22. What is gender? I’m tentatively female with pronouns she/they which change based on the hour it seems. Lots of fandoms (pjo, MDZS, 1d, 5sos, bnha, batfam, plus)
Jamie glances at Roy on the bike behind him. "What?"
"Look where you're fucking going," Roy snaps, and Jamie looks back ahead just in time to dodge someone wheeling a pram. "I said, what the fuck did you mean when you said you were flattered that everyone thought you were gay? Why is that flattering?"
Jamie is confused for a moment that he's bringing this up now, then remembers Roy wasn't in the room for that. Someone must have mentioned it to him. "Always wanted to be gay," he explains.
"Why?"
Jamie shrugs. "Better clothes. Better clubs. Way better hookup apps. Plus, men are dead sexy."
There is a very long silence. Jamie glances back again just to make sure Roy hasn't fallen off the bike.
"You think men are sexy," Roy says flatly. "As in, you would like to have sex with them?"
"Yeah," Jamie sighs. "I think about it all the time."
Another long silence, then: "Have you ever heard the word bisexual?"
"Oh yeah, that's people who get to bang both! The fucking dream, innit. Wish that were me."
The rope around Jamie's waist starts to jerk rhythmically. He looks back to find Roy banging his head against the handlebars of the bike. "I don't—even—get fucking—paid for this," he's mumbling, and that's all Jamie catches before he crashes full-on into a streetlamp.
Researchers focused on whether kids that are spanked are more likely to share or, conversely, more likely to have anxiety, years down the li
2021:
Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences.
2018:
The American Academy of Pediatrics says new evidence and research not only show that spanking affects a child’s brain development and increa
2016:
Kids who are spanked tend to act out more and have more problems later on.
2012:
A study reviewed more than two decades of research on the effects of spanking and found nothing positive to report, only that physical punis
2010:
A multiyear study shows spanking kids makes them more aggressive later on
I haven’t pissed people off lately by reminding them that ALL types of physical punishment of kids has been proven beyond ANY reasonable doubt to have only negative long term outcomes.
So let me scream it from the hilltops:
Stop hitting kids. End of sentence.
If you think, “but I was hit and I turned out just fine” let me pre-reply: NO YOU DID NOT. You think hitting a child is ok, how the fuck does that qualify as “fine”?????? From one abuse survivor to another: please start healing yourself.
Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
Odysseus: Regret it why?
Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.
Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.
*A couple of months later*
Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.
Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.
I am currently vibrating out of my skin waiting for the HEATED RIVALRY finale and the cottage and the only thing that has kept me in the general vicinity of sanity has been the absolutely god tier fic. I can't tell you how many times I've had to practically shove my face into my hoodie to try to muffle the cackling laughter because I was not going to explain what I was reading to the people around me, but all the lolz-worthy fic really did help take the edge off the desperate intensity of feelings I had after episode 5.
I meant to post this sooner, but then wound up adding to it and adding to it because I couldn't stop reading and I still am further behind on my reading list than the last time I checked the tag on AO3. What an incredible fandom to get to watch explode, from this medium-sized book fandom I joined just a month before the show started, not even realizing that it was about to get such an incredible adaptation, but goddamn is there some fucking talent here. Hayden and Jackie are getting the love from fandom that they deserve! And you have no idea how many loopy!Shane or social media fics I have read and how each of them are incredible! Centaur team shenanigans! THIS FANDOM IS SO GOOD TO ME.
HEATED RIVALRY - NO I WON’T BE CHILL ABOUT THE GAY HOCKEY PLAYERS SHOW:
please leave a message by Ravenesta, ilya(/shane) & jackie & ocs, 2.4k
Sarah Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here. Jackie Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden. Jackie has added Lily to the conversation Lily what what is this
lost in translation by gurlsrool, ilya/shane & troy/harris & centaurs & oc, nsfw, 4.5k
The Centaurs' newest rookie speaks Russian. It's too bad that Shane and Ilya don't know that.
it's a fine line (between love and hate) by londonfoglatte (nimbus2003), ilya/shane & centaurs, nsfw, 4.1k
five times shane and ilya's friends worry they're are on the verge of divorce -- and one time they realize they're flirting.
don't ask (and i won't tell) by londonfoglatte (nimbus2003), ilya/shane & troy/harris & centaurs, NSFW, 4.2k
five times shane and ilya's friends have questions about gay sex -- and one time they wish they knew less.
I'll be Your Father Figure by Signsofsam, ilya/shane & david, 1.5k
Five posts David Hollander makes about Ilya, and one time Ilya returns the favor.
I'll Make It Better by imperfectcircle, kenopsia (indie), ilya/shane, 4.3k
"Hey," Ilya says, magnetized and moving towards him. Shane looks — soft, he looks fine, so fucking breakable but not broken. "There's my man," Shane says, in a small voice, musical. Ilya closes the distance between them, needing to touch him and needing him to lower his voice in equal measure.
it started with a whisper by gurlsrool, troy/harris & ilya/shane & centaurs & cast, 5.8k
When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.
The Waiting Game by Rizandace, ilya/shane & hayden & svetlana, 16k
Hayden Pike and Ilya Rozanov are waiting for Shane to wake up after he took a bad hit on the ice. They get to talking.
still the best (still an asshole) by pucksandpower, ilya/shane & centaurs, NSFW, 18.2k
Four times Ilya Rozanov reminded everyone exactly who the fuck they were dealing with (spoiler: still an asshole, still elite, still not going anywhere), and one time he didn’t have to be anything except soft.
Hop, Bunny, Hop by theemporium, ilya/shane, NSFW, 4.8k
Or, a bet was made and Shane is a good sportsman. That is the only reason he is putting on rozanov's jersey. Promise.
Troublemaker by White_Noise, ilya(/shane) & (scott/)kip, 5k
Kip's first outing as Scott's partner after the Stanley Cup results in an unexpected friendship with Ilya Rozanov.
The same number of stars by GlitterCity, ilya/shane, 2.9k
“Ilya?” Shane said in that same dreamy, loopy voice as that morning. Ilya exhaled in a rush. “Shane,” he said, and wanted to sag against the glass with relief. “What happened? Is something wrong?” “Not! Any moooooooore.”
a long way to go by goldengalaxies, (ilya/)shane & hayden & j.j. & voyageurs, 2.2k
"He's a fucking liar-" J.J shouted. The anger in his voice finally did it for Shane. The emotions bubbled over. "I get it okay! Yes, I lied! Fuck. But it wasn't just my secret to keep. Don't you get that?"
Concussion Protocol by cjr2, ilya/shane & cast, NSFW, 26.7k wip
Instead of Shane, it is Ilya who suffers a concussion during the Boston-Montreal game in April 2017. Dazed and agitated, Ilya briefly starts speaking and responding only in Russian and the medics can’t calm him down. Luckily, Shane started studying Russian after Ilya spoke to him in Russian on the phone from Moscow.
Confidence, Poor Judgment, and a Death Wish by TheHeartWantsWhatTheHeartWants, ilya/shane & troy & centaurs, 17.5k wip
“Hey, Ilya?” Troy asks, already regretting it. “I was actually going to ask you about someone.” The moment he says Shane Hollander’s name, the locker room goes quiet, and Troy knows he’s crossed a line he didn’t fully understand.
The Long Weekend by elephantshoes, ilya/shane, 2.8k
A long weekend at Shane’s cottage is meant to be quiet, private, and uncomplicated. Then Ilya discovers canoes, wildlife, and the exact limits of Shane’s patience—and somewhere between turtles, bets, and stolen kisses, Shane realizes he’s already given Ilya more than a key.
The Way Hockey Is by Erisenyo, ilya/shane & cliff & hayden, 5.6k
“Oh fuck,” Cliff hears himself say out loud as his brain suggests—something. “Roz and Holl…oh, fuck.”
Is Ilya Rozanov Really....? (A 5+1 story) by Ubiquitously_Ubiquitous, ilya/shane & ocs, 12k
Is Ilya Rozanov really . . . ? Or after Ilya signs with the Ottawa Centaurs, five times Ilya’s new neighbors in Ottawa learned he was nothing like they expected, plus the one time he was.
All The Things He Said (Running Through My Head) by lipstickliterature, ilya/shane, NSFW, 6.7k
In Episode 4, Shane leaves the nightclub with Rose. In the book, he leaves alone. But what if he had left with Ilya instead?
MORE RECS UNDER THE CUT because I have zero self-control about the amount of fic I want to shove at you all.
Maybe a Good Change? by burnishedvictory, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie, 4.7k
There’s silence for a while, then Shane says, “Ilya.” Hayden only knows one Ilya, but that’s impossible. But they are in Boston. “Rozanov??”
Jane has been added to the conversation. by dowhile, ilya/shane & ocs, 1.1k
a Shane Boston WAGs companion fic to the very wonderful please leave a message. or: Shane is decidedly not one of the girls.
the anesthesia made me do it by pucksandpower, ilya/shane & cast, 4.2k
Wisdom teeth surgery: 0/10, would not recommend. Confessing your feelings to your secret boyfriend while high on anesthesia in front of a nurse: -10/10, please make it stop.
Outed by Pain Killers by maysachilles, (ilya/)shane & hayden, ~1k
Hayden Pike visits his friend Shane Hollander in the hospital after his accident. He was not expecting him to come out, much less confess his love for Ilya Rozanov.
Jane has been added to the conversation. by dowhile, ilya/shane & ocs, ~1k
a Shane Boston WAGs companion fic to the very wonderful please leave a message.
BREAKING: Shane Hollander has ADMITTED to sleeping with Teddy Bears by leaveittome, ilya/shane, 1k
JOHN - Interviewer: Do you feel any emotions towards the Boston Raiders after they injured you, and took you out of the playoffs? Shane Hollander: I feel a lot of emotions towards their team. JOHN - Interviewer: Any in specific? Shane Hollander: Romantic feelings. JOHN - Interviewer: Uh. Romantic? What does that mean? (Presumed) Yuna Hollander: Please excuse him. He’s concussed.
truth or drink by thepinkcrayon, ilya/shane, nsfw, 1.8k
Shane and Ilya just came out as an engaged couple. They choose to do some press, including playing Truth or Drink.
Quiet after the win by hollzy81, ilya/shane, depression themes, 1k
Ilya drinks to cope and crashes hard. Shane is gentle, patient, and exactly what he needs.
Can I Tell You A Secret? by TheSpillwaysOfYourSoul, (ilya/)shane & (hayden/)jackie, 2k
Jackie Pike watches a very drugged up Shane after his accident and he tells her his secret
In Sickness and In Health... by SmolValkyrie, ilya/shane & centaurs, 1.7k
It's Shane's first physical with the Centaurs. He forgets to mention that he typically passes out when he gets blood drawn. Ilya, naturally, freaks out.
Hollanov does the Autocomplete Interview (NOT CLICKBAIT) by Will_Duck_You_Up, ilya/shane & harris & cast, 2.3k
Harris gets Shane and Ilya to do an autocorrect interview. This has unpredictable and unforeseen consequences.
notifications: Yuna Hollander tagged you in a photo by WeirdV, ilya/shane & david/yuna & centaurs, 3.6k wip
Harris Drover might be in charge of the Centaurs social media - he cannot tell Yuna Hollander what she can and cannot post.
Tad Too Tight by reynoldsz, ilya/shane & centaurs, ~1k
Being married on the same team can be proven difficult. Especially for rookies that don’t know the extent. Or, Ilya Rozanov chooses Shane Hollander anyway.
Dream Foursome? by yeobiewrites, ilya/shane & scott/kip, ~1k
Scott Hunters Jealousy Reaches New Heights Due To Ilya Rozanov
Hockey Moms Weekend by mightyismypen, ilya(/shane) & yuna, 3k
He was used to being without her. The pain never went away but the sting became manageable; something he could tuck away and avoid ever thinking about. Except when he couldn’t. Like during Hockey Moms Weekend.
three words, eight letters. by boewisvt, ilya/shane & centaurs, 1.8k
“Okay, but I have to ask… who said it first?” Ilya tried to play it cool, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Who said what first?” “You know,” Haas chimed in, voice teasing. “I love you.”
a different kind of game by thepinkcrayon, ilya/shane & centaurs, NSFW, 3.7k
Shane and Ilya came out as a couple and started playing for the same team. They get to travel together now. Ilya wants to have some fun, and Shane can't say no to his boyfriend. That's how he ends up with a plug in his ass on an airplane surrounded by teammates.
Sock Puppet by smugrobotics, ilya/shane, NSFW, ~1k
How to train your boyfriend in one week, guaranteed.
keeping up with shane hollander by everythingeverywhere, ilya/shane, ~1k
or, ilya has his google alerts set to notify him of all the latest and greatest shane hollander news
On The Mat by leiascully, ilya/shane, NSFW, 1.5k
Ilya learns to relax, sort of.
all tied up by strandnreyes, ilya/shane & hayden, nsfw, 1.5k
When Ilya accidentally cuffs him and Shane to the bed, there’s only one person in Montreal they can call to get the key.
Bad Genes and Ugly Noses by mightyd0lphin, ilya/shane, 2k
Ilya's first evening at Shane's cottage. They start to learn to talk to each other.
even steven by rowed, ilya/shane & hayden, 1k
“I mean, I already knew you were whipped,” Hayden continued playfully, “but this is a new level of down bad even for you.” Shane raised an eyebrow at his best friend. “Down bad? Who taught you that?”
Aqua Vitae by a_stray_thief (ashtraythief), ilya/shane, NSFW, 4.2k
Five times people think Ilya is drinking vodka straight from the bottle, and one time he actually does.
The Centaurs Have a PR Problem (and It’s Married) by Justaromanticfool, ilya/shane & luca/oc & centaurs, NSFW, 41.4k
Shane and Ilya are finally on the same team! The Centaurs’ communications and PR department hasn’t known peace since.
We’re Sick like Animals by lightningMcWeeb, ilya/shane, NSFW, 2.5k
“You don't get sick?” Shane asked, accusatory, after a few more seconds. “Da. Of course not. We are not weak like boring Canadians.”
across the wires by Ravenesta, ilya(/shane) & (hayden/)jackie, 4.1k
Hayden groans. "Rozanov? Dude, what are you doing in my fucking house? "It is girls' night," Ilya informs him primly. "I am one of girls."
i could take away the shaking knees by gurlsrool, ilya/shane & scott/kip & troy/harris & centaurs, 5.7k
“Kip, help,” Scott says. “Rozanov’s trying to make us play never have I ever because he never matured past the age of twelve.” “I am trying,” Ilya slurs more than says, “to make memories.”
and it took some time (but i understand it now) by stars4chloe, ilya/shane & hayden & rose & cast, 2.6k
5 times Shane spoke Russian and no one could understand why - and 1 time they did.
kindness is love with its work boots on by Sapphic_terror, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie, 7.5k
Or, Shane doesn’t wake up so easily and Hayden Pike somehow ends up taking care of Ilya Rozanov. (Jackie does the heavy lifting; he’s just there for the ride and realizations.)
Yuna Hollander Figures It Out by beautifulduckweed, ilya/shane & yuna, 2.1k
Yuna is waiting for her son to finally come out and tell the truth: that he's in love with his teammate and best friend of the last eight years, Hayden Pike.
Centaurs In Love by oopsireaditagain, ilya/shane & ryan & centaurs, 2.2k
It's Shane's first day at Centaurs training camp. Everyone (especially Ilya) is very welcoming. And a friend decides to drop by for a surprise visit. :)
you go down (while the world watches) by lola_prongs, ilya/shane & cast, 1.4k
Or, the one where hockey twitter reacts to Shane Hollander’s injury during the Metros x Raiders game and Ilya Rozanov’s reaction to it.
What Jackie Knows by probablylily, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie, 4.1k
5 times Jackie learns something about Shane + 1 time she learns something about Ilya
Sarang-ni by mokuseisan, ilya/shane, NSFW, 1.6k
OR, Shane gets his wisdom tooth removed and returns to Ilya high on drugs, featuring his unfortunate oral fixation.
Meeting the team by WeirdV, ilya/shane & centaurs, 2k
Ilya brings Shane to a team event for the first time - they haven’t told anyone he wants to join the team next season. But Ilya can finally bring him as his plus one - and he will take advantage of that.
Vodka Cranberry by kooksie, ilya/shane, 5.1k
After the hookup where Shane and Ilya didn’t kiss, Shane nearly passes out in his rival’s hotel room.
against the tiles of the locker room by saythemahae, ilya/shane, NSFW, 2.6k
“You have a filthy mouth, Captain,” Ilya murmured, his voice thick with contempt and desire. “I will clean it for you.” Then, Ilya—fucking finally—leaned in.
Overtime Confessions by ThePromptWasntThisLong (shredded_potato), ilya/shane, NSFW, 3.9k
Caught between the roar of the rink and the hush of a locked door, Shane insists he can’t stand Ilya, but everything changes once he’s pinned, moaning “Daddy,” and Ilya starts calling him “baby” like a promise he intends to keep.
WAG Support Network by stabthroughme, ilya/shane & jackie & ocs, 2.6k
Shane went down hard, bleeding on the ice, and Ilya was hiding in a stairwell to avoid Shane's teammates when he caught up on the WAG chat and saw the missed call from Jackie.
sweet tooth by rosepetal, ilya/shane, 1.3k
“Sorry…Who are you?” Shane builds up the courage to ask when he knows they’re alone again. The man’s piercing eye contact is making him squirm a little, but it’s not unwanted. It makes Shane's stomach flip actually. “I am Ilya” “Ilyaaaaa.” He tests the name out, it feels right. Familiar. He lets out a small giggle at how ridiculous he must sound right now.
sophomore slump or comeback of the year? by rowed, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie, nsfw, ~1k
A wave of emotions washed over Hayden then, a strange combination of annoyance, despair, self-pity, and abject horror. Luckily for him, Shane and Jackie were approaching with the children in tow before Rozanov could say anything else that would scar him for life. “Shane. Shane! Did you hear what he just said?” Hayden asked hysterically.
Dig Two Graves by devovitsuasartes, ilya/shane & centaurs & ocs, nsfw, graphic content/scenes, 28k
The Montreal Voyageurs won't stop slinging mud at Shane in the press, so Shane and Ilya decide to get revenge the best way they know how.
Shane Hollander vs. the Cat by barelypink, ilya/shane & centaurs, NSFW, 7.4k
Or Shane and Ilya adopt a cat. Hijinks, sex, and feelings ensue. (Not with the cat. They're not perverts, I promise.)
A Lily by Any Other Name by V_L2_3, ilya/shane & hayden & rose, 3.9k
Or: Shane decides to come out to Hayden after breaking up with Rose, and Hayden is determined to find out who Lily is.
everything subdural by Anonymous, ilya/shane, 10.2k
Shane gets laid out cold on the ice for the first time in his career. A month later, things go sideways again, and Ilya realizes he doesn't have forever to figure it out anymore.
I Freaking Knew It by sreside94, ilya/shane & ocs, 1.3k
Shane Hollander has never been normal. But it's pretty weird when he says Ilya Rozanov's first name while semi-conscious on the ice. Shane and Ilya might think no one ever caught on to them, but Marc knew.
Cliff Knows by bombshellblonde, ilya/shane & cliff & hayden, 1k
Cliff Marleau has known about Roz and Hollander for years. But unlike some people he didn’t post videos about them.
The Annoying Best Friend of My Husband is My Enemy? by broidkwhatimdoing, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie & centaurs, nsfw, 2.7k
Ilya gets in a fight during a game with Boston. It's not for the reason anyone expects.
where the lovelight gleams by gurlsrool, ilya/shane & david/yuna & troy/harris, NSFW, 10k
the sugary highs and lows of Christmas Day through the years, from Ilya Rozanov's perspective.
Then It Hits (That I'm Damned) by somethingwild (heartenedevasion), ilya/shane & cast, NSFW, 5.5k
Or: despite the initial fear, the world doesn't end when Shane Hollander realizes he loves Ilya Rozanov. Now, he just has to convince Ilya of that same truth. An adjusted timeline. A collection of moments. A story about completing someone, despite the odds.
the baby monitor by alaska_was_taken, ilya/shane & david/yuna & hayden, 1.4k
or how Hayden, Yuna and David found out about Hollanov after Shane’s accident, because they set up a baby monitor
You Got Me Dizzy (I Can't Even See My Way) by servetas, ilya/shane, NSFW, 5.2k
Shane knows how to say about four words in Russian, and Ilya loses his mind
Not Gay Not Straight But a Secret Third Thing by shadowmaster13, ilya/shane & cliff, ~1k
Set during Ilya's final season with Boston.
longing in the afterglow by RavenOfRao, ilya/shane, 1.8k
In which Shane wants Ilya to teach him some Russian.
in the murky deep by boxysmiles, ilya/shane, nsfw, 7.5k
Shane drops. It's unfortunate timing.
Hey, question: To what extent is street food an universal city phenomenon?
Like when people start building permanent, densely populated habitations big enough to be considered cities, do they just all independently develop some form of "ready-to-eat convenience food you can just buy off a stall/vendor/etc off the street and eat wherever you find convenient"? The ancient romans had those, to the point where the cheapest rental apartments didn't even have their own kitchens because you'd just buy your meals from the street.
And I know street food vendors of some sort were also a thing in ancient China and I think also Korea and Japan (I don't know the details so I'm not going to guess into more specifics), and it feels far more plausible to me that both places came up with the concept independently than having had the novel idea of "sell hot meal on street/buy hot meal off street" drag its entire ass across their entire known world from one point to the other by the silk road.
Is there records of some similar phenomenon from other great historical societies? The ones from other continents besides Europe and Asia? Because while it had never occurred to me before, their absence in city life would be weird as hell now that I think about it.
Austin Texas has essentially none of those. There are like. a couple food trucks. But the downtown isn't very walkable and we don't have that much tourism. So no street food :(
Downtown is walkable if you’re not a scaredy-cat. Does it take like 45 min to walk from the drag to 6th? Sure. But that’s not super crazy. The crazy part is that I don’t think I’ve ever seen street food in Austin, TX that didn’t have parking. Bc, it boasts as being a major player in the increase in popularity of food trucks.
However. Food trucks are generally more expensive then most restaurants. So idk if they count as street food.
ok thank god there's so many fucking videos showing you how to do a ladder stitch like it's some kind of magic trick but here's the actual use case for it: closing a seam you can't reach the inside of. in all other cases, if you're fixing a ripped seam on pants, or on a tshirt, the ladder stitch is a messy, glorified running stitch.
Alternative format Google Doc (5.4k word count) is available here in plain text with image descriptions!
Here's an intro to Formula 1 lore. Get to know some famous rivalries, resident curses, and basic history!
I am once again infodumping about F1, but this time it is about some of the lore in as unbiased of a fashion as I can.
If you notice anything wrong with this presentation (whether it be ALT text, a fact, something formatted oddly, etc.), please feel free to tell me, I will gladly fix any errors!
And, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!
Click here to view my intro to F1 as a sport.
Click here to view my intro to the 2026 grid.
Click here to view the original slideshow.
Actually this is an obvious question but it’s not what you might think. Let me explain it to you, I’ve been an opiate addict for a long time and tried many drugs. Drugs that are ‘uppers’ have the most ‘obvious’ euphoria. For example if you take adderall/coke/meth/speed/MDMA you will get this shining bright euphoria, self confidence, energy, and other drug-specific feelings (for meth like you are king or for MDMA like you love everyone). However, you owe these drugs back what they delivered to you. After a meth binge, or lots of MDMA use, or staying up all night on coke you will feel like shit. To an extent this aspect is similar to an alcoholic hangover.
On the other hand, for many people who experiment with heroin they are underwhelmed (not including IV usage, but most experimenters rarely ever IV first time). They just feel good, chill, happy, but they feel like this spooky drug ‘heroin’ hasn’t delivered. They are just mellow. Oh obviously it has all been a lie they will think. Heroin isn’t spooky, it’s chill. It’s not addictive like everyone else thinks. It doesn’t make you do stupid shit or stay up all day and hallucinate like amphetamines or coke. It doesn’t empty your serotonin like MDMA or give you a hangover like alcohol. People tend to just think oh, what a nice drug.
So the next day they wake up and everything is normal. No headache or shitty feeling–just a slight afterglow of that nice feeling. Oh it was cheap as well! It only cost $10 for a whole night of being high! I thought people said heroin was expensive? And then next weekend comes… There are all these drugs I could do but I liked heroin. It didn’t fuck me up,‘I could still think clearly. No hangover. No feeling like shit later. I still was awake. It just made me happy and content with life. Oh and it’s only $10! Well, I should get some more for the whole weekend. This is great! I will use Heroin on the weekends now!
Now let’s say this person works and has responsibilities. He knows he can’t go into work drunk, or on MDMA, or high. So he doesn’t. It’s actually simple. But heroin… Well the user might actually find they do better work on heroin. Instead of being sad or grumpy or depressed with his job… he is just… happy. Mellow. Content. Everything is fine and the world is beautiful. It’s raining, it’s dark, I woke up at 5:30AM, I’m commuting in traffic. I would have had a headache, I would have been miserable, I would have wondered how my life took me to this point. This point I’m at right now. But no, no, everything is fine. Life is beautiful. The rain drops are just falling and in each one I see the reflection of every persons life around me. Humanity is beautiful. In this still frame shot of traffic on this crowded bus I just found love and peace. Heroin is a wonder drug. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin makes me who I wish I was. Heroin makes life worth living. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin builds up a tolerance fast. Heroin starts to cost more money. I need heroin to feel normal. I don’t love anymore. Now I’m sick. I can’t afford the heroin that I need. How did $10 used to get me high? Now I need $100. That guy that let me try a few lines the first time doesn’t actually deal. Oh I need to find a real dealer? This guy is a felon and carries a gun–he can sell me the drug that lets me find love in the world. No this isn’t working, I need to quit.
To answer your question, heroin feels nice. That’s all, it just feels very nice. You can make the rest up for yourself. Attach your own half-truths to this drug that will show you the world and for a moment you will feel as clever as Faust.
Edit: Thank you for the kind words. I received help and I’m doing well now. Luckily I was able to pull up and get help right before I entered the deadly downward spiral. Some of my friends have not done as well. Sorry to steal the limelight from OP
A reply to this from Ifuxdalion
Reading that was more haunting than any anti-drug campaign that I’ve been exposed to. Thanks. A lot.
End of reddit post.
The third image are tags on tumblr. They read #anti-drug campaigns should be run by recovering addicts #cause like #how are you gonna talk honestly about how a drug affects your life if youve never done it #how can you really communicate what it does to your life if you ignore the reasons people do drugs in the first place? #i dont think anyone’s gonna believe you when you say a drug is bad if you never acknowledge the way the drug makes you feel good #tags
The thing that kills me about this, is that it frankly discusses the general misery and malaise that we put up with in our regular sober lives, and it says straight up that the drug makes it BEARABLE. This is the clearest and most straightforward description of “drug addiction is not a failure of personal strength and character, it is an attempt to medicate and make survivable the horrifying sociocultural conditions that we are being forced to accept as the normal cost of living.” It’s the Rat Park drug addiction hypothesis demonstrated in humanity.
i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.
as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”
small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.
i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.
“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos
#discovering that the profound is lurking behind the absurd#just waiting for the chance to peek through like sunlight through the clouds#is one of the best things in life once you start to notice it
this is a beautiful way to put it and i’m gonna cry abt it
Ahem @bettinalevyisdetermined could you please do a video with this?
also “you’re not brave, you’ve merely forgotten the fear of death. Allow me to reacquaint you.” Is the rawest line and it’s from dominus ghaul from destiny 2’s vanilla story when it first released.
“Spare me this mockery of justice!”
(A few minutes later, a with a different character)
“Silence! Or you shall be held in contempt of court!”
“I have nothing *but* contempt for this court!”
The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
“For every kid that dreams up the electric lightbulb, there’s one who dreams up the atom bomb.” - Mr. Electric, The Adventures of Sharkboy And Lavagirl (2005).
“The world should have protected you, but instead you have been asked to protect it. What an honor; what an injustice.” - Brain Murphy, NADDPOD
“In the same way that your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares.” - Brennan Lee Mulligan, Dimension 20
random PSA, I know a lot of people use duckduckgo as a Google alternative search engine, but it always kind of annoyed me when I was using it because it felt like No Name Brand Google
I have switched to using Startpage.com and vastly prefer it. for one thing, instead of displaying an "AI summary" at the top of the search results (unless you turn it off, yes I know), it displays the first paragraph of the Wikipedia article, with link, whenever it finds one that's relevant.
also a waaayyyyy better sense of design than duckduckgo
also private, European based, least annoying search I've used lately (RIP old "don't be evil" Google)
i have one of those, scraped from multiple different rec posts:
Search Engines
Infinity Search is an alternative search engine with a special focus on privacy
DuckDuckGo is a popular search engine for those who value their privacy and are put off by the thought of their every query being tracked and logged. Uses bangs, ![site] for in-page search (sells your data to microsoft and draws from fucking bing)
WolframAlpha is a privately owned search engine that allows you to “compute expert-level answers using Wolfram’s breakthrough algorithms, knowledgebase, and AI technology.” A data search engine.
Boardreader is a search engine for forums and message boards. It allows you to search forums and then filter down results by date and language.
Based in France, Qwant is a privacy-based search engine that won’t record your searches or use your personal details for advertising. Uses “&” as a bang search.
Another privacy-based search engine is Search Encrypt, which uses local encryption to ensure that users’ identifiable information cannot be tracked. Metasearch across multiple engines.
Offering unbiased results from several sources, SearX is a metasearch engine that aims to present a free, decentralized view of the internet. Can be self-hosted.
Gibiru’s tagline is “Unfiltered private search” and that’s exactly what it offers. Requires AnonymoX Firefox add-on for privacy.
Disconnect allows you to conduct anonymous searches through a search engine of your choice.
Swisscows provides fully encrypted searches to protect your privacy and security. Built-in violence/porn filter cannot be overridden.
MetaGer offers “Privacy Protected Search & Find” through its anonymised search. A plugin will allow it to be made a default.
Gigablast is a private search engine that indexes millions of websites and servers real-time information without tracking your data, keeping you hidden from marketers and spammers. Variety of filtration and refinement options for searching.
Oscobo is a search engine that protects your privacy while you search the web. By not using any third-party tools or scripts, your data is protected from hacking and misuse. Has a Chrome extension to allow use in toolbar.
https://search.marginalia.nu/ an independent DIY search engine that focuses on non-commercial content, and attempts to show you sites you perhaps weren't aware of in favor of the sort of sites you probably already knew existed. Use old-school searching rather than query-based for the best results.
https://www.mojeek.com/
https://wiby.me/ - It’s goal is to index as many personalized websites as possible, and NOT commercial sites.
https://4get.ca/ it works a lot like SearX, but honestly better. It doesn’t have its own index, but pulls from many others. I think it’s the best for research, since it allows you to search for answers from different indexes, is easy to configure, add free, and avoids censorship as much as it can.
https://www.searchenginemap.com/ for more on how search engines relate to each other.
https://yep.com/ is a crawler
https://www.etools.ch/ retrieves from Google, Mojeek, Bing, and Yandex, like Searx
https://www.dogpile.com/
https://searxng.org/ (next gen Searx)
https://luxxle.com/ - possibly conservative?
https://presearch.com/ - good for academic?
https://kagi.com/smallweb - free/randomised Kagi.
Other Searchers
www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.
www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.
https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.
www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.
http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.
www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.
www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free.https://cosine.club/ is an electronic music similarity search engine
