fucks your mom

@clown-weed

26. hobby hoarder. part time clown.

17.8K posts

great

this looks helpful at least

digitaldiscipline

Emily Wison, whose translation formed the basis for Nolan's version of The Odyssey, is brutal and unrelenting in her review of it.

As they say at the awards shows, I was humbled to learn that Christopher Nolan has read at least the first line of my...

All the food looks horrible!

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

beemovieerotica

please vote for tylenol to have her face on a beer can $1 for 1 vote and the donation goes to the baltimore animal rescue and care shelter

TYLENOL HAS MADE IT INTO THE TOP TEN LETS FUCKING GO

beemovieerotica

VOTE NOW SO WE CAN SEE TYLENOL'S FACE ON BEER CANS IN THE DITCHES BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!

If you all will allow me a moment to analyze the competition as it exists, there's something interesting going on with the numbers.

As we all know, thanks to the support of the good people of Tumblr, Tylenol has experienced a meteoric rise to second place. Even though her competition is stiff, I believe in Tylenol's ability to go the distance.

But let's take a look at the competition:

Elmer seems to be a lovely boy. I have no qualms with Elmer, and think he would look fantastic on a beer can. But what about Elmer's campaigns? Who is the power behind the throne here, and how have they managed to find such breakout success on this competition?

A handful of wealthy donors are trying to buy this competition.

At the end of the day, all donations are good donations here. This is a charity event so every penny earned is going to help animals in need. But it's not lost on me that Elmer's current ranking is thanks entirely to a few individuals with the financial means to put their thumbs on the scale.

Tylenol's donors, comparatively, are small and numerous, mostly $1-10 donations from many passionate believers in what she stands for (autism and pain relief I think).

Overall, the donations tell a very different story than what the base ranking shows you. Elmer is held aloft by just 24 donors and bolstered by a few wealthy patrons, whereas Tylenol has won the hearts of literally hundreds of people. Even the current third place, Abby, owes her ranking to numerous small contributions rather than one or two large ones.

Tylenol is the people's princess.

beemovieerotica

Tylenol is the people's princess

Good news!

garbage-empress

Tylenol is real! I love you Tylenol!

A vote for Tylenol is a vote for the people

slyandthefamilybook

why did they start breeding busses to have flat faces. they can't breathe

slyandthefamilybook

if you think this

looks better than this

you're part of the problem. I'm so tired of all the excuses like "oh they look cuter!" "why do you care?" THEY CAN'T BREATHE. People intentionally breeding these vehicles to give them health problems because they "like how it looks" makes me so mad

the-starlight-papers

Actually, flat faced buses can breathe fine! This is a case of convergent evolution, but the two types of buses are not genetically related.

Pointed nose buses are decended from trucks, and have their engines located in the front. This requires the larger nose in order to provide the space for the engine as well as adequate ventilation.

Meanwhile, flat nosed buses are actually descended from city buses (which in turn descend from trolleys), and were domesticated due to their greater maneuverability and capacity.

Contrary to popular belief, flat nosed busses typically do not experience breathing problems. Their engines are located in the back of the bus, with a large breathing vent located in the rear.

These buses also have a different structure to accommodate this change, typically including doubled back tires, a different weight distribution, and a change in location of the emergency egress door from the back to the left side.

I think about this often and I'm always so charmed by it.

I just wanna be the very unfunny autistic person saying that the flat face change was made to create much less flattened children on our roads. The driver can’t see their tiny selves as easily over that big ass bus nose. Not that anyone was asking for the real reason we bred our buses like we did our pugs.

i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave”

at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said “isn’t this just the most beautiful rubens you’ve ever seen outside of a museum?” (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said “where on earth did you get it from?” and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like “inheritance” can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy you’ve brought in just to nod if it’s the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B4Zm-Aa74Y&t=2613s

drek-odradek-deactivated2022031

omg BLESS YOU for the link and the time stamp that was as glorious as described by the OP

bythestardoggedmoon

Y’all failed to mention that HE posted the video HIMSELF and liked every single comment oh my god

Ok but if you keep watching, the FBI agent asks the professor how sure he is that the painting was the real deal and the professors says “I have two sons. I often wonder where they really came from. I don’t wonder where this painting comes from.”

going to start a "good plants for people with ADHD" masterpost based on what's survived me

i kept a spider plant alive for all four years of college which is remarkable because i barely kept me alive for all four years of college. highly recommend. not toxic to cats but may be hallucinogenic for them so that's hilarious. they grow little babies and it's cute. comes in a curly variety

both mini monsteras (monstera adansonii and raphidophora tetrasperma) are fabulous. mine grow like weeds

honestly their daddy is pretty robust too (monstera deliciosa)

pothos (epipremnum aureum). your mileage may vary on this one because i do inevitably murder them but they are supposed to be easy and they tend to droop when they need watering (helpful visual reminder). they come in a lot of fun varieties

heart leaf philodendron is really similar to a pothos but ime harder to kill

fittonia (nerve plant) is colorful and also tends to dramatically flop to the ground when it's been underwatered (but recovers quickly once you remember to water it). honestly i routinely forget about my mostly-fittonia barbie dream terrarium and it's thriving

ponytail palms. i toss mine outside in the spring/summer and after that it's happy for the rest of the year. cat friendly i think

syngoniums come in a crazy number of varieties in all kinds of colors and sizes, they're low light, and they're not fussy. this is the other resident of the barbie dream terrarium that i forget about all the time

aglaonemas are maybe a little higher maintenance than the others, but they're pretty and they can hang in there for quite a while. i had one for years that was very happy in my cubicle with no window

snake plants (sansevierias) are basically plastic plants but alive. i was shocked recently to learn that one of mine had grown babies because they basically do nothing (and need nothing) most of the time

ZZ plants are probably the ultimate ADHD plant. i forgot one in my antique booth for six months with no sunlight and never watered it and it's still happy as a clam. they come in a cute little mini variety called zenzi and a goth variety too

good luck and try not to kill them

#plants #i need them that doesnt need much light too because my apartment faces the north #and i live in sweden so half the year it's like .... yeaaaah not a lot of daylight #will research more

tbh i would consider most of these plants relatively low light plants! variegated varieties (the ones with lighter and darker patches) will struggle more but yeah. snake plants and ZZ plants would be my top picks for you probably

you might also want to look into grow lights! some of them are pretty cute and they can come with automatic timers

hope this helps!

#plants #i need some plants so bad!!! i definitely worry about my cat getting into them though #so maybe some of them hanging plants 👀

none of the plants on this list are super dangerous to cats (like lilies or sago palms – i would never bring those into a house with cats)

that being said, these three are completely non-toxic per the ASPCA Poison Control:

Spider Plant

FIttonia

Ponytail Palm

the rest of the plants may cause nausea/vomiting/diarrhea (snake plants specifically) or oral irritation/difficulty swallowing/vomiting (the rest of them).

i've kept all of these plants in a home with a cat, but not one who's very determined to eat plants. so it might be worth starting with those three and seeing how it goes

a couple of other cat-friendly, easy-to-care-for plants that didn't make the list for no real reason:

Peperomia obtusifolia (baby rubber plant)

Pilea peperomioides

i've kept both and an confirm they're pretty hardy. my Pilea is one of my longest standing plants at this point despite some hardcore neglect

anyway hope this helps and say hi to your cat for me

traumasurvivors

Even if I didn’t have a solid plan, in the back of my head, I always assumed I’d kill myself.

Now I’m an adult and people my age have their lives in order and I’m stuck here, confused, because I never planned to be alive and I’m so far behind.

I feel like I’ll never catch up.

traumasurvivors

Hey all.

I want to make an addition to this. I made this post a long time ago.

I’m currently back in university, and I’ve made so much progress with my trauma. I’m in a loving relationship.

Things can and will get better. It’s not too late.

Nothing is perfect by any means. But I’m happy I’m still here and didn’t kill myself. I hope you get to that point, too 💕

traumasurvivors

The addition is important! I see the original post circulating a lot, but the addition is important!

traumasurvivors

New addition two years later. I’m still going strong!

I’m getting married. I’m still in that loving relationship.

I’ve learned that there’s no real timeline. It’s okay. And while it sucks that I lost time, there’s still so much for me to experience and enjoy.

traumasurvivors

Newest addition. 7 years after the original post!

I got married last month! My dog is laying on me snoring. I’ve learned to have healthy friendships and relationships. I’ve learned that I’m not alone and that even when things are hard, I’m going to be okay.

traumasurvivors

This showed up in my notes again. And here we are. 2026.

I’ve been married a little over two years. I just got home from friendships that feel like home and family. My husband and I have our own place. I have a full ass book ready to be published.

I don’t know. I’m still in a good place and I can’t believe how far I’ve come from my original post.

so hiccups are a human thing right?

I think abt this tiktok all the time

thesadcyborg9million

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

HUH?

Most cop thing I've ever read. what the fuck are you talking about. The posts you're looking for might be on this website but we won't show them to you???

I'm sure all my settings are set to "yes show me mature content no don't filter anything" what are you TALKING ABOUT

the posts are ON THE WEBSITE. I can't search dirty words?? am I five??? is this club penguin??? when I get you

What the hell

What is going on

error-404-fuck-not-found

just so you know, if you completely ignore the search feature on the website and just type "tumblr.com/search/term" into the address bar, it bypasses all of this. broken-ass website

Gold, Silver, and Bronze!🥇🥈🥉

Now as sisters and with a complex sibling dynamic.

“ok lets do warm up sketch”

“oh..”

happy ending

topgunvolleyballscene

how often are you getting a headache

daily

weekly

monthly

couple times a year

yearly or less

Voting ended onJul 23

topgunvolleyballscene

how often are you getting a tummy ache

daily

weekly

monthly

every couple months

yearly or less

Voting ended onJul 23

topgunvolleyballscene

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

I stand by my claim that tumblr users are on average more curious and intellectually playful than users on pretty much any other major website. I've thought this a lot with regards to how many of the popular memes on here are history, science, or philosophy themed, in a way that doesn't just strike me as surface level repetition of a factoid (cf. reddit), but actually represents more thoughtful engagement with an idea. Thinking about all the really clever ways that "this is not a place of honor" has been used and reworked, or the Ea-nasir jokes, or even something as simple as those "juice reward" memes. And the boyfriend memes! Those have mass appeal here, and they're all shit like "yeah we shifted your boyfriend down an octave", "yeah we mythologized your boyfriend", "yeah we compressed your boyfriend into a .zip file". You know, like... for all that's been made of the tumblr userbase's susceptibility to convincingly-worded falsehoods, people here really do seem willing to contemplate things a little harder than people on reddit or twitter do. As someone who spends time on a number of different social media sites, the difference is pretty stark.

And I'm just thinking about this in light of the fact that, as soon as polls are introduced, everyone immediately starts using them to do game theory. Like, not even the usual suspects here, just random tumblr users! And I don't think this is because they know game theory and are doing it intentionally, I think it's because a lot of people here just have that sort of playful, tricksterly intellectual impulse. It's wonderful.

Exactly this. Also, some of the wordplay that you find here is so refreshing and fun. Top tier.

And that people are so willing to collaborate, rather the oneupmanship you find elsewhere.

In other platforms, people are somehow out for some kind of win. Here, it's more about enjoying the collaborative process. I love that.

they make me sick

*fucks your mom* @clown-weed - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag