Tuulen vaara on olemassa, nukun

Olen nortti, @JuEeHa twitterissä. Pyydä vapaasti käännöksiä postauksille / Feel free to ask for translations for posts Jos on pakko tietää, niin en ole alaikäinen / If you must know, I am not under-age

[technofinch]

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

[technofinch]

#reminds me of playing violence disc in school

Well now what is violence disc.

[arg0t]

we would look for people playing frisbee, wait for them to miss catching it, then all five or six of us would tackle the fallen frisbee for possession.

as soon as you get your hands on it you throw it as hard as possible as quickly as possible, likely colliding with the other tacklers, where it is thrown again and again until it escapes the huddle and is recovered by the frisbee’s true owner

[technofinch]

Yeah that would be violence disc alright

[sepublic]

I do think it’s interesting how the novel Dracula is meant to be a modern setting from its perspective. It’s very much that genre of story about an ancient fantasy archetype finding itself in a modern setting, complete with the rules-lawyering that often comes with modern parodies (that isn’t to say the stories of Olde didn’t have fun with loopholes either though).

Except Dracula is a story that plays itself straight. The vampire himself is not stupid. He’s possibly the oldest vampire of all which means he upgraded from animal instinct and mindless echoes of past memories to someone who’s regained his critical thinking skills. The story begins because he’s already adapted to how the modern world works now by hiring a solicitor who understands modern laws.

He knows now that he doesn’t have to march into London with an army like he used to; He can just buy property and the laws of London are forced to respect that. Similarly he’s already experimented in and discovered loopholes to vampire rules and limitations; Vampires are bound by the permission of owners so he simply uses his solicitor to buy and own a bunch of properties. If he needs to be invited in, Dracula hypnotizes someone to let him in.

Vampires need to return to their grave every dusk/dawn (whichever comes sooner), which causes their coffin to act as an anchor that limits how far from it they can travel? Dracula simply rations the earth of his grave into fifty coffins and spreads them across London so his range becomes exponentially larger.

All of these things make the story almost come across as a deconstruction and it might just be! It’s just that Dracula the novel became such a trendsetter that people nowadays see it as playing things fully straight. It almost feels as if the novel is written with the idea that readers have a basic understanding of vampires and their rules, so part of the thrill comes in the revelation of how the titular vampire is working around these rules. Likewise I’ve heard it used to be a trope in English literature for a traveler to visit some foreign land with a monster and escape by going home. But here the foreign aspect of the story is just the first (and final) arc; The monster’s plan hinges on coming to the UK itself!

So yeah. Dracula isn’t stupid and he reflects the idea that people of the past had just as common sense as the rest of us, they just had access to less/inaccurate knowledge and things worked differently back then. Dracula would be like… That bit of someone showing a medieval peasant a meme as they comprehend it perfectly and aren’t even wowed by the Doritos. If Dracula was set in the 21st century he’d probably understand social media well enough to become an influencer if he wanted to, though the issue of being invisible in cameras wouldn’t help.

[dreamingnemleria]

[elbiotipo]

remember when I made that post that basically said "don't forget about a southern hemisphere when worldbuilding" and a lot of people said "ahhh but what if my fantasy world is flat or shaped like a kia sorento? checkmate I Write What I Want" and then you go and find out that people actually forget that the southern hemisphere exists in real life, like right now here in earth

[elbiotipo]

my worldbuilding posts have two key components:

here's a thing you should think about to make your world more believable and cohesive :) it could really enhance your plot and characters and it's also fun to think about it, when you know how the real world works you can make more vivid fantasy worlds!

and you also should think about it so you think about something else that isn't your own fucking hemisphere pedazo de gringo imperialista

[corn-pit]

So half of the fantasy planet needs to be experiencing summer when its winter in the north? Is that the endpoint of this post? An episode of the magic schoolbus?

[elbiotipo]

I don't know what to tell you. Read the post again.

[headbenzhawk]

[nevershootamockingbird]

[ Begin ID: Screenshot of tags that read "#these bitches don't know how to read and they wanna write ???? #madre mía" / End ID ]

[256x224-deactivated20240130]

I go outside regularly

[antlershade]

no you don't

[256x224-deactivated20240130]

okay fine I go outside weirdly

[vickie21579]

縛り

[slytherverse]

love love love when the mechanic inevitably calls me a day after i drop the hearse off to get fixed, talking in the same cadence as a applebees waitress who is required to pitch you stuff we both know you wont order. "Hey we noticed the door doesnt open from the inside, the hood wont stay open, the lack of horn, the gauge, the lack of a/c, the the. do you want us to... fix Problems? no? ok. also while investigating the thing you actually came in for it somehow fixed itself and we dont know how."

[slytherverse]

last time i took her in i checked their notes and the car was listed as ""multicolored""

[slytherverse]

this time i spent 10 minutes in the parking lot of the mechanic prior to dropping off the keys tightening the screws on the three foot long pink radio antenna so it didnt flop around, and other such mild cosmetic repairs. right there in the parking lot so they wouldnt laugh at my beloved hellbeast. it probably didnt work.

[slytherverse]

id like to hope this is enriching for them after a long day of working on cars made in 2023 who need oil changes and new wiper blades. but in reality they have to hold the hood open themselves and stare at the giant PUSSY WAGON tag on the underside while trying to figure out why this clown car magically fixed itself before their eyes. so. prolly not

[slytherverse]

entire back of this absolute pinnacle of vehicles is covered in "bumper stickers" which are all drawn on in marker. spray paint abounds on the exterior. one time a girl left her phone number on my windshield because "i also have autism". if you turn on the defrosters it fogs all radio signal. no airco in 100 degree climate. theres a cb radio to talk about drugs with truckers while cruising on I-20. the steering column is held together with a single ziptie. i bought it from a funeral home and it came with casket wrenches. i would fuck this car if it could consent and the two of us will never die

[slytherverse]

it happened again you guys i picked him back up and the head mech handed me the keys and just said "i love my chemical romance" . and then the engine overheated on the way home because they managed to fuck up their ONE JOB

[slytherverse]

this was a few years ago before i painted the roof and trunk but this is me coming home drunk very excited to see my babygirl

theres so many pictures like this it happens at least once a month

[slytherverse]

some shitass stole one of my hubcaps last night.... FOR WHY?? its a grand marquis thats my age its not a fucking benz . heres the thing they also loosened a tire and fucked up my suspension so i think they were actually trying to steal a tire and couldnt figure it out and gave up . two factor authentication (you have to punch it a little)

[slytherverse]

in seven years of ownership ive never changed the brake pads. it takes forever to brake. but last year i took it to Brake Store and they said "no actually your brakes are fine they dont need new pads and nothing is wrong" and i said "no offense but I Do Not Believe You"

[slytherverse]

@vakavanhasaatana

OF COURSE!!!!!!!

this is my babygirl, my daily driver, loyal steed, the wind beneath my wings, Spencer (she/he, 200,000 miles, once-totaled salvage title former mortuary fleet car). later i shall post the front and interior

[c3rvida3]

I just learned that a lot of vintage perfumes and fragrances were intentionally created to blend well with the ever-present smell of cigarettes, and in specific a lot of iconic ones that are super musky and floral and civet-heavy were intended to compliment the smell of fur coats or even "refresh" that new fur coat smell, which is one of the reasons (besides just shifting preferences and trends) that a lot of them smell really, really bad to modern noses.

I bet there's some stunning genius diva out there right now who meticulously coordinates her Victoria's Secret body mists with her vape flavors.

[transxfiles]

[rexuality]

i have a story for you, tumblr. last year my coworkers and I were riding in a golf cart at a music festival passing out drinks to people, because the festival had been cancelled that day and everyone was trying to make the best of a bad situation. after some time we spot a guy on the other side of the road dressed as lord farquaad, walking alone. we yell, “LORD FARQUAAD! DO YOU WANT A DRINK??” dude yells an affirmative, walks into the road without looking, gets hit by a fucking car, and goes flying.

I really need you to picture a lord farquaad being dummy yeeted into the air by an incoming vehicle while a golf cart of inebriated, glitter and mud plastered coworkers are full-on horror movie screaming together. before we can even process this, lord farquaad gets up like 🤪 how bout that drink?? completely okay, utterly unphased, red hat and bob wig still locked the fuck in. we check on him several times, all talking over each other, and while he’s calmly and pleasantly assuring us he’s fine, he passes each one of us a tiny jesus figurine. he bestows a “god bless you all” and then resumes his jaunt, drink in hand.

after that we drove in total relieved hysterics, the kinda laughter that only happens when you narrowly avoided catastrophe. and i have NO idea if the driver that hit him even said a word because my entire consciousness in that moment was farquaad, there was only farquaad. I hope that he reads this one day and knows that he is STILL talked about and regarded as some sort of festival cryptid. we are blessed indeed

[dankxsinatra]

[meadowdough]

Madoka Magica // sealed 💧

[syncarida]

Also I have to spread this beautiful kakapo image (by Andrew Digby) I saw this evening on bluesky... her baby lint... protecting my mould spore...

[upsettingandunfortunateclasshate]

My son's tattoo hurt me deeply

When Tess Morgan's son came home with a tattoo, she was griefstricken. She knew her reaction was OTT (he's 21) but it signalled a change in their relationship

This is gold this, absolute gold, the most over the top melodramatic hysterical ridiculous thing I’ve ever read

[brawlcloud]

This is actually so interesting to read- it’s from 2012 but its full of the same anxieties, even some of the same phrasing that many of the guardian’s later pieces on transness use. really hammers home how much of the terfism that emerged in the late 10s was middle class mothers angry at a loss of control over their adult children- whether that be their bodies or their friends or their opinions- and making that everyone’s problem because they have the power to do so

[ineffectualdemon]

That’s interesting to think about considering that when I got my tattoo my mom cried and said I would understand “when you saw your babys perfect unblemished skin for the first time”

Which I knew was creepy then but is way creepier in hindsight

Anyway she also awful with me and my older sibling being trans and more than that, with us being queer in general, because how we are queer doesn’t benefit her

My mother very much felt owed our lives as something she could mould to her liking and that included our bodies

[minervablues-dairies]

“you never leave the house”

Well, you see the beauty of the house is immeasurable and its kindness infinite.

[raisinchallah]

when your erotica ends with a bibliography of works cited

[rebrandedbard-main]

@a-kind-of-merry-war

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

Guilty as charged 😔

[valtsv]

I love your "they ring the same bells for weddings and funerals" tag bc I work as a bell-ringer at one of the few churches in my city where you still have to ring the bell manually. and we do ring the same bell whether it's a wedding or a funeral! but ☝️ we also ring it if the local sports team wins at sports (the secret third thing that is neither a wedding nor a funeral)

the three universal human experiences: love, death, and sports

[short-for-melancholy]

[willgrahamscock]

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

[the44th]

I also reblog this guys dead wife.