Americana Exotica

Hello there! I’m Matty: your local internet funnyman, horrid necromancer, and metaphysical stunt double. They/Them pronouns. I am over 18, so if you don't feel comfortable with me following you please let me know - I’ll unfollow!

[auckie]

[communist-hatsunemiku]

[virtualgirladvance]

You are a bug in bug hell but your spider torturer so fucking bad at their job that the devil himself has to grab you with his gay pitchfork and help them

[kira-kui-n]

"get him pregnant" well thats not my thing but to each their own

"get her pregnant" *takes up my sword and shield* i wont let you do that to her. ......................

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[saph-y]

For Whom The Bells Toll

(+ the boys at Trosky)

[leslekieuart]

Just a girl and her toys

[peachdelta]

the phrase "fujoshi ramona flowers" entered my brain suddenly and i cant stop laughing at it

[peachdelta]

[paper-mario-wiki]

transitioning is like putting on the They Live glasses and seeing that 90% of people looking at you are either jerking off or furiously sharpening a knife. or both. and i do not mean that in a sexy or fun way, and i dont like clarifying that, but i know there's a 90% chance you are thinking it, because i wrote it while being a trans woman.

[paper-mario-wiki]

to clarify:

when considering the sexual violence against trans women, it's important to remember that "people only view us sexually" does not mean the same thing as "people only find us attractive". it means "people can only conceptualize of our existence within a sexual light" because that's how the majority of our coverage in media has been tinged in the past century. as a result of the chaste and patriarchal nature of modern capitalism, gender and sexuality are inseparable in much public discourse by virtue of propaganda, and as a result, a trans woman is seen as sexual because efforts towards projecting specifically femininity is only categorized as sexual. and when paired with the uncharitable perception of "man", that propaganda can often evolve how people view us directly into "sexual threat" anywhere, for any reason. i could be in the freezer aisle of costco looking down at the ground while i push my cart and i'd still get dirty looks for wearing a dress (this has happened).

when i say "they're either jerking off or sharpening a knife", i mean we're either viewed sexually, or as sexually threatening, in almost all scenarios.

[NOTE: AS WITH ALL MATTERS OF TRANSMISOGYNY, THIS ISSUE IS 100 TIMES WORSE FOR BLACK GIRLS]

[footlongdingledong]

dip shit you are not turning into the joker. you are barely even turning into the penguin or th e ice guy

[highdensityrabbitsituation]

Actually finished binding this like a month ago but only just now got around to taking a nice photo (which was promptly crunched into oblivion by tumblr, oh well). Machine pieced, hand-quilted, machine-bound. Letters are from All Well Workshop's Patchwork Alphabet though, if I may take a moment to brag, I designed the apostrophe myself

[potatocrisp]

Don’t make me regret this

[bulbabutt]

i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please

NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious

[brightlotusmoon]

[ekjohnston]

The closing stinger is ART.

[shounen-super]

[cloudabserk]

anything for my princess 🩵

[cloudabserk]

communist zohran forcing us to roast alive at 172F

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[hellobuddybradley]

RIP Sam Neill (1947-2026)

[monchursouls]

🌾🌾🌾

Harvesting my wheat

[rat-in-the-grain]

Hehehehehe

[monchursouls]

Can I fucking help you?

[sasuke-offical]

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

[monchursouls]

What

[rat-in-the-grain]

What

[endofalltim]

[i-survived-that]

ID: A youtube comment with 11 likes by Niceone, it says "I've lived 46 years without knowing this. How nice of life to save some of the best bites for later." End ID.

Normally, people tend to get frustrated, even jokingly, if they miss out on something. This comment was on a song from 1974 and it made me smile quite much. Simply appreciative. Like a dessert after dinner.