everything hurts.
RMH
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Keni
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Janaina Medeiros
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JVL
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@borderline-captain-marvel
everything hurts.
the threads Iām hanging by. I think this is the first time in my life Iāve ever been afraid to die.
Iām donāt know who is in the mirror today but I donāt know them.
I didnāt mean to be manipulative.
I was afraid to ask for help.
I just said this! I feel so validated and tingly.
When people say things like, āYouāve made it through so much, youāll get through thisāyouāre stronger than you think,ā I know they mean it, I know theyāre just trying to be encouraging and supportive. I donāt fault them for saying those things.
But inside I want to cry and fall into them so they can see that Iām not strong, Iām battered and bruised and Iām hanging by a thread.
Please help me.
All the āso muchā you think Iāve made it through...I havenāt. Every moment is right here, like it happened yesterday. But I donāt want to let you down, I canāt lose another person I care about, not again.
So Iām just going to smile and nod.
I feel everything and nothing today. Iām paralyzed and frantic.
I
canāt
be
today.
All I want to do is drag a razor back and forth across my chest.
Itās like a pirate had a baby with an angel.
AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR 2018 | dir. Anthony & Joe Russo
āItās like a pirate had a baby with an angel,ā
is quite simply, the most awesome quote in the Marvel Universe.
Iām never gonna do it
Iām probably the only one, but I think this is FUCKING BRILLIANT!
I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
And I bet you need more than you mind
And I think you're so mean
I think we should try
I think I could need this in my life
I think I'm just scared that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling
It wasnāt romantic, you know? It wasnāt like that. It was beyond that. It was just like splaying yourself, because thatās what they asked you to do, let them come in and touch and see everything, then have them leave you wide open on the table and leave without a word
Sometimes when Iām feeling extra bad, which is pretty much always, I tell myself, āYOU are doing a spectacular job of being a borderline personality!!! You are SO FUCKED in every way. You are a researchers wet dream! Your āA day in the life of someone with BPDā-article would win the Pulitzer! Your picture should go in the Wikipedia article! Great job!!!ā
Letās see:
Borderline Personality Disorder (which I kind of think āumbrellasā everything else)
Dysthymia
ADHD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Know what I was being treated for this time last year?
Major Depressive Disorder
Bipolar 2
ADHD
There are not nearly enough Wolverine memes.
MY kind of Self-Talk.
I donāt think Iām on the Deanās List right now. I am trying though, not to sabotage another relationship.
Not now obviously, but when things go back to normal, definitely yes.