hello! i am crumb cat!
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tannertan36
AnasAbdin
šŖ¼
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

shark vs the universe

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

PR's Tumblrdome

Kaledo Art
I'd rather be in outer space šø

oozey mess
h
occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Peter Solarz
we're not kids anymore.

izzy's playlists!

Discoholic šŖ©
todays bird
$LAYYYTER

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@thestoryofusandstuff
hello! i am crumb cat!
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it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii š okayš so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. š„ŗ and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! š«¢ and that is No Good š āāļø hahaaa So. š I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! šÆ Uh oh! š There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 𤨠Whaaat? š¤·āāļø Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. š I've been killing people,
soy yooo tu Ć”ngel de la guarda holiiiiii š okayš bueno. en como seis meses, vas a morir de hambre. š„ŗ y si no te protejo, me van a: #Ā”despedir! š«¢ y eso No esta Chido š āāļøjajaaa Entonces. šinvestigue acerca del tema y resulta que: Ā”puedo prevenir tu muerte al 100%! šÆ Ā”Uh oh! š Hay mĆ”s que suficiente comida para que sobrevivas sin que interfieras con la supervivencia de los demĆ”s, Ā”pero no puedes teneral! 𤨠¿QueeeĆ©? š¤·āāļø Al parecer, tu muerte fue premeditada por miles de cosas llamadas "accionistas." Y bueno. š empeze a matar personas,
c'est moooi ton ange gardien coucooou š bon š alors. dans genre six mois, tu vas mourir de faim. š„ŗ et si je te protĆØge pas, je vais me faire: #virer ! š«¢ et Ƨa c'est pas Pas Super š āāļø hahaaa Donc. š j'ai fait mes recherches sur les causes de famine et devine quoi: Ta mort est 100% Ć©vitable ! šÆ Oh-oh ! š Il y a largement assez de ressources pour te nourrir sans interfĆ©rer avec la survie d'autrui, mais tu n'y as pas accĆØs ! 𤨠Quoooi ? š¤·āāļø Apparemment ta mort a Ć©tĆ© prĆ©mĆ©ditĆ©e par des milliers de trucs appelĆ©es des "actionnaires". Du coup.š j'ai tuĆ© pas mal de monde,
hiiiiii š ęęÆäŗ²ēå®ę¤å°å¤©ä½æļ¼okayš åÆćęØåØå·®äøå¤å幓ä¼é„æę»åš„ŗ č„ęäøč½ęęØęä¼č¢«#ēé±æé±¼ļ¼š«¢ é£åÆäøč”妚 āāļø ååćę仄굚ęę„äŗäøäøäŗŗē±»é„æę»ēåå ļ¼ē¶ååē°ļ¼čƶååšÆäŗ²ēę»ęÆåÆä»„éæå åļ¼š čæäøäøęč¶³å¤é£ē©ē»äŗ²åļ¼äøē¹åæä¹äøéč¦å½±åå«äŗŗēēåēåļ¼ä½äøē»äŗ²ļ¼š¤Ø ęä¹ä¼čæę ·ęµļ¼ š¤·āāļø åę„ļ¼äŗ²ēę»ęÆč¢«äøåø®å«āč”äøāēäøč„æč®”ē®å„½ę»“ļ¼ ę仄굚 ęęäŗäøäŗäŗŗļ¼
y'all are doing some rosetta stone shit to me
every time we touchā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦,
i get this feelingā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦..
the piss is too powerful
World Heritage Post
šÆšššØš
Worst part about this is I've only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn't who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is
Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis
ššµā½šŖā¤ļø
I promise I only make shitty NFT promos as a joke
lord the peasants are so loud today
pheasants. PHeasants. The birds
Don't you mean classist Typo, as in discriminating against poor people, and not classicist, the type of academic who studies antiquity in southern Europe?
Not a dream
How are you all
For everyone who has answered they are sad, I propose we all stand/sit in a circle together and put our hands on the shoulders of people next to us and keep chanting, "There, there," and see what happens.
I support this, but we might try some affirmations as well
Tumblr added a new setting called āmpregā and you could choose to toggle it on/off. Not sure what that implies but I don't remember turning it off.
Get Farquad'
This is so delightful
Man: (exploding with glee)
Snek: (BEFUDDLED)
@bonnettbee i thought you would enjoy his glee for an snake
You are SO CORRECT
furious that i am not a playable character in this game
Enormously relieved that I am not a playable character in this game.
REBLOGGING THIS BECAUSE I GET THIS WRONG EVERY TIME
This may be the thing I hate the most in the English language.
I know *why* this says ābuy on Etsyā but it looks to me like lynati is saying thatās the thing they hate most in the English language. Iām like homie thatās another statement. Thatās a whole new topic
My favorite part about English is that it makes no sense, even to Native speakers.
hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?
IMPORTANT UPDATE: 7,532 species of frog in the world, ok?!
great news! 7,556 species of frog in the world, ok?!
Breaking News: 7,653 species of frog in the world, ok?
funny phrases to use when something goes wrong instead of jokingly saying "i'm going to kms":
i'm going to kill god
i'm going to delete my blog
i'm going to explode
i'm going to blow up this entire website
i'm going to become the joker
this is going to be my villain origin story
feel free to add on
THIS ONE WINS
oh you know
What is homestuck? Is it like goncharov?
Why must you remind me of the passing of time in this way? I already have to deal with the fact that no one in K-12 was even alive during 9/11 anymore
Can you tell me why Frodo is so important in lotr? Why can't someone else, anyone else, carry the ring to mordor?
but someone else could.
thatās the whole point of frodoāthere is nothing special about him, heās a hobbit, heās short and likes stories, smokes pipeweed and makes mischief, heās a young man like other young men, except for the singularly important fact that he is the one who volunteers. there is this terrible thing that must be done, the magnitude of which no one fully understands and can never understand before it is done, but frodo says me and frodo saysĀ I will.
(when boromir is thinking of how he can use the ring to defend gondor, when aragorn is thinking of how it brought down proud isildur, when elrond is holding council and gandalf is thinking of how twisted he would become, if he ever daredā)
but then thereās frodo, who desires nothing except what he has already left behind him, and says, I will take the Ring.
it is an offer made out of absolute innocence, utter sincerity. It is made without knowing what it will make of himāand frodo loses everything to the ring, he loses peace and himself and the shire, he loses the ability to be in the world. Itās cruel, the ring is cruel, it searches out every weakness you have and feeds on it, drinks you dry and fills you with its poison instead, the ring is so cruel.
and frodo picks it up willingly. for no other reason except that it has to be done.
(the ring warps boromir into a hopeless grasping dead thing, the power of the palantir turns denethor into an old man, jealous and suspicious, it bends even saruman, once the proudest of the istari, into a mechanised warlord, sitting in his fortress and bent over his perverse creationsāall the best of intentions, laid waste)
but thereās a reason gollum exists in the narrative, which is to showāwell, to show what frodo might have been. because even as frodo grows mistrustful and wearied, as the burden of this ring grows heavier and heavier, he is never gollum. he is gentle to gollum. he is afraidāgod frodo is so afraid for 2/3 of these books he is so tired and afraid, but he keeps moving, he walks though it would pull him into the ground, because he asked for this, he said he would.
someone else could have carried the ring to mordor, I suppose. the idea of a martyr is not dependent on the particular flesh and blood person dying for some greater purpose. but such a thing has to be chosen, lifted onto your shoulders for the right reason, the truest reasons, and followed into the dark, though it would see you burnt through and bled out.
I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.
y'know say what you want about tumblr (and I have), but this is still probably the simplest and most powerful distillation of the heart of the Lord of the Rings Iāve ever read. I think back to it all the time
And this is why you're one of my favorite authors Neil. You are always so thoughtful with your writing, even here.
wiggly toy
going
We need to have a nomination forĀ āStupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believedā and just move into an official Top 10 List.
For my nominations, Iām putting up:
If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
or
It is impossible that you spelledĀ āBerenstain Bearsā wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
I canāt decide which is more beautiful. Itās why we need a vote.
this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful
Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.
if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.
Weāre getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.
Two old favourites:
āBitch, Thatās the Tubby Custard Machineā (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)
and the horse dildo that was passed off as someoneās arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)
This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.
Rare blue watermelon
That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair
How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain
soap makes water molecules smaller
I nominate the āwe are killing the earthā picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012
the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar
āTequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you likeā
that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him
that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus
The two way mirror
ālisten here, cumslut.ā
I canāt believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.
I canāt believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.
all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)
infinite chocolate hack
berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)
mri scan walking dead gif
train gif brain thinks you died
tubby custard machine
horse dildo
moonmelon (and variations)
alexandriaās genisis
bird chocolate fountain og post
soap shrinks water molecules
we are killing the earth
ham on dog
tequila isnt a depressant
earth is lumpy
joker without makeup
voldemort fetus
two way mirror og post
fig vagina
How is bnha anime of the decade...... they arenāt even anime of the hour of the minute of the second
The notes on this post were so toxic that staff just axed em
1969.........
Yes, when the original post is deleted from the server (not just the blog, but the Tumblr servers), there is no root post for notes to be added onto, and also no root post for time to be counted from, so it starts from zero. Most computer operating systems use Unix, which was launched in 1971 with t.he epoch date of midnight on January 1, 1970 as 1. Therefore zero is one second behind that date: December 31, 1969. Also, very unfortunately, this also means nobody except you and anyone you reblog it to will see this explanation, as you cannot open the notes to see comments when there are no notes.
The first Time Traveler
reblog if your name isn't Amanda.
2,121,566 people are notĀ Amanda and counting!
Weāll find you Amanda.
this has almost 11 million notes what is this
Iāve never seen this post once in 10 years on this site