The Wandering Muse

33. Texan. Cat mom.

[asmeesh]

1$ flea market score. Tiny glass 1960s perfume bottles. I love them.

[shit-show-no-go]

Can you swap their heads ?

[asmeesh]

omg you can

[asmeesh]

Their meeting was foretold in the ancient texts

[theinvisiblespoon]

[whyenn-reader]

firm believer you can't be a ''good person''. too much niuance to life.

[whyenn-reader]

you can be good (adjective) but you cannot be good (identity)

[whyenn-reader]

if you think you are good (identity) you are more likely to cause harm as you don't consider yourself to be capable of it

[jackiefactotum]

I don’t even know. I’ve been having a really bad day. Have some sharks.

[the-haiku-bot]

I don’t even know.

I’ve been having a really

bad day. Have some sharks.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[dicksmasher]

autistic adult living alone working full time mood board

[tahthetrickster]

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

[tahthetrickster]

i have to do EVERYTHING around here

[blackwatersinkingship]

When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed

[blackwatersinkingship]

She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciöusee string

[god-sent-gender-bent]

Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀

[blackwatersinkingship]

Good news! Whäle shark lämp 🥰

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

[bumblebeebats]

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

[irl-loading-screens]

State terrorism charges have been dropped against Luigi Mangione. He is still on trial for the lesser charge of 2nd-degree murder.

[corwen]

source

[daysleftofsecondterm]

WONDERFUL to hear on 1,221 days left

[galacticcrash]

reminder: keep up with saying he IS NOT THE UHC SHOOTER, they haven't proven that he is, keep insisting he and the UHC shooter are separate entities.

[daysleftofsecondterm]

Important reminder- thank you

[youthincare]

people should be allowed to have low ambition, and also be able to feed a family on the salary of a cashier at a convenience store.

[msnbcpundit]

REMEMBER SKIP-IT FROM THE 90’S

[apjvff]

my weapon of choice during school yard fights 

[almostvivian]

DnD campaign but the only weapons are 90′s toys @riskpig

[allisquish]

Distance weapon: those sky dancer propeller toys.

[riskpig]

I’ll allow it.

[sensitive-inferno]

I have but two words:

[durnesque-esque]

Are those a weapon or piece of armor?

[kaleymonster]

Party walks into the inn to rest and the pub looks like

[riskpig]

Perfection.

[medinaquirin]

@anotherspecter

[biglawbear]

I ride into battle on one of these

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

Animal Companions

[techcat]

Fresh combat

[themetaisawesome]

Monks have to use these

[ariassong]

Wizard’s Spell book

[ariassong]

Warlock Patrons

Archfey

Fiend

Celestial

Great Old One

The undying

[kalkris]

THE B A R D

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

It got better since I last saw it

[unfortunatelyimaginary]

This is so weird bc being born in 1997 I saw all these toys… old, dirty, and faded by the sun

it’s so weird to think of them as new and current toys rather than the relics of a bygone age

[thegirlinthebyakko]

Currency

[bfleuter]

Dungeon:

[katedrawscomics]

the party embarks upon a laser quest

[xx-emowarz-xx]

People don't actually grow out of their emo phases. People are forced out of their emo phases by employers who get a raging boner over controlling how their employees dress, cut their hair, whether they mod their bodies and so on

[xx-emowarz-xx]

How many beautiful emo men would we have if not for the tyranny of the 9-5. How many strange goth women are trapped inside the performance of a clean girl aesthetic because she needs to be able to eat. How many people are wage slaves when they should be punks?

[xx-emowarz-xx]

A lot of people are talking about what you are and aren't allowed to wear but I think that issue is secondary to what you are and aren't allowed to do to your body. Like "you have to wear a polo shirt and dress pants" fine as long as you're paying for the polo shirts and dress pants I now need to buy. Whatever. "You must have natural colored and clean cut hair, no facial piercings, no visible tattoos" now we have a fucking problem because I also have to have that hair face and body outside of the workplace. it's literally pervert shit I've met 24/7 doms less horny about controlling how their subs look.

[crittizen]

this is a poem

[wa-u-moved]

i couldn’t not draw this

[i-say-ok]

ok…!

[luxury-nightmare]

babe are you okay, your reblogging the subway rat poem again

[the-haiku-bot]

babe are you okay,

your reblogging the subway

rat poem again

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[beatbizzle]

I overheard a woman at my job say "Your whole personality revolves around what you hate instead of what you love and thats an awful way to live." to the resident vocal Maga in the breakroom.

He was stunned into silence for at least 60 seconds so that was nice.

[championari]

the amount of vitriolic replies to this post makes me want to analyze why people react so angrily to having an unhealthy behavior being pointed out to them.

[wannabehistorianandauthor]

You cannot grow without accepting the problem

[weaselle]

[slowspinningredemption]

pretty sure i just lost my editing gig to ai. hate and fucking war on planet earth.

[slowspinningredemption]

like they've already made it very clear by a) ghosting me for months and b) getting my colleagues to train their stupid new ai. like i only know about this because one of my colleagues tipped me off. i imagine they're waiting to get it working before they formally let me go and fuck that. i am literally drafting my resignation lmao

[slowspinningredemption]

[slowspinningredemption]

guys. there has been an update. my spy colleague has informed me that my ex-boss is backtracking. the ai was supposed to speed things up because apparently i was unavailable too often but it turns out that another colleague has been lying about me telling him i was unavailable. i have email receipts proving this never happened.

this colleague also has beef with me because his documents were always garbage and i came back with a million corrections and called him out for mass copy-pasting. so he was just skipping the editing and saying i said i couldn't do it. and i lost my job because of it.

[slowspinningredemption]

ex-boss backtracked and ended up asking me if i'd come back not as a freelance contractor but on an actual employment basis.

[slowspinningredemption]

i declined.

[slowspinningredemption]

shoutout to all the people reblogging the version of this before my rejection letter. and especially shoutout to those people saying they're happy for me and that there's justice on this earth. i regret to inform you that my version of justice means choosing violence.

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[chaifootsteps]

#Please little bird

[meriwetherwrites]

I love that the modern-day tumblr post equivalent of chain emails only requires me to reblog a relatively pleasant image instead of forward an email to a bunch of my friends and family members to quell my raging anxiety.

[nightguardmod]

It’s a win win. I get a bit of hope, you get a cute birb photo

[the-haiku-bot]

It’s a win win. I

get a bit of hope, you get

a cute birb photo

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[homunculus-argument]

Random old finnish folklore I recall reading: The reason you have to close someone's eyes after they die, or cover their eyes with a cloth if you can't, is because the spirit of the newly passed is still in the body and even though it can't move the eyes anymore, it can still see. You must avoid making eye contact with the dead body, because the soul of the newly dead is scared to go alone, and is looking for someone to come with them. If you lock eyes with the corpse, you will be the next to die.

[audriuska12]

...So is the second corpse still hazardous, then, or are they fine since they have the first one for company?

[homunculus-argument]

I must confess I don't really know about the more exact details of the undead buddy system.

[cipheramnesia]

I bet if a mushroom could lap water out of your hand with a tongue that a gently drinking mushroom tongue on your hand would be the softest and gentlest thing.

[saint-batrick]

jesus christ, i experienced brief but severe grief over not actually being able to experience this.

[cipheramnesia]

I think it would feel like a lizard tongue but I've never had a lizard drink out of my hand either, and thus the whole thing remains conceptually elusive.

[hypercam2-mp4]

this put such a vivid image in my head i needed to make it real as soon as i got home

[cipheramnesia]

This makes me indescribably overjoyed.

[cipheramnesia]

This is the only post I've written while also being incredibly high.