wallacepolsom

oozey mess

@theartofmadeline
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Jules of Nature
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Peter Solarz
Claire Keane

Kaledo Art

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Origami Around

★
Sweet Seals For You, Always

ellievsbear
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
taylor price

PR's Tumblrdome
KIROKAZE
h

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

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@kerthredorn
A Horse power being only 735 watt is honestly so weird like that's not even enough to run a modern game on decent seatings
You wanna know what's fucked?
Your brain is a 25-watt computer.
Brain is 25% of your energy consumption, you burn about 100 watts of power (about 100 joules per second). You're a 25-watt computer.
I don't like that fact
No but for real. Your brain is one of the most advanced machines known to exist. It's a computer capable of running a sapient intelligence on - and I cannot stress this enough - 25 watts of broccoli and stew. What the fuck.
It's a cool fact it just makes me uncomfortable
so an average toaster runs at about 1200 watts, say it takes 5 min to toast bread thats 0.1Kwh. itd take 4 hours of brain power to toast it
Just connect multiple humans together matrix style
in the woods amongst my coven, 48 all in total, linking hands deep in concentration. our collective will united on our task of great importance for what feels like days but in reality scarce but a few minutes. in the centre of us lays a single slice of toast cooked to perfection
One thing not enough model kit enthusiasts talk about is how often you can save money by shopping for your hobby tools...in the makeup department.
Sponge painting? Makeup sponges are durable and have fine pores for smooth paint finishes. Need a plastic file? Glass nail files are half the price of gunprimer. Want to remove nub marks? Nail buffing/polishing blocks are less than a buck and you can cut them to size. Detail painting? You can get a 100 pack of eyeliner brushes or ultra fine nail art brushes for less than $10. I've had $2 makeup tweezers last me longer than the DSPIAE specialty ones. Paper nail files are even cheaper than sandpaper sheets. A cheap makeup brush set is perfect for weathering and dry brushing.
And if you just happen to find some nail polish that piques your interest while you're there, even better.
If you want to rope in the tabletop roleplaying crowd as well, it's worth noting that most commercially available dice bags are literally just jewellery pouches that've been relabelled and marked up by a couple hundred percent. You'll have a much wider selection of colours and styles than your local game shop's standard black, blue and brown, too; don't you want your dice to feel pretty?
Incomplete collection of wargamers getting horsegirled
Cheap as fuck metal file I got from the manicure aisle, extremely useful (round body, one straight and one hooked edge), and works just as well as any comically overpriced Precision Tool™.
So. For those of you who didn't pay attention to the details of the legal spat between Krafton and Unknown Worlds, allow me to give you some details of the finest legal comedy of a generation.
Krafton CEO looks at the hype surrounding Subnautica 2, goes over the contract between Krafton and Unknown Worlds, realizes he'll have to pay out bonuses and freaks out because shelling out those bonuses will make him look like a pushover.
CEO goes to his legal department, asks them to come up with a plan to weasel out of paying bonuses. Legal tells him the contract is iron-clad and to accept the loss.
CEO refuses to take the loss, asks ChatGPT for a plan. ChatGPT says the exact same thing the legal department did.
CEO demands a plan from ChatGPT, which dutifully spits out a plan at this point because clearly the CEO is a goddamn idiot.
CEO deletes the chat logs, failing to understand that 'delete' doesn't permanently remove things.
CEO follows plan, and is surprised when Unknown Worlds sues for breach of contract despite being told by both humans and an LLM that is exactly what would happen.
Court does not go well for Krafton's legal department. It comes out that after ignoring the sound legal advice of human beings, the CEO went to ChatGPT and asked for a plan. When asked for the logs by the court, Krafton's legal team states they were deleted, thus that it's simply herersay. Judge goes "Oh, that's okay, we'll have our IT folks recover them." Krafton's legal team is astounded that's even possible.
The chat logs are recovered. It comes out that even ChatGPT was in agreement with Krafton's legal department, and only spat out a plan after being asked a second time.
The judge, now thoroughly done with the stupidity of Krafton's CEO at this point, rules in favor of Unknown Worlds. Her ruling doesn't simply undo the scheme, but effectively leaves all control over Subnautica 2's development in the hands of Unknown Worlds, including the early access release date, reducing Krafton to just publishing out of contractual obligation. Krafton must also return all social media platforms for Unknown Worlds and Subnautica 2 to Unknown Worlds' control. Financial damages will be determined at a later date.
Krafton proceeds to violate the court order in less than 72 hours by trying to set an early access release date before returning Unknown Worlds' social media platforms.
Summary: In trying not to look like a pushover, Krafton's CEO now looks like a complete idiot who's going to have to fork over bonuses, plus court-mandated damages, plus whatever comes out of violating the court's orders. Krafton's legal department may as well come to court dressed as clowns after this. I suspect Unknown Worlds might buy the rights to Subnautica back after all this and either relegate Krafton to just publishing or find a different publisher for future games altogether.
Well as long as we’re talking about the ancient internet, who remembers this.
… I just realised that some of my mutuals are Too Young to get flashbacks from this. I hate the internet.
Robot Unicorn Attack is from 2010. The window for ‘ancient’ keeps getting smaller. Anyway, All your base are belong to us.
I’m a simple person, i see the delightful duo that are flamboyant and nerdy Erasure, and reblog to share the love. Whether you discovered them via a scrubs episode or a flash animation, seek out more. It’s all wierd and wonderful.
I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.
Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.
It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.
It wasn't just the hoity-toity ritual magic stuff, either. Popular media often frames a fundamental opposition between the Church and practitioners of the Old Ways™, but on the ground, any given medieval European community's foremost practitioner of traditional folk magic was likely to be the village priest. And again, they very much were not supposed to be doing this. There were some very pointed letters going around reminding people to cut that shit out, not that we're naming any names, Jeremy, and no, "if you invoke the saints first it's fine" is not going to fly with the bishop.
I feel like a lot of folks in the notes are missing a critical piece of context here because they're not clear on what the Church's official position toward magic actually was during the Medieval period.
In brief, the idea that magic is a. real and b. Satanic was not the party line for the greater part of the Middle Ages. Obviously the particulars varied both regionally and over time, but for the most part, the official position of the Church was that there is no power but God's and magic is fake. The Church's principal objection to the practices of divination, spirit-binding, etc. was that they were fraudulent, not that they imperilled one's soul. Sometimes this was even carried to the point that accusations of witchcraft would result in the accuser getting in trouble rather than the accused; after all, if your neighbour is pretending to do wizard shit, that's fraud, but if you actually believe your neighbour is capable of wizard shit, that's heresy!
The hardline "magic is the work of Satan" stance that most folks are thinking of when they think of magic and the Church wasn't particularly widespread until very late in the Medieval period, and is really more characteristic of the post-Reformation era – which adds an extra layer of hilarity to the aforementioned local clergy doing wizard shit, because from the perspective of their superiors, the problem was less "oh no, our priests are consorting with Satan" and more "god fucking damn it, our priests keep scamming people with this wizard shit".
The Catholic Church, desperately penning their 500th letter to local clergy:
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP TELLING PEOPLE MAGIC IS REAL
The really funny part is that, by all accounts, some of the priests involved didn't even want to be doing wizard shit. Allegedly, they more or less got pressured into it by their congregations, who expected wizard shit of them and wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
I've been summoned by @artielu to vet this post, and I'm happy to confirm that it is, in fact, fairly accurate and does represent many of the ways in which medieval people did (and did not) think about gender, witchcraft, religion, magic, and practice. I've written quite a bit on this topic before, probably back when I was teaching a class on magic and the supernatural in the Middle Ages, but it's been a while.
The boring stereotypical Bad Middle Ages take is that medieval people were all howling misogynists and thus were burning Female Witches (and also midwives, out of an idea that medieval people saw all female-led intellectual practice as inherently bad, which is also uh, questionable) at the stake left and right. As I have carped about many times, Witch Trials (TM) as most people think of them were decidedly an early modern invention. The idea of witchcraft as both a) real and b) specifically and evilly female was also in fact a very late medieval invention; it was most explicitly codified in the infamous Malleus maleficarum of 1485. However its author, Heinrich Kramer, was already a raging misogynist and had been chased out of his parish the year before when for some reason, people got tired of him randomly accusing their wives and daughters of witchcraft. The Malleus is well known as a "witch hunting handbook," but people then tend to generalize its late 15th-century conclusions, written by one tiresome misogynist, as completely representative of The Middle Ages Everywhere. The Malleus also contains some anti-sodomitic polemicals, so there are just a whole stew of gender, queer, and other anxieties being represented here in a late medieval context. See i.e.:
Bailey, M. D., ‘From Sorcery to Witchcraft: Clerical Conceptions of Magic in the Middle Ages’, Speculum, 76 (2001), 960-90.
Bailey, M.D., ‘The feminization of magic and the emerging idea of the female witch in the late Middle Ages’, Essays in Medieval Studies 19 (2002), 120-134
Broedel, H.P., 'To preserve the manly form from so vile a crime: ecclesiastical anti-sodomitic rhetoric and the gendering of witchcraft in the Malleus Maleficarum', Essays in Medieval Studies 19 (2002), 136-148
Broedel, H.P., The Malleus Maleficarum and the Construction of Witchcraft: Theology and Popular Belief (Manchester: Manchester University Press, 2003)
Harley, D. ‘Historians as Demonologists: The Myth of the Midwife-Witch’, Social History of Medicine, 3 (1990), 1-26
Katajala-Peltomaa, S. ‘A good wife? Demonic Possession and Discourses of Gender in Late Medieval Culture’, in Gender in Late Medieval and Early Modern Europe, ed. by M.G. Muravyeva and R.M. Tovio (New York, NY: Routledge, 2013), pp. 73-88
Stephens, W., ‘Witches who steal penises: impotence and illusion in the Malleus Maleficarum’, Journal of Medieval and Early Modern Studies 28 (1998), 495-529
It's true that some of the most dedicated practitioners of ritual magic, and scholars and conservationists of magical texts, were monks, churchmen, and other religious figures. Some of them started from the position that God possessed the only supernatural power and any claim of other magic was wrong, but many others did believe that magical power was accessible from a variety of sources, even as this interacted uneasily with related notions of heresy, religion, blasphemy, and (demonic) sin. This represented the complex and shifting interaction between institutional Catholic and traditional/folk magic beliefs, which were never fully assimilated or "erased." It was in fact also popular among laypeople, as magical amulets or charms were highly valued for their supposedly protective capacities. Magic and ritual magic was also widely used in medicine and yes, for sex (people have always been people etc. etc.). See i.e.:
Bailey, M. D., Battling Demons: Witchcraft, Heresy and Reform in the Later Middle Ages (University Park, PA: Pennsylvania State University, 2003)
Boureau, A., Satan the Heretic: The Birth of Demonology in the Medieval West, trans. by Teresa Lavender Fagan (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago, 2006)
Collins, D., ed., Cambridge History of Magic and Witchcraft in the West (New York, NY and Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2015)
Fanger, C., ed. Conjuring Spirits: Texts and Traditions of Medieval Ritual Magic (Stroud: Sutton, 1998)
Flint, V. I. J., The Rise of Magic in Early Medieval Europe (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1991)
Kieckhefer, R., Magic in the Middle Ages (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2000)
Kieckhefer, R. ‘Erotic Magic in Medieval Europe’, in Sex in the Middle Ages, ed. by J. Salisbury (London and New York, NY: Garland, 1991), 30-55
Olsan, L.T., ‘Charms and Prayers in Medieval Medical Theory and Practice’, Social History of Medicine, 16 (2003), 343-66
Page, S. Magic in the Cloister: Pious Motives, Illicit Interests and Occult Approaches to the Medieval Universe (University Park, PA: Pennsylvania State University, 2013)
Rider, C. ‘Danger, stupidity and infidelity: magic and discipline in John Bromyard’s Summa for Preachers’, Studies in Church History, 43 (2007), 191-20
I could go on with quite a bit more, but the point is: there is an extensive scholarly literature on this topic, and any depiction of magical and supernatural beliefs in the Middle Ages, especially in popular media, is often the laziest imaginable shorthand for "they all hated women, thought they were witches, and burned anyone who didn't believe in the all-powerful Catholic church." Yet again, this also does vary by time period, as The Middle Ages are not one single undifferentiated block. A twelfth-century author is far more likely to scoff at the credulous fools who think magic is real or can actually compare to the power of God, whereas the early-modern authors, influenced by Kramer, will do far more of the stereotypical "witchcraft is a particularly female-gendered thing and also real, satanic, and evil." And yes, many medieval magic practitioners and enthusiasts were a) monks and the church and b) regular people, because it occupied a complex place in their belief system and was by no means simply evil. This doesn't mean that they were "more" or "less" enlightened according to the also-wildly-erroneous Scale of Perceived Human Progress, but just that they were complicated, stereotypes are stupid, and my kingdom for one (1) single nuanced, thoughtful, or remotely accurate depiction of this in medieval-themed media. The end.
Might I add:
A crazy little “today in history” fact for September 22nd.
Not Age of Sail, but too gloriously bizarre a piece of maritime-related history not to share.
@systlin
Look it’s not our fault when divination is right.
Speaking of, I had somebody tell me that they shy away from divination because they tried it at a party once, a death was predicted, and soon enough did happen. Goodness, it is not a fault of the prediction.
Honestly. Don’t fault the messenger.
Helen Duncan is a fantastically interesting bullshit merchant from the past and this is but one chapter in her weird, weird life.
Helen began her career as a psychic while she was still in high school, making spooky predictions about the future and generally being a drama queen. This would be like her whole theme throughout her life. But it wasn’t until she got married to her husband, who was 100% supportive of the whole psychic thing, that mediumship became her main gig. Helen’s thing - like her big fancy showstopper that she’d pull out at her seances - was the ability to produce ectoplasm, as well as fully-formed spirits. And fortunately, we have photos of those spirits!
Pictured: some definitely real ghosts.
These pictures were taken by a suspicious photographer who promptly called bullshit and passed his work on to some Legitimate Spiritualists, who theorized that Helen’s ectoplasm was made of a mix of cheesecloth, egg white, and toilet paper, which she would swallow and then regurgitate dramatically. Sometimes she would stick faces cut out from magazines into her ecto-puke, to create bonus ghosts. Samples obtained with Helen’s begrudging permission by the National Laboratory of Psychical Research confirmed their suspicions.
Other very hilarious episodes from the career of Helen Duncan:
the time she produced a little girl ghost named Peggy and somebody grabbed Peggy and Peggy turned out to be made out of an undershirt
the time a white-shrouded apparition showed up and an undercover cop was like “wot’s all this then” and the white-shrouded figure turned out to be Helen under a sheet and then she tried to hide the sheet
the time her maid and husband straight up admitted she was faking
Oh, Helen.
The H.M.S. Barham is one of the more interesting episodes in Helen’s career because it almost seems legitimate. Almost.
Keep reading
this has gotta be the most perfectly shot and paced house tour I've ever seen
Reblog to kill a British person instantly
tea takes too much time and too much stuff for just getting flavor stained water there i said it
At last, the CEO of No More Tea Bags speaks out
hey kids
in case you relied on the .se (gone) and .org (long gone) domains
no but i'm still thinking about how much boromir would fucking LOVE the shire
it is beautiful rolling hills just stuffed to the GILLS with hobbits
including BABY HOBBITS
HOBBITS BUT SOMEHOW IMPOSSIBLY EVEN SMALLER
and yeah the adults might be fairly wary, but we see in the first movie that the kids come running immediately to see gandalf in hopes of seeing something magic
and now??? here is LARGE PERSON??? who can play swords and toSS THEM REAL HIGH UP IN THE AIR AND CATCH THEM???
boromir deserved to retire as the grandpa of endless waves of hobbits, and i will cry forever that he never got to live his destiny
weeping on the floor about
the idea of a hobbit mama scolding her faunts not to get too rough with "nice mr. boromir" as this man is exactly where he wants to be being dogpiled by giggly bb hobbits who absolutely "defeated" him in "combat"
warrior hands that have seen so much violence SO gently holding a TEENY TINY baby hobbit he was handed to let a papa hobbit track down his wayward toddler
(boromir fighting back tears because THEY COME THIS SMALL??? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???? THE BABY FITS IN ONE OF HIS HANDS???) (baby yawns and snuggles their lil cheek against his thumb and this man is nearly brought to his knees)
Official Manager Of Lifting Big Things
boromir accidentally joining a hobbit stitch and bitch club because someone's gammer asked him to carry her yarn for her to the meeting and he didn't know how to leave after he was greeted and handed food and tea
the club is actually fun, and the hobbit grannies respond to his tales of politics and battle with the same sympathetic clucking that they do to rivals stealing recipes, including his hand being patted sympathetically
boromir gets his own special big cup that moves from house to house for meetings so he can get an acceptable amount of tea for gossip time
there is So Much Lap for bb hobbits to claim
the concept of bb hobbits making him a flower crown for the spring festival so he can match everyone but having to adjust it twice because it's the first one they've made so big before
the idea of bb hobbits who heard stories (mostly from pippin and merry) who now yell out "GONDOR >:D" when charging into a playfight (they don't know what a gondor is) (they're not interested in learning)
(five of them are holding up boromir's shield and can't see past it) (they will charge headfirst into a tree) (they will learn nothing from this experience)
boromir having to learn how to do the cat owner shuffle because there are always faunts underfoot (usually trying to catch a lift on his feet because he can step SO high :D)
gandalf being lowkey salty because HE still gets side glances??? but boromir??? is basically seen as everyone's relative who just happens to be very large??? yes he is Big Folk, but above and beyond that, he is hobbit ✊😔
@milady-bugg oh my god great pyrenees boromir
@little---furnace
oh my god cultural misunderstanding of
in gondor: constantly at war, awareness of supply use, the polite thing to do is to ask for more if you want it but to always have finished what's on your plate when you're done.
in the shire: with hobbit appetites, a fully empty plate means a guest needs more. no one wastes a bunch (leavings will be fed to the pigs), but good manners to show you've had enough involves leaving just a bit to show you were well-satisfied and completely full. an empty plate means you need more to fill up the corners.
so boromir is trying to be done, but the hobbits just keep putting more on his plate, and it turns into a feedback loop of politeness that ends with boromir eating more than he ever has and still being stuck at this tea party two hours past when he first tried to leave.
the comedy of this poor man trying SO hard to eat fast enough that he can put his plate down and escape versus hobbit granny watching him like a hawk with serving tongs in one hand and a tray of mini quiche in another.
There’s a branch of the Medicis that moved to Ireland and now are running a successful chain of fried chicken restaurants which is a very different vinbe from when they were like buying popes and stuff
The current heir to the main branch of the Hapsburg family is an endurance race car driver
#if he got rid of some middle names i bet he would be more aerodynamic and better at racing via @/honeyseller
Correction: it's not the Medicis who run the Dublin fried chicken shops, but the direct decendants of the enemies of the Medici; the Borgias. The chain is called Borza and is better known for fish and chips. They moved to Ireland in the early 20th century. They are also said to have introduced the deep fried Mars bar from Scotland to Ireland.
The Borgias, among the most feared and reviled families in European history, running a fish 'n chips shop with deep fried Mars bars is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. It's like something from a D&D campaign where they decided to completely change genres.
Trent Ikithon is a Bad Researcher
No no, I think I am going to talk about it because it pisses me off personally
I’m a research technician and let me tell you the whole “research” scene in tm9a killed me. (Not because I think it was bad writing or done poorly. I think it absolutely served the narrative purpose of characterizing Trent, Essek, Astrid, and Eadwulf as well as giving us more plot information about the Beacon)
But like…Essek was right. You just killed a guy for nothing!! You’re not taking any notes! You have two perfectly capable research assistants right there and no one is writing anything down! Instead, they’re just clean up crew and subject transport. There are no qualitative notes being taken and no quantitative data being measured either! Do you have any demographic information for your subject? Would the relationship between a subject and a divine source influence the outcome of the experiment? Are you controlling for the way that you kill them? Does killing them with a magical weapon vs a non-magical weapon have an effect? Are you taking into account exhaustion from the researcher opening the beacon? Are you just trying to replicate the first experiment or are you going to change something to actually experiment instead of doing the DEFINITION OF INSANITY?! Are you even making sure that any of this is replicable? Where are your control trials? Or are you comparing what’s happening here to previous consecuted deaths? (Which I doubt there’s any actual research on)
“I am going to create an experiment that is so unethical” Yeah, to do so, you would have had to CREATE AN EXPERIMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
Anyways, the funniest interpretation of this scene is that Essek was only horrified by Trent’s lack of well structured research protocols.
Christmas market of Schlitz, Hesse, with the world's largest Christmas candle in the background
Every year four weeks before Christmas, the town of Schlitz creates the largest Christmas candle by wrapping the tower of Hinterburg Castle in red cloth and installing a metal structure resembling a flame on top. The Christmas market is set up on the market square of the old town, which is made up of half-timbered houses dating back to renaissance and medieval times and gives a particularly cozy atmosphere.
Despite its smal size of less than 10,000 residents, Schlitz features no less than four castles within the medieval town walls, all dating from renaissance to baroque times.
Wisdom of an Ancient Being: Holiday Edition 🦇🍬
“Legendary”
Having fun with a young North ( totally rambling on). Little name tweak, as it probably evolved over time, judging from his origin and how “St-North” sounds so english (I can’t begin to guess what his last name sounded like in his youth).
Sorry for the delay posting that one. Really busy with side projects. I don’t know what I’ll do with the few more story ideas that are running around in my head. :(