Anakin and Padme and Family and Parenthood
A part of the tragedy of RotS is that Anakin and Padme both wanted a family, and would likely have made good parents. This desire is, in fact, fundamental to both their characters and informs their actions.
Firstly, we see Anakin's relationship with his mother in TPM. They are close, and this is a relationship that Anakin values throughout his life. Likewise, Padme also values family. She still lives at home when she goes to Naboo and this is something Anakin appreciates:
You still live at home,â he said, shaking his head. âI didnât expect that.â
âI move around so much,â PadmĂ© replied. âIâve never had the time to even begin to find a place of my own, and Iâm not sure I want to. Official residences have no warmth. Not like here. I feel good here. I feel at home.â
The simple beauty of her statement gave Anakin pause. âIâve never had a real home,â he said, speaking more to himself than to PadmĂ©. âHome was always where my mom was.â
Padme outright tells Anakin in AotC that, "Actually, I was hoping to have a family by now. My sister has the most amazing, wonderful kids." Anakin also smiles when he meets said children. He thinks that he "couldnât help but be touched by the scene, a view of innocence that he had never known." What he sees at the Naberries is something he wants.
Anakin also admires how Padme cares about her family. "[Anakin] knew that she didnât want to bring pain to her family. Anakin, who had left his mother as a slave on Tatooine, could appreciate that."
Anakin so respects the role family has, in fact, that he is glad to meet the Naberries and spend time with them. He is also honest with Ruwee about the danger Padme is in, because he respects the love he has for his daughter. Anakin knows family is important to Padme.
[Anakin] could not deny the way PadmĂ© looked at her family, the love that seemed to flow from her whenever any of them entered the room, and he knew that if Ruwee or Jobal or Sola didnât like him, his relationship with PadmĂ© would be hurt.
All of the above shows again how much family is important to them both.
The AotC novelisation honestly goes hard into this importance of family and home. It is something that brings Anakin and Padme together. Eventually, the text outright unites them on that subject:
âHome again, home again, to go to rest,â Anakin recited, a common childrenâs rhyme.
âBy hearth and heart, house and nest,â PadmĂ© added.
Anakin looked over at her, pleasantly surprised. âYou know it?â
âDoesnât everyone?â
âI donât know,â Anakin said. âI mean, I wasnât sure if anyone else âŠÂ I thought it was a rhyme my mother made up for me.â
âOh, Iâm sorry,â PadmĂ© said. âMaybe she didâmaybe hers was different than the one my mother used to tell me.â
Anakin shook his head doubtfully, but he wasnât bothered by the possibility. In a strange way, he was glad that PadmĂ© knew the rhyme, glad that it was a common gift from mothers to their children.
And glad, especially, that he and Padmé had yet another thing in common.
So we can establish right here that Anakin and Padme have common values where family is concerned. They care about their family; they value their opinions; they want to shield their family from pain. They both want warmth and a home. Padme wants children. Anakin also does. It is implied in AotC, and outright stated in RotS. "This is the happiest moment of my life."
I've seen people say or imply that Padme did not value family, because she wanted Anakin to stay in the Order. This is not true. Padme suggests to Anakin that he stay in the Order in RotS because she was concerned about the war effort. She knew she couldn't stay in the Senate once the pregnancy came out, but did suggest hiding away for a bit to preserve Anakin's reputation first because: "Sometimes I think that the only reason the people of the Republic still believe we can win the war is because youâre fighting it for themââ Things were pretty desperate.
Another, perhaps lesser reason, is she is a bit worried that he will resent her, "I won't let you give up your future for me." They resolve that though and talk it through,
âI had been thinkingâabout going somewhere âŠÂ somewhere else. Having the baby in secret, to protect you. So you can stay in the Order."
âI donât want to stay in the Order!â He took her face between his palms so that she had to look into his eyes, so that she had to see how much he meant every word he said.
Anakin was content to leave the Jedi Order for his family's sake. He makes that clear in the movies, books, and comics. It's very explicit.
Padme herself is not all about being a senator or politics, as she is often depicted. She is unused to any kind of life outside politics certainly, and that informs her decisions. She cannot divorce it from her life. However, she was "relieved when [her] two terms were up." She serves as a senator because she felt she "couldn't refuse", and, again, "was hoping to have a family by now." She's as happy about having a baby as Anakin is. This is what she wants for herself.
The reason we do not see Anakin leave the Order in RotS is because of his visions. He stays in the vain hope of getting access to information that might help him prevent these visions from happening, not because he doesn't want to leave or Padme is forcing him to stay.
Anakin and Padme's relationship does have it's issues certainly, but these do not stem from a lack of consensus where family and children are concerned. They both want the same things out of life. Had their sense of duty allowed it, they both would have left the Senate and the Jedi behind long before RotS to raise that family. Anakin and Padme are bound by the duality of duty v. desire that they both wrestle with.
Hence, the fact that Luke and Leia are unplanned is simply because Anakin and Padme chose to wait a bit, and keep their relationship a secret given the state of the Republic. A lot of people, no matter how amazing their marriage, would not want to start a family during a war. It's not a reflection on them negatively. Anakin and Padme both felt they were needed for a bit longer. At their heart though, the most important thing to either was their little, but growing, and much-wanted family. I argue even that their values of compassion and service flow out of and are informed by their home and family lives.
So, we've established now that Anakin and Padme both share the same family values, and have the same commitment to their family.
The last question I want to answer is if they would be good parents. I think this is a no-brainer, personally. Anakin and Padme both grew up with loving parental figures. They already have some idea of what this looks like.
Additionally, we see in AotC that for Anakin not only is protecting family important, specifically protecting innocence like what he was largely denied on Tatooine is important. He likes kids and is gentle with them. He would want to provide his children with what he never had as a child like peace, freedom, and stability. Anakin defined compassion as a Jedi's most important trait, this would translate well to fatherhood.
On Padme's end, we have her talk about how concerned she was that she was too young to be Queen. In AotC, she also tells Anakin "try not to grow up too quickly." I think there is a part of her that struggles with her childhood burdens. I think this would influence how she would raise her kids, as carefree and happy as she can manage.
In conclusion, I think that both Anakin and Padme would have been good parents. They both would love unconditionally. They would also do their best not to put undue pressure on their kids, (especially with their backgrounds), but support them kindly in their endeavors.
And thus, on a macro scale, RotS is tragic because we have the slaughter of all the Jedi and the rise of the Empire. On a micro-scale though, where the Skywalker family is concerned, we have a family that was torn apart.
Anakin falls. Padme dies. The twins are split up. This is a tragedy, and it is set up as one from the moment we hear Padme say, "Actually, I'd hoped to have a family of my own by now."
