Summary: Your somewhat boyish behavior always bothered many , especially now whole of Gusu Lan Clan was pissed with you . Sharing feelings with Lan Xichen is something that brought you quite close this days . Will love be enough to cover up all of your 'flaws' ?
Requested? : YES by rozesdanze and I'm apologizing again for this late upload .
WARNINGS: minor cursing, low self esteem , slight bullying nothing that may trigger you too much .
β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’
You always were a free spirited person , not caring much about what everyone gotta say and just minding your own business while offering a helping hand where it was needed .
It was your nature , something you couldn't change.
Sometimes people told you to be more "feminine " or "act like a girl of your age " your somewhat boyish behavior bothering them .
You didn't mind it at all .
You grew up with only male friends except for Jiang Yanli and that's why you have adopted this 'strange for a girl ' behavior .
Everything was fine until you entered The Gusu Lan Clan Sect's area in the Cloud Recesses.
Your not so much disciplined ways of living bothered Lan Qiren and the rest of the ladies , that were supposed to be studying there and not gossip around .
It firstly started as comments now and then " dress like a girl " " style your hair like a girl " " why are you not wearing your hairpins ?" And such .
You brushed off the first couple of weeks but when the whole student community started making fun of you , you couldn't take it any more .
Your pride was indeed hurt .
If Wei Wuxian wasn't there you would have left this hell of a place and return back in Yumeng Clan, your hometown.
He was supportive as always , reassuring you that everything was fine with you and that you didn't have to change yourself in order to be accepted by others .
Your own self is what makes you unique.
If someone doesn't likes your real self then they dont deserve being with you .
β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’
You passed through the hallways trying to get in class when a group of so-good-for-nothing girls blocked your way .
A short girl two years older than you spoke first with this high pitched voice that make you want to slap her straight in the face "oh y/n I pity you so much .. how will you be able to find a good match in the future with such a poor manner set ? Tsts" she chuckled making your eyes go wide at her rudeness.
"I'm sure I will have more possibilities to find one than you .. I may not have the good manners you are claiming to have yourself but at least i am not rude with people i know nothing about " you answer her back bowing your head and trying to move through them .
"Move !" You ordered one of her side chicks Ling the stupid one .
" Oh my goodness.. this is not a way a lady should talk to another y/n " another one of her bitches talked.
You glared at her trying to push Ling to the side.
" why are you even talking to her Feng ? She cant even walk in a proper way yet not even get dressed up as a lady of her status she is a waste of time .. better let her become a puppet of her stupid friend the Yiling Patriarch-- "
"If you ever curse on Wei Wuxian in front of me I ll make sure to shut your mouth with my fist ! He is not making puppets to your information he is just controlling the Yin iron with skills you wish you could have ! Now move out of my sight !" You tell them totally pissed of .. you grab your sword case trying to put some sense in them but they dont seem to mind
" Stupid bitch no one will ever love you in this way ! Every one will pity your for being an unmarried pathetic bitch! In the end even your own family will abandon you - oh I forgot you've got none! " She curses at you and you feel like something is twisted to your core .
2 thing are what you hate the most 1. having people pitying you or telling you that they do and 2. People talking about your family .
That's it , before giving it a second thought you uncover your cased sword harshly .
You move it to your untied hair grabbing a fistful of them before moving the blade on them.
" 1st of all you are not even in the place to think about my family lowly peasant! Do you think that no one in here knows about your relationship with an already married man? " you ask her and she widens her eyes .
"secondly this is for you ! I'm a woman of my status and none my hair , clothing or manners can prove it otherwise! At least I'm not someone's slut!" You close your eyes before moving the blade in one sift motion and cutting half of your hair's length shortening it to shoulder's length.
"Now fuck off and don't dare to look at my direction again emptyheaded bitch!" You scream at her throwing all the hair on her face before making your way back to your room .
β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’
3 hours have passed since the incident and no one has reached for you yet .
"Good" you thought, because reconsidering your action you've broken more that 6 of Gusu lan clan's rules and show disrespect to your rank status by cutting your hair .
Before realizing it you heard someone knocking on your door "shit" you cursed in your brain , moving to the doorframe and opening the door only to come face to face with the Clan-leader-to-be Lan Xichen.
You bowed your head , forcing a smile on as you rubbed your hands together to sooth your embarrassment, way too shy to look your 'crush' to the eyes .
"Greeetings Zewu Jun " you said moving aside and making room for him to enter .
"Lan Qiren asked me to bring you to him" he said the smile that always hugged his features non apparent anymore.
"Your uncle?" You asked wishing to get a 'no' as an answer..
"Unfortunately yes !" He said looking down the floor .
After putting on your cloaks , you both made your way out of your room and moved to Lan Qiren's residence.
After a really long chat with him you were free to go NOT REALLY .
He asked Xichen to take you himself to the library in order to make 1.500 copies of the latest book he bought this year.
You sighed again in the thought of the pain your arm will have after finishing this task , only to earn one of Xichen's concerned glances .
β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’
As soon as seating down to your used by many times spot , you grabbed the pen and deeped it into the new-cut ink .
5 hours passed since you first started copying books and despite having nothing actually to do xichen seemed rather occupied.
You gave him a questionable look as you leaned your head in your hands looking to his place .
"You knew that this was going to put you in trouble y/n , why doing such a thing just to prove them wrong?" You raised your head upon hearing this words leaving Xichen's mouth , not formality in them , just casual talking.
" they have been getting on my nerves for more than 2 months I couldn't bear it -" you tried to explain yourself but he interrupted you
" You could have just come to me right from the beginning!" He looked pissed and you sifted in you seat shivering from the tone in his voice .
This man surely had some nerve in him, being more than a head taller than you was something that from the very start make it clear that you could better not get in any trouble with him .
Seeing his genuine and kind nature made you loose down your walls , allowing your heart to form feelings for him and now you are here unable to form a single word without stuttering in between.
" Y/n ? Cant you see it ?" He asked and you gave him a confused face in defense .
" I - i do care about you y/n , watching the others making your life a living hell including my uncle drives me crazy ! I tried so many times to show you how i feel about you just to give you a shelter, a safe place but you are not getting it " he sighed to himself clearly frustrated.
He removed a strand of hair out of his face looking to your not so calm face that was by now painted in a really deep shade of read .
Being the lil tease he secretly is , he wanted to get you even more freaked out by little .
He looked into your eyes with this calm face of his while saying " I love you y/n " and then returning to his desk and grabbing back his pen .
" I love you too " you said loud enough to even have the bunnies hear too outside , the silence inside the room making an echo to your voice .
In quick realization you moved your palm to your mouth clapping it fast and shutting down the curses about your stupidity that were ready to spill out .
" What ?" He asked in a teasing tone lifting his body higher and then sitting up completely moving to your place until he was studying right in front of you hovering some heads above you and then repeating then same question calmly.
" How can a person be so calm in a situation like that ? " you screamed out loud mostly to yourself before reaching in front you and pinching the skin of his lower thigh .
You looked up to his face as he let out a high peached scream of pain "Lan Xichen you are driving me insane!"
You pinched him again with both hands now only to have him beg to be left in peace "Please y/n don't do this ! " he half laughed half screamed for the poor skin of his legs before reaching down and grabbing both your wrists once you didn't stop after his begs.
You squirmed in his grip before he moved both wrists to his lips , kissing the skin there and putting them back down the surface of your desk .
Your mouth was hanging open , such a big skin contact all of sudden leaving you shooked.
" I have done 14 copies of the book you are copying.. I'm taking a break for now but I'm returning back in 15 minutes straight! You continue your work little girl " he said before blinking his eye to you and moving out of the library .
"Excuse me ?! " you screamed as loud as you could looking both to your wrists and his distant form .
"This man is gonna drive me crazy sooner than I thought " you told yourself before returning to your work .
β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’β’---------β’---------β’
It's been 4 days since you started dealing with your punishment and you already have 276 copies ready to go but way more many on the way .
Today is a special day for Gusu lan Clan and it's students so it's the perfect opportunity for you to take a break tonight.
Gusu Lan Clan's biggest has come and you are now getting ready to attention the lantern festival with Wei Wuxian been apart for so many days making you miss him to death .
A sudden knock on the door made you jump on your spot .
Waiting for Wuxian you opened without asking for the person outside.
To your huge surprise there was not Wei Wuxian but Lan Xichen .
" I'm allowed to go in the festival today ! I asked your uncle this morning! You cannot keep me here- " you rushed to say to afraid of loosing your only chance out .
" I'm here to take you out myself so that you can return to the library straight after the ceremony finishes , my uncle has no intention searching for you so he sent me to make sure that there will be no way for you to sneak out " he said calmly giving you a teasing smile .
You looked around searching for Wei Wuxian but there you found him next to Lan Wangji holding a paper lantern together.
You giggled at the view of Wuxian's flashed cheeks when his hand touched Wangji's accidentally.
The moment when all of the lighting lanterns had to fly to the sky arrived so you moved to catch the one in front of you but regretted it at the sight of Xichen doing the same .
You felt shy at your silly mistake don't understanding that the lantern wasn't for you but for him and you bowed in discomfort cursing to yourself for making you look even more stupid to him .. your fucking crush .
" I think this is for the both of us y/n " he told you taking your hands in his making you catch some part of the paper .
" Every one can make a wish as their lantern will make their way up ! I'm sure that each and every wish of yours will be fulfilled in the near future and luck will always saw a good face to you and your loved ones ! This year was one of educational progress, health and wisdom. I hope that all of you will follow the path we Gusu Lan Clan taught you about , a path of righteousness, fairness and virtue. Now I'll count up to 5 so all of you will have to prepare your lanterns! " Lan Qiren announced making you look around for some fire to put in the light .
"Two" the lantern was ready to go so you thought about making a wish
" I wish y/n would give me a chance to prove my sincere feelings for her while living and following the path of the good , avoiding the sinful road and having zero regrets. " the man next to you whispered mostly to himself with closed eyes as he hold onto your lantern tightly.
Your eyes blinked twice the having the man you wish to call yours one day admitting his feelings again .
" I wish I'll become a woman of my status so I can let myself be loved by the man I love without minding if I'll ruin his reputation with my inappropriate image " you whispered to both to him and to yourself, admitting how you really felt with this complicated situation .
You didn't want to change yourself, no not at all, but you just hopped the time could change you into what you could call ideal woman , wife , without feeling much pain in the progress.
It was true , him loving you would ruin his and the Gusu Lan Clan's reputation .
The future Clan Leader having feelings for a punk?
Without a family and depending only on Yumeng Sect and her uncle ?
Sometimes you wished you were different, somewhat like your cousin Yanli but no , in the end you wouldn't be you , you would be someone fake .
You would be someone even more miserable.
You are clearly confused by now .
Shall I change and become what the world around me wants to or be myself and let them talk shit without minding a bit ?
The 1st one is the easy way , but the 2nd one is what will make you struggle but be you at the very last .
"Three " Lan Qiren spoke as you tried to regain your composure and focus .
"Four " all of the disciplines lifted their lanterns up readying them once more .
"Y/n would you like to be the person I call home from now on ?" Xichen asked you .
" Yes you can ! If there is love in between everything can be worked out !" He cut you
" Is there any love from your side y/n ?" He asked you and you didn't want a second more to know the answer
" See ? There is no reason you can't let me love you , call you mine , make you the person I want to return after the storm . I want to be the person you need , you love , I want to be your everything, would you allow me to do that ? "
" Don't you mind I'm who I am ? "
"Five! Let them go and fly high " Lan Qiren called and you did as you were told
"No , I don't . I love you for who you really are y/n not for who I want you to be " Xichen said making you look down the floor to afraid to be loved but at the same time loose who you really love .
"I really like you , no I can say that I love you , everything you do . And all I want is to protect and take you home with me .
Will you come and live in Gusu with me ?
I wanna be with you forever and even though it's really early to say would you like to marry me one day ?
I'm sure that even though you are not my uncle's favorite person out there he will accept the fact that we want to be together.
We can call your uncle to come and set a marriage for us in the years to follow .
I will give you as much time as you feel like taking but I want to make my feelings clear to you from the very beginning.
Would you like to marry me and be the next Gusu Lan Clan's Leader wife ? " he asked always to rushed as his cheeks took a red color painting his pale skin .
"Yes I would love to ! Even if i could marry every man on earth you would be my one and only choice in every lifetime and every dimension I could live , I would choose you again"
You answer him with a little smile in the end as both of you hugged gaining glares from all the people around you .
" Does this mean that we are official?" He asked
"I guess so " you told his hiding you face in his strong torso .
" FELLOW HUMANS IM GETTING MARRIED TO MY BELOVED Y/N I WISH YOU ALL CAN MAKE IT TO OUR MARRIAGE IN THE NEAR FUTURE !" He screamed making you punch him lightly in his lower abdomen as he fake screamed in pain .
" That means that we will be siblings by law y/n?" Wuxian asked while jumping his way to your derection happily
" What do you mean A-Xian?" You asked confused .
" We are getting married too brother !" Lan Wangji said as both yours and Xichen's jaw dropped open .
" Congratulations!" Both of you screamed out loud as you went hugging them .
The four of you hugged while jumping together but then there he came Jiang Cheng.
" That means I'm the only single bird rn? Thanks guys thanks!" He said while glaring at you four .
" No you are not sweetheart!" Nie Huaisang appeared giving Cheng a misiviews smile before hiding his now flashed cheeks behind his fan .
" BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME THAT I'M THAT DESPERATE! I BETTER BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY WEN QING AGAIN RATHER THAN DATING YOU ! " Jiang Cheng screamed in Huiesung's face before storming away in order to search for his short tempered other half Wen Qing .
" There we go again " Wuxian said
" Yes there we go again " you added and the four of you started laughing until tears formed in your eyes and too little oxygen was making it's way into your lungs.
This is the best feeling.
Be with people that you love and love you ,
Without loosing faith in you ,
Without wanting to make you someone else ,
Without wanting to control you
People that love you unconditionally.
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Please follow & like for more content!
Be yourself + love yourself.
