Jess’ Blog/Persona Median System

Hi my name is Jess. I’m in my mid-late 30s. I’m married. I like the moon, mushrooms, coffee, reading, and dragonflies. I play video games. I have EDS, Fibromyalgia, Scoliosis, thoracic (mid back) arthritis, an autoimmune disease (either scleroderma and or lupus), ADHD, researched self diagnosed/undiagnosed autism (can’t afford official diagnosis). A median, paragenic, madd, oc fictive (octive) heavy, neurogenic system. DNI: anti endo, anti median system, anti empath, anti self identify neurodivergent.

[jessdragonfly]

ガオmaker

シンプルな女の子からゴテゴテの女の子まで作れます🌟 アイコン用きせかえメーカー ▼袖を表示させる場合手を選ばないと透明人間になるので注意してください。 ▼ガバガバなので合わないパーツ同士はがっつり浮きます！ ▼ゴテゴテにしたい場合▼🎲ランダム→気に入ったもの→パー

JessDragonfly

A little YouTube channel where I talk about my experiences, opinions, and interests. Just a little place to just talk about whatever is on m

My selfies Instagram:

Welcome back to Instagram. Sign in to check out what your friends, family & interests have been capturing & sharing around the world.

Side blog:

@salah-alien · Salah Neptune

Alienkin side blog. DNI: anti otherkin, anti empath, anti self identity neurodivergent. I am officially diagnosed ADHD but undiagnosed autis

@aura-elf · Aurealia (Aura) Sylvie

(I’m currently in my 30s but elf age is more like 300s). I feel like my body should be an elf instead of human. My name means: Aurealia: "go

[unique-plural]

Idk if its unique, but like, we periodically just become a singlet. Like we don't have a time frame, just like, integrated. We call "temporary integration". Different from system silence, because i can actually feel connected to some things that usually the others would be connected to

We're pluralflux and more often than not become just so. singular. at times. Not exactly a singlet, but still become so close to it.

-the Organism

[andytruther]

pluralflux things ˚⋆𓇼˚⊹ 𖦹 ⁺｡° (my experiences)

^ having long stretches of being one person. *cue denial that it ever happened*

^ sometimes feeling like no one at all *depersonalisation, dissociation*

^ feeling more plural in times of stress or after triggers *they're there when i need them*

^ changing between levels of separation: from none, to one, to one(?), to a few, to pieces and parts and people

^ feeling more plural if i focus on it and track fronting. feeling less plural if i don't *things get clearer and more distinct*

^ not knowing my headcount / having unstable fronters *sometimes names are archetypes because fronters are too fluid to pin down*

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for varion or medianflux systems!

Not every system experiences a constant state of separation or cohesion. Some systems may find that their multiplicity varies as time passes! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling variations in your system’s degrees of separation - you’re still valid as plural and a welcome member of our spaces! This post is for all the varion or medianflux systems out there!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems who feel more or less plural depending on the day of the week or month!

🪐 Shoutout to systems who feel more or less plural depending on their circumstances or what’s happening in their lives!

💫 Shoutout to systems who love the way their plurality works as a varion system!

🌑 Shoutout to systems who feel more plural when certain headmates are fronting, and less plural when other headmates front!

⭐️ Shoutout to systems whose constant state of flux and change make them feel disoriented or confused sometimes!

🪐 Shoutout to those who are questioning whether or not they are medianflux!

💫 Shoutout to systems who feel less median and more distinct when they’re engaging with their special interests, hyperfixations, or beloved hobbies!

🌑 Shoutout to systems whose members often blend, merge, or temporarily fuse with each other!

⭐️ Shoutout to medianflux systems who often struggle to determine whether or not they have a new headmate due to the way their plurality works!

🪐 Shoutout to systems who sometimes call themselves diversian, mesosian, or parasian depending on how they’re feeling that day!

💫 Shoutout to systems where some headmates are closer to median or singlet and others are closer to fully separated and multiple!

We hope every varion or medianflux system can have a wonderful day today! Please know that you are valid as plural and as a system, and you are a welcome and cherished part of the plural community just the way you are. We love y’all and we really appreciate your perspectives - rest assured, you definitely belong here!

Please do your best to treat yourself and your system with kindness and gentleness today. You are so loved, and our spaces simply would not be the same without you in them. Medianflux systems have always been and will always be treasured pillars of our community! Thanks so much for reading, and please take care of yourselves!

[earlgraytay]

Lessons Learned from a Year Listening to the Fictional Octopus in My Head

I can pinpoint the day when my brain was officially infiltrated by a fictional octopus. Early in the pandemic lockdown, I sat at the kitchen

I think this article is relevant to a lot of the very stupid, wanky debate that I keep seeing going around my dash about TEENS SELF-DIAGNOSING WITH DID. It is a funny quirky article written by a literary fiction author about how one of her characters got into her head during the pandemic and started dispensing Wry Life Advice, disappearing as soon as the stressful situation ended.

there's this bit that I think @pervocracy wrote, about how if your culture only had two words for 'fear', and one of them was "mild nervousness about passing a test" and the other was "the bone-chilling horror of being chased by zombies in a graveyard", that keeps you from talking about a whole range of human experiences. if you have crippling social anxiety, or you have an uncommon phobia, or any kind of fear that isn't 'mild nerves' or 'IMPENDING PHYSICAL DOOM'? you're stuck choosing between two words that do not suit your experience to describe what's going on.

I think "the experience of having an entity in your head that is Not You" is actually remarkably common- way more than 1%- especially among writers/artists/actors/fandom folks, and especially among anyone who's going through a severe physical or mental stress. an entity like this can exist in varying degrees of independence-from-you and interest-in-the-outside-world. Sometimes this entity is a comforting presence, other times it's a malevolent one. some disappear as quickly as they appear, and others stick with you for your whole life.

A lot of historical cultures had a framework to explain this kind of thing. "This is your daemon." "This is your guardian angel." "You're hearing spirits; you're possessed." Mainstream Western culture rejected these explanations, and in some cases, rightfully fucking so. But we don't really have a framework to replace them.

So if you are experiencing this phenomenon, because of how our society has decided to handle it, you really only have two words for it- "imaginary friend", or "DID alter". in the vast majority of cases neither of these words are appropriate, in the same way that severe social anxiety isn't Test Jitters or IMMINENT FEAR OF YOUR LIFE.*

there is a wide range of human experiences here being collapsed into 2 points. but people who are having that experience are going to need the words to describe it. if you're a published litfic author and the experience is over, you can write an article about it and just come off as a Little Quirky. if you're a teenager on TikTok, the experience is ongoing, and the only word you're being offered is DID? you're gonna take that word.

we need more words for this range of experiences. we need more people to be able to talk about this range of experiences- including DID, which is a very different experience from Brain Octopus up there- without getting tarred as Bad Psycho Crazy. we need to stop arguing whether or not you can only have this state of being from Severe Enough Trauma; we need to be able to accept it as a natural part of how humans are without judgement or shame.

*(Not saying that having alters is the same thing as ZOMBIES IN A GRAVEYARD; it's the Wide Range Of Intensity And Experiences that I'm comparing.)

[positivitygenic]

it's okay to be you and be who you are, even when it seems childish to other people. you are most certainly not annoying for engaging in your hobbies and expressing yourself. you don't need to change who you are to fit into someone else's definition of what an adult can be.

[jessdragonfly]

Hubby and my new stuffies.

[fromfiction]

You can't fake something unintentionally or unconsciously.

Faking an experience is done with full knowledge and conscious intent on your part of what you are doing.

If something is happening to you unintentionally, if you are doing something and unconsciously, you are having a legitimate experience of some kind.

If you're faking something, you're doing it deliberately. Faking something isn't something that just happens to you. An experience is something that just happens to you.

[jessdragonfly]

I feel like a “weird” type of median system. It feels like I’m faking but I am not. This is because it has came and went in phases and at various times in my life my system has restructured itself and I get parts with different names than before. They go dormant so often. At least nowadays it takes a super ton of stress and mental exhaustion for my brain to create these parts and fragments. As I’ve said in other posts before, it happened so easily when I used to be on a mood stabilizer. Now it doesn’t happen as quickly or as often and so that’s a reason I’m afraid I was faking it even though I wasn’t at least never on purpose. It’s just I have never read or heard about other peoples systems coming and going like mine does. That’s why it’s weird to me. But this has been my experience so I just thought I’d share.

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]

[plurality-pet-peeves]

when anti endos are like 'endo "systems", willo "systems"' like dude can you get much pettier

.

[jessdragonfly]

I’m median

I should probably be glad that sometimes my head is quiet. But it just feels so strange because of the times it’s not quiet and the times when I’m clearly more median than other times. Like I should be glad that I have what’s referred to as probably a high split tolerance. A ton of stress is required. I don’t develop personas easily. I should be glad when I’m not plural or median, right? Because it’s not normal to want to be that way, right? Why would you want to suffer with this? But then again I’m not anti endo or anything and someone would accuse me of being that if I think this way. It’s hard not to doubt myself at times like this and also go through imposter syndrome. How do I cope with this? It feels like I’ve been faking it but I haven’t, it just comes and goes in phases.

Tagging it with tw pluralphobia even if the doubts are coming from internal. It’s not pluralphobia on purpose or anything.

[median-culture-is]

median culture is feeling like we're not plural enough for most system spaces but too plural for singlets

.

[faggy-thing]

could i req two things ? :3

1 - a wallpaper (1920 x 1200) with huey and louie duck from ducktales 2017, and the fictionkin symbol. (could there be a version without it also?)

2 - a moodboard of kuromi (specifically her in 'hello kitty and friends supercute adventures') with themes of pastel pink + purple and cutesy stuffs.

ty in advance !!

here you go, I hope you enjoy! I could only do one of these, so I chose the second one since it sounded more fun :3

[thelunastusco]

Hi, an “endogenic” refresher course, right here!

1. We introduced the term “endogenic” into the community August 2014, along with some other terms! It was in response to exclusionists (wrongly) complaining about “systems without DID” using “their words”. It was an attempt at creating nonmedicalized terms that any plural system could use. 

2. It was also a way to do away with terms that had fallen into disfavor— specifically “natural systems”, a term that had been in use possibly as early as 1994. It was disliked because people felt it implied that trauma-caused systems were unnatural. “Endogenic” fixed that. 

3. The word “endogenic” was lovingly created to help systems put their experience into words. All it means is “a system not formed by trauma”; it doesn’t imply any other cause, set of beliefs, or experiences. It doesn’t imply the system is nondisordered or doesn’t have trauma. It doesn’t mean any other system’s origins in trauma or dx status is “invalid” or whatever.

4. Though the terms were eventually posted to tumblr, the idea didn’t start there. Tumblr was created in 2007; the concept of systems not caused by trauma has, again, been online since the 90s. Nor was the term created by singlets! We’re a trauma-caused system with DID. 

5. “Endogenic” wasn’t created as an insult or to exclude anyone. We have loved ones who are endogenic. Many of the terms in use now were created by endogenics. They have helped preserve plural history, and defended the community. They are good people, and real systems. The hate they get is completely senseless.

Thanks for coming to our talk. Please stop insulting endogenic systems, and educate yourselves instead, thanks. (Unless it’s just pure malice at this point in which case, fuck off I guess.)

https://endogenichub.weebly.com/ is a decent site to learn more.

[jessdragonfly]

At least this person is nicer about it and seems more endo neutral maybe. Like they don’t believe endo exists but they aren’t doing the whole anti endo hate speech either. Yes DiD needs trauma but the type of plurality endogenic has does not need trauma as an origin. Endo aren’t claiming to have a DiD after all anyhow.

TikTok - Make Your Day

[anendoandfriendo]

Hey so like, seeing this *as* an endogenic scrolling the plurality tag one last time today (our bad habit of saying we'll sleep and then NOT doing it) and:

1. Being anti-endogenic = believes endogenics do not or should not exist, full stop. Please do not call anti-endogenics endogenic-neutral just because they aren't saying the quiet part out loud they'd rather have us dead and/or nonexistent.

2. We aren't going to argue DID requires trauma, but can we ALL as a community stop saying that origins are the same as DSM disorder status? Not just you& OP, we mean this seriously and have been screaming for years about it.

Link to post in which we talked about the most extreme scenario of what we mean by this:

Reblog by @anendoandfriendo · 1 link

💬 0  🔁 17  ❤️ 37 · why the fuck are you posting “endo positivity” in the hc-did tag. you cannot have hc-did and not be traumagenic. what I'

Thank you if you take the time to read any of this, and have a good night.

[jessdragonfly]

Sorry😅. I suppose I was comparing this post to my previous one. The person from the previous post had a post and a TikTok (that has since been deleted) that was completely and clearing anti endo. The person in this post to me sounded milder. At least their voice didn’t sound harsh and they sounded calmer. They sounded open minded especially if someone presented evidence and things to read to them. But yeah I guess I see what you mean. This person still doesn’t believe that endogenic is a real thing. This is unfortunate as I like to learn about DiD from their TikTok. I am fascinated by the disorder and it’s interesting to learn.

But yeah it’s unfortunate to find an anti endo. Pro endo seems to be more accepting than other systems of my type of plurality. I am median system. I actually do feel in between singlet and multiple and I am grateful for pro endos being pro endo.

[anendoandfriendo]

Oh oof, thats completely fair.

We're probably also way more sensitive to wording 'cause like, we've had to be for a long time (before we even discovered the words "endogenic system" fwiw).

And YEAH that does kinda suck that ppl don't believe you at all.

(Also fwiw, median systems have existed for a long time both inside and outside of psychiatrized spaces, they were actually called midcontinuum for a long time and iwrc median is or was supposed to be the non-psychiatrized alternative. We would have to see if any of the older websites that we scrounged thru 7 years or so back to see if there was a history/community are still around.)

[jessdragonfly]

“Do Endogenic systems have DiD?” :

TikTok - Make Your Day