Fitness Adventure Time

tumbling toward middle life

[officerhaughtstuff]

You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........

now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020

[heterokatedison]

is it too early or can we start screaming now

[heterokatedison]

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

[jorolle]

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[bookhobbit]

why is “olde vampires in high school” the big thing and not “olde vampires in college”

everyone in college is eccentric. everyone

you wanna wear full on Victorian suit? the girl in pajamas who clearly hasn’t slept in three days supports you

everyone is too preoccupied to care as long as you’re polite and follow class etiquette

multiple high school diplomas? eh. same stuff. multiple BAs? Enjoy learning chemistry AND art history! All in detail!

wandering around campus at 3am? that’s just the lifestyle tm

no matter how old or young you look it’s not really that weird, there’s sixteen year olds and sixty year olds doing BAs somewhere

big schools are very anonymous so nobody’s gonna bother to hassle you

[dragon-in-a-fez]

consider: vampire PhD students and postdocs, because in addition to all of the above:

been at the same campus for 57 years? seems legit

[edenisquiet]

holy SHIT my previous post blew up

(lowkey screamed in surprise and joy when i saw the legend @justcakethanks themself liking my idea)

so yeah. here you go. another stupid one

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[trangoldin]

[itstoys]

guh

[needlesknick-knacks]

god forbid a woman have hobbies

[peachblossom-odyssey]

[gayeldestdaughter]

August 7th is Bandcamp Friday, meaning that 100% of revenue on Bandcamp goes to artists!

We have CDs, cassettes, and as always digital downloads of our studio album, taller than the redwoods, available at our main Bandcamp page!

We also have CDs of our session album "however we can…" available separately at SubRosa Space's Bandcamp!

Happy Bandcamp Friday!

[wembleyfragglesarchive]

i’m losing my mind

[wembleyfragglesarchive]

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

[avatardoggo]

oh

GROOVE WITH ME BABY

[lizluvscupcakes]

Ya gotta have

✨⭐️ SOUL ⭐️✨

[voidgremlinguege]

DONT STOP ME NOW!

[necromancelena]

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

the crazy thing about this is that it took one single word to turn it horny. coulda been a normal cute post. coulda taken the high road & conjured a delightful image of a mouse scampering down the bar with a beer ten times its size balanced on its head. but you had to say "mousegirl" and not "mouse." don't pretend this isn't what's going on either i know the score i know what's up. i'm familiar with this sort of semantic trick. you want to fuck down on an anime girl with certain characteristics of a rodent and everyone's gotta know.

[basileater]

>10 hours ago

>deactivated

[agave]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Good news: You gotta take it where ya can get it.

[twinyardz]

it's so funny and sad how jean thinks he's this unloveable thing meanwhile he's like the people's princess of the aftg universe. he won cat and laila over immediately and the rest of the trojans are completely obsessed with him. neil, kevin, and renee care about him so much and would do anything for him. andrew begrudgingly respects him and took his heavy-handed advice. thea calls him her little duckling. oh and jeremy knox is head-over-heels in love with him. he really is just that loveable

[prettyboyneil]

[sunderwight]

The problem with studying the deep ocean is that humans need light to look at things, the depths of the ocean are extremely dark, and what lives there is accustomed to spending most of its time in that darkness. So when we go down there with submersibles and turn on Big Lights to see, we invariably and dramatically alter what's going on, in the same way that it's generally difficult to observe the natural behaviors of terrestrial animals if you whip out a megaphone and shout HEY GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING at them first.

[adizzyninja]

A humble snubnose eelpout on its way to the whale fall buffet when some nearby humans give it a quick, unintrusive study:

[julianova44]

I put this in the comments but feel it needs a reblog- Check out some of Dr Edith Widder’s work on light in the deep sea! Among other things, she used the bioluminescence of stoplight fish to deduce wavelengths which most deep sea animals can’t perceive and used that to create light filters to be able to film with minimal disturbance! And that’s how we got 25 minutes of giant squid footage!!!!

[findmeinthealps]

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

[boringkate]

Check out this loser! She's just a product of her environment lmao! Not me though! I'm built different! Built by who or what? Well. I guess. Oh no...

[json-derulo]

okay wait I just did a BRILLIANT little sewing project/clothing hack. who wants to see

[luxflora]

meeee I wanna see!!

[json-derulo]

as I have mentioned on several occasions, I suffer from a rare and poorly understood condition known as Sir Mix-A-Lot Syndrome (SMALS). This means that I am little in the middle while simultaneously—some might even say contradictorily—in possession of much back. "But Tumblr user json-derulo," you protest. "That's a good thing. Hourglasses are sexy because they remind us of our own mortality. To live in the shape of one is a blessing!" But see, that's where you're wrong. For a pair of shorts to fit me like a glove, they need to accommodate a 10-inch difference between my hip & waist measurements without gaping up top or flashing the lower third of my ass cheeks when I bend down to pick up after my dog.

That combo just doesn't really seem to exist off the rack unless they’re low-rise or the fabric has a lot of stretch. Unfortunately, my platonic ideal of denim shorts is those non-stretch, cuffed, ultra high rise, 2013 Pinterest siren ones. If they don't make the goosebumps start to race the minute that my left hand meets your waist, they aren't it. I’m a Floridian and I’ve been jortsless for two summers. The situation was fucking untenable. What to do about it?

I have a pair of mustard yellow twill shorts from Big Bud Press that fit the bill, but for whatever reason, BBP no longer sells regular denim shorts. After ordering a pair from another brand that seemed to check all the boxes, my high hopes were dashed when they bagged out way too much in the waist after the first hour of wear. I finally accepted that I would just have to learn how to take them in myself, probably by hand since I don't have a sewing machine, which led me to this reddit thread. One of the top replies suggests making two small incisions at the waistband, threading through a strip of elastic, and sewing that in place to give anything a custom elastic waist.

It's such an obvious solution in hindsight that I feel silly for not thinking of it myself. All the pants, shorts, and skirts that actually FIT me have either elastic or a drawstring at the waist, allowing them to both fit over my ass and cinch the waist without compromise. My yellow shorts are a non-stretch cotton twill, but the back of the waistband is elasticized and smocked specifically for this reason!

I neglected to take “before” photos, or process photos—but that’s largely because this ended up being so ridiculously quick and cheap and simple to do. If you have approximately 50 cents’ worth of value pack 3/4”-width elastic, a pair of decently-sharp scissors, two safety pins, and a rudimentary knowledge of hand sewing, you can do this in probably half an hour.

Using the yellow shorts as a model, I ran the elastic through the little waistband channel, and only along the backside. I aligned the incisions with the side rear belt loops. There are definitely only two incisions in this image, because that’s all you need. You don’t need to do four of them. That would be overkill! It would take you like, an hour to stitch all those cuts back up! Stop zooming in. Don’t look. The scarring is on the inside, okay? No one’s even gonna see it except me.

Not only was this way easier than taking them in by adding darts at each side, it’s also just so much better, because the waist can still stretch to its full size when I’m pulling them on/off, or when I sit down, or if my body changes in three months. But they also fit perfectly now!

Yes, the waistband looks a little puckered at the back, and it still sorta looks like that when I’m wearing them, but I don’t actually think it’s that noticeable? Even if it is, it doesn’t look nearly as bad as the gaping waist did! I’m gonna be doing this to basically every lower body garment I own and I encourage you to give it a shot too if you also hate belts and are little in the middle with a statistically improbable quantity of back

[tiktoks-we-like]

[androdragynous]

Transcript: Why does this shit always ha - every time I go to the beach, some fuckin mollusk or dead thing pulls up. Are you at least alive? I mean, I don’t remember you being on my towel, so I’m gonna [pokes the crab] oh! wait [pokes it again] Oh! Big boy. [gasps as the crab runs away] He’s a fa - what the fuck? Does he - live in the sea? [gasps]