Gather âround kids: I had a coworker mention to me this morning that itâs impossible to get grease stains out of fabric. As a former chemistry minor who worked two years under the table doing housekeeping and who generally tends to be a fucking disaster, I am here to tell everyone that it absolutely is not impossible, in case this is a widespread belief. Here are a few of my favorite cleaning stain removers that I always have at home.
Iâm a generic kinda lady. I hate promoting brands 99% of the time. BUT if you catch absolutely any kind of stain before it gets ground in, you can get most of it out with one of these babies. Iâve tested it on blood, chocolate, coffee, guacamole, pizza sauce, red wine on, on that one time i accidentally slopped some oil I was supposed to be using on antiques onto a fancy rug (also an antique but not the one I was gunning for). If youâre washing something delicate, pump it onto your finger a couple of times and gently rub it in. Iâm not sure what they put in these things but Iâm pretty sure itâs an arcane secret.
Granted, this is a little trickier for upholstery/carpet, but it can still be done using a rag, some water, and some patience. But for clothing, just pour some soap on the stain and rub it in under cold running water.
Absolutely any clear alcohol is your new best friend
You know the old âwhite wine to clean redâ trick? Well, this is its updated sister I like to call âyou, too, can use coconut rum to get red jello shot out of your nice white dressâ. Itâs a nice party trick. Straight vodka works even better. For every day situations involving any kind of alcohol-related spills (including markers)âand especially work situationsârubbing alcohol is ideal. To quote another adage, this one from every chemistry teacher you will ever meet, âlike dissolves like.â
It can get blood out of absolutely anything, including your mattress. It reacts with the iron in hemoglobin, which breaks down the molecule, causing it to lose its red color. So make sure youâre not using a cast iron skillet to wash your period underwear in.
This will dissolve lime buildup overnight. Fill a bag, tie it around your showerhead, and presto. You can also use it to scrub the area around your sink and to break up any buildup in pipes. (Limeawayâą is for rich people.)Â
This is great if you have a pet or child who peed on the carpet. Just cover the area, wait until it dries, and vacuum it up. The longer you leave it, the better it will do at removing the smell. Itâs also good removing mild odors from a small space, like a fridge or a laundry hamper.Â
This is your heavy duty odor killer. A little goes a long way. In chemistry, activated charcoal is used as a purifier in reactions, and in medicine, it can be used to treat mild poisoning/overdoses. In your car that smells like someone died because you forgot you had potatoes in the trunk for six months? All you need are regular old charcoal briquettes. Stick a couple handfuls in a flat box and the smell will be gone overnight. Guaranteed. For larger areas, just use more charcoal.
