning she came home, the lid tank compromised somehow, and just frogs littering every corner of her bedroom.  in a panic, her and her mom evicted every last frog out her bedroom window except like one, which she kept as a pet but it later died under bed, because that’s the fate of frogs in the hands of many 10 year olds.

one day months later, she made eye contact with a frog on a sidewalk after the rain.  she swore up and down it recognized her.

[vinnie-cha]

Sam and Cas bond over lying to Dean’s face

Yall think the gods take classics classes for fun

Professor: whys your drawing look like that lol artemis would be paler

Apollo, twin sister to Artemis, has seen her at least once a week for 4,000 years:

professor: ares is the god of war and is evil.

ares:

[your-villainous-neighbour]

Professor: Hades is the god of the underworld and is therefore evil and cold and heartless

Persephone, who has seen her husband cry secret tears of Manly Anguish every time she has to go live with her mother for six months:

[ultrawebcomics]

Professor: Not even the crack of dawn was safe from Zeus. Zeus:

[naiive-and-starry-eyed]

Professor: *says literally anything about Dionysius*

Dionysus:

[stargazing-at-the-moon-deactiva]

This is great but are we not gonna talk about how OP doesn’t have a url?!?!?

I mean, ????????????

[peridot-the-kitten]

[yekkes]

I love seeing like… animals that are vicious predators being huge babies. That is my favorite genre of animal photo

[yekkes]

Inside every animal is the capacity To Be Bæbey

[yekkes]

Look at these vicious absolute Babies

[snackwizard]

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

[wildlyannoyingdoofus]

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

[snackwizard]

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

[808lien]

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

[maramahan]

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

[jkl-fff]

[scottjate]

This is so important

[ashitomarisu]

I have moderate depression, so this is very useful. 

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

......... different fantasy races should be impacted differently by each other's alcohol

no more if this "fine elvin wine" shit, I am going to personally write a fantasy setting in which every human knows that elf booze tastes and feels like fantasy la croix. there's barely even a flavor, and you'd need to drink a few to even get tipsy.

meanwhile, every human with a lick of common sense knows that you need to plan accordingly if you're going to be drinking dwarven liquor, because it hits you hard and fast and you'll lose feeling in your legs faster than you thought was physically possible. the hangovers are the stuff of legend.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the flip side is that elves are an entire race of (comparative) lightweights, and a whole gaggle of teenange elves can get piss drunk passing around one bottle of fruity human wine

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I think there's some compatability among drinks brewed by reptilian races (dragonborn, lizardfolk, tortles, kobolds, etc) although you run into similar translation issues as mammalians, but there is absolutely no crossover. like if a drsgonborn and a dwarf in a (very cosmopolitan) tavern were to switch drinks it would be a nonstarter.

"this is basically just a capri sun," the dragonborn says, disappointed.

"cool, I'm pretty sure I just drank actual paint thinner," the dwarf says. "get me to a hospital."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

humans and halflings are probably the most compatible drinkers of any two races, although halflings find most human wines, beers, ciders, etc, a little too dry and bland for their liking. halfling alternatives are very sweet, which makes them a huge hit among the 'I like alcohol but I don't want it to taste like alcohol' crowd

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I think it would be very funny if being drunk was like... a relatively new cultural development for gnomes? there’s just something about their wacky gnomish constitution that prevented them coming by it naturally (traditionally they’re more into a variety of mushrooms and other recreational plants) but once they started mingling more with more alcohol-happy races they learned VERY quickly and started opening, basically, turbo-breweries that are basically one part distillery and one part wizard tower. VERY popular job for young alchemists trying to make some good money, and the reason why gnomes are known (among other things) for operating the craziest night clubs

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

here’s who I think should be able to get drunk but become sober at will:

1.) sufficiently powerful paladins and clerics

2.) aasimar [all of them]

2.) very very few tieflings. it’s not universal at all, but few tiefling traits are. I know 5e has really solidified them as horns + tails + inhuman skin color but we need to be making them weirder 

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

I agree with every single part of this but especially that we all need to be doing our part to make tieflings weirder, and also please someone overnight me some halfling booze

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Kombucha Plus

[phanthumnightowl-deactivated202]

@obi-one-drop

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

if an elf drinks reptilian alcohol they die on the spot.

“Dragonborn! You are under arrest for the assassination of an elven head of state!” “I just gave him a sip from my glass!!!”

[silly-jellyghoty]

Orcs and half-orcs meanwhile are really into fermented milk booze (like real life kumis) that's basically a bubbly yogurt that makes you go weeeee

[snigepippi]

I've also been wondering about other drugs ad stimulants.

Alcohol have the same affect in most animals, because the molecular effect is so uniform (it softens the cell membranes in our whole body. That makes nerve cells react wonky.)

But stimulants like chocolate, coffee, nicotine and such have a whole other effect on out nervoussystem. They are basically the plants own pesticides and mean to kill off infections and insects. You need the right liver to deal with it, cats and dogs can't handle it, but human livers can.

Which races can eat chocolate? Are elves like cats that would die if they ingets it? Maybe it's something only humans can get, and every other race is envious because it smells so good. Or if other races can handle it, it affect their nervous system another way. While chocolate makes humans feel happy and relaxed, dwarves become hyperactive and kobolts space out and get hallucinations.

What about other stuff like spices? Capsaicin in chili is to deter mammals, but let birds eat it because they will spread the seeds. Do dragonborn and other reptilians eat ghost peppers like a mildly spicy candy? Something that would have humans sweating and in pain.

[wizardnuke]

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[aethersea]

some idiot advisor: I can’t believe his majesty lets his boytoy attend these council meetings, it’s an insult to the noble institutions that uphold our nation, it’s an outrage—

a somewhat smarter advisor: you’re just mad bc he pointed out how dumb your naval attack strategy and no one laughed when you made a mean joke about him

[fieldbears]

Boytoy has gone from a top fighter who was well respected but in constant danger to wearing silks and eating grapes on daises. That fucked up rotator cuff was the best thing to ever happen to him

[mzminola]

Bonus points: at least half the other concubines are experts in assorted fields, the monarch brings them to relevant meetings to both play up a reputation for frivolity, and make sure at least one person there doesn’t have an outside agenda.

[aethersea]

my harem? 

did you mean: my chief strategic advisors

[kitten-kin]

The kingdom is an absolute monarchy but the harem has become a secret meritocracy. The nobles and official advisors kind of side-eye His Majesty because wow some of these consorts must have like…really good personalities. Kings of the past have had their own specific tastes of course; size, shape, age, color, et cetera. More than one ruler has interviewed consorts feet first and Ardwin the Adventurous’s obsession - God rest him - with snuffling armpits like a sow rooting for mushrooms is well known despite never being alluded to in polite company.

The worst part of it is that the new king takes at least part of his harem with him everywhere and it’s so embarrassing. The Counselors of War have never once met with His Divine Majesty without that hulking battle-scarred consort interrupting with muttered growls or scornful snorts. And the Ministers of Finance all flinch at the sight of that fox-faced one, rumored to have been rescued from the gallows because His Augustness took a fancy to his eyes or some such nonsense. General petition days are even worse, with practically the entire harem drifting in and out of the Grand Hall in turns, insouciant and smug like granary cats who know they’ve been given full run of the courtyards and barns.

It’s absolutely infuriating that the kingdom has never before known such a period of peace and prosperity under this ridiculous monarch.

[cali-cocaine]

this is good

[embyrr922]

I’d just like to add, see how they behave when they’re angry/frustrated/exhausted, and if you see something that concerns you, wait until they’re calm, and then talk to them about it.

My husband used to yell when he got frustrated, but after I explained to him that I found it upsetting, he stopped yelling and started consciously working on asking for help before he got to that level of frustration.

When I’m upset over something, or just in a bad mood, I tend to withdraw. My husband explained to me that it makes him feel like I’m mad at him, so now when I need some space, I’ll tell him what I’m upset about, or that I’m in a bad mood for no particular reason, and I need to be alone for a little while.

See your friends and partners at their worst, but don’t assume that their worst is immutable. If someone loves and cares about you, they’ll try to accommodate you to the best of their ability.

[ladylike-foxes]

^^^^ This is the best advice I’ve ever seen on this site, and it is so important. Communication is everything, and is 80% of the reason my husband and I have such a healthy, strong, and supportive relationship.

[catnippackets]

when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right

that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we’re cool and wants to pet us?

[catnippackets]

had to draw it